Total Drama Island: Again!
by Ktd123
Summary: Chris is back for a whole new season and joining him are some crazy cast members: your campers! Eighth challenge up! The guests arrive! Brothers and best friends and exes, oh my!
1. Thought I Was Gone, Didn't You?

**Total Drama Island: Again!**

**I've submitted some characters for and read several "send in your own character" stories and I've always thought "Hey, these are pretty cool." So I got this random idea… why don't I start my own? So, the rules and format for your application are after the intro. Here it is… Total Drama Island: Again!**

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"Hello TV viewers! You thought I was gone didn't you?" shouted an oh-too-familiar voice from television sets across Canada and America. A pair of shining teeth and so perfect it was almost fake looking five o'clock shadow greeted the viewing audiences. "I'll bet twenty two people, or should I say _campers _are squirming in their chairs right now!" He gave a laugh that was almost sadistic sounding.

And he was right, somewhere out in Canada there were twenty two teens screaming and throwing things at the television just to get the face of the man that had ruined their lives for a summer to go away.

"As you all probably know, I'm Chris Mclean, and I'm back!" The TV host himself was standing on a dock. Anybody who'd even seen him before knew what that dock meant. "Surprise, surprise everyone! Not only am _I_ back, but so is Total Drama Island!

"That's right people; we've got a whole new season coming up. And we are in desperate need of applications!" Chris held up a paper and took a pause to read it. "Now, it says here in my script that I'm supposed to get down on my knees and plead, but would you really want to see these perfect knees get dirty? No! So just imagine that I'm down on the dock, begging for your applications. That's how desperate we are."

"See, after the major success of the previous season, we had tons of applications come in, probably at least a thousand. However, all of those people were boring! And if they haven't noticed, the show is called Total _Drama_ Island. So we're on the hunt for applications!

"Just fill in the needed information for your applications and send it to us here in Camp Wawanakwa in Muskoka, Canada. Who knows? Maybe you will be picked for Total... Drama… Island… Again!"

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A little bit of rules…

1) Don't send in characters that you obviously sent into other stories. So, if you fill out more than what I ask for, I'm kind of going to be able to tell you're one of those people that submits your camper to every single one of these stories without reading the first chapter.

2) I'd like ORIGINAL CAMPERS! Not everyone out there's a goth or a rebel who just broke out of prison or a guitar player. And not everyone's cool, either.

3) If you're going to send in a musician character, can you please not put an entire song in their audition? It's fine if you put in a little part of it, but don't put the entire song. They're pretty short audition tapes if I remember, not fifteen minutes.

4) Submit as many characters as you want (though I don't think twenty five decent characters will fit into one review…) but I my opinion on this. First off, don't make the two characters you submit the Duncan clone and the Courtney clone (even if you don't say it right out) and then expect them to go out. What's the point of that? It's like TDI all over again! Also, if you submit a pair of characters that are already dating and I actually choose them, I can't guarantee they won't break up on the island… (hint, hint!)

5) Could you try and make your stereotypes one stereotype? I don't want the "Gothish, trouble maker, mysterious, skateboarder, sort of a tomboy", or the "beautiful/clumsy/smart/talented surfer chick". (And yes, these are real examples of stereotypes people put.) You can make the stereotype longer than just one or two words, but don't just list off a list of traits that'll make guys or girls want to hook up with you.

6) No characters that are exact clones of TDI characters (unless they're like obsessed or something and that's their stereotype, in which case carry on). I actually read a review where somebody's audition tape was Courtney's audition tape but with their person's name in it. Don't you think most of us have seen Courtney's audition?

7) If you're going to use foreign words (especially those Japanese ones like Otaku and stuff) could you explain to me what they mean? Sorry about that, but I'm really brain dead when it comes to these Japanese anime words (and words in any language other than English, Spanish, and mild Polish.)

I know I might sound like a snob, but I'm kind of trying to point out the obvious here. One or two of my own campers will be in the cast, but you won't find out what they're like until I pick the final campers. How many campers will there be? Anywhere between 16 and 22.

If you can't think of a stereotype, that's fine, but try to describe the character good in the personality section. But anyway, applications! Anything in parentheses you don't have to write. It's just there to explain what I want for each thing. Again, DON'T WRITE THE STUFF IN PARENTHESES!

**Name (and nickname if they have one):**

**Age (15-17):**

**Gender (for those wacky names that I just can't tell):**

**Stereotype:**

**Appearance (hair, eyes, skin tone, build, etc.):**

**Regular Clothes:**

**Bathing Suit:**

**Pajamas:**

**Notable Traits (are they freakishly tall? Do they talk with an accent? Stuff like that…):**

**Color That Represents Character (I'll explain this one below):**

**Personality (please make this more than a few words. I like sentences better):**

**Phobia:**

**Likes:**

**Dislikes:**

**Talents:**

**NOT Talents:**

**Paired Up:**

**If Yes, What Kind of Person:**

**If Yes, How Do They React Around Them (flirt? Watch from a distance? Get freakishly clingy all of a sudden?):**

**Short History (Family, where they're from…):**

**Why TDI:**

**Audition Tape (Totally necessary! I'll explain this below too):**

**Does Your Character Use Bad Language (may sound dumb to ask, but… a lot? A little? Not at all?):**

**Can Your Character Drive? (if I told you why I need this one, that'd spoil it):**

**Quote from Character (optional, explained below):**

**Favorite Challenge from Original TDI (optional):**

**Challenge Suggestions/Requests (optional):**

**Other (I'm not really sure what else there is, but…):**

I might have to explain a couple things…

**Color That Represents Character:** this is for later on in the game if they ever have to do an individual challenge. The color is to represent them. For example, if they have to grab a rope from somewhere or something, the rope with be marked with their color. Try to pick a color that you think nobody else will pick (like midnight blue or gray or beige or something.)

**Audition Tape:** This is completely necessary, unlike most stories. Why? I'm not going to put the entire selected applications up in a chapter, probably just their name and audition tape. Why this? Well, if you can already see everybody's phobia, what's the fun of a challenge that has to do with those? Or if everyone can see that this person has a deep dark secret, than it's not exactly a secret anymore, is it?

**Quote from Character:** This can be either a quote your character has said in the past, a quote you want me to somehow fit into the story that they say, or both. Just specify which one. Why? I don't know. Just for fun.

Also, if I need any additional information, I'll just ask either in an author's note or PM. So start sending in those applications!


	2. The Campers

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama Island or the characters you guys sent in!**

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Okay, so first off I would like to thank anybody who submitted a review! I would also like to thank those of you that complimented me on my writing! Wow! People actually like me! (insert creepily excited smile here) There were so many bios to choose from. I think I had over thirty girls and only about fourteen guys (I know I only got a total of thirty six reviews, so you might think I'm exaggerating, but some people submitted two characters and some sent PM's, so I'm not lying) so obviously, I was a lot less picky on the guys. There was definitely a huge diversity in stereotypes, though I probably got like ten tomboys, and I was so happy when I saw that. My problem was that I had so many good bios to choose from!

But enough babbling from me… the final cast results. I said I'd pick between 16 and 22 campers. But, as I said, there were so many good bios that I could only narrow it down to 26. There is a total of 14 girls and 12 guys, all very different people. I couldn't narrow it down any further unless I cut a couple guys, but I figured I would try to keep the numbers close. So, without further ado… the new cast of Total Drama Island: Again!

**THE DUDES:**

**Bren Tenkage: The Martial Artist (Bren Tenkage AKA Brenthewise)**

**Joe Howlett: The Movie Geek (AstroCreep)**

**Jake: The Nature Person (iCharmCaster)**

**Russell Figgins: The Comic Book Guy (Titanwolf)**

**Jolt Dallas: The Disc Jockey (SiliconGold127)**

**Joe Freeman: The Comic Artist (TDI Charlie Brown)**

**Keith Parker: The Artist (The Grim Sleeper)**

**Morty Oawn: 96% Perfect (Scalec)**

**Aaron Walters: The Overeater (Just Another Fanatic)**

**Irving Ranthor: The British Jock (Disney Princess Dani)**

**Riley Smith: The Prankster (totaldramaisland)**

**Tom MacHugh: The Nice Guy/Perv (The Forgotten One)**

**THE CHICKS:**

**Blair Waldorf: The Queen Bee (GossipQueen101)**

**Kyra Dawson: Childish and Random (AnimeGirl 144)**

**Corina Taros: The Scientist (xRockxMetalxBbyx9)**

**Blair Myracle: The Cross-Dressing Tomboy (xXDarkUmbreonXx)**

**Adriana Meisner: The Crazy Hyper Chick (Paka-Simon-Trevor-Forever)**

**Haley Figgins: The Fun Girl (Titanwolf)**

**Carrie Madison: The British Designer (My-Thoughts-You-Can't-Decode)**

**Gloria-Isabella Ruiz Hernandez: The Mexican Party Animal (One Black Rose)**

**Jayna Torres: The Crazed Environmentalist (TheFreakyMathChick)**

**Kathleen McCartney: The Sweet Pastry Chef (Cinnamon-Chan)**

**Tanya Tulasvies: The Drama Queen (Scalec)**

**Daphne Sherman: The Aristocrat (Just Another Fanatic)**

**Betsy Addams: Way Too Excited to Be on TV (Disney Princess Dani)**

**Lacey Merceau: The Nonconformist (Ktd123 {AKA me!})**

As you can see, there are two guys named Joe and two girls named Blair. That's not really a problem with me, but if their creators want to change their name that's okay too. And before you get the wrong idea, I tried to make my character one of the female stereotypes we didn't have, which happened to be a more rebellious character. So don't think I'd discouraged that stereotype because I wanted it. It's just how it turned out.

Anyway, I told you I'd only the auditions, so here they are. These weren't the basis for auditions, just to clarify that, the characters themselves were. And if I changed yours, it was only for grammatical purposes, and it will probably just be spelling that is changed.

**

* * *

**

Bren Tenkage: The Martial Artist

The camera opens to Bren in a Dojo in a Martial Arts Gi punching a bag.

"Name's Bren," he says. "I think I would be perfect to be on the show. Being tough and strong would make me real good for ratings." He shows off a cool combo of kicks then ends with a punch that makes a hole in the bag. At that point the sand pours out. "Oh, crap." The camera cuts.

**Joe Howlett: The Movie Geek**

Joe smirks at the camera as it turns on and gives a small wave. "What's up everyone out there in TV land! My name is Joseph Howlett, but you can call me Joe. Anyways if you have a single brain cell in your head you'll pick me. I'm easy to get along with, and can make just about anyone laugh. Plus I could really use the prize money so I can open my own comic shop. So pick me...you couldn't do worse." he said with a shrug.

Joe got up to turn off the camera when he manages to trip over his own two feet and knock it to the floor cracking the lens in the process. "Oh man...my bro's gonna kill me..."

**Jake: The Nature Person**

Camera turns on showing a boy standing on a street corner passing out flyers.

"Save the whales. Save the whales! Oh hi. Are we doing this today? I'm kind of busy can we reschedule?" Camera shakes no "Fine. I'm Jake. I want to go to Total Drama Island to help my animal rescue group with the money I could win. I'm a very compatible player and am a good leader. I really think I would do good, so choose me." The camera turns off.

**Russell Figgins: The Comic Book Guy**

The camera pans back to show Russell reading comics on the can. After several seconds, he notices the camera. He shrieks and slams the door.

"Not cool Haley!" he shouts, "Not cool!"

The camera is turned around to show a pretty brunette. "That's my brother Russell" she says, "Please pick him for TDI." The camera goes black, and a sound of the toilet flushing is heard.

**Jolt Dallas: The Disc Jockey**

"Hey guys!" "Two Headed Monster" by Royksopp plays in the background. "This is me, Jolt. And I should be in TDI because of my DJ-ing skills!"

**Joe Freeman: The Comic Artist**

Joe is sitting at his drawing table in his room.

"Hey guys, Joe here. Heard you were desperate for applications and thought I'd give it a shot. If you want someone who'll be exciting to watch and bring in the ratings, I'm your man, know what I mean? Otherwise, pick some other guy who'll probably kill your careers and your show. Plus, I could use the money to build my own comic studio, know what I mean? Want to see some of my work?"

He picks up a piece of paper and holds it in front of the camera. On that piece of paper is a woman dressed in a skimpy outfit and has large breasts. Joe quickly pulls it back from the camera.

"Oh crap, that's not the one I meant to show you!" He hangs his head, embarrassed. "I have to remember to cut that last part out."

**Keith Parker: The Artist**

Kestrel is sitting on a park bench holding up a blank canvas. "Watch this." He grabs a paintbrush and rapidly paints. After he's done, he shows it to the camera. It's an impressive picture of a werewolf fighting a vampire. "Awesome, ain't it?" He turns off the camera.

**Morty Oawn: 96% Perfect**

A camera is shooting a picture of a Eucalyptus Tree, and is mostly the trunk. After a few seconds, a voice says, "Up here!" The camera focuses upward.

Sitting on the end of one of the branches is a scrawny but handsome sixteen year old of African ethnicity kid, who's wearing jeans that look brand new and a little different than normal jeans, and a white T-shirt that also looks new and unique. Surprisingly, next to him, closer to the tree, is a large plank of wood stretched across two horizontal, parallel branches and on top of that were two plates of spaghetti and a candelabra with its candles lit. The tree trunk and branches makes a natural seat, but it is unoccupied. The kid takes a small bite of the spaghetti and looks at the camera.

"Bonjour, Chris, Chef, and anyone else who's watching! I'm Morty Oawn, and I want to be on Total Drama Island. But you want me to be on TDI, too. Why? Because I'll boost the ratings so high, you'll need a telescope to see the top! I'm the guy that will have all the girls panting for me, like that Justin dude on TDI Season One. Only I have something beside looks."

He takes another bite, and then continues. Unknowingly to him, a koala is above him and mocking all his movements. "I have heart. I'm the guy that the girls will be love struck for because I'm sweet and chivalrous,"-Here the Koala mocks a girl fanning and fainting for him-"And not only that, I'm a fair player. But of course, you don't really care about that Chris. Well, I'll take anything you throw at me, so bring it on!"

Morty is so caught up in his excitement he doesn't notice the Koala mocking him by throwing its arms up in the air. Unfortunately, it loses its balance and falls on top of Morty, who loses his balance from the sudden 'attack' and jitters the tree so much that Morty, the Koala, and the Italian dinner fall of the branch, and a large crash can be heard as the camera shuts off.

**Aaron Walters: The Overeater**

It's set outside at a crowded local pool. Aaron's at the top of the high dive. "Look out below!" He calls, and jumps into the pool, causing a huge splash and throwing several people out.

**Irving Ranthor: The British Jock**

A camera shows him on the football field and he scores a goal. He celebrates, and then runs to the camera.

"'ello, producers. I am Irving, and I'd love to be on your show. I don't imagine you get too many British auditions, as everyone I know says that you're all immature over there, but I think it'd be a bloody fantastic experience. Pick me, 'cause one day I'll be just as famous as David Beckham. Irving out." He gives a peace sign and runs off again, back into the game.

**Riley Smith: The Prankster**

"Riley here. I LOVE to prank. In fact, I'm gonna prank old lady Edna's house!"

5 minutes later, a house is shown. Toilet paper is all over, flowers are chopped from the garden, and the house and lawn is blue.

"SWEET! It worked!"

"Whiskers? Are you outside?" says a voice.

"Crap! Gotta go! Already have 8 sues from her! Bye!"

**Tom MacHugh: The Nice Guy/Perv**

Tom is at the park, explaining his good points and why he should be chosen, but stops upon seeing and overhearing a group of punks harassing a young boy. He walks over and as one of the assailants throws a punch the footage cuts to static, to then go back to Tom's face, now slightly bloodied, and yelling at the retreating group.

He suddenly remembers that he is being recorded, and smiles nervously, scratching the back of his head, ending with the words, "Um….yeah."

**Blair Waldorf: The Queen Bee**

The camera turns on to a girl walking down a white runway.

"Hi, I'm Blair, I'm 17 years old and I'm auditioning for Total Drama Island because… well, look at me! I'm gorgeous," she swings her hair, "fabulous, and most of all I'll do anything to win."

"Hey Blair, what's the red button for?" asks a geeky voice.

"Don't touch that." she said evilly. "As I'm what you'll call a "Queen Bee", but it's not my fault I have everything anyone can ask for."

"Hey when do I get paid?" asked the voice.

"Later, dweeb." she hissed. "And for what I'll use the 1,000,000 dollar prize, I'll use it for the biggest shopping spree in history and also I'll save some for Botox when I'm older."

"C'mon My hands are killing me" whined the voice.

"Oh that's it!" said a frustrated Blair walking toward the camera.

"No, no please!" said the voice dropping the camera. It goes fizzy and shows Blair beating a skinny geeky boy into the ground.

**Kyra Dawson: Childish and Random**

The camera turns on to see Kyra. "Hi! My name's Kyra Dawson, known as Kido to anyone who knows me really well! I'd like to be on Total Drama Island because it sounds like fun, and I'd like to see and meet new people! I'll do my best, and will play a fun game! I hope to hear from you all soon. Bye-bye!"

**Corina Taros: The Scientist**

A girl is shown dumping some kind of chemical into a beaker and stirring it. After five minutes, the mixture blows up in her face and the camera man coughs loudly. She turns around to face her older brother, the camera man.

"What, James? Can you not see that I am rather busy at the moment?" Corin calmly asks.

"No, not at all," he replies sarcastically.

"Well, you might be rather blind to not see that. Well, here we go. My name is Corina, but please, call me Corin. As you may see by the black charcoal smeared around my face that I love to experiment. A science geek, you might perhaps put me as. I may be a witty character, as I may sneak around, gathering important items for my next and future experiments. The reason I want to be on this "TDI" is so that I may use the money to pay for some new lab rats I've heard about. They're mighty expensive..." Corin finishes as the camera turns to black.

**Blair Myracle: The Cross-Dressing Tomboy**

The camera turns on, showing a girl who might be a guy watching some guys skateboard at the skating ark.

"Hey Blair!" yelled one of them.

She smirked and waved lightly before looking over at the camera, "Yo, the name's Blair Myracle, and you might be wondering if I'm a guy or a girl. Well, I actually AM a girl. I'm pretty sure that my voice kinda gives that away," she said, smirking again obviously indicating to her slightly high voice, "Now, I'm just going to cut to the chase, I wanna be on TDI because I need a chance to show people that I CAN do something and stop people from looking down on me! It does get annoying after a while, trust me," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey! Brat, come on!" screams a girl off screen.

"Fine!" Blair yells back and rolls her eyes, "Stupid witch of a sister..." she muttered and then flashed a real smile at the camera, "Pick me!"

**Adriana Meisner: The Crazy Hyper Chick**

Adriana is swinging in the park, smiling broadly and somewhat maniacally. "Is it on? YAY! Well, I should be on TDI because I would totally ROCK! ROCK YOUR SOCKS! And I'd win, and stuff!" She falls off the swings. "Cradoodles. Well anyway, pick me!"

**Haley Figgins: The Fun Girl**

The camera pans back to show Haley standing on top of a chain link fence.

"Hi I'm Haley. I hope you pick me for TDI and-" the camera falls sideways a little, "Russell drop the comic and hold the camera steady!"

He points the camera back up to Haley, just as she loses her balance and falls off. The camera goes black.

**Carrie Madison: The British Designer**

"Cheers, TDI producers!" a brunette smiled throwing in a wave. "My name is Carrie Madison, manager and designer of Carrie's British Boutique. Well, I suppose I sent in an application 'cause I want to leave my famous life for a while because my fans are driving me bonkers!" As if on cue, groups of girls…and guys...pointed at Carrie and started charging at her, with a few screams and squeals here and there. "I'd give anything to not be posh anymore!" Carrie exclaims slapping her hand to her forehead; the fans getting closer. Carrie forms a frustrated expression and runs, her voice fading, "Pick me!"

**Gloria-Isabella Ruiz Hernandez: The Mexican Party Animal**

You see Glisa dancing to some Mexican music in the background.

"Hola chicas! My name is Gloria, but mis amigos y amigas down here call me Glisa! Being from Spanish decent, I love to stay up late and party hard! Sometimes, when the tequila breaks out, I get a little crazy, you know? So, if ya wanna have ratings, I'm ya mija for dis show!"

A different song plays in the background, causing Glisa to gasp, "Son de la Negra? Ay, ay, ay! Gotta go TDI, mariachi is a-waiting!" She lets out a grito (long Mexican yell) and begins to dance. The camera cuts off shortly after.

**Jayna Torres: The Crazed Environmentalist**

A friend turns on the camera and a girl yells, "Go Jayna!!"

"Hi I'm Jayna Torres," Jayna waves while picking up trash, "You know our environment might get overflowed by water if we don't pay attention to our greenhouse gases?! So, if I can show the fans of TDI what we can do to save our world we can live much longer!!!"

"YOU GO GIRL!!" yell several people. The camera turns off into a buzzing thingy.

**Kathleen McCartney: The Sweet Pastry Chef**

She is in a bakery, frosting a small cake. Then she looks at the camera, and gives a toothy grin.

"Hey, I'm Kathleen! I would like to be on TDI because I want to renovate my mom's bakery. I really hope you accept me!" She puts the cake in a box. Then a woman comes up, handing money to her. She turns it down. "No, it's okay. It's for your husband, have a good day!" As the lady thanks her and walks off, she says, "Please pick me," And the camera shuts off.

**Tanya Tulasvies: The Drama Queen**

The camera turns on and reveals a pixie like girl, Tanya, standing in an almost empty hallway with her backpack slung over her shoulder and a small grin on her face. She's about to speak, but frowns at the last second. She walks closer to the camera, and then adjusts it even though it was perfectly straight.

She steps back and says, "Hi, I'm Tanya Tulasvies, and-" She stops mid sentence and adjusts the camera again, then continues, "and I want to be on TDI. I'm a great actor," She stops again and 'fixes' the camera, "And I can make your show completely," Another adjustment, "Completely perfect. I know makeup, lighting, writing, acting, everything. Pick me!" The camera turns off, but you can still catch a blurb of Tanya muttering, "Stupid Camera just won't stay straight."

**Daphne Sherman: The Aristocrat**

Daphne's standing against a white wall and is wearing all white. Her eyes are very bright compared to what is barely more than an outline of her body.

"This is my freak sister. She's a bit shy, so I'm speaking for her. She's like to be on TDI because she hates our parents forcing her to all the stupid events that they don't drag me to, just so they can show everyone how fake loving they are. She knows the minute she signs a contract with you, our lawyers will no longer have any loopholes to get her out, but she's ready. Okay, Daph, say it."

Daphne sighs, and then says in the Gizmo voice, "Bright light."

**Betsy Addams: Way Too Excited to Be on TV**

"Hey all, my name is Betsy, and I want to be on TDI so that I can give my town, Bottom Hole, a name finally. For some reason, everyone that surrounds us makes fun of us, and I think it's because no one that lives more than twenty minutes away has ever heard of us. So pick me!" There is cheering behind her.

**Lacey Merceau: The Nonconformist**

A camera turns on to show a girl sitting at a lunch table, drinking from a carton of strawberry milk without the straw. A guy next to her waves at the camera and mouths 'Hi Mom'. She puts the milk carton down and looks to the camera.

"Hey, I'm Lacey Merceau, and I want to be on Total Drama Island. I'm different. I'm not afraid to admit that." She says. "I single handedly protested against the school lunch programs in our town because the food was too crappy and got over a thousand kids in several schools' support. How? I'm persuasive." Lacey winks at the camera.

The guy next to her elbows her in the arm and says, "They're coming!"

"Okay, why do I want to be on TDI?" Lacey asks in a whisper. "Check out the Clones over here." As she says this, a group of four girls comes over to her table. All four are blonde, two of which dyed, all with hair styled into one of those poof styles. They are wearing matching Abercrombie t-shirts, each in a different color, all with jean skirts over leggings.

"Fashion Police," one says. "We're here to tell you how hideous you look."

"Stupid Police," Lacey replies. "I'm here to tell you how small of a mental capacity you have. I would have to say the four of you combined don't even have half a brain."

"You dress like a blind, insane person who has never looked in a mirror." Another girl retorts, her voice sounding exactly like the first. And with that they walk off.

Lacey rolls her eyes. "Who wouldn't want to avoid that? So pick me for your show if you don't want me to suffer in a boring Connecticut high school."

* * *

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns (official sounding, aren't I?) you can either submit it in a **review** or PM me. If it is anything regarding love interests, I'd recommend a PM, but I kind of figured you might actually want to meet the characters before commenting on romantic interests. Plus, I've already got a few planned out…

I'm not sure when the next update will be. Sorry about that. If you submitted a review after I put up the final results, my apologies again! This story's going to be good.


	3. Ep1, Pt1: Welcome to Heck!

**Yes! To all of you who were anxiously waiting in suspense, here is the first chapter! (Cue wild applause.) It's not very eventful, but it does officially introduce everyone. Oh, and a note to all: Blair Waldorf's name is now Sienna Van Der Woodsen. Oh, and before I forget...**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, do you _really_ think I own Total Drama Island? Really?**

* * *

**Chapter One: Welcome to Heck**

The day is sunny… the sky is blue… the entire scene seems like nothing could change the optimism in the air… that is, until the camera lowers down to the actual scene: Camp Wawanakwa. Standing there on the wooden dock was the unforgettable, handsome, talented (or so he claims), one and only Chris Mclean. The TV host flashed the camera a gleaming smile as it zoomed in on him, brushing back his hair in a typical pretty boy pose.

"Hello world, Chris Mclean here, as if you didn't already know that." He introduced himself. "And why am I back at Camp Wawanakwa?" he asked, raising his eyebrow in a typical Chris expression. "Well I am here hosting the newest season of everybody's favorite reality show, Total Drama Island!" The camera zoomed out to show the island again and then zoomed back on Chris. "This season, we're once again putting a bunch of entertaining teens on the island, make them survive many hazardous challenges, and vote each other off the island while at the same time lasting through regular teenage drama." Chris gave a sadistic laugh, obvious entertained at the idea. "And if you love the idea of that as much as I do, then tune in for this season of Total… Drama… Island… Again!"

**Cut to an Opening Title Sequence…**

"Why do we have an opening sequence before they meet the new campers?" Chris is whispering off to the side to a camera man at an opposite angle. "It's just time that they don't get to see my face."

"Mr. Mclean, we're rolling." whispers the man behind the camera. Chris turns to the camera with a nervous look and then breaks out his smile again.

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island: Again! Our campers will be arriving soon, and trust me, they are an interesting group." Chris said as the sound of a boat motor filled the air. He looked over off the side of the dock and gave a smile. "Say hello to Joe Freeman!"

A boat pulled up and stopped off the dock and a teenage boy stepped off. He wore sneakers, baggy jeans, and a gray sweatshirt with the hood pulled over his head. He was reading a comic book and pulling a suitcase behind him, and looked up at Chris.

"Hey, Chris." Joe said. He rolled up the comic and put it in his sweatshirt, and then pulled off his hood to reveal his face. He only had three hairs on the front of his oddly oval shaped head and three in the back, a very strange look. Chris swallowed heavily at the sight of his hair, being a hair product endorser.

"Well… nice to meet you." Chris said, grimacing at his hair as he walked past him.

Another boat stopped at the dock and this time a girl stepped onto the dock with a smile on her face. The girl had blonde hair with aquamarine streaks running through it pulled up in a bun. She was wearing a blue shirt with a pink zipperless vest over it, jeans short shorts with white leggings printed in stars under them, and bright blue boots that ended just below her knee. She was holding a tray of cookies in her hand covering in saran wrap and had a bag slung over her shoulder.

"Kathleen, welcome!" Chris said to the girl.

"Call me Kit-Kat, Chris." the girl replied. She approached the host, took the saran wrap off of her cookies, and lifted the tray up to Chris's view. "You want a cookie?"

Chris took a cookie off of the tray and took a bite out of it. "These are good. Where'd you buy them?"

"I made them!" Kit-Kat said proudly. She walked to where Joe was standing and offered him a cookie.

The sound of a boat could be heard and stopped at the dock. A teenage boy stepped onto the dock as the boat drove away. He was well toned and muscular with black hair tied into a ponytail. He was clad in a black long sleeved shirt and cargo pants along with two fingerless gloves.

"And our martial artist, Bren, is here!" Chris said.

"Hey, Chris, what's up?" Bren asked.

"Something's been bugging me lately. You're into the martial arts and everything. So are you from Japan or something?"

"No," Bren replied. "I'm from Idaho." And with that, he walked over to stand by Kit-Kat and Joe.

"Ay ay ay!" could be heard sounding through the air along with the sound of a boat motor followed by a long yell. Loud music with singing in Spanish started playing and a girl could be seen dancing wildly on the boat. The girl had brown hair with natural looking red highlights cut into choppy layers and dark brown skin. She was wearing a colorful off the shoulder shirt and high-waist skinny jeans along with cowboy boots and a white cowboy hat. She hopped off of the boat when it got to the dock, still dancing. "Hola chicos y chicas!" she shouted.

"Gloria-Isabella! Our party animal is here!" Chris said with a smile.

"Call me Glisa, hombre!" the girl said, stopping her dancing but still with the party girl energy. She took her luggage and walked over to the three campers already here. Kit-Kat offered her a cookie and she happily took one.

The next boat pulled up and a boy stepped off. He had shoulder length brown hair and stood at less than six feet, probably around 5'10. He was wearing a blue and white rugby shirt, boot cut jeans with pocket chains, and yellow and purple sneakers. On his fingers he wore silver rings with rimless glasses on his face.

"Chris Mclean, nice to finally meet you." He said.

"You too Keith." Chris replied.

"I'm going by Kestrel lately."

"Kestrel?"

"It sounds cool." Keith walked over to the others and Chris rolled his eyes.

The next boat to pull up had two people on it. The first was a tall guy with greasy brown hair wearing thick, Buddy Holly glasses. He was wearing a t-shirt with the Green Lantern logo on it, black jeans, and bright green sneakers. This boy was looking down as he walked off the boat and didn't seem like anything special. His companion on the boat, however, drew much more attention.

The girl who stepped off the boat behind him was gorgeous with long brown hair and a well endowed body. She walked confidently and wore a red tube top with a pair of black short shorts and pink sneakers. She put a hand on the guy's shoulder as to give him confidence and then they walked down the dock.

"Russell and Haley Figgins, what's up?"

"Hi, Chris!" Haley said. Russell muttered something inaudible.

"What did he say?" Chris asked.

"Something along the lines of hi." Haley replied.

"Oh." The siblings walked with the other campers and received cookies just as another boat pulled up to the dock.

Somebody stepped onto the dock, though their gender was questionable. They had short, choppy black hair with dark blue bangs that fell in front of their dark brown eyes. They were wearing baggy skater pants adorned with chains and black combat boots, a loose shirt, and a black and blue jacket.

"Um… Blair Myracle?" Chris questioned, wondering why anybody would ever name their son Blair. "Or is that supposed to be Blake?"

"Yo, Chris Mclean!" the person greeted. Their voice suddenly determined their gender, as it was slightly higher. "What's up?"

"Okay, I guess she's a chick…" Chris muttered. "Why don't you join the others, bra?" He jerked a thumb towards the group of campers behind him and Blair walked over, taking a cookie from Kit-Kat.

The next person to get on the dock was a boy wearing a white t-shirt and blue jacket and slightly worn jeans. He had messy brown hair and similar colored eyes with a tan, skinnier build. He was holding a paper in one hand and dragging his suitcase with another.

"And here's Jake, our resident nature person." Chris said, welcoming the newcomer.

"Hey Chris, I'm happy to be here." Jake said. He handed Chris a flier. "Here's an ad for one of the animal rescue groups I'm going to give the money to if I win. It's for orphaned dogs and cats in local pounds."

"Nice," Chris replied, pretending to look over the paper. When Jake walked away, Chris pulled the paper behind his back and started to rip it to shreds, dropping the leftovers on the dock behind him.

"Hello Total Drama Island!" somebody shouted from a boat coming towards the dock. The voice came from a tall guy with black hair cut military style in a crew cut wearing a black shirt and jeans. He was smiling mischievously at the people on the island and strolled casually off the boat. "Riley Smith," he introduced himself when reaching Chris. He reached out a hand in an offer for a handshake. Chris reached for his hand cautiously, and when touching his hand jumped in shock. His hair went to a frizz and his entire body shook.

"Dude!" Chris shouted, reaching to fix his hair before anything. "What the heck?"

Riley was laughing and held up his hand. "Joy buzzer, pretty boy," he snickered, pointing to the silver circle strapped to the center of his hand. "Too damn easy…"

A squeal could be heard over the upcoming boat engine, and everybody's head turned to the next boat. A girl was jumping up and down on the boat, gripping the side railing so tight that her knuckles were white. The girl was a bit chunky in figure and had wild curly brown hair and olive skin. She was very tall and slightly statuesque, though the jumping around really kind of ruined the statuesque appearance.

"Gee wilikers, Chris Mclean! I love you!!!" she screamed again and ran off the boat to the dock, gripping Chris Mclean in a tight hug. She was wearing a tight (okay, WAY too tight) orange tank top, a long purple skirt, and a pair of bright red flip flops. "I have always wanted to be on TV!"

"I… can… tell…" Chris said between strained breaths to get air. On an instant, the girl let go of him and turned towards the camera.

"Hi! I'm Betsy Addams, age seventeen, blood type O-Positive, bra size-"

"Whoa, bra! Too much information!" Chris said, covering up Betsy's mouth. She instantly pulled his hand away and started talking again.

"I'm gonna give a shout out to all my friends back at Bottom Hole! Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Hi Uncle Jimmy! Hi President Obama! Hi Mr. Hayes! Hi Dr. Goode! Hi that police officer that pulled me over for speeding! Hi Jack, that hot guy from my math class who has horrible acne but is still really hot! I left my number in your locker the other day! I love you!"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Riley said to Betsy. "Where did you say your friends are from?"

"Bottom Hole, my town." Betsy replied. Chris was cracking up by now. "What? What's so funny about that?"

"Do you realize your town is named after-?"

"Whoa, Riley, not on TV man." Chris interrupted the prankster. "She'll figure it out eventually."

"What's all this about a bottom hole?" asked a new voice. Heads turned to the newcomer, a guy who'd just stepped onto the dock.

"Ah, I'm guessing you're Tom, the new perverted nice guy." Chris said, recovering from his earlier laughing.

"Yes I am." Tom had an average build and height with brown hair parted down the middle and bluish hazel eyes. He wore a sleeved button up shirt over a black Led Zeppelin t-shirt and blue jeans.

"That comment you said was rude!" Haley shouted over to Tom.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist." Tom replied. "That wasn't the first impression I wanted to make, but I had the opportunity." He shrugged as if to show he was innocent.

The next boat to pull up had a girl on it who was smiling widely. She had long brown hair pulled back in a French braid and freckles with bright, chocolate brown eyes rimmed in long eyelashes. She was wearing a bright yellow t-shirt with "I Love Fudge" written on it, lime green short shorts, and cobalt blue combat boots. When the boat arrived at the dock, she giggled.

"Addy Meisner is finally here!" she shouted a little louder than necessary in a Dutch accent. "Helloje everyone!"

"What does 'je' mean?" asked Chris.

"Nothing," Addy replied with a giggle, cartwheeling off past the TV host and over to the crowd. "Ooh! Cookies! I love cookies!" She said, looking at Kit-Kat's tray. "I like chocolate chip the best! Oh, or macadamia nuts. Or how about chocolate macadamia, do you have any of thoseje?"

"I have chocolate almond chip if that counts." Kit-Kat said, pointing out a sugary looking cookie with chocolate chips in it.

"I love chocolate!" Addy squealed, taking the cookie and biting into it, bouncing into the group.

"Don't drop crumbs on the deck, you'll make a mess!" shouted a voice from the next boat. On the boat was a petite girl with shoulder length red hair and big green eyes. She wore orange capris with a skirt attachment that went to about her mid thigh, thick high heeled blue shoes, and a blue sequined tanktop that shimmered in the over head sunlight.

"You must be Tanya." Chris greeted. "How's it going, bra?"

In response, Tanya started adjusting Chris's clothes. "Fine, thanks," she replied without taking her eyes off his clothes. She made sure that his navy blue shirt collar was in the correct position, fiddled with the buttons, and then took a step back to examine her work. She then tried to brush part of his hair into place when Chris grabbed her arm.

"Don't. Touch. _The hair_." Chris said, slightly gritting his teeth.

"Sorry, sorry," Tanya said. "I'm just trying to make you completely perfect." With that she spotted the ripped up shreds of Jake's animal rescue group ad that Chris had thrown behind him and started plucking them off the dock. "Messy, messy, messy! What is wrong with you people?" With the paper in her arms, she walked across the dock to the other campers, who were all watching with several expressions on their faces.

The next boat pulled up to the boat and a girl stepped off, the only sound from her being her silver Mary Jane heels lightly clicking on the dock. She was very pale and very fragile looking but stood with impeccable posture. Her hair was pure white and her eyes were reddish, which clued everybody in that she was an albino. She wore a silver short sleeved dress, black satin gloves and opaque leggings, and was carrying a black umbrella with a black fringe hanging down around the edges. She looked up to the other campers across the dock, and some seemed to step back.

"Yo! Daphne!" Chris said. He acted friendly enough, but truth be told he had been a bit scared when he first saw her in her audition tape.

"Hello," was all Daphne said before making her way over to the other campers. Several stepped away from her when she stood near the group, but Kit-Kat and Betsy approached her.

"Gee wilikers! Are you a ghost?" Betsy asked playing with the fringe on Daphne's umbrella. "And what's up with the fancy umbrella?"

"No. I am an albino." Daphne replied calmly, not offended by her approach. "And I need my umbrella to shade me from the sun."

"Oh. Well, you look kinda ghostly to me! My friends back at Bottom Hole would totally be afraid of you!"

"That's… _charming_…" Daphne said, turning away to hide her slightly mean expression.

"Would you like a cookie?" Kit-Kat asked kindly.

"Yes, thank you." Daphne picked a sugar cookie off of the plate, eating it in a proper order. From afar, Tanya gave a nod of approval when noticing that she didn't spill any crumbs.

The next camper was a pale boy with shaggy brown hair and bright green eyes. He wore a black Ramones shirt, a pair of worn out jeans, and old sneakers. He stepped off of the boat trying to look confident, but instead tripped on one of the boards and fell. Several of the campers laughed.

"Joe Howlett," Chris said looking down to the teenage boy who was getting up off the dock. "'Sup, bro?"

"Nothing much." Joe replied, brushing off his jeans. He looked at the other campers. "This everyone?"

Chris laughed. "Not even close, dude."

The next person on the dock was a short girl with an eggshell white bass guitar held over her shoulder. She had long, brown hair with several purple streaks running through it near the front that ran to about her ribs and grayish eyes. She wore a black tank top with a loose purple tank top over it that tied up in the front in a corset-like style and dark blue jeans. When she reached the dock, she put the bottom of the guitar on the ground and leaned on the top of the neck, looking around at everybody.

"The infamous Chris Mclean," the girl spoke. "Sadistically tortured anymore helpless teens lately?"

"Not exactly," Chris replied. "I was a judge on a show where they made kids eat scorpions, if that counts."

"It counts as just as morally incorrect in my book." She rolled her eyes at him.

"I take it you're Lacey, the camp's new rebel."

"I prefer nonconformist." Lacey said, brushing a piece of hair out of her eyes. "Everyone thinks they're a rebel."

"Nonconformist, then."

"Just stick to Lacey." She slung the guitar over her shoulder again and walked over to the rest of the group. When Chris wasn't looking, she pretended to swing the guitar at him, but stopped mid-swing and joined the other campers, several of which snickering.

Blasting music cued everybody in to when the next boat was approaching as electronic sounds filled the air. On the boat was a teenage boy with brown hair tied in a small ponytail and an average build. He wore a UK shirt with baggy brown jeans and kneepads and had a tattoo on his right arm. He stepped off the boat when it hit the dock and slightly danced to the electronic music as it sailed away.

"Jolt the disk jockey, what's up?"

"Not much, man." Jolt said, walking past Chris. He put on a pair of headphones and got lost in his music again.

The next camper to reach the dock was an attractive teenage girl with rather pale skin. She had honey hazel eyes and wavy auburn hair with three streaks through it: one red, one blue, and one white. She was wearing a black and white t-shirt with a red and blue graffiti print splashed across it, blue skinny jeans, and black high heeled leather boots. She stepped up to Chris confidently, looking around at the other campers.

"Cheers, Chris." She said in an obvious English accent.

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Betsy jumped up and down from her spot with the group of already arrived campers, smacking Jolt in the face and almost knocking Daphne's umbrella out of her hands with her waving arms.

"Does she have to take a trip to the loo or something?" the English girl asked Chris in a whisper in seeing Betsy's flailing appearance.

"I think she's always like this." Chris grimaced.

"I've seen you on TV before!" Betsy said to the girl. "You own Carrie's British Boutique! That means you're Carrie Madison!" Betsy turned to the camera and smiled, pointing at the English girl. "See that mom? I'm on TV with a real British girl! And a famous one at that! We don't see many of those around Bottom Hole, do we?" At the mention of Bottom Hole, several campers cracked up again.

"Why yes I am Carrie Madison." The English girl said. "Though I'd rather stay away from the posh lifestyle for a while. It's just Carrie."

Just then another boat pulled up and a good-looking teenage boy stepped off. He had long black hair that is sprayed upward, chocolate brown eyes, and darker skin, most likely of African ethnicity. He looked rather confident in himself even though he was a bit scrawny and short. He was wearing a blue graphic t-shirt and jeans at the moment with a pair of sneakers so white they were almost shining. All of his clothing seemed new and never worn before, which was strange considering he was coming to an island with a camp on it.

Instead of walking up to Chris like the others, he walked up to Carrie, who was still standing beside the host.

"Hello, gorgeous. Of whom do I have the pleasure?" he asked with a polite smile.

"Carrie Madison," Carrie replied, looking a bit aggravated by the attention. "And who would you be?"

"Morty Oawn, at your service." The boy replied. "I love your accent by the way."

"Charmed," Carrie replied. She'd been trying to stay away from the posh lifestyle, yet she was just paid attention to for her looks. With that, she walked away.

"Morty my man, how's it going?" Chris asked the newcomer.

"Pretty good, Chris." Morty replied. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to introduce myself to some of these lovely ladies." He left that as a parting note and walked to the other campers.

The next boat to pull up had a slim girl on it that was waving wildly at Chris Mclean. She had long brown hair that was tied in a ponytail that ran all the way to her waist, curling upwards at the end. She was wearing a long sleeved pink shirt, a white miniskirt, white leggings that went to her mid thighs, and black boots that went to her knees. Her wild waving was accompanied by a childish smile.

"Hi Chris!" she shouted off the boat. The boat got to the dock and the girl skipped off it, stopping near the host with a ballerina twirl.

"Happy, aren't you Kyra?" Chris asked.

"Yep!" the girl nodded. "And you can call me Kido if you'd like." She giggled and then added, "Yosh, yosh!"

"What?"

"I say it when I'm happy." Kyra explained. With that she skipped over to the already arrived group, "Ooh! Cookies!"

"Watch out for that football!" a shout could be heard from the next upcoming boat as a soccer ball shot across the dock over Chris's head. It hit Kyra in the back of the head, and she fell to the ground. Everything was silent, even the newcomer stepping onto the dock.

"I'm okay!" Kyra smiled, hopping back to her feet with the soccer ball in her hands, rubbing the back of her head where she was hit. She threw the soccer ball into the air and caught it repeatedly until turning around. "Whose is this?"

"Oh bugger. That'd be mine." The newcomer was a tall teenage boy with a British accent. He had blonde hair in a fauxhawk and was lean and strong, obviously an athlete. He was wearing a red soccer jersey with the number seven written in gold on the back, tight white pants, and black converse shoes. He ran down the dock and up to Kyra. "Sorry about that. Guess I don't know the strength of my own kick. Could I have that back?"

"No problem." Kyra smiled, tossing him the ball. The newcomer caught the ball and held it under his arm, giving one last apology.

"Irving, I'm guessing." Chris said from his spot on the dock.

"You've got that right, bloke." The jock replied.

"Did I just hear a hot accent coming from a hot guy?" asked a completely new voice. All heads turned to the boat that had pulled up at the dock and to the new girl stepping off of it. She was very eye-catching with wavy brown hair that fell to her mid back, chocolate brown eyes, and a tan that looked as if she had just been to the beach on a vacation. She wore a yellow sleeveless blouse with a ruffled neck, black tights, and yellow heels. She strutted down the dock like a fashion model, flipping her hair over her shoulder and giving a flirty wink in the process. She looked and acted like a model, and ended off her walk by Chris in a stance that looked almost like a pose.

"I am Sienna Van Der Woodsen, and I was born to be on TV." She stated to the other campers.

"And now you _are_ on TV!" Chris said, pointing to the camera.

"I know." Sienna replied. "And you'll be _glad_ you picked me for this show." With that she walked off to the other campers, stopping near Irving. "I know _you'll_ be glad they picked me for this show." She said, flirtatiously putting a hand on his arm. Irving just stood with no obvious reaction, though his eyebrows went up in surprise and a slight smile was noticeable on his lips.

A clank of something glass hitting the wood could be heard and heads turned to the next girl on the dock, who was much less dramatic than Sienna. This girl had auburn hair up in a bun, freckled pale skin, and was pretty tall compared to the other girls. She wore a white button up dress shirt with three quarter sleeves and dark blue jeans, and was bending over to pick up a beaker from the dock. When she picked it up, she examined the outside of the beaker for scratches and then tucked it back into her luggage, walking over to Chris.

"Wh-"

"Before you ask 'what's up', Chris, I will do the job for you." The newcomer said. She had a slight British accent as well, though hers wasn't as casual as Irving's and Carrie's, and had very proper grammar. "My name is Corina Taros, age seventeen, but please, call me Corin. Before you mention it, I had dropped a beaker on the dock. You most likely have seen one of these in a school science classroom. I, for one, see them quite often for I fit under the stereotype of the scientist." She turned to Chris, "It is a pleasure meeting you, Chris." She walked to stand by the other campers, taking a cookie from Kit-Kat. She examined it first before taking a bite, and then tucked the rest into her jeans pocket. When people stared she simply responded with, "Experimentation," and they shrugged it off.

"Save the whales!" a shout came from the next boat. A girl was standing on it holding up what looked like a picket sign with a picture of a whale on it. "Do you want these poor creatures to die?"

The girl had dirty blonde hair with brown highlights and hazel eyes. She wore no makeup whatsoever on her olive toned skin and had a very natural look to her. Her slim body sported a t-shirt that said "Go Green" on it, brown cargo pants, and lime green converse shoes with a green charm bracelet dangling around her wrist. When her boat finally arrived at the dock, she stabbed the picket sign between two boards of wood and looked up at Chris.

"If you throw this into the lake, you would be killing the fish." She said with a glare. "This sign is made of 99% recycled material and is completely against hurting sea life. If I were you, I wouldn't touch it unless you are going to dispose of it the right way."

"Judging by your insane love for the environment, I'd guess you're Jayna. Am I right, bra?"

"Yes I am." She grabbed her bag and walked past Chris to the other campers. "Let's go GREEN people!"

"Well, how many campers is that?" Chris asked nobody in particular. Everybody starting counting.

Being a scientist meaning she was most likely at least decent at math, Corin spoke up first. "Twenty five."

"Okay, we're just missing one… more… person…" Chris's sentence slowed down as a large shadow was cast over him. He turned around to see who was casting the shadow and smiled at the sight. "Aaron, our final camper! What good timing you have!"

Aaron was heavy set, though not as heavy as Owen, had dark brown hair with a white streak down the side that was combed back with gel. He wore a red t-shirt with black jeans and a pair of black boots. He was wearing a black leather jacket with one hand in its pocket, and looked as if he might be a member of some sort of a biker gang.

Aaron gave a smile to the TV host and replied. "Thanks, Chris!" Everyone was surprised at his slightly friendly tone of voice considering he looked a bit biker-like in appearance. He looked over to the group of campers that were already arrived and instantly spotted Kit-Kat with her tray. "Are those… _cookies_?"

"Yes, they are." Kit-Kat said. "Would you like one?"

"Could I have _more_ than one?" Aaron asked making his way to the tray.

"Have as many as you want." She stayed true to her generous nature and moved the tray slightly towards Aaron. Instead of taking just one or two cookies, he took at least five and ate them quickly.

"Well, now that you're done with that, I'd say it's about time for a group photo!" Chris said, huddling in by the group. They all turned to the camera and most gave a smile, some smiles more fake or excited looking than others.

"So, what now?" somebody asked from the group.

"You'll find out..." Chris said, looking at the camera. "After a word from our sponsors." He pointed at the camera with two thumbs up and the show went to commercial.

* * *

**Well? Good? Bad? So-so? I'd love to hear all your opinions in a review. If I'm not exactly portraying your character the way you wanted me to, don't be afraid to mention it (though some characters' personalities haven't really been shown yet). If you have anything personal to say about your character, I'd rather you send it in a PM than a review so that not everybody knows what it is, but if you put it in the review it's fine.**

**The full name to this chapter was "Welcome to Heck (Or as Close to Heck as it Gets)". All of the chapters have a long, extended name that I will put either in the author's note at the end or beginning of the chapter or in the part where I wrote Chapter One.**

**I'd like it if you guys stayed with me through the story, or at least until your camper is voted off, because I might need to ask you guys for something about your character that I need or in some situations you might get to vote someone off. For the first couple of chapters, you guys won't get to vote, though. Sorry about that!**

**I love reviews!**

**-Ktd123**


	4. Ep1, Pt2: Teams, Fairies, and More

**Sorry this took so long, I was just sorting some stuff out, both for this story and some other stuff in my life. Unfortunately the "First Episode" will have to be split into 3 parts instead of the two I was planning on because I thought it would be more convenient. But, I know you don't want to read my boring author's note and just get on with the story...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama Island or any of your awesome OC's. No duh.**

* * *

**Chapter Two: Teams, Fairies, and Unhealthy Living**

"And we're back!" The camera opens up to Chris standing in the center of the fire pit where the new campers stood around. Some sat on logs, some sat on the ground, and some were standing, but all were watching Chris speak to the camera.

"Nice to see you dudes and dudettes still tuned in to see us," he said to the cameras. He turned around to face the campers. "So, let's get down to business. Teams!" Several of the campers grimaced at the thought of having to work with and depend on others. Several squealed in delight. I'm pretty sure you can guess who did what.

"Our first team will be," a drum rolls in the background and several people look around to see who is playing it, "The Tremendous Tortoises!" At the mention of the name, Riley burst out laughing. Chris gives him a glare. "What's wrong with tortoises?"

"Dude, tortoises are bound to lose." Riley said. "They're freaking turtles! Could that get any dumber? What's the other team? The Powerful Pantyhose?"

"Well, I wouldn't suggest making fun of _your own team_ like that," Chris told the prankster with a malicious grin.

"I can make fun of whoever I- wait. I'm a turtle?"

"Tortoise actually." Chris replied with a slight laugh. "And joining you on the Tremendous Tortoises will be… Irving, Morty, Glisa, Sienna, Aaron, Tom, Daphne, Jake, Joe Freeman, Kyra, Kit-Kat, and Betsy!"

"Woo! Yeah! We're tortoises!" Betsy burst out cheering. Kyra giggled along with her.

"That is so awesome! This is going to be so fun!" Kyra added.

"My uncle Phil ate a turtle once. We all had to give him the Heimlich maneuver because to get Leafy out. The poor turtle was scarred for life." Betsy smiled. Several of the other campers gave her blank stares.

"Okay then... and our other team will be…" the drum roll started up again to Chris's pleasure before he continued, "The Devious Deer!" The campers made faces at the name. "Okay, okay, so deer and tortoises aren't exactly exciting. But we took a viewer's poll on the names and these are the ones that one."

"Where exactly did you take this poll?" Blair asked, brushing her dark blue bangs out of her eyes.

"That would be confidential information," Chris replied. "But the Deer are made up of: Blair, Kestrel, Joe Howlett, Russell, Haley, Jolt, Jayna, Corina, Bren, Lacey, Carrie, Tanya, and Addy!"

"Yes! Goje Deers!"

"Deers isn't a word," Corin corrected Addy. "Deer is already plural."

"I have no idea what that means… but go Deerje!"

"Well, campers," Chris said. "Follow me and we'll go on our tour of the camp."

* * *

The group trudged behind Chris as he got to the mess hall. "As most of you know, this is the mess hall." He explained. "Home of our very own Grand Master Chef!" The doors to the mess hall suddenly slammed open and the tall, muscular dark skinned man wearing an apron walked outside carrying a spatula. He was holding the spatula with his huge hand up so still it almost seemed like a murder weapon just by its position. His sneer didn't really help the situation.

"Maggots," he said with a military-esque shout.

"Golly, I hate maggots! We had to play with maggots for science once and I freaked out because maggots are really gross and slimy and wormy and stuff!" Betsy babbled.

"Are you ready for several weeks of torture?" Chef shouted, mostly at Betsy, who shrank back when he talked.

"Yeah!" shouted Addy, looking around confused when nobody else agreed.

"Chickens," Chef said, stepping into the mess hall. The group followed.

"Whoa, this place isn't really a mess after all!" Kestrel said with an amazed grin and slightly surprised look in his eyes. Several campers rolled their eyes at him. "I thought it'd look like the Squinell War went on in here."

"What's the Squinell War?" Tanya asked, subconsciously adjusting Kestrel's rimless glasses and position of his sleeve.

"The Squinell War happened between the fairies and the elves after the fairies took their mushrooms." Kestrel explained, adjusting his glasses back to where they were before Tanya got to them. "It raged on for at least ten years and many homes of both species were destroyed. It was said to be the messiest war in elfin and fairy history with the most property destroyed."

Most of the campers gave Kestrel blank looks, Sienna rolling her eyes and turning away from him, and Betsy went on babbling about how her Aunt Tina thought she caught a fairy once, but it turned out being a firefly. A sniffle gave away one camper's reaction. All eyes turned to Kyra, who had tears in her eyes.

"That is so sad!" Kyra bawled, leaning on to the first person she could, which happened to be Daphne. "The poor, poor fairies!"

At the sight of Kyra getting snot on her dress, Daphne stepped to the side and Kyra dropped to the floor, letting out another sob. Daphne pulled out a handkerchief and Kyra blew her nose in it, letting out a huge trumpeting noise. She dropped it on the floor when she was done with it and Corina picked it up, stuffing it in her pocket. People stared at her and she replied, "Experiments," again.

Kyra got up and looked around at the others. "Can I lean on somebody?"

Kit-Kat, as generous as she was, stepped up to the offer. "It's okay," she said when Kyra cried into her shoulder. "The fairies are okay now."

"This is the mess hall!" Chef said to the campers in an unnecessarily loud voice. "If you go anywhere near my kitchen, you will die. I don't care why."

"Would you really kill somebody on mostly live television?" Lacey asked Chef Hatchet crossing her arms in disbelief.

"Would you like me to show you?" the muscular man asked, getting in the much smaller girl's face.

"Not really, but if you have to," Lacey said with a smirk. Chef shook his spatula at her threateningly but backed off when the camera man reached out a hand to stop him, whispering something about "not in the first episode."

"Oh my gosh! That was the closest I've been to someone almost killing someone unless you count road kill!" Betsy squealed, jumping up and down. "Did you see that, Mom? Maybe that'll be me!

"Okay… on to the next location!" Chris said, gesturing for the campers to follow him.

* * *

"This, my victi- I mean, campers, is the most famous outdoor toilet in Canada… the confession cam!" Chris said, putting his hands out to show off the outhouse. "Here you've seen the original campers' deepest confessions including Gwen's first admitting of her crush on Trent, Harold switching the votes to get Courtney voted off, Geoff's heartfelt love song to Bridgette, and, of course, Lindsay peeing!"

"Oh yeah!" Tom shouted at the last comment. "Which one of you ladies is going to pee in the confession cam this year?" All of the girls were silent. "I know someone's thinking it..." Tom said, a bit disappointed that there were no volunteers.

"Try it out if you'd like." Chris said, opening up the door to the outhouse.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "Is this the season of the freaks and geeks or what? I'm like the only hot person on this show, not to mention the most likely smartest and most entertaining." She swept her hair behind her shoulder and crossed one leg over the other. "Well, then there's that hot British jock. He's going to make this season worth it."

Lacey: "Oh, it's on Chef, do you hear me?" the petite girl asked, pointing at the camera. "You might be meaner, scarier, and a whole lot bigger than me, but it's on, man!"

Tom: "Okay, so here's the deal," the brunette said, his eyes shifting back and forth suspisciously, "I know you watch these, Chris. I know you watch every single one. So, if you catch any of those girls out there peeing in here, or one of them doing anything that has to do with taking off their pants, I beg of you to tell me. I'll do you a favor, I'll pay you, anything!"

Kestrel: "Who knew the Mess Hall wasn't really a mess?" he asked, adjusting his rimless glasses. "I mean, isn't that like improper naming or something?"

Kyra: "Those poor, poor fairies!" she said, sniffling a bit. Her eyes were still a bit red, but the tears were overall gone. "Who knew they could be so violent?"

Tanya: She is standing in front of the toilet, picking the spider webs out of the corner of the room. She turns towards the camera, and frowns. "Did you really think I'd willingly sit on such an unsanitary object before it was properly cleaned?"

Betsy: "This is so awesome!" she was bouncing up and down on the toilet seat frantically with a smile on her face. "Now I can say hi to more of my friends from Bottom Hole! Hi Cousin Larry! Hi Mrs. Marsh! Hi Kat! Hi-" The camera cuts off just to shut her up.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, so let me show you guys _your cabins._" Chris said, a sinister smile forming on his lips at 'your cabins'.

"I don't think I like the sound of that," Bren commented.

The group followed Chris over to the two cabins and he pointed to a wagon parked between the two that was stacked up with luggage. "Your luggage is in there." Chris then pointed towards the two cabins and said, "And your new homes for the next few weeks." He let out a slightly creepy laugh before continuing, "Deer on the left, Tortoises on the right. One side's for dudes, and one side's for dudettes. Take your pick."

"Girls take the better looking side," Sienna called out, strutting over to the luggage wagon. She grabbed her bags and started walking to the cabin on the right, the other Tortoises not far behind.

Kyra came cartwheeling by Sienna somehow keeping her bag slung around her shoulder as she turned. Glisa was right behind her with her luggage shouting, "Wait up chicas!"

"Dude, what is up with the condition of these plants?" Jake asked as he approached the Tortoises' cabin behind the girls. "I mean, really! The only ones growing in not brown and shriveled are the weeds!"

"Hey," Joe Freedman said, stepping beside Jake and looking down at the plants. "For all we know there's a full grown tree inside."

"Hmm… good point," he turned to walk towards the cabin, following the rest of the Tortoise guys towards the door.

"Um, Chris?" Blair shouted from the girls' claimed side of the Deer cabin. The camera shifted over to where she was standing. "Our side of the cabin doesn't even have a door!"

"Now that you mention it, we're missing about half our floorboards!" Joe Howlett shouted out of the guys' side.

"Is dere supposed to be a window here?" Glisa asked from inside the Tortoise cabin.

"So much for there being a tree in here," Jake said. "We're missing half our floor!"

"Oh they're supposed to be like that," Chris said letting out an evil smile. His teeth glinted in the sunlight for the camera. "We're about to start our first challenge!"

"This challenge is called Shelter Scavenger Hunt." Chris continued after coming back from a commercial break. The teams were gathered on the steps or porch of their respective cabins listening to the host, who was standing between the two. "In this challenge, you will be working to find the parts to your cabin. You won't work as a whole team, but in four groups all together (which actually isn't the same size, but you can deal with it): Deer Dudes and Deer Girls, and Tortoise Dudes and Tortoise Girls."

Chris produced four sheets of paper from behind his back and held them up. "These are your Item Lists. You'll have to find all the things to make a whole cabin." He passed them out to four people from four different teams: Carrie, Kestrel, Kit-Kat, and Aaron. "These things are hidden all over the camp. But what fun would the challenge be if there wasn't anything extra for you to go for?

There are a couple of items hidden around camp that are hidden very, very well and aren't necessary for you to get, but would be nice: a hot tub, a television, a radio and stereo system, a refrigerator, and a bag of toiletries just to name a few. Yes, we have installed electricity in the cabins before you ask. We were tired of filming five hours of girls blow drying their hair."

"What a complete waste. We have to conserve energy people!" Jayna shouted.

"Do you know how important it is to look good on camera?" Sienna shouted at Jayna from between the two cabins.

"She has a point," Jake said. "If you shared an outlet, it would be a lot more efficient."

"Well, my hair is much more important than the crappy environment!" Sienna snapped.

"Well, if you really want to die in a couple years-" Jayna started from across the cabins.

Chris interrupted the argument by shouting, "Can we get back to the challenge now?" The three stopped arguing at Chris's remark, but you could tell the two nature freaks weren't exactly on good terms with the queen bee.

"Okay, now that I have the attention again," the host spoke, "You can only work with members of your team… duh... and in the end whichever team has the least items collected (not counting bonus items) loses and has to vote somebody off. Any questions?" Both groups were silent. "Okay, go!" The four groups instantly gathered to see the lists, the Tortoise girls running off when Sienna snatched the list from Kit-Kat and took the lead.

"So, for you viewers at home," Chris said, pointing to the camera, "Here's a recap for you:"

**The Tortoise Guys:**

Irving

Morty

Joe Freeman

Jake

Tom

Aaron

Riley

**The Tortoise Girls:**

Daphne

Betsy

Sienna

Glisa

Kyra

Kit-Kat

**The Deer Guys:**

Joe Howlett

Russell

Kestrel

Bren

Jolt

**The Deer Girls:**

Carrie

Lacey

Haley

Addy

Blair

Tanya

Jayna

Corina

**The Item List:**

1 Door

2 Windows

2 Pairs of Bunk Beds

10 Floorboards

4 Roof Boards

**Extra Items:**

1 Hot Tub

1 Refrigerator

2 Televisions

1 Radio and Stereo System

2 Bags of Toiletries

1 Air Conditioner

"We'll see you after the commercial break!"

* * *

**If your character doesn't seem to be focused on yet, they probably will be eventually, just not in this chapter. There a whole lot of characters in this story, so I'm trying to focus on all different characters all the time. It's pretty hard.**

**If anybody has any, I'd appreciate some challenge ideas. It honestly took me a while to come up with this one. Hopefully it hasn't been used yet.**

**If you have any comments, questions, or concerns, don't be afraid to tell me!**

**I love reviews!**


	5. Ep1, Pt3: One Way or Another

**Sorry I didn't update this earlier, but I got sidetracked from fanfiction for a while. When I finally came back to this, it turns out I couldn't find where I put the folder that I keep all of my Total Drama Island: Again! things in. I finally found it yesterday (and did that thing Harold does where he pumps his fist and goes "Yes!") So I apologize once again for not updating earlier. But now that it's summer I can update faster!**

**One thing I forgot to explain in the last chapter was that on the list it said "2 Pairs of Bunk Beds." That wouldn't be enough beds for the campers. So the extra bunk beds are provided already. I had just realized it wouldn't make sense if I didn't point that out!**

**Just to warn you, this chapter is really long, so it has to be broken into a second part. I will post the next part right after this though, just because the chapters were supposed to go together.**

**Disclaimer: Total Drama Island and all of the characters in this story except for Lacey don't belong to me. Neither do the lyrics to Blondie's "One Way or Another", which I used for the title.**

* * *

**Chapter Three: One Way or Another I'm Gonna Find You**

**Tortoise Girls**

"Wait up, chica! _¡Demoras! _We didn't even see the list!" Glisa shouted as she, Kyra, Kit-Kat, Daphne (who for the record was still holding her umbrella), and Betsy (who was slightly distracted by asking Daphne why her umbrella had to be black and not bright orange or something) ran after Sienna. Sienna had a lead over the other five girls since she darted off with the list, having to take charge.

"If you want something done right, Glenda-"

"It's Glisa," the Mexican girl corrected.

"Whatever," Sienna said, continuing her speech, "but if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. And right now, I want a bed and a fully put together roof."

"Sienna!" Betsy shouted to the queen bee, still running.

"Not now girl who never shuts up!"

"But-"

"I'm doing what I want. Don't try to go against it."

"But Sienna!"

"Shut up!"

Betsy sighed and kept following the girl with a slight wave to the camera. She had been trying to tell her that there was an air conditioner sitting up in the tree they had just passed.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "My God, these girls never stop!" the queen bee said, rolling her eyes when thinking of her teammates. "Don't they understand that if somebody with more common sense than them is trying to lead the way, they should follow them?"

Betsy: "Hey, I tried." She gave a shrug and a meek smile to the confession cam before mouthing 'Hey Mom, look where I am!'

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Deer Guys

"Okay, so how are we going to do this?" asked Jolt, leaning over Kestrel's shoulder to see the list.

Kestrel was spacing out, obviously not paying attention, and with a slight smack on the side of the head from Jolt snapped out of it and shouted, "Dragons!" He got strange looks from the other four guys, Joe Howlett cracking up a bit, and then asked, "What are we doing again?"

"In my opinion, since we're at a disadvantage because we only have five people, we have to think strategy in this challenge and not go for the luxury items." Bren said. A mutter and a nod from Russell showed that he agreed.

"Well, Master Yoda," Joe said, acknowledging the fact that Bren had given logical advice, "I think we should just go out there and look around. We're more likely to find something if we're not looking for it."

"That seems a little bit illogical." Bren pointed out.

"Ill what-ical?" Jolt asked.

"It means dumb," Bren simplified for the DJ and then repeated, "I say we go with a strategy."

"Gung-ho." Joe supported his own idea.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Bren: "I didn't mean to rain on Joe's parade." The martial artist said. "But in my martial arts training, I also worked with my mind. And the logical situation at the time would be to use strategy."

Joe Howlett: "So maybe strategy would've been the 'smart' idea, but what's the Nike slogan again?" the movie geek made air quotes to emphasize the following, "'Just do it'. And just do it always works for me."

Jolt: "Dude, I have no idea what those guys were arguing about…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

As Joe and Bren bickered with Jolt and Russell observing, Kestrel had gotten up off of the cabins stairs and wandered over to a nearby tree, looking straight up at its leaves. Before anybody knew it, he had jumped up and grabbed the branch of the tree. Two wooden planks fell from its branches.

The clueless artist picked up the two planks and walked back over to his group. "Check two of the 10 floorboards off the list."

His four teammates looked up at him with a shocked look. "Looks like gung-ho works." Bren said as Kestrel set the planks down on the cabin porch.

"Told you so." Joe Howlett said, still a bit shocked.

**

* * *

**

Deer Girls

"I say we split up," Carrie said, standing in front of the other girls. She started counting the girls in their group until coming up with a total. "How about two groups of four?"

"Oh, oh, I want to lead one group!" Addy said, waving her arms around frantically and kneeling down at Carrie's feet, grabbing onto her legs. "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please-"

"Don't be silly," Tanya told Addy, "You would do it wrong. I should lead the group. We'll win for sure!"

"Why exactly should _you_ get to lead?" Blair asked.

"I want things to get done the _right _way, and I'm very good at judging what's right and wrong."

"All I've heard you do is complain." Lacey commented.

"I'm not complaining!" Tanya protested. "I'm just… giving my opinion-"

"On anything and everything." Was Lacey's sarcastic reply.

"I just want the world to be a perfect place, is all-"

"Um, could we start looking before we lose the challenge and have to vote somebody off?" Jayna asked.

"How about this?" Tanya asked. "I'll take… you, you, and you," she pointed to Jayna, Haley, and Addy (the three people sitting closest to her), "and we'll search this side of the island." She pointed to her right. "And then you four," she pointed to Lacey, Corina, Carrie, and Blair, "can search the other half."

The other seven girls agreed with that and set off in their own respective directions, Addy starting to sing as she walked.

**

* * *

**

Tortoise Guys

"So, how exactly can we tell the difference between roof boards and floorboards? They kind of look the same, knowwhatImean?" Joe Freeman asked.

The Tortoise guys had decided to just kind of go with the flow and not bother with a strategy and were now walking through the forest looking for items. They had already found a long piece of wood buried in a pile of dirt (which Morty was carrying over his shoulder because he thought the ladies would be impressed if they passed them) and could not distinguish what kind of board it was.

"Aren't there usually shingles on a roof?" Aaron questioned.

"Not on these cheapo roofs." Riley pointed out. "We're at a camp, remember, not some kind of paradise."

"I wouldn't consider shingled roofs paradise."

"Okay, I know this might sound weird, but am I the only one who thought that albino girl was actually kind of hot?" Tom asked the group. Several of the guys turned to look at him with strange (mostly confused) looks on their faces. "Hey, I was just wondering. No need to get all-" Tom was suddenly interrupted by running face first into a stopped Aaron (who was walking in front of him.) "Why did you stop?"

"Look at the weird bird up there." Aaron pointed up into the tree. Between several bunches of leaves sat a bright red bird that was constantly tweeting. It didn't even react when Aaron pointed at it.

"Maybe it's a clue to where one of the items is." Joe Freeman said.

"I'll get it." Morty said, handing the board over to Irving.

"Exactly how are you going to get it?" Irving asked, taking the board from Morty. The short boy simply cracked his knuckles and stepped up to the tree. In and instant he'd jumped up and grabbed the lowest branch and climbed onto it, slowly making his way higher up in the tree.

"Don't fall!" Riley said sarcastically, obviously trying to make the shorter boy freak out. "Oh, and don't look down either!"

"Even if I did look down, I've done this before." Morty replied back as he stepped onto the next branch. He was actually a pretty scrawny kid and wouldn't exactly be considered strong, but since he was short he could lift himself easily if he had the right momentum. "My audition took place in a tree." As he said this, he reached the branch with the bird on it and his face lit up in shock.

"What?" asked several of his teammates.

"It's not a bird." Morty replied back. "It's a TV!" With that he moved back several of the leaves covering the "bird" to show the others that it was actually an image on a television screen that was playing so it blended in.

**

* * *

**

Tortoise Girls

"Okay, so what do we have so far?" Sienna (still leading the girls) asked.

"Um…" Kit-Kat turned around to see what the other girls were carrying. "Four floorboards, a window, and a roof board."

"That's not enough." Sienna muttered, looking around. "If I were a sadistic TV host completely obsessed with my looks who find entertainment in seeing teenagers suffer, where would I hide important items?"

"Oh! I know, I know!" Kyra said while jumping up and down with her hand rose in the air. "Pick me! Pick me!"

"Kara?" Sienna sighed.

"It's Kyra."

"Kyra, then."

"I say we go to the lake and swim for a while!" Kyra said. She just received sighs and confused looks from her teammates.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kyra: "Tch. I can't believe Sienna didn't want to go swimming!" the naïve girl said. "I love swimming."

Glisa: "Sometimes, dat chica seems a bit _loca en la cabeza_," the Mexican girl said, while pointing to her head. "Swimming… really…?"

Sienna: The brunette said nothing for the confession cam. All she did was sigh and shake her head in disappointment while muttering something that sounded like 'idiot' under her breath.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Kyra, chica." Glisa said, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder. "It would be fun to swim, but it might be good idea if ya just didn't try to help, just for this challenge, _vale_?"

"Okay…" Kyra said with a slight pout.

"I know where we should go."

"If it has anything to do with swimming, I'm going to have to say no." Sienna sighed.

"No, it has nothing to do with swimming, I swear!"

"What, then?"

"We should check up there!" Betsy said, gesturing for the camera to turn to where she pointed. The camera turned and showed a giant cliff overlooking the lake with a winding path going up it.

"Sienna said smiled. "That's the best idea I've heard all day."

**

* * *

**

Deer Girls (Tanya's Group)

"Okay girls," Tanya said to Jayna, Haley, and Addy. "We're not doing all that well when it comes to the list." Corina had copied down the list for her group, so Tanya's group had the official copy, which was currently in Haley's hands. "We only have four things, and all of which were pretty easy to find." The items she was talking about happened to be two floorboards, a board for the roof, and a window. Each girl had one of these items in hand.

"We have four things." Haley said. "What's so bad about that? I'd say we're off to a good start."

"Yeah, and we haven't even had to destroy any plant life to get here!" Jayna commented.

"We could be off to a _better_ start, though." Tanya said.

"Oh, I have a really good idea." Addy said.

"Is this idea appropriate for getting us to win?"

"I think. It'll be fun too."

"What is it?"

"We can climb that cliff!" Addy pointed to the huge cliff to her right (the same one, though she didn't know it, that Betsy had pointed to just moments ago.) The other three girls just stood there staring at the cliff for a minute.

"When you think about it, the guy does like to torture people…" Jayna commented.

"And he'd love to watch us climb up that cliff." Haley added.

Tanya nodded. "Let's go."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "And they didn't have faith in me…" she said with a smile, bouncing on the surface she sat on. "I showed them. I know how you think, Chris!" She giggled after this. "You know what I feel like doing for some reason? Swimming!"

Haley: "That Tanya girl is so much of a perfectionist that it's annoying." She spoke quietly, as though somebody would hear her. "I don't want to be mean or anything, but she really has got to get used to things not going her way."

Tanya: "I think they finally understand my point of view on things." She was standing, examining the toilet. "Okay? Who got this thing dirty again?!"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Deer Girls (Carrie's Group)

"This doesn't exactly seem like a good idea if you use your proper judgment…" Corina commented.

"Yeah, but when you consider all the other options it is." Lacey replied.

"You know, I'm kind of with Corin on this." Blair said. "This really doesn't seem all that smart."

"Plus, what can we get out of sneaking into the Mess Hall?" Carrie asked, watching as the oddball brunette peeked in a window to see the kitchen inside, which looked dark.

"Don't you remember what Chef said earlier?" Lacey asked, wiping dust off one section of window.

"'Don't go near my kitchen or you'll die'?" Blair quoted.

"Exactly. So he's trying to keep us away from the kitchen." Lacey pressed her face up against the glass. "That means that there's something in there he doesn't want us to see."

"And?"

"And that 'something' could be on the list!" Lacey said, turning around to the other girls. She had dust smudged across her nose, but she didn't really seem to care. Blair and Corin just gave her doubtful looks. Carrie, on the other hand, had a smile on her face.

"I see where you're going with this." The Brit remarked. "It's a pretty clever thought, actually."

"See?" Lacey said. "So who's with me?"

"I am." Carrie said.

Blair shrugged. "What the heck? I'll do it." All three sets of eyes turned to Corin, the last of their group. The scientist hesitated for a moment until letting out a sigh and giving a nod, showing her agreement.

"Let's go, then."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Lacey: "I would've gone in with or without them." The purple streaked brunette insisted. "I'm not called a nonconformist for nothing. I don't exactly _need_ other people to get the job done… though help _is_ nice."

Blair: "Oh boy," the tomboy said. "This could either go really good… or we could all get our arms ripped out of our sockets by an angry dude in a chef's hat." She grimaced at the thought. "I'm kinda hoping it goes good."

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Deer Guys

Bren, Jolt, Joe Howlett, Kestrel, and Russell had wandered out into the woods and found a pair of bunk beds hidden behind a huge bush. Bren (being the strongest of the five boys) had pushed the beds back to the campsite just because they couldn't carry them around for any longer while Joe Howlett accompanied him ("for moral support", he claimed). Kestrel, Russell, and Jolt were still out in the woods looking for more items.

"I'm pretty sure we've got a good head start unless Kestrel or that quiet guy manages to get eaten by a bear while we're gone." Joe said to Bren as they started to approach the Devious Deer cabin.

The group of guys had managed to get a little over half of the items on their list. Out of all of their things, though, they had only found one extra item: a bag of toiletries that they had found (who would've guessed) in the communal bathrooms.

"I'm pretty sure we've beaten out the girls considering all that they've done so far is argue." Bren replied back. "And I don't think Russell or Jolt will get eaten by a bear."

"What about Kestrel? That guy seems a bit out of it." Joe asked.

"Well… that story he told in the Mess Hall did seem a little bit… crazy." Bren replied, trying not to make fun of the guy yet. He wasn't even sure if he should be telling Joe all of this stuff. For all he knew, he couldn't be trusted.

"Yeah. Who'd think fairies could be so violent, though?" Joe replied. "In all the movies I've seen, the fairies are pretty nice."

Bren pushed the bunk beds one more time until they hit the side of the cabin, where they would be left until the challenge was over. He wiped off his hands and then turned to head off to the woods, catching the Mess Hall in the corner of his eye.

"Um… am I the only one seeing this?" he asked, pointing towards the Mess Hall. From the distance, both Joe Howlett and Bren could see a team playing with the door on the Mess Hall. "Are they trying to break in?"

Joe didn't answer. He was already making his way over to the girls. Bren shook his head in disappointment and followed his teammate, only because he knew they were in the lead and that Kestrel, Russell, and Jolt could handle themselves for the time being.

As he got closer to the Mess Hall, Bren could identify exactly what was happening. The scientist had what looked like a miniature chemistry set on the ground beside her and was rubbing some green liquid on the lock of the Mess Hall while the British designer, bass playing rebel, and blue haired tomboy watched. He saw his teammate step up behind the rebel and tap her on the shoulder, only to see her jump and sneer at him.

"What're you doing?" Joe Howlett asked her.

"Why should I tell you?" Lacey snapped.

"I'm on your team, you know. We Deer have to stick together."

"Not for this challenge, you're not." She shoved him away with one hand but he just came back.

"I just want to know what you're doing!"

"What does it look like we're doing?"

"It looks like you're breaking into the Mess Hall, which could be fun." Joe replied with a smile.

"Well, you're right. _We_ are going to have fun with it. _You_," she pointed to Joe and Bren, "are going to go away."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Carrie: "That girl sure has a way with the boys…" the designer rolled her eyes at this. "And unfortunately, Joe Howlett didn't seem to get that."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"What do you want in there, anyway?" Bren asked as the nonconformist eyed Joe with a look that said she was going to push him again. "Well, other than a death wish, I mean."

"It doesn't matter what we want in here." Carrie spoke. "What matters is that you don't see it."

"Hit the deck!" Corin shouted, flinging herself a safe distance away from the exploding goop. The Deer girls and Bren all got down on the ground as the goop started to bubble.

"Wait, what?" Joe Howlett asked.

"She said hit the-" Blair was cut off by a ka-boom sound and Joe being knocked to the ground from the force. "Deck…"

"Damn…" Bren muttered at the goop on Joe's face. "You just pulled a Trent."

"How about this?" Joe asked the girls as they all got to their feet, completely ignoring Bren. His face had several globs of green goo stuck to it, which he was peeling off like leeches. "Let's make a deal-"

"Let's not." The rebel sneered.

"Wait," Blair said. "I want to hear this."

"Bren and I get to go in with you guys," Joe said, flicking away a goo blob, "and you can have whatever's in there that you need. _But _if there's a TV or a radio in there, we want it."

"Um, Joe," Bren said. "That doesn't exactly sound like a very good deal."

"Bren, we've pretty much got most of the things on the list," the movie geek said to the martial artist. "Lighten up." He then turned back to the girls. "So, what is it? Deal… or No Deal?"

**

* * *

**

Tortoise Guys

After successfully getting the television down from the tree, the Tremendous Tortoise males had suddenly been successful in finding more items. They had found half of the items on their list (including the TV) and were on a roll. Nothing could seem to stop them.

"What if we look in here?" Aaron asked, putting the three floorboards he was carrying under his arm. He used his free hand to point at a cave. The inside was dark, so the seven guys couldn't tell what it held.

"What if it's a trap that Chris set up?" Jake asked.

"Or worse…" Joe Freeman said. "What if there's quick sand?"

"Relax," Riley said. "This could be fun." He looked to the rest of his group. "Who's up for it?" Three hands, counting his, went into the air.

"Majority rules, Riley," Joe Freeman said.

"Wait," Tom, who was carrying the TV, spoke up. "I couldn't put my hand in the air since I had the TV. I vote for the cave."

Riley gave Joe a smug expression. "Majority rules, baldy."

"Hey, I'm not bald!" Joe said, gesturing to the few hairs he had on his head. "I just don't think this is a very good idea."

"Well, why don't we leave all our stuff outside, and you can stand guard?" Irving suggested.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Freeman: "I didn't really want to be annoying about it," the strange-haired comic artist said, "I just didn't want us landing in some huge trap! Chris would do that, you know."

Riley: "Dude, baldy was being such a wuss." The prankster said. "Guess he don't get out much."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Joe Freeman ended up agreeing with this and the items were dropped in front of him. The six guys then trooped on into the cave. Joe listened closely to what was going on.

"It's pretty dark in here." Jake commented. A snapping sound went through the air. "That's better. Where'd you get that match?"

"My pocket." Was Riley's bland reply.

"You know, matches can be bad for the environ-"

"Look! A refrigerator!" shouted Morty.

"Is it full?" Aaron asked enthusiastically.

"Go check."

"Hey there's a door and a window leaning against it, too." Irving said.

"And are those bunk beds?" Tom commented.

"Hey, look," Morty commented. "A furry bean bag chair."

"That's weird. There isn't a bean bag chair on the list-"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

"What was that?"

"I don't think that was a bean bag chair…"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

"Crap, crap, crap!"

"Since when do bears growl?"

"RUN!"

The six Tortoises ran out of the cave at full speed (Aaron being a bit behind) with a bear on their tails. Joe Freeman could only watch with a dropped jaw and hope that the bear didn't see him.

**

* * *

**

Deer Girls (Tanya's Group)

"We're almost there!" Addy shouted to the other three girls, cartwheeling up the hill. "We're getting closer!"

"We get it, Addy. We can see that we're getting to the top." Jayna groaned. The girls had just walked up the huge cliff and were thankfully nearing the top. "Can I just say that this is probably one of the worst ideas that I have ever participated in?"

"Addy thought of it." Haley said.

"But we were the ones dumb enough to agree." Jayna pointed out.

"Good point."

"Guys, guys!" Addy shouted, jumping up and down. "I can see a door up there! And a couple of boards! And two pairs of bunk beds!"

"Bunk beds?" Tanya moaned. "How are we supposed to get beds down this huge hill?"

As the four girls reached the top of the cliff they started to walk towards the bunk beds only to be stopped in their tracks by something that they didn't really want to see across the cliff.

"_You_!" Jayna said, pointing across the cliff at the horrible sight. It was the Tortoise girls, all of which looking as surprised as they were. She had her finger pointed right at Sienna. "The environment killer!"

"Hi there!" Kyra said to the other group, waving childishly.

"Get the stuff before they do!" Sienna shouted to her group.

"Bitch, don't get in my way!" Tanya screamed. At that, both groups of girls ran for the items in a slightly maniacal way while Tanya and Sienna seemed to be aimed at each other.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Daphne: "There was a great battle fought on that cliff." The albino aristocrat said, closing up her umbrella since she was inside. "Unfortunately I did not want to be any part of it." She rolled up her sleeve to show that her left arm had a big black and blue and a scratch on it. "Yet somehow I managed to get this even though I made sure to stay away."

Sienna: "Did that creepily perfect drama queen call me a bitch?" the queen bee's jaw was down at this. "Seriously, did she _really_ call me a bitch? _Nobody_ calls Sienna Van Der Woodsen a bitch and gets away with it."

Tanya: She is standing in the confession cam snickering. "I called her a bitch." The snickers turned into giggles after that. "She looked so mad!"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Deer Guys (minus Bren and Joe Howlett)

"We're on a roll, dudes." Jolt said to Kestrel and Russell. So far they'd already found the remaining three floorboards they needed, a window, and their final roof board. All they had left to find was a door, one more set of bunk beds, and another window and they were good to go.

"I can't believe we're doing this good." Kestrel said. Russell muttered something in agreement.

"AHHHHH!" Jolt, Kestrel, and Russell turned around to see a completely flustered looking Morty, Jake, Tom, and Riley running towards them.

"Dudes, what're you running from?" Jolt asked.

"BEAR!!!" the four shouted in unison, running past the confused three.

"Wait, did he just say-"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

"BEAR!!!" The Deer guys ran as fast as they could after the Tortoise guys, desperately hoping they didn't look anything like fish.

**

* * *

**

Joe Freeman

Joe just stood shocked as his teammates ran away from him. He was still in total disbelief. There was a bear! He watched as Irving made a sharp turn and got away from the bear, which didn't even look at him as he ran through the trees. Aaron fell as he was running, but the bear just hopped over him, chasing after the remaining guys. He could only wonder what would happen to Jake, Morty, Riley, and Tom.

"Hey, Joe," the comic artist heard a British accent say. "You want to go get the stuff out of the cave while they've got the bear distracted."

"Got the bear _distracted_?" Joe Freeman questioned. "You call that distracted?"

"Not exactly, but I guess it could be _considered_ distracted." Irving shrugged. "But come on. Riley dropped the match when we got inside, so we can probably get the stuff out."

"I'll help." Aaron said, walking up to his teammates. "I'm so glad I wasn't eaten by a bear. Can't say the same for the other guys, though."

"Well come on, let's go get our stuff from the cave."

**

* * *

**

Deer Girls (Carrie's Group plus Bren and Joe Howlett)

"Can somebody find the lights so we can shut the door?" Blair asked. Her teammates went searching along the walls for a light switch until one clicked on and the lights flashed on. Corin then shut the door and the group was stunned to see what was inside.

Sitting in the center of the room were all of the supplies for the scavenger hunt… several doubled.

"Jackpot!" Joe Howlett said.

"Hey," Lacey put a hand in front of him. "Remember our little deal, Howie Mandel?"

"How about we warp the deal just a bit?" Joe asked. "If there's extra besides what you need, we can take them."

Lacey practically growled at this.

"Just let them take the stuff they need." Carrie said. "We've got plenty to spare."

Joe Howlett just smiled at Lacey, her scowled back. "I feel like we got off on the wrong start," he said, with a slightly persuasive edge to his voice. "Hi, I'm Joe Howlett."

"I don't really care…" Lacey said, going over to join the Deer girls.

"You know, it's common courtesy to say your name back!" Joe shouted after her.

"Lacey!"

"What's lacy?"

"I'm pretty sure that's her name." Bren said to his teammate. "And I have to hand it to you. Gung-ho worked."

"It always does, my friend." Joe replied. "It worked for Anakin Skywalker, so it obviously works in real life."

* * *

**So... there were many unanswered questions here, which will be answered in the final part of Episode 1:**

**What was the outcome of whatever was going on up on that cliff?**

**What happened to the guys being chased by the bear?**

**Did Joe Freeman, Irving, and Aaron bring their team to victory?**

**All these and more will be answered... soon!**

**And remember... I love reviews!**


	6. Ep1, Pt4: So Who's First?

**This is probably my fastest update ever. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. Here's the final part of episode 1.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama Island or any of the characters in this story besides Lacey.**

* * *

**Chapter Four: So… Who's First?**

"Campers! We have two teams with all of the needed items!" Chris's voice rang through loudspeakers throughout the camp. "Please return to the cabins so we can total up your items!"

The lineup in front of the cabins was not a pretty one. Carrie, Lacey, Blair, Corin, Bren, Joe Howlett, Aaron, Irving, and Joe Freeman were the only campers not in a complete mess. That was nine out of twenty-six campers. Bad odds.

Jolt, Russell, Kestrel, Tom, Riley, Morty, and Jake were all panting, sweating, and tired, some of which had grass stains on their knees. Jolt looked like he would fall to the ground any moment. Russell's glasses were falling off his sweaty nose.

"Okay, what the heck happened to you guys?" Chris asked.

"Bear…" Jake panted. "Huge, fast bear..."

"Really?" Chris smiled. "I am so glad we renewed his contract!" He received dirty looks from all seven guys.

Tanya, Addy, Haley, Jayna, Sienna, Daphne, Kyra, Glisa, Kit-Kat, and Betsy were all equally as tired, though most of them had cuts, scratches, and bruises on them. Most of their hair was in complete messes. Some of them even had ripped clothing. Sienna and Tanya were the worst.

"Do I even _want_ to know what happened to you guys?" Chris questioned.

"We got into a... a _disagreement_ up on the cliff." Kit-Kat spoke for the group.

"Wait, wait, wait," a tired out Tom said. "There was a catfight on the cliff, and _we missed it_?!" He received nods from all ten girls. "Darn it!"

"It was horrible!" Kyra spoke, practically on the verge of tears. "Addy pulled my hair!" All eyes turned to Addy.

"Hey, I was caught up in the moment." She shrugged.

"You two were barely in the fight…" Haley commented.

"I told you, I was caught up in the moment." Addy repeated. Most people just figured not to ask.

"I thought it was fun." Betsy said. She then turned to the camera. "I wish you guys recorded it so all my friends back in Bottom Hole-" a slight fit of laughter erupted in the other campers, "-could see it. They would've been so proud of me! Dad, you would've been like 'that's my little girl' and my classmates would've been like 'yes! She is the coolest kid in school' and all the surrounding towns would've been like 'let's all go to Bottom Hole'!"

"I can't believe you bit me!" Jayna commented.

"Hey, you were asking for it!" Betsy said.

"I wasn't anywhere near you!"

"Okay, okay, let's just get on with the winners and losers." Chris said, interrupting the arguing girls. "The Deer Girls and Tortoise Guys had turned in their items already, both having a full list and more, so they are both safe from getting voted off."

"Wait, seriously?" Tanya asked.

"Yes seriously," Carrie said. "We got all of the items while you guys were beating up the other team."

"Deer Guys?" Chris turned to the two separate groups. "What do you have?" Kestrel, Jolt, and Russell dropped their items in a pile.

"And the bunk bed over there." Jolt said, pointing to where Bren had left the first bunk bed.

Chris then turned to Bren and Joe Howlett. "What about you two?"

"One moment please…" Bren said, holding up one finger. He and Joe ran off to behind the Deer cabin and then came pushing a bunk bed with a TV, window, radio, and several floor and roof boards on it. "Here you go."

Chris just gave them a look. "Why do I have the feeling you guys stole these?" The two teenagers just shrugged. "Okay, and Tortoise Girls?"

"Um..." Sienna spoke. "Our items kind of… fell off the cliff."

"_Everything_?" The six girls nodded.

"You do know what this means, don't you?"

"That we win?" Kyra asked hopefully.

"Nope." Chris said with a sadistic smile. "It means you girls are going to our first Campfire Ceremony!"

Groans came from all six girls.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "Great, just great," the queen bee said to the camera. "First the cliff fight, and now this? And worst of all, Tanya scratched me right here!" She lifted her arm and pointed at her wrist, which had a Band-Aid over it. "Now I'm going to look like a total loser at the campfire ceremony."

Betsy: "Hi everyone, this is a message for everyone in my hometown in Bottom Hole." Betsy gave a wave as if she could see them right then. "Anyways, Grandpa Jim said that he was going to make t-shirts with my face on them that said "Bottom Hole Wants to Be Famous" on them. And to show your support for me making our town famous, you should buy one from him." A big smile lit up on her face as if she was in a commercial. "Grandpa Jim Addams is a big guy, has this little wispy beard and huge glasses, no hair or his head, he's got a big mole right here-" The camera cut off just to make her stop talking.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

The sky was dark and sprinkled with stars over Total Drama Island. Camp Wawanakwa was lit only by lights in the cabins and a blazing fire in the center of the fire pit. The fire gave a mysterious glow onto Chris Mclean's handsome features as he stood over the fire, waiting for the females of the Tremendous Tortoises to arrive at the ceremony.

The six girls entered in a single file line and all took their seats on stumps near the fire. They had just taken turns casting their votes and were now nervously waiting for the answer of who would be voted off the island first.

"Ladies," Chris spoke.

"Did you hear that?" Kyra asked Kit-Kat. "He called us ladies!"

"You are here at the first Marshmallow Ceremony of Total Drama Action: Again. One of you will be the first voted off of the island." The fire spit sparks out, illuminating Chris's face even more as he lifted a plate up to show the girls. "These marshmallows aren't just tasty, sticky treats. For you girls, they represent _life_. There are only five marshmallows on this plate… and there are six of you.

"Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow has been voted off the island. Once you are voted off you'll walk down the Dock of Shame into the Boat of Losers, where you'll be brought to Playa de Losers. You can never come back to the island. _EVER._" Betsy gasped when he said ever.

"Sorry," she said. "Dramatic effect."

"You've all cast your votes," Chris said. He picked up one of the marshmallows. "The first marshmallow goes to…" Dramatic music played as he eyed each and every one of the girls. "Kathleen."

Kit-Kat smiled as the host threw her the marshmallow. "Thanks!"

"The next two marshmallows go to…" Chris paused again. "Daphne and Glisa." Both girls looked happy as they received their marshmallows. "This next marshmallow goes to…" Chris paused once more.

"Will you _please_ stop dramatically pausing and get on with it?" Sienna asked.

"Fine, fine, don't get your panties in a bunch, bra." Chris said. "This marshmallow goes to Kyra."

"Yay!" the childish girl cheered. Instead of catching the marshmallow it nailed her right in the side of the head.

"There is one marshmallow left…" Chris said, holding the one tasty snack in front of him. "And two of you." Sienna looked unimpressed. Betsy looked like she just peed herself.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Glisa: "I hate to say dis, but this chica definitely deserves this vote. She's just a bit too crazy for my tastes."

Kyra: "Sorry. I really don't want to vote anybody off. I have to though. You were nice… but I have to."

Daphne: "You were really into that fight up on the cliff. That was really what made me draw the line and vote for you."

Kit-Kat: "It's just got to happen. Sorry about this."

****

End Confession Cam

* * *

"The finally marshmallow tonight…" Chris said, holding up the fluffy white treat. He looked between Sienna and Betsy as dramatic music started to play. "Goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Sienna."

"I knew it." The queen bee said, catching her marshmallow and giving a snarky grin to her teammate. "Bye bye Bottom Hole."

"Wait… are you serious?" Betsy asked.

"Yes I am serious." Chris said.

"Golly…" Betsy said, getting up. Instead of walking to the Dock of Shame, she walked straight up to the camera. "Did you hear that, Mom? I was voted off! It was nice being on the camera for a change, and I hope Bottom Hole got the recognition it deserved. Bye Mom. Bye Dad. Bye Grandpa Jim. Bye lunch ladies. Bye mailman. Bye Ellen. Bye Mrs. Ashcroft. Bye Cousin Larry. Bye that hot guy I gave my phone number to in math class who I expect to call me back after he sees this episode. Bye-"

"Okay, okay, move it along," Chris said, pulling Betsy away from the camera and pushing her onto the Dock of Shame.

"Dang it." Betsy said, as she stepped into the Boat of Losers. As she sailed away she waved to her teammates. "Hope you guys last longer than I did!"

Kyra, even though she'd voted for Betsy, was crying.

**

* * *

**

The Mess Hall

Chef Hatchet shuffled through his pockets to find the key to the Mess Hall, hoping he hadn't left it in his other apron. When he pulled out his keychain, he picked the key out of the group and started to try to put in the lock. To his surprise, he couldn't find it.

"What the…" In place of the lock was a hole blown straight through the door. He could see right through it. Chef started to growl.

"WHO BROKE INTO MY MESS HALL????!!!!"

* * *

**And there you have it... the end of Episode 1!**

**What crazy challenge will await in Episode 2? I honestly have no idea! But I'll get to work on that soon.**

**Anyways, if a certain part of your character's personality hasn't been shown yet, it probably will eventually. It's just the first episode you know! Also, if your character is voted off, you will see more of them. There will be a Playa de Losers special and they'll probably be mentioned.**

**If you'd like to, you can mention (in a PM or review, doesn't matter) a character your character might want to be paired up with or be friends/enemies with. You can even comment on which characters you think would be good couples who aren't your characters if you want. I can't guarantee I'll use the pairings (I have several planned out already), but I love readers' opinions.**

**Feedback? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Submit a review or send me a PM!**


	7. Ep2, Pt1: Oh! A Bathroom Scene!

**Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Actually, my birthday's tomorrow (July 5th), but I'm pretty close. So what am I going to do to celebate my birthday? Post the next chapter of this story!**

**First off I'd like to thank all of you who suggested challenge ideas. I'd list all of you, but I don't want to forget somebody, but you know who you are! With both your ideas and my ideas, I've got a crazy group of challenges planned out for these campers.**

**Anyway, just as some kind of a note: the scene that takes place in a bathroom only takes place in the bathroom because I got a dare from my friend Larissa (who totally loves Total Drama Island and has been constantly reading this story... which I just found out a couple days ago) to type a page-long scene that takes place in bathroom (How this came up, don't ask. It's a long story.). So after I asked her what exactly is she imagining happening in this restroom, she answered with this completely stupid statement: "What's a better place for flirting/conversations than a bathroom?" (And yes, before you ask, she's into dirty humor.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island or any of the characters in this story besides Lacey. I also do not own American Gladiators (that show with the steroid induced Neanderthals beating the snot out of adrenaline pumped civilians with several padded objects) which I used as an inspiration for the title of this chapter and part of the challenge.**

* * *

**Chapter Five: Don't You Just Love Bathroom Scenes?**

Nights at Camp Wawanakwa could be buggy… they could be noisy… they could be wet at some points, though you most likely would not want to know what it was that was dripping onto your forehead… overall, they were just really, really uncomfortable and made you wish that you didn't sign up for this crappy reality show (but still, doesn't everything else about it make you wish it really was a talent competition anyway?). However, night time was the only time you had to sleep (unless you lucked out and had time to sleep during a challenge), so the campers had to make the best of it.

"I am _so_ not sleeping above the albino chick!"

"She has more physical features to her than being albino."

"But I don't even want to sleep near her, so there is _no way_ I am sleeping in the bed above her!"

"Nobody said you had to, Sienna."

Sienna had been arguing with the one person who most people didn't expect to argue… Kit-Kat. The worst part, though, was that she was arguing over something as pointless as where she slept. Chris and the crew had brought furniture in for the girls… though, only what they needed. Their cabin was still missing a couple of floorboards, so one corner of the room had a huge hole in it, but it was better than nothing.

"Chicas, chicas!" Glisa said, walking into the cabin along with Kyra. "¡_Calman_!" The two girls had just returned from changing in the bathrooms to see Kit-Kat and Sienna arguing while Daphne dug through her bags to find her pajamas.

"What does that mean?" Kyra asked Glisa.

"_Calman_ means to… um… how you say, give it easy?"

"Do you mean _take_ it easy?"

"_Sí, sí,_ 'take it easy'." Glisa nodded. She walked over to the bunk she had picked underneath Kyra's and put the handful of clothing she was just wearing back in her bag.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Glisa: "Did I forget to mention dat my English isn't all that great all the time?" the party girl asked. "Because I haven't exactly been living in the States all dat long…"

Kyra: "Glisa's Spanish is sooooo cool!" she giggled. "I wish I could talk another language! I could always make up my own!" She thinks for a minute and then said something along the lines of "Peanut butter, broccoli, elephant, cactus" and then laughed. "I just said I like apple juice in Kyranese!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"As I was saying, Sienna, I was going to sleep above Daphne. You could always use the extra bunk." Kit-Kat said to the queen bee, "Since Betsy's not here, there's one bed open."

"I get to sleep alone?" Sienna asked. The other girls nodded. "Yes!" Sienna swung her several bags onto the top bunk of her bed and picked up the pajamas she was going to change into. "I'm going to the bathrooms, anyone else care to join me?" Both Kit-Kat and Daphne followed her out the door.

When the three girls got to the bathrooms, Sienna stopped, the aristocrat and pastry chef stopping behind her.

"What is it?" Daphne asked.

"I hear voices…" Sienna said. Then a smile formed on her face. "Guys' voices…"

"Yes, it _is_ a communal bathroom." Daphne replied.

Sienna pressed her ear against the door, and then let out a squeal of excitement. "I hear a British accent!" She stood up, brushed off her clothes, and pulled one item in particular on top of the pile of pajamas she was carrying: a lacy black bra. "Watch and learn ladies," she said to her teammates, "_This_ is how you make a grand entrance." The queen bee burst gracefully through the doors of the bathroom and stopped once she walked inside. "Hello, boys!"

Standing in the bathroom at the sinks (some of which brushing their teeth, others just piling up their pajamas to leave) was Morty, Irving, and Aaron. Joe Freeman yelped from one of the urinals and quickly flushed the toilet, pulling up his baggy pants.

"What are you doing in here?!" Joe asked, quickly running to wash his hands just so he didn't forget in front of the girls.

"_Communal_ bathrooms…" Daphne repeated. Morty strolled over to where Sienna was standing and gave her a smile.

"Hello, gorgeous," Morty said, referring to Sienna.

"Charming," Sienna raised an eyebrow at Morty, "the runt's hitting on me."

"But you have to admit, even if I am… _slightly_ vertically challenged… I _am_ very attractive." Morty said, waggling his eyebrows.

"I wouldn't say 'very', Short Stuff," Sienna snapped, "but you're decent looking. I'm not interested in you, though," she said, strutting over to the sinks. She pushed past Morty and Aaron only to stop near Irving and give her best smile. "You, on the other hand, have sparked my interest." The truth was that it wasn't specific Irving that struck her interest… it was just his hot accent combined with the fact that his pajamas lacked a shirt that had really caught her attention. However, she didn't feel the need to admit that. All his other aspects would grow on her.

"Hey, Kathleen." Aaron said walking over to her in what he thought was an extremely manly walk. The pastry chef found herself just a bit intimidated… though his next statement really broke the tough guy act, "Do you happen to have any more sweets with you?"

Kit-Kat tried to hold back a giggle and smiled at Aaron. "It's possible."

"Really?!" Aaron asked enthusiastically, but after realizing his eagerness, coughed and lowered his voice a bit. "I mean… really? Well, that sounds tasty… I mean, cool." _Okay, I can do this, _Aaron told himself mentally, _I just need to act cool in front of the only girl on the island with good food. This will go well._

"Okay, well, cool." Kit-Kat replied, slightly confused at his change of tone. He'd gone from completely happy to sounding like he was trying to get a job with a guy wearing a leather jacket or something. "See you, then." She said with a smile, taking her pajamas into the nearest bathroom stall.

The bathroom door opened once again and interrupted the conversations going on around the room (though Sienna seemed to be completely enthralled in seducing Irving).

"Whoa, party in the bathroom!" all eyes turned to the three girls in the door: Carrie, Lacey, and Blair. Blair continued speaking as the three girls head to stalls with their pajamas in hand, "Why weren't we invited? I'm told I make a great punch!"

"I'm told I'm great at spiking a great punch." Lacey commented, pushing open the door to a stall.

"Wait, you're going to spike punch in the toilet?" Aaron asked, obviously not fully recovering from the thought that Kit-Kat might have food with her.

Lacey just gave him a look. "No, I'm going to _pee_ in the toilet." She rolled her eyes as she slammed the stall door behind her.

"Wow, she's in a bad mood." Joe Freeman commented.

"I would be if I were her." Carrie replied from inside her stall. "Chef just burst into our cabin and practically strangled her. I swear he was going completely bonkers!"

"Why?"

"He blames her for the whole Mess Hall thing… well, it kind of was her idea, but none of us mentioned that."

"And I will love all of you if you don't mention it to him!" Lacey commented in a suck-up tone.

"Well, considering we weren't even there, I think we'll say we know nothing about it… knowwhatImean?" Joe Freeman asked, collecting his belongings and heading for the door, Aaron following him out.

"You know," Sienna said to Irving (now the only voice speaking in the room). "I really love guys with accents."

"Um… thanks" Irving smiled meekly. He had been planning on leaving when Aaron and Joe had, though Sienna was holding him in the bathroom much longer than he wanted to be there. "I think you might have actually said that a moment ago."

"Oh, I know!" Sienna said with a completely purposeful giggle, putting her hand on Irving's chest. "I'm just trying to make a point!"

In the bathroom, Lacey and Blair were both making exaggerated barfing and gagging sounds at this giggle. Carrie, however, was exiting her stall in her pajamas: a spaghetti strap tank top with a Union Jack on the front and a pair of black sweats. She walked to the sinks, washed her hands in one, and then unexpectedly walked up to Sienna and Irving. She put one hand on Sienna and one hand on Irving and quickly pulled them apart, Irving almost giving a sigh of relief at this.

"What the hell was that for?!" Sienna asked.

"Nobody really wants to see that, thank you." Carrie said. "And in the one second I was out of the stall, I could see that Irving here didn't really didn't want to see it right now either."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say why don't you go and grope a bloke who actually _wants_ you to grope them?"

Sienna's face at this was Kodak worthy. "Who says you have a say in this, weird British chick?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to help the guy out."

"Well, he doesn't need you help. I had him all under control. Team mates, you know? So why don't you go off to your Deer and do all your foreign fashion crap."

"Possessive, aren't you?"

"Intruding, aren't you?"

"I'm bright enough not to copy somebody else's insult."

"You do realize you are just _asking_ me to throw another insult at you, don't you?"

"Go right ahead."

There was no telling who would win. Both girls had very high self-esteem and the insults seemed to be sliding past both of them, not making their mark. Eventually, Carrie had the upper hand in the argument, but was the one bright enough to step out of the fight while she was ahead. The designer walked to the door of the bathroom with her belongings in hand.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you here in the bathroom where I know you'll be comfortable." She said. "Oh, and by the way, your outfit really does make you look like a bee. Very fitting." And with that she was off.

"Well, fine, back away from me," Sienna said, stomping into a stall to change out of her so-called "bee outfit". Irving just stood for a minute shocked at the scene that had just folded out in front of him until shrugging and walking out the door. Lacey and Blair walked out of their stalls when the argument was over (both not needing to fake gag now that the flirting had left) when the door swung open. It was Tom and Riley. Both girls looked like they were going to crack up at the sight of them.

"Don't tell me," Riley sighed in defeat. "We missed _another_ catfight?"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Irving: "I cannot believe what I just saw. Two girls fighting over me! Really!" the jock had a stunned expression on his face. "I've known these girls for half a day and already Sienna's crawling all over me! And Carrie pushing her away? I didn't think the poor Brit would get out of there alive! That girl's got guts!"

Sienna: "Okay, so I like British boys," the brunette spoke. "British girls on the other hand, _especially_ fashion boutique owning ones, aren't exactly all that great. I would call them somewhat rude and disrespectful of others' business to say the least. British girls are the kind of people that would butt into somebody's flirting with a hot guy just because they think you're 'rudely groping them'." Sienna rolled her eyes. "She's just jealous."

Carrie: "She's got to give the guy a break," the fashionable girl said, "I mean, getting in somebody face all the time isn't all that romantic... I'd find it kind of creepy, actually."

Riley: "Again!" the rude prankster said. "We missed _another_ catfight! Tom's got it right, Chris, you've gotta start telling us about these!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

The next morning seemed peaceful and quiet compared to last night's bathroom ruckus. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, the grass was green... ish. Most of the campers were sleeping still, and it seemed as though they wouldn't be rudely awakened like in past seasons…

_Beep… beep… beep… beep…_ The sound of a large truck backing of filled the air as did the sound of what seemed to be a bulldozer. The sound of something extremely loud scraping the ground was added to that, and then a big thump following it. Just to complete the truck orchestra was a noise that sounded a lot like a dog panting, strangely enough. The trucks… and dog… were so loud that all of the sleeping campers were jolted awake, most of which running to the door to see what the noise was.

When the doors were opened and 26 heads poked out to see what the noise was, they were greeted with a strange sight: several construction trucks digging what looked like a colossal hole a short distance from their cabins. The most surprising thing about this sight though, was who was helping dig the hole: the one, the only Betsy Addams. She was the source of the dog-like panting, and was flinging dirt behind her so fast she seemed to be a blur.

"Betsy!" Kyra cried out to her ex-teammate and friend (or at least in her eyes).

"Hey… Kyra…" Betsy said through her rapid breathing.

"What are _you_ doing here, Bottom Hole?" Riley asked, her town's name being the only thing he remembered about her.

"Chris… asked me to… come and… dig for him!" Betsy shouted.

"What're you digging?" Kit-Kat asked.

"A hole!"

"For what?"

"I dunno."

"Big help you are…" Riley muttered off to the side.

"Campers!" Chris shouted, walking onto the premises from practically out of nowhere wearing a construction hat. "I see you all see our Official Camp Wawanakwa Dueling Trench in progress-"

"Dueling Trench?!" the crowd shouted in unison.

"Yeah, the Official Camp Wawanakwa Dueling Trench. I copyrighted that you know." Chris said, gesturing to an intern in a hard hat running out and placing a sign in the ground that read "OFFICIAL CAMP WAWANAKWA DUELING TRENCH" with a little copyright "r" after it. "Come with me to the Mess Hall and I'll explain."

* * *

The campers all lined up for breakfast/gruel, all totally pumped, totally scared, or totally confused about Chris's Dueling Trench. They all received their gelatinous green blobs that Chef claimed was French toast (well, all but Lacey, who instead received a dirty look and an even dirtier finger gesture) and then sat down at the tables that Chris had designated for each team. Aaron seemed to be the only one eating the Jello/toast/toe jam hybrid, claiming it was lime and maple syrup flavored. Everybody else engaged in conversations with their teammates, Sienna giving Tanya and Carrie sneers across the room.

"Campers!" Chris shouted, walking into the room wearing a pair of dark glasses and a leather jacket.

"Sweet jacket!" Aaron shouted to Chris, gesturing to his own and giving the host a thumbs up. "What's the occasion?"

"I'm trying to look tough and gruff for today's challenge." A microphone similar to the one somebody might see in an old professional wrestling match (one on a really long stick that echoes when you talk) extended from the ceiling and into Chris's hand. "Total… Drama… GLADIATORS!!!" The room was silent. "You can react, you know."

"Good. A challenge I can use my martial arts skills for." Bren commented.

"I'm more of the non-violent type." Kit-Kat insisted.

"Have I mentioned I'm an aristocrat?" Daphne asked.

"Oh, you could totally beat somebody up with you umbrella!" Kyra giggled.

"That'd be uber cool!" Addy shouted from across the room. "She'd go up there all fancy and be all like," she jumped on the table holding an imaginary umbrella and started doing moves that looked very Star Wars-like, "Boom! And take that! And this! And that! And then you'd smash him over the head with your umbrella like in Whack-a-Moleje!"

"I am so seeing that scene in Star Wars playing out in my head right now…" Joe Howlett remarked.

Joe Freeman seemed ecstatic, "This will be just like in that one scene in that Superman comment when Superman and Braniac battle it out-"

"With swords because they're trapped in an alternate dimension!" Russell finished for him. **(Note: I totally made that up. Weird stuff goes on in comic books.)**

"That was so awesome!" Joe Freeman smiled.

Many people turned to look at Russell, though they had no idea what the two were talking about. This was the first time several people had heard him talk. Seeing all the eyes on him, Russell slowly rose an issue of Spiderman that he had hidden under the table up in front of his face, opening it up to read.

Taking this moment of awkwardness to be his chance to step in, Chris spoke into the microphone once again. "And now follow me outside for the rules of Total… Drama… GLADIATORS!!!"

The campers all stood gathered around the Dueling Trench to find that the construction workers and Betsy had all disappeared. The Dueling Trench, however, definitely hadn't.

"The Official Camp Wawanakwa Dueling Trench is one thousand feet deep- same as the huge cliff's height- and is filled with water!" Chris said into his microphone, which was now handheld, pointing to the trench. "You will have to stand on one of those two itty bitty pieces of land that are left over-" he pointed to said pieces of land, each looking like it might fall over any second, "and battle until one of you falls into the water!"

"What do you mean by," Jayna made air-quotes as she said this. "'battle'?"

"By battle I mean three rounds of beating each other senseless with these!" Chris put out his arms and a pair of interns walked into view, both pushing racks on wheels. On the racks was what looked like-

"Giant q-tips?" Riley asked, looking at the 'weapons' like they were dirty socks. "That's even more pathetic than tortoises and deer."

"Yes! Giant q-tips!" Chris shouted, his voice echoing in the microphone. He picked one of the giant q-tips off the rack and showed it to the group. "Only it's not fluffy cotton you'll be hitting people with. It will be thick, hard, and not exactly comfortable padding!" Kyra's hand shot in the air at that. "What?"

"How can padding not be comfortable?"

"Hmm… you tell me!" Chris swung the giant q-tip like a baseball bat, hitting Kyra in the head with the giant padded ball on the end. She fell to the ground with a shrill scream. "Comfortable?"

"Not really." The immature girl jumped to her feet, only to find that Chris tossed her the q-tip. She barely caught it, but smiled when she did.

"Tortoises are the yellow sticks, deer the blue." Chris said. The campers all rushed to their respective racks. When they all had sticks, the campers turned to him.

"Okay, let's start Round One!" Chris shouted. The camera shifted to Chef Hatchet, who walked by wearing a tight red dress and ringing a bell. Several campers whistled. All of them laughed. "For this round, you'll choose who goes up for your team. Everyone has to go. Tortoises," Chris pointed to the team. "Since you guys are short one dudette, one of you has to go twice." Several members of the Tortoises groaned. "Any volunteers to go first?"

Silence rushed through the crowd. One voice, however, stepped up above the rest.

"I will." Bren stepped forward, holding his giant q-tip proudly.

"Tortoises?" a moment of silence rang until Tom stepped up.

He shrugged. "Why not?"

"Great!" Chris smiled. "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Bren: "Honestly, I think I will do well in this challenge." He said. "Bo staff is a part of my martial arts training. Giant q-tips work pretty much the same way."

Tom: "Hey, I had to go eventually. Since nobody else was going to go against Bren, why shouldn't I?" he gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "I mean, I'm not going against somebody like _Russell_ or something. I can't imagine the poor guy being all that strong. Oh, and those giant q-tips? They're actually called pugil sticks and they use them in military training."

Kestrel: "You know, I don't really mind drawing pictures of werewolves and vampires fighting," the artist says, "but people fighting? Especially with _me_? I'd rather have my head been eaten off by a giant man-eating mosquito-wolverine hybrid." He pauses for a minute and then looks nervously at the camera. "Chris doesn't have any of those, does he? Because I was just joking!"

Kyra: She is rubbing the side of her face where she was hit by the giant q-tip. A red mark has appeared on her cheek, and when she touches it with too much pressure she winces in pain. "That hurt!"

Aaron: "You know," the overeater says, "I'm pretty sure 'get ready to rumble' is wrestling, not gladiator shows. Actually, I'm _positive_ it's wrestling."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"And here's a recap of the challenge for you guys at home!" Chris said, pointing at the screen.

**The Name: **Total… Drama… GLADIATORS!!!

**The Place:** The _Official_ Camp Wawanakwa Dueling Trench

**The Weapons:** Giant Q-Tips

**The Goal:** Your team winning the majority of the duels in a round.

**The Rounds**

**Round One:** The teams get to choose who fights for their own team every duel, but everybody has to go.

**Round Two:** The opposite team gets to choose who fights for their competitors (ex. The Devious Deer can pick Daphne to fight for the Tremendous Tortoises and the Tremendous Tortoises can pick Corin to fight against her.) Not everybody has to go, but you can't pick the same person twice in a row.

**Round Three:** One person makes all the decisions: who wins, who loses, who goes up for each team. And who's that person? Chef Hatchet!

"And now a word from our sponsors!" Chris gives a million dollar smile to the camera and they cut to a sneaker ad.

* * *

**Yes, I know you're all still stuck on some gross mental images. What was it? Joe Freeman using the urinal? Betsy rapidly digging her hole? Chef Hatchet in a skimpy dress and wig? ****I know... I'm evil for mentioning it.**

**Oh, and a quick question for you guys that you can answer in a review (I might do more of these, some for fun, most for future chapter ideas): Which character do you think would be the _most likely_ to do a "Dear Diary" scene in the show where its told to the audience what they write in their journal?**

**Anyway, so will anything come of the Sienna/Irving/Carrie disagreement? Who will win the first duel: Tom or Bren? What will happen when the rounds get more complicated? You'll see in the next chapter!**


	8. Ep2, Pt2: The Great Canadian Gladiators

**Readers and Reviewers= Awesome. I think that just about covers it.**

**Anyways, to the point of my author's note for this chapter. Back in the first real chapter of this story (so probably like the third chapter) I had mentioned that I don't actually have an opening sequence. For the most part, I was just going to leave the sequence as "insert opening sequence here", though it was kind of annoying me. And suddenly, I open my inbox to find that Scalec has sent me a PM… and that they created a title sequence! So, I figured I'd post the awesome opening sequence here and give Scalec all the credit (though you guys get the credit for creating your OC's.). So here it is, the title sequence for Total Drama Island: Again!**

**As catchy music starts to play, a light on a stand pops up from the ground and shines, as does another one that leans out from behind a tree. The screen then flashes to a camera coming out of a bush which startled a rabbit in there, and then to another camera that pushes a squirrel off of a roof. Hands are shown shutting down a clapboard before revealing Camp Wawanakwa from above. The view is solid for a moment, but it then starts to spin and the camera speeds down.**

_**Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine**_

**When it gets to the very ground, it turns upward to show the crappy yellow plane hurtling towards the ground. Through the windshield you can see Lacey steering the plane, laughing evilly. You can see why as the plane suddenly levels off overhead and almost rams into Chef. Fortunately for him, he ducks to the ground and the plane continues on.**

_**You guys are on my mind**_

**The camera keeps zooming into the camp, showing Corina and Kyra on one of the cabin porches, each in a scientist outfit. Corina puts a drop of liquid into a bubbling container and the entire thing explodes. Kyra is smiling childishly as the camera pushes past her and the smoke into the cabin behind them.**

_**You asked me what I wanted to be**_

**Inside is Jolt, blasting music from a radio and rocking out to it with Joe Howlett and Blair. The view goes out the window and it's seen that Bren is trying to meditate on a stump in the woods, but Betsy runs past him excitedly knocking him off his seat.**

_**And now I think the answer is plain to see**_

**The camera runs from Betsy, and a flash of Jake and Jayna sitting up in a tree feeding the squirrels can be seen.**

_**I want to be famous**_

**A familiar waterfall top is shown, the grizzly bear sitting down to a feast of marshmallows and foiled chocolate candy with a golden gleam.**

_**I want to live close to the sun**_

**The camera continues on, and comes across an open field where Irving is kicking a soccer ball. The camera then swerves to see Sienna making her way towards Irving, but is stopped by both Tanya and Carrie, resulting in a major catfight between the three of them.**

_**Well, pack your bags 'cause I've already won**_

**The camera swerves again and shows Tom sitting in a bush several yards away and holding binoculars in his hand, watching the catfight. The reflection of the catfight can be seen in the lenses, and Tom then moves the binoculars to see Daphne sitting under a tree reading a book.**

_**Everything to prove nothing in my way**_

**The camera delves into the reflection and the actual Daphne is shown reading her book, her skin carefully guarded by the leaves and her big black sun hat.**

_**I'll get there one day**_

**The camera pulls out of the woods and heads towards the mess hall, where inside the kitchen Kit-Kat is seen pulling a cake out of the oven. With her is Aaron, who's licking the spoon that undoubtedly mixed the batter.**

**'**_**Cause I want to be famous**_

**The mess hall is occupied by Joe Freeman, Kestrel, and Russell, who have various comic books and pads of paper in their hands, obviously having some sort of meeting.**

_**Nanana'nananana nana nana**_

**The camera then glides out into the campgrounds and shows the seagull with the plastic soda can wrapper around its neck's form in a snake's body as it slithers by.**

_**I want to be, I want to be, I want to be famous**_

**Riley is shown nearby planting some sort of trap in the confessional cam, but as soon as he starts walking away Addy jumps him and scares the crap out of him. He frowns as Addy starts laughing.**

_**I want to be, I want to be; I want to be famous  
**_

**The camera zooms into his black shirt and then pulls out, revealing it has now gone from day to night. All of the campers are sitting around a campfire, and Morty is seen offering a flower to Haley, but her reaction is interrupted when Glisa jumps up next to the campfire and starts dancing. All of the campers clap to the beat made by her feet and whistle a tune.**

_**[Whistles to theme]**_

**The camera pools out and shows the Total Drama Island sign with Chris under it, whistling the same tune as the campers behind him. Chris gives the camera a wink before taking out a can of spray paint. He then turns and sprays underneath the TDI sign 'Again!'**

**The camera shuts off.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island, Scalec's opening sequence, or any of the characters in this story besides Lacey. I also do not own American Gladiators which I used as an inspiration for the title of this chapter and part of the challenge.**

* * *

**Chapter Six: The Great (And Not-So-Great) Canadian Gladiators**

The camera opens up to an aerial view of the Dueling Trench and then zoomed in on the scene unfolding. Standing on the tiny pieces of land hovering just above the pool of water was Bren, holding a blue Q-tip, and Tom, holding a yellow one. They had gotten onto the platforms via a wooden plank which rose and fell with the push of a button so they could walk across it. The non-battling campers gathered around the pit, cheering on their respective teammate. Chris was sitting nearby in a foldout lawn chair drinking a bright pink beverage with a lemon and tiny umbrella in it through a bendy straw, sitting back as if to be enjoying the show.

"Since this is the first duel of the day and all," Bren said to his dueling rival, "You want this to be won fair and square?"

"Oh, yeah, I was planning on it." Tom nodded. He knew he could win this fair and square anyway, though the martial artist would put up a tough challenge.

"Okay…" Chris said, taking the straw of his drink out of his mouth. "No need to fight fair, be as nasty as you want, trip your opponent for all I care, anything that makes good TV…" he took another sip of his drink and then pointed a finger at the two guys. "And… FIGHT!"

"C'mon Bren, you got this!"

"Hit him in the face! Hit him in the face!"

"Knock him into the pit! You can do it!"

"This is so wrong…"

"Bren, Bren, he's our man, if he can't do it no one can!"

"Let's go Tom, let's go!"

"You can win this, Tom!"

"Hit him where he doesn't want to get hit! He's not wearing a cup!"

"Riley!"

"Well, do you really think the guy wears a jockstrap 24/7?"

Focusing away from the other campers and onto the competitors, Bren and Tom had just swung the Q-tips at the same time and had connected stick to stick, both trying to fight each other off. Tom pulled back first and swung at Bren's feet, only for the martial artist to hop over the stick and attempt to strike his opponent in the shoulder. Tom moved away just in time, the padded tip of the weapon just grazing his shoulder.

"You're pretty good at this." Bren commented when Tom swung for his head, missing slightly.

"Beginner's luck?" Tom shrugged. "Well, the belt in karate and military help could help, too." He dodged a swing from the martial artist, and then struck back at him with an overhead drive. Bren backed up a bit and the padded tip whooshed past his face, almost catching his nose in the process. "Dang it, I thought that'd work. Either that or you'd bend backwards like in the Matrix or something."

Bren didn't respond to that, instead swung for Tom's stomach. Tom turned the stick sideways and blocked the blow at the last second, pushing it out and knocking Bren slightly off balance. Tom then swung for his feet, only to have Bren regain his balance and step on his stick.

"Crap…" Tom groaned as Bren swung at him, jerking him off balance and falling backwards into the water. The Deer cheered and everybody waited for Tom to resurface. To everybody's surprise, he hopped out of the water and grabbed onto the side of the pit, clawing his way up the side.

"What's wrong?" Kit-Kat called down to him.

"SHARKS!" Tom shouted, grabbing a rock and pulling his way up the side of the pit, digging his shoes into the dirt to use as footholds.

"Sharks?" All heads turned to Chris, who was laughing at the sight in front of him. When seeing all the campers facing him, he shrugged.

"Renewed their contract along with the bear. Two for one deal." The host took a sip of his fruity drink.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Bren: "I have to give Tom some credit," the martial artist said, "He put up a pretty good fight. Fortunately I'd caught him off guard and pushed him into the water, winning the victory. But still, he's got to get some credit for that."

Tom: "Sharks? Really?" he sighed. "First I get chased by a bear and now knocked into a pool of sharks? What is wrong with Chris Mclean?"

Chris: "You've got to appreciate two for one sales." The host says with a smile on his face. "Seriously, they said that if I renewed the bear's contract I could get a discount on the sharks'! Oh, and don't get me started on the deal I got on Sasquatchanakwa!"

Riley: "He should've hit him where he doesn't want to get hit." The prankster insisted. "That'd throw his off and he could hit him down into the trench. It's that easy! No guy wants to get hit in the di-" The camera cuts off to spare needing to censor him.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"So, the first duel goes to the Deer." The fruity drink sipping host pointed out the obvious. A logo of a blue deer's head popped up in the left hand corner of the screen and a number one appeared next to it. In the opposite corner of the screen, a picture of a yellow tortoise and a zero popped up. "Who's next?"

"Oh! I'll go!" all heads turned in surprise to Addy, who had stepped out of the lineup of Deer and was jumping up and down in excitement.

"Seriously?" Tanya questioned.

"Yeah." Addy nodded. "I've always wanted to hit somebody in the head with a giant Q-tipje."

"Ooookay…" Tanya turned away from the hyper girl, who'd started doing cartwheels while holding the stick in her mouth.

"Great!" Chris smiled. "Who else?"

Silence rang through the Tortoise until Kyra raised a hand. "Marmalade kitty quack quack!"

"What?"

"That was Kyranese for 'I'll do it'!"

"You will?" Glisa asked. "You do realize dat involves hitting another chica, _verdad_?"

"Glisa," Kyra said, "she pulled my hair. That's just wrong."

"You do realize you could fall into water filled with sharks, right?" Sienna asked the childlike girl, slightly more concerned about losing than Kyra getting eaten by sharks.

"We fall just so we can learn how to get back up." Kyra said, surprising everyone with her guru-esque theory.

"Can we just get on with this?" Chris asked, flinging his hands out and spilling a bit of his beverage in the process. He looked down to the spilled liquid and glared at it for a moment. "CHEF!!!"

After both reconsidering their decisions of standing up on those platforms (Addy because of the heights, Kyra because of the large body of water beneath her), Addy and Kyra stood face to face on the platforms swinging their giant Q-tips at each other, both ignoring their fears because they were having fun with what they were doing. Both were twirling and jumping while they did it, making it look like some kind of interpretive dance routine. Kyra was shouting random words out as they did so (claiming it was Kyranese) while Addy was laughing through the process. The other campers could only look on questionably. Nobody knew exactly what was going on.

"Spongebob, wizards, birdie, cookies!" Kyra shouted, twirling around in a ballerina-like fashion, her pole swinging at Addy.

"What does that mean?" Addy asked while ducking out of the way of Kyra's twirl and spinning her stick in return like a jump rope.

"It means 'bring it on'!" Kyra said, hopping over the weapon over and over until extending her stick out and lightly nudging Addy in the chest. "Poke!"

Both girls laughed at this as Addy extended her weapon and nudged Kyra in the torso. "Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"What are they _doing_?" Blair asked from her spot standing with the other campers.

"Poking each other?" Jake responded unsurely.

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Will you get on with it, already?!" Lacey shouted.

"Poke!"

"Poke!"

"Poke!" At this poke, Addy nudged the other girl a little too hard, sending her off balance. "Cradoodles!"

"Hey! That was too hard to be a poke!" Kyra shouted.

"Sorry!"

"That wasn't nice!" Kyra said, pushing her Q-tip at Addy with much more force that before. "POKE!"

"Hey!" Addy said, returning the jab.

Kyra just growled. "You know what?" she said venomously. She then jabbed her weapon at Addy with so much force it knocked her backwards, into the trench of sharks. She screamed the whole way down. Kyra just looked over the edge of the platform with a worried look on her face. "Sorry about that!"

"SHARKSJE!" Addy shouted, scrambling out of the pit in the same way that Tom had.

"Well," Chris said, raising up his sunglasses at the sight before him. "Score one for the Tortoises." The zero in the upper right hand corner turned into a one. "Who's next?"

The next few duels weren't quite as eventful as the first two had been.

Jolt and Jake had battled, though it wasn't all that interesting considering Jolt had his headphones on and had totally spaced out, allowing Jake to knock him into the water only several swings into the fight.

Blair and Glisa fought it out next, Glisa winning because her moves were more like dancing against Blair's more athletic motions, the Mexican girl's movements being much faster than the tomboy's. To celebrate her victory, Glisa let out a long_ grito_ (or a really long celebratory Mexican yell that I kind of think sounds like a battle cry).

Jayna dueled with Aaron next, awkwardly enough, the environmentalist pushing the overeater over the edge because of the fact that while he was much larger, she was much faster. She really hadn't wanted to get wet at that moment, and was very surprised when she pushed the much bigger male into the water, though the splash he made soaked her anyway.

Riley faced off with Joe Howlett in the next duel, Riley winning by hitting Joe in that sensitive spot where no guy wants to get hit. The prankster shrugged the victory off with an "I told you it'd work." The sharks hadn't attacked Joe in sympathy for him.

Tanya attempted to fight off Sienna in the next fight (in revenge for the cliff battle). The duel was long, Tanya commenting on every move Sienna made, and nobody was really sure who would win until the queen bee was flung off the edge of the platform and tumbled into the water quickly. The drama queen had beaten her by tripping her, though Sienna was calling out that she'd get her revenge the whole fall into the water.

When it came to Corina and Daphne (clad in a large brimmed hat to shade her from the sun), there was a minute's worth of nothing until Daphne explained it wasn't in her nature to hurt somebody and allowed the scientist to tap her over the edge rather boringly.

The real action came, however, when Haley sparred against Morty. The ladies' man was attempting not to hit the fun girl in any areas that could be quite sensitive to a girl (face, chest, anything between the waist and knees), while she was just trying to hit him anywhere. Fortunately for Morty, he was quite a bit shorter than the girl and could duck past most of her strikes, her Q-tip only skimming the tips of his hair. All hell broke loose, though, when Morty swung for Haley's arm and caught the edge of her tube top in the process.

Morty hadn't realized the bit of her top get caught underneath the padding of his weapon, and had pulled back quickly in order to hopefully swing for her again. When he pulled the weapon back, however, her top came with it. And unfortunately, Haley didn't wear a bra, exposing her bare chest to the viewing audience.

"Whoa!" Chris said, spitting out a bit of his beverage. "I didn't expect nudity this early in the season!"

Haley let out a girlish shriek while Morty just stared for a minute, until realizing what a pervert he looked like and quickly turning away as Haley put her arms over her chest. Unexpectedly, when Morty turned away (to attempt to look good for the ladies, none the less) he had stumbled backwards, falling off the edge of his little chunk of land and into the water with an embarrassed splash. Haley smiled at that, covering up her chest with her giant Q-tip and hands, though immediately blushed at the sight of the camera focused on her.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Russell: "My sister just flashed the entire viewing audience…" the comic book lover said with a humiliated expression on his face. "This is not happening…"

Riley: The prankster gave out a dumb sounding giggle as he lit up ear to ear with a grin. "Boobs…"

Jolt: The DJ gives a snigger just as the prankster had with a slightly dazed smile. "Boobs…"

Chris: Surprisingly enough, the host gives the same smile and laugh Jolt and Riley had. "Boobs…"

Tom: "Okay, so you're expecting me to laugh with a stupid look on my face and say 'Boobs…' right? Or how I wish I was Morty in that situation?" he asked. "Well, I don't wish I was Morty, because he'd fallen into the water_ because_ Haley's top came off. Not to say Haley's not hot… but I'd be pretty embarrassed to say I lost because some girl accidentally flashed me." He paused for a minute and then added, "Not that I'd mind a girl flashing me, though."

Morty: "How am I supposed to react to that?" the charmer asked the camera. "It's not every day you accidentally rip off the top of a girl who you barely even know while you're engaging with her in a battle with giant Q-tips above an enormous trench filled with water. It was unexpected. I panicked. For all of you laughing at home, let's see you handle a situation like that."

Haley: "What a bad time to not be wearing a bra…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

After Haley's unexpected victory and visit to the cabins to get a new top, the Deer were winning 5 to 4. The next duel was between Lacey and Kit-Kat, which Lacey won because of Kit-Kat's reluctance to hurt her, even though the nonconformist was notably shorter than the pastry chef.

Kestrel fought against Irving after that. Kestrel was ultimately pushed over the edge by the much more athletic Brit after a few moments of attempting to reenact his werewolf-vampire-Loch Ness monster fight drawings. In the end, though, the "Loch Ness monster tail swipe" was no match for the jock's fast swing with his giant Q-tip.

Carrie was up next against Glisa again. The party animal had been the one chosen to go twice because that even though physically Tom had been the best fighter, he had insisted he wouldn't fight a girl. Glisa seemed to be the fastest of the Tortoise girls and had won in her fight against Blair earlier, so the team automatically had her go against the British designer. Both girls seemed evenly matched surprisingly enough, even though Glisa moved much faster than Carrie, but eventually the British designer had the upper hand when the Mexican girl had leaned forward to swipe at her feet. Carrie had taken a step forward at the exact moment she'd leaned forward, and the high heel of her leather boot stepped right on top of Glisa's hand. The party animal quickly jerked backwards with a shriek and fell off the platform into the water.

The Deer were still winning 7 to 5 when the last two people stepped up to the platforms: Joe Freeman and Russell.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Riley: "Why do I have a feeling this is going to be _really_ boring? I mean _come on_! Joe versus that comic book kid? What're they gonna do? Beat each other to death with their knowledge of The Flash or something?"

Haley: "I have complete faith in Russell, honestly." She smiled at the camera. "Now, if he was against Tom or Irving or something... well, that probably wouldn't go well."

Lacey: "So, how'd it come down to Russell versus that kid that looks like Charlie Brown?" she asked. "I mean, what was the chance of that? Honestly, I think one of them will just give up after a couple minutes."

Sienna: "Well, if there was anybody I was expecting to lose a fight out of all of us Tortoises, it would have to be Joe. I mean, compared to the other guys on our team he's pretty weak… not to mention totally uncool while we're on the subject."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay and… FIGHT!" Chris shouted.

The comic artist and comic book guy instantly started swinging at each other, both surprising the crowd down below that they actually packed enough power to swing the stick that hard. The fight was actually pretty intense, though Russell seemed to have an upper hand because of his height. The tables turned, however, when Joe had flinched away from one of Russell's swings and swung his weapon on instinct, hitting Russell in the process. Russell was flung backwards, towards the edge of the small platform and flew over the edge of the platform into the water, shouting a loud "Dang it!" in the process.

"Okay," Chris said, "And with that, the Deer are still ahead 7 to 6. But no need to worry! We're moving on to Round Two!" He pointed over at Chef, who walked out in his extremely form-fitting crimson dress and rang the bell once again with a humiliated expression on his face. "Thank you, Chef!"

"This is not in my contract, pretty boy!" Chef snarled back at him.

"Check again, dude!" Chris smiled.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Chef: The muscular man is seen wearing a pair of reading glasses and flipping through a stack of papers, scanning each one before flipping to the next. He stops on one and reads in aloud with an irritated expression on his face. "You will comply with wearing any outfit that Chris Mclean requires you to wear for the challenges… he is paying us a large sum for us to put this in your contract… please initial below...?" He looks up at the camera and grits his teeth. "Damn it!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"In Round Two, you guys get to pick who goes up for the _other_ team!" Chris explained to the campers. "So Deer, you get to pick who the Tortoise send up there, and Tortoise, you get to pick who the Deer send up there. You can't pick the same person twice, yadda yadda yadda, all that legal junk. Got it?" Several nods. "Since the Deer are winning, the Tremendous Tortoises get to pick first."

The Tortoises huddled up and whispering could be heard, leaving the others waiting for their decision. Jake came out with their verdict.

"We choose Corin!"

"Me?" the scientist asked, pointing to herself questionably. The Tortoises all nodded. "What an interesting outcome…" She pulled a miniature notepad out of her pocket and scribbled something down.

"Devious Deer?" Chris turned to the team, who were already huddling up. Jayna stepped up with the answer.

"Daphne!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Daphne: "Honestly, I saw that coming." The aristocrat said. "It was either me or Kathleen, and when we picked Corin I knew they'd pick me."

Corin: "Judging by the odds of who won and who lost in the previous round, I knew I was one of the contestants that the Tortoises would pick to fight this time." The scientist said, holding out her notebook in front of her. "However, I thought they would choose me to go later in the round since they can't pick me twice in a row."

Riley: "I was kind of hoping we would choose Haley to go again, but instead they chose Corin." The prankster snorted. "We're not gonna see more shirts getting ripped off if they keep choosing the cautious girls."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay…" Chris pointed at the Dueling Trench when the girls seemed set. "FIGHT!"

Instead of giving up immediately like the last time, Daphne lightly swung her giant Q-tip at the other girl, just barely tapping her in the shin. Corin raised an eyebrow at this pathetic attempt and gently nudged the other girl off the platform and into the water quite uneventfully.

"And that's victory for the Deer!" Chris shouted as the 7 beside the blue deer head turned to an 8. "Deer, since the Tortoises picked first last time, who do you choose?"

There was another group huddle until Tanya came out with their answer.

"Kit-Kat!"

"Good choice!" Chris said, not really caring over if it was a good choice or not. "Tortoises?"

Another group huddle (with Riley's voice rising above the rest with a whiny "Please, please, please, please, please pick Haley!") until Joe Freeman said their decision.

"Jolt!"

"Oh, a good old boys versus girls." Chris nodded in approval as the pastry chef and disk jockey walked up to the platforms. Kit-Kat stood with her Q-tip protecting her face, while Jolt had his headphones on and was dancing around mindlessly. "Okay… FIGHT!"

"Um, Jolt?" Kit-Kat said to her opponent, who was spinning in mindless circles and swinging his head around to the beat. "The fight started." The DJ just kept on dancing. "Jolt?" His headphones were obviously too loud to hear her voice, as you could hear the buzzing of the music from where Kit-Kat was standing. "Jolt? Hello?" No reaction. Kit-Kat shrugged and stretched her weapon over the short distance between the two platforms, gently tapping Jolt's side. With this gentle tap, Jolt danced himself over the edge of the platform, falling into the water.

"Tortoises win!" Chris shouted, the 6 beside the yellow tortoise in the right hand corner changing to a 7. "Now who's up next?"

The next several fights went on similar to the first two. Daphne versus Corin, Daphne not wanting to fight, and somebody versus Jolt, who was too entranced in his music to fight. The score totaled out to the Deer winning 12 to 11.

"Okay and we're down to the last two duels for this round." Chris said, picking the lemon out of his glass and squeezing it into his drink. "Deer, who do you choose?"

"We choose Daphne." Blair spoke up for the team almost instantly, the albino girl sighing almost angrily at the choice.

"Big surprise there…" Chris rolled his eyes. "Tortoises?"

"Corin."

"Are you guys _trying_ to make me cut to a commercial break because these next two fights will be completely boring?" the host asked as the scientist and aristocrat stepped across the wooden planks and onto the platforms. Nobody saw it from down below, but Daphne was actually looking really agitated at being up there again.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Daphne: "I was just getting annoyed at the Deer picking me to go up to fight every single time I could." She said, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, "I mean, there were plenty of other people on our team they could pick who didn't exactly fight well. Why did they have to pick on me?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"And…" Chris yawned before saying. "Fight."

To everybody's surprise, Daphne swung the weapon like a baseball bat with all her strength at Corin, who flew over the edge almost immediately on impact. Jaws dropped from both teams.

"Oh gosh…" Daphne said, her eyes widening at realizing what she'd just done. She leaned over the edge of the platform to look down in the water at where the scientist had just fallen. "Sorry Corin!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Daphne: "Now that I think back on it, I kind of wish I hadn't done that to poor Corin." The aristocrat confessed. "If it was somebody who deserved it, though, then maybe I wouldn't regret it as much."

**

* * *

**

End Confession Cam

The Tremendous Tortoises were cheering when Daphne walked back to join them, the score changing to a tied up 12 to 12.

"I didn't think you had it in you!" Tom congratulated her.

"Yosh yosh! That was totally awesome!" Kyra giggled.

"I thought you were the nonviolent type." Kit-Kat said.

"Do you play baseball or something?" Aaron asked.

"Okay, okay, you guys still haven't won yet!" Chris said to the happy team. "Who do you choose?"

The group huddled up.

"Let's just choose Jolt again," Morty whispered. "It makes sense."

"Can we choose Haley?" Riley asked.

"If we choose Jolt we'll be ahead for the next round." Jake pointed out.

"Can we _please_ choose Haley?" Riley whined.

"Jolt's definitely not going to fight back." Joe Freeman agreed with the group.

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please-"

"Shut up, Riley!" Sienna sneered.

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please-"

"We're not choosing Haley because you just want to see her chest!" Irving told the prankster. "That's just kind of weird!"

"_Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please_-"

"NO!!!" the whole group shouted at once.

"Jolt, then?" Tom asked. Everybody but Riley nodded and Tom stepped out of the group. "We choose-"

"HALEY!!!" Riley shouted out.

"No!" screamed the rest of the team.

"Haley it is!" Chris said, much to the Tortoises dismay (and Riley's enjoyment.) "Deer, who's your pick?"

A group huddle ensued until Tanya spoke up with a smirk, "We choose Riley!"

"What?!" the Tremendous Tortoises shouted.

"Really?" Riley smiled, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. The Devious Deer just nodded at this.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Howlett: "See, we chose Riley because judging from when I was up against him and what he's been shouting to his teammates, his strategy is just to hit the dude where it hurts." The movie geek said. "So if we put him against a _girl_…"

Haley: "My top will _not_ be coming off this time around! I'll be guarding it with my life!"

Riley: He has an ear-to-ear grin across his face and his eyes are big and watery. He's practically glowing with excitement. "This is a dream come true!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, FIGHT!" Haley stood with her stick firmly guarding her chest while Riley attempted to swing for that very area.

"C'mon Haley! Just move your giant Q-tip!" he shouted as he kept swinging the stick at her chest, her giant Q-tip protecting her.

"No!"

"Please!"

"No!"

"Please?"

'I said no!" With that random burst of anger, Haley pushed her weapon outward, sending Riley flying back with it. Riley fell into the pit with a loud cry of defeat, obviously disappointed he wouldn't be flashed.

"And the Deer win Round Two with a score of 13 to 12!" Chris smiled. "Now moving on to Round Three!" The camera turned to where Chef was seen walking out in the dress in the past two rounds only to find it empty. The camera turned back to Chris who shrugs in response. Suddenly, Chef popped up in front of the camera with a furious expression on his face.

"I ain't wearin' a dress for _my _round no matter what pretty boy says!" he shouted at the camera. He's standing so close that a piece of a vegetable can be seen in the gap between his front teeth.

"_Your_ round?" some of the campers questioned.

"Yes, _my_ round!" Chef shouted at them, the camera man sighing in relief that he'd turned away from the camera. "I get to choose who goes up, who's the loser, and who's the winner, ya hear me?!" Silence. "That should've been answered with a 'Yes sir, Chef Hatchet sir'!"

"Yes sir, Chef Hatchet sir!"

"Good." The large man walked over to the lawn chair Chris was sitting in. Chris raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?"

"This is _my_ round, so that's _my_ chair!"

"Who says?"

"_I_ SAY!" Chef shouted, Chris hair blowing back at the force from his scream.

"Okay, okay, just don't get any of that stuff flying from your mouth in my hair!" Chris quickly hopped away from Chef, who plopped himself into the chair and started to sip the fruity drink.

"Okay, maggots!" Chef shouted to the two teams lined up before him. "For the first duel, I wanna see the little guy-"

"Hey!" Morty shouted when the large man's finger pointed at him.

"-beat the snot outta fairy boy." His finger pointed at Kestrel, who was looking at the sky. Addy nudged him in the ribs and he looked up at Chef Hatchet looking a bit scared.

"Sorry, were you talking to me?" he asked.

"GET UP THERE!"

* * *

As Chef had predicted, Morty ended up beating the snot out of Kestrel (though not literally considering the artist insisted he wiped his nose that morning) evening out the score once again. Several duels followed that.

There was "big guy" versus "ninja guy", or Aaron versus Bren, which Bren ended up winning with his sweet sparring skills.

Next there was "British girl" versus "snobby girl", or Carrie versus Sienna, which Sienna won because she was still a little angry over losing to Tanya.

Then, there was "Charlie Brown" versus "that dude who talks like a girl", which turned out to be Joe Freeman versus Blair (who had to explain to the chef that she actually _was_ a girl). Blair won that round.

One of the strangest duels so far, however, was when Chef put "the Mexican girl" against "that girl I don't like", which turned out to be Glisa versus Lacey. The party animal and rebel got up on the platforms and turned to Chef to wait for him to say go.

"Mexican girl wins!" Chef shouted.

"What?!" Lacey screamed.

"I said you lose!"

"We didn't even start yet!"

"You lose! Get down there and have that guy who got hit in the crotch earlier take your place!"

"Wait, so I won?" Glisa asked.

"Yeah, and I want nature boy up there instead of you."

The score was 15 to 15 when Joe Howlett and Jake battled, Jake winning because Joe had tripped over his own two feet and fallen backwards. Corin and Kit-Kat dueled after that, Corin winning and tying up the score once again. That was when Chef announced that he was getting bored of the game and that there'd be three more duels left before somebody was declared the winner.

The first of the final duels was nothing special, Jolt versus Riley, Riley winning by pushing the still dancing Jolt off of the side.

The second, however, was what really caused the excitement: Russell versus Irving.

The comic book fan and British jock stepped up to their platforms, the Devious Deer had lost all hope. Gangly Russell didn't stand a chance against athletically built Irving. When Chef screamed "FIGHT!" the Deer could only hope that Russell wasn't hurt too badly by the sharks.

The fight was actually going pretty smoothly, though, with Russell actually blocking Irving's swings and swinging back at them. The fight seemingly ended, however, when Irving knocked Russell over the edge of the platform. Irving put his arms up in victory for the Tortoises considering even if they did do another fight the Deer couldn't win. The Tortoises cheered… until Irving fell into water with a splash.

See, Russell had been knocked into the pit… he just never had a chance to hit the water. He'd actually grabbed onto the side of his platform with his hand and held on for a minute, put his weapon in his teeth, and pulled himself up onto the platform. While Irving was turned the opposite way, he swung with all his might at the jock, flinging him over the side.

The Deer erupted in loud cheers.

"Woo! Yeah Russell!" Blair shouted.

"I knew you could do it, Russell!" Haley smiled at her brother.

"Yeah, man!" Kestrel applauded.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Haley: "I had total faith in my brother all along," she said with a smile on her face. "I'd seen him fantasizing about being a warrior in the backyard before, so I figured he'd be able to take Irving… if Irving was tired or something, that is."

Irving: "The bloke hit me when I was off guard." He pointed out the obvious. "I really thought I had won. Guess I should've paid more attention."

Russell: "I honestly didn't think I would win." he said, adjusting his glasses. "But when I caught myself on that fall, I suddenly had faith in myself and pulled myself back up. Irving never saw it coming!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

The score was all tied up 16 to 16 when Chef called the final two duelers out to the platforms: Tom and Bren again. They were the first, and they were the last. It was all up to who seemed to be the strongest two competitors in this challenge to determine the winner.

"And… FIGHT!"

Tom and Bren swung at each other with a good deal of their strength, both energized from not fighting in so long. Both were dodging and hitting like mad, obviously wanting the victory for their teams. At first there was a close call when Bren had jerked to the side and almost fallen off the platform, but he regained his balance and pulled his giant Q-tip back, swiping at Tom again. Tom leaned far to his left and practically fell as well, though he wasn't giving up that easily. He swung at Bren while leaning to the right to center out his balance and struck the martial artist between the neck and shoulder. Bren swung and struck Tom in the stomach, but Tom swung one more time and his him square in the chest. The martial artist flew backwards, landing in the shark-filled drench below them.

"And the Tremendous Tortoises win!" Chris shouted from his position a safe distance from Chef. "Devious Deer, you know what that means." He turned to the team, who looked glum. "Campfire Ceremony tonight!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Bren: "I can't believe that I lost." the martial artist said. "Tom clearly is a worthy opponent."

Tom: "I actually beat the only guy who actually knew what he was doing in this challenge!" he smiled. "Wow!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Night came quick for the tired campers and the stars were bright, though the moon was hidden behind the trees. The fire blazed as the Devious Deer milled into the ceremony and sat on the stumps and logs beside the fire pit. Chris Mclean stepped forward when they seemed settled, holding a tray of marshmallows in his hand.

"Welcome, Devious Deer, to your first Marshmallow Ceremony." Chris said, taking on a solemn tone. "Here, you will be trying to get one of these." He picked up a marshmallow and held it ceremoniously in the air.

"A marshmallow?" Addy asked when the host didn't speak.

Chris scoffed. "Dude! You ruined my dramatic moment of silence!"

"Sorry!"

"Anyways," Chris took on his serious tone once more, putting the marshmallow back down. "Here, marshmallows are not only tasty snacks, but they represent _life_. There are 13 of you… and only 12 marshmallows on this plate."

"Wait, so that means that…" Jolt counted off on his fingers. "Fifteen of us will be going home?"

"Try _one_, genius." Corina said to the disk jockey.

"Right… right…"

"If you do not get one of these marshmallows tonight," Chris continued, "you will be voted off the island. When you're voted off you'll have to walk down the Dock of Shame and into the Boat of Losers, where you will leave Camp Wawanakwa. And you can't come back. E_ver_."

"Betsy came back." Tanya pointed out.

Chris raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"You said you can't come back ever. That's not ever. That's one morning later." The drama queen persisted.

"Do you _have_ to ruin my fun, bra?" Chris asked.

"Yes. Yes I do." Tanya nodded. "Your fun was inaccurate."

"Ugh, let's just get to votes already!" Chris picked a marshmallow off of the plate. "The marshmallows go to…" the dramatic music started up. "Corin. Carrie. Kestrel." The scientist, designer, and artist got up and got their marshmallows. "Joe Howlett. Bren. Russell." He took another pause. "Jayna. Lacey. Tanya." He tossed the marshmallows and picked up two more. "Blair and Addy."

"Yes!" Blair pumped her fist.

"There is one marshmallows left…" Chris said, holding up said marshmallows, "and two of you." He pointed to the two people left on the stumps: Haley and Jolt.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Carrie: "Considering your performance in the last challenge was all that great," the British girl said, "I think you deserve this vote."

Blair: "I was disappointed when you got up there on that platform. It was pretty pathetic, actually."

Kestrel: "I thought you'd fight like some kind of Smorterian Sling Bat when we were fight…" the artist said. "But Smorterian Sling Bat you were not…"

Jayna: "I think you deserve this vote. What you were doing up there on that little platform? It wasn't good."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Chris held the marshmallow out in front of him, staring at both Jolt and Haley. "The last marshmallow of the night goes to..."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Haley."

"That's a relief." Haley said, getting up and accepting her marshmallow from the host with a smile.

"Sorry, bro," Chris said to Jolt, "but I was right al along. Good looks _are_ much better than sweet dance moves."

Jolt walked down the Dock of Shame and onto the Boat of Losers as his team waved goodbye to him. As soon as he got on the boat, he looked around.

"You guys got a radio on this thing?" he asked as the boat drove away.

Chris looked at the team. "And so, the teams are even again. Who will get voted off next?" He then turned to the camera. "I guess you'll have to see on the next episode of Total Drama Island: Again!"

**

* * *

**

That chapter was _long. _The worst part about it being long, though, was that it wasn't even that good. I suck at action scenes, if you can't already tell, so the jousting wasn't all that easy for me to write.

**Okay, so in my opinion, the fifth challenge will be a funny one, but I have to get past two more challenges to get to that one. So, my readers' influence on the story: I'm gong to bring back an old favorite to the competition... which would you prefer I bring back next? The talent show or the cook-off?**

**And another question, just for fun: Are there any campers in this story that really remind you of campers from the original Total Drama Island. For example, I found that Joe Howlett reminded me of a geekier version of Trent, with the fact that he's really laid back and stuff, but he's clumsy so he gets hurt a lot. Another example is that I found Riley to remind me a bit of Eva of how impulsive they both are (Eva with her anger, Riley with his rudeness). Are there any campers you can think of that remind you of past campers?**

**Questions? Comments? Requests? Concerns? Submit it in a review!**


	9. Ep3, Pt1: Talent Doesn't Come in Packs

**Excuse me… did I see that number right? 110 reviews?! I totally have the same look that Riley had on his face last chapter when Haley's top was knocked off. 110 reviews? Really? Wow…**

**Anyways, writing chapters for this story is just so easy for me it's weird. I guess it's because there's lots of characters and a broad spectrum (oh yes, I used arty words on you) of personalities to work with. That and I love dialogue, so with so many characters it's just interactions all around.**

**So, the Talent Show won the vote that you guys had, and even though it's been used so many times, I'm going to write it. I figured there'd be a lot of people talking to each other on the side. And can you imagine what half of these peoples' talents are?**

**Disclaimer: Let's see… what don't I own? *Counts off on fingers* Well, there's Total Drama Island, Chris, Chef, Camp Wawanakwa, the seagull with the soda rings around his neck, your awesome OC's, the song "U + Ur Hand" by P!nk, the bands Nirvana and The Rolling Stones (which are both mentioned later in the chapter), "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry (also briefly mentioned)… maybe I should have named what I do own instead.**

**Well, I do own Lacey, any of Lacey's spoofs, and John the helicopter guy if that counts for anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Talented People Don't Come in Packs**

"Have I ever mentioned that you can be an embarrassment sometimes, Haley?"

"You love me and you know it."

"Even if I didn't, I'm still stuck with you."

"Isn't sharing the same parents great, Russell?"

It was night time now, and most people were either in the cabins, wandering around conversing, or in the washrooms getting dressed or brushing their teeth or doing their business. The Higgins siblings were on the porch of the Deer cabin, talking like regular old siblings. Russell happened to be a lot more social around his sister and was sitting on the stairs reading a Justice League comic, talking to her as she leaned against the slightly unsteady porch railing.

"You realize your chest will be talked about all around the school when we get home, right?"

"Hey, I won the fight, right?" Haley giggled, looking across to the Tortoise cabin.

"You flashed the entire viewing audience."

"It was strategy, you know?" Haley watched as Riley stepped onto the porch of the Tortoises' cabin coming from the bathrooms carrying some strange items in his hands. "Morty was going to beat me, so then I purposefully moved so that he could rip off my shirt. No guy can resist a girl's chest, right?"

"You are such a bad liar."

"I knew you wouldn't be convinced." Haley watched as Riley stood on his toes and slowly lifted a bucket to rest above the door to the girls' side of the Tortoises' cabin. She could see water sloshing around inside the bucket, which explained why he lifted it so slowly.

"That Riley guy seemed to be pretty impressed after that little stunt." Russell remarked, obviously not noticing that his sister was watching said prankster right now.

"Uh huh." Haley replied, watching as Riley stepped down from the porch and crouched over, pulling several weeds and clumps of dirt from the ground below him.

"You're fine with that?"

"Well, not completely…" Riley hopped back onto the porch and threw the handfuls of plant life and dirt into the bucket, snickering as he did. When he snickered, that was when he noticed Haley watching him. "But he's kind of cute."

"He's obviously some kind of perv."

"No, Tom's the perv." Haley smiled at Riley and wiggled her fingers at him in a flirty wave. He smiled and waved back.

"I don't know. Tom seems like a pretty nice guy compared to Riley."

"Hey, enough about Riley, let's talk about you." She watched as the prankster walked waited by the door he'd just booby trapped and gave her a wink as he leaned against the cabin. "Any ladies you've set your eyes on?"

"No, not really." Russell flipped a page in his comic casually.

"Come on, there's a whole twelve girls left on this island not counting me. There's got to be at least one."

"Nope. Not yet."

"Give them time, then." Haley saw Riley look to her and then gesture towards the door he had booby trapped with a smirk on his face. She watched the door as it opened and the bucket of water and sludge was dumped on the head of his unsuspecting victim: Daphne. Riley burst out laughing as the aristocratic girl found herself soaked and covered in mud, and Haley found herself suppressing a giggle. Daphne just walked past him towards the bathrooms with a "that totally figures" expression on her face.

"What are you laughing at?" Russell turned his head to look at his sister, only to see her looking at the opposite cabin. He looked the same way that she was and his jaw dropped at the sight. "Haley!"

"What? I didn't do it!"

"How can you be laughing at that? Daphne didn't deserve it!"

Haley watched as Tom emerged from the boys' door of the cabin and started talking to Riley. There was a lot of pointing to Daphne as she walked into the communal bathroom and several different expressions on Tom's face. After a moment, Tom found himself walking after Daphne. "It was just a joke, Russ, lighten up."

Her brother had a scowl on his face when he heard his sister say that. "You know, that's what the girl who'd burned my comics said." He then got up from the stair and went back into the cabin, soon emerging with his pajamas in hand. He walked right past his sister, obvious disappointed in her.

Haley could only feel a bit guilty about that. She knew exactly what he was talking about.

**

* * *

**

**Confession Cam**

Daphne: She is in her pajamas while her hair is wrapped in a towel, one loose piece of white hanging from the side, dripping wet. No doubt she just came out of the shower. "I'm pretty convinced that Riley has a thing for picking on the people that don't ever intend on speaking to him." She attempts to tuck the stray piece of hair into the towel. "Unfortunately, I'm one of those people."

Haley: "Okay, don't tell anybody this, but I think that Riley is really cute." She smiles at the camera. "I mean, did you see him wink at me? He's not cute… no, that sounds too nice. He's cute in a bad boy sense of the word, so he's hot!" She thinks for a moment over the word. "Yeah. Hot."

Russell: "Why do I get the feeling that my sister said something embarrassing to the camera right before I got in here?" he sighs.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Jake, Blair, and Joe Howlett were lined up at the sinks doing various bathroom things when Jayna came bursting in through the door.

"You will never guess what I just saw!" the environmentalist shouted to the people before her, a worried expression on her face. "It's horrible!!!"

"Was it my secret thing that I have stashed behind the cabins hoping nobody would find it?" Blair asked sarcastically as she ran her hands under the water in the sink.

"I don't think so, but it might be if your secret thing is disgusting atrocious!" Jayna said. "What does this secret thing look like?"

"If I told you that, it wouldn't be a secret, would it?"

"I'm serious, though!" Jayna shouted, realizing that Blair was kidding. "You'll never guess what it was!"

"It depends how many guesses I have…" Joe Howlett muttered through a toothpaste filled mouth.

"Was it environmentally friendly?" Jake asked, squirting a glob of soap into his hand.

"Not at all!" Jayna shouted.

Jake's eyes widened at that. "Show me it!"

"Okay, come on!" the dirty blonde haired girl walked up to Jake and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him behind her as she exited the bathroom. Joe Howlett and Blair just ignored their urgency and figured it was a worm in need of help or something environmental like that.

"What is this 'thing'?" Jake asked, very aware of Jayna's death grip on his wrist. He could swear his hand was turning purple.

"Oh, it's too horrible to mention! You have to see it to understand its horribleness!" Jayna replied, pulling Jake along. She ran towards the docks and gasped when she saw what she was looking for. She let go of him and pointed in the direction of the horrible thing. "It's still here! Oh my gosh, it's still here! The poor creature!"

Jake found himself standing in front of what could be described as just a thing in other peoples' eyes, though to two nature-aware people like he and Jayna it really _was_ a horrible sight.

It was a seagull with its head stuck in a set of plastic soda can rings.

"Isn't it horrible?!" Jayna asked. The bird blinked at her in response.

"We can help the poor bird!" Jake said, a bit shocked about Jayna's crazed and worried attitude towards the animal.

"Yes! Yes, that's a great idea!" This was a girl he could get used to being around. Too bad they were on separate teams.

Jake walked up to the seagull and crouched down beside it, surprised it didn't run away from him. It must have been the loss of blood flow to its head since the rings were wound so tight around its neck. He gently put two hands on the soda ring that was caught around its neck and stretched the plastic out, lifting it over the bird's head. The bird looked at him indifferently.

"You did it!" Jayna said, kneeling next to Jake on the ground. She put a hand on the back of the bird's head and attempted to get the bird to tilt its head a little. The seagull obliged... man it had suffered some brain damage. "Look at the marks on its neck." She pointed to where the soda wrapper had been wrapped around the seagull's neck. The feathers had stopped growing in there. "The wrapper must have been on there forever!"

"Poor bird." Jake said. "I think we should leave it alone now. Let it get used to being able to breathe right."

Jayna took her hands off the bird and the two nature lovers got off of the ground and backed a safe distance away from it, watching as it watched them confusedly. The bird seemed cross eyed.

"I think the seagull might be brain dead…" Jake said after a minute.

"What?" she asked.

"Just look at it. It's just staring at us."

"Now that you mention it, one of its legs did seem to be longer than the other…"

"And it blinks only one eye at a time."

"Really? I haven't even seen in blink yet!"

The pair just looked at the seagull with slightly appalled looks now that they'd come to a realization.

"I say we just slowly back away."

"Good idea." And with that, the pair backed away from the bird, a little freaked out that the seagull was still watching them.

* * *

Most of the campers were asleep for the morning, spare an insomniac here or there, and were sleeping soundly, all tired from the day before. Battling above a pit of sharks with nothing to defend yourself but a giant Q-tip really took some energy out of a teenager. Just when they thought nothing could compare to yesterday's rude awakening a strange sound started approaching them.

Several campers awoke and attempted to identify the sound which could only be described as a whirring sound… an extremely _loud_ whirring sound. Suddenly a voice was added to the sound.

"Special delivery for Morty Oawn!"

All eyes in the male side of the Tortoise cabin found themselves on their short roommate.

"Finally!" He smiled.

"What's this all about, mate?" Irving asked from the bunk above Morty, leaning over the edge to see the dark haired boy climb out of bed and walk towards the door.

"I thought they'd never come!" Morty exclaimed, not even realizing he didn't answer Irving's question. He opened the cabin door and stepped out onto the porch to look up at his personal delivery system.

Flying above Morty was a helicopter, and a man with a megaphone looked down at him from an open door. The man was holding a package.

"There you are, Morty!" the man shouted through the megaphone with an obvious Australian accent. "Your parents sent these." He let go of the package and let it drop to the ground, landing just in front of the Tortoises' porch.

Morty rushed out to get his package and looked at the address on it. He looked back up to the man with a smile. "Thank you, John!"

"No problem!" the man said as the helicopter started to fly away, the blades making that whirring sound they all heard.

Morty picked up his package and turned around, only to be faced with his Tremendous Tortoise teammates, all with confused and groggy looks on their faces.

"What was dat?" Glisa asked him, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Better yet, what's in the box?" Sienna questioned, pulling her sleep eye mask up into her hair.

"Oh, my clothes." Morty smiled. "I only packed two days' worth of clothing."

"What?!"

"Well, see my mom's an author, and that guy in the helicopter, John, he owns a company where people can buy rides in helicopters and fly over some cool places." Morty started to explain. "John's wife is a fan of my mom's, so when she had lunch with her and signed a couple books, John said he owed her. And this is how he repaid her."

"By delivering clothing to you?" Aaron asked.

"Well, I'm not going to wear clothing I've already worn before." Morty said, sneering at the thought of that. "And I can't pack 30 something pairs of clothing in one suitcase. We just figured this would be easier."

"Easier?" Jake asked. "You woke us and the Deer up!" He pointed to the cabin across from them, where the Devious Deer were standing on the porch trying to figure out what the heck was going on.

"Well, it could've been worse. What if-" All heads turned when a large dump truck backed up in reverse towards the cabins, making a very obnoxious beeping noise as it did. The back of the truck was filled with rocks, all large and shaped into strange corners and angles. The truck stopped when it got closer to the campers and the one and only Chris Mclean hopped out of the driver's seat.

"Why are you all awake?!" he shouted at both teams. All fingers pointed to Morty, who smiled sheepishly.

"Special delivery." The dark skinned teen explained.

"Aw, man!" Chris stomped his foot on the ground. "I was going to drop all these rocks outside your cabins to wake you up!" He crossed his arms and put out his lower lip almost as if he was pouting. "You're no fun! Go change and go to breakfast."

* * *

The campers entered the Mess Hall and waited in line for their daily gruel, only to be greeted with stiff black rectangles and a blob of yellow ooze.

"What exactly are these?" Kit-Kat asked as two rectangles and a blob of ooze were dropped onto her plate, the ooze jiggling with the motion.

"Toast and scrambled eggs." Chef answered. Kit-Kat looked unconvinced.

Morty stepped up to the cook in his new clothing: a casual-looking blue shirt with a collar with a thin white long sleeved shirt underneath, a pair of jeans, and a pair of white sneakers with blue stripes down the side. Every item looked very clean and stylish.

"So, how long did you cook these eggs?" he asked Chef, staring at the gelatinous yellow goop that was just scooped onto his plate.

"Overnight." Chef Hatchet responded.

"Is that safe?"

"I'm not the one eating them."

"Oh…" Morty walked away before the man could disgust him anymore as the next camper in line got their food.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kit-Kat: "I wonder how Chef would react if I offered to help him out with his cooking…" the pastry chef considered. "I mean, he let DJ help him out at times when he was on the show. Sure, he might attempt to rip my head off and claim I was insulting his cooking, but it could be worth a shot." She shrugs with a slightly scared smile.

Morty: "Last time I checked eggs were more flat than rounded…" he grimaces at the thought. "I also thought they were more lifeless than gelatinous… and more plain than sticky…" he shudders at the thought.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

As the campers attempted to eat their "food", Chris burst through the door with a smile.

"Campers!" he shouted, most people not bothering to turn to him. "Raise your hand if you saw the original season of Total Drama Island." A lot of the hands in the room went up. "Raise your hand if you saw the episode where Gwen read Heather's diary to the entire world." A couple of the hands that were already up went down. "Raise your hand if you remember the challenge from that episode." Several hands that were up went down, but several that were already down went up. "Hey, you can't put your hand back up again after you put it down!"

"So, what does this have to do with anything?" Carrie asked the host.

"Well, today's challenge is…" Chef drum rolled on some of the pots in the kitchen. "Revenge of the Talent Show!" Several people in the room groaned, while others smiled.

"You will have eight hours starting after breakfast is done to choose your three most talented campers." Chris explained. "The rest will be explained tonight at the stage." He smiles sadistically and then says, "Have fun," and walks off.

"Where's he going?" Kestrel asked.

"To his trailer to eat real food." Chef responded.

"He doesn't have to eat the same food we do."

"Nope."

"Oh."

"I hate that guy."

**

* * *

**

Deer

"Okay, so I know some of you girls will disagree with me because of our little experience in the first challenge, but I think that I would be a really good judge of talent for this challenge." The Devious Deer were sitting in various spots on the stairs and porch to their cabin while Tanya stood on the ground in front of them, stating her argument. "I am very good when it comes to things that involve making films, and I think I can help out with all of the performances we choose and rate which of you is the best."

A wave of chatter erupted through the Devious Deer.

"You know, she has a point." Jayna said. "She does seem to be the pickiest person on the team."

"I think she would be a fair judge." Bren nodded.

"It's not like she'll go Heather on us." Blair agreed.

After a slight discussion, the group turned back to Tanya and nodded in approval.

"Okay." Tanya smiled. "Who's first?"

**

* * *

**

Tortoises

After a couple minutes of arguing throughout the team, Daphne, Sienna, and Morty had been elected the judges for the Tremendous Tortoises. Daphne had been elected because she was raised in an upper-class family and would most likely have very good judgment on what was just plain old stupid and what could pass as an interesting talent. Sienna was chosen because of her ability to voice her opinions, so she'd be brutally honest about her choices. Morty was voted for by the male population of the team, who insisted they needed a guy up there to be fair. Morty claimed he was a good listener, so they chose him in the end.

The three judges sat on one side of a picnic table that was set up in back of the cabins, while several of their teammates lined up in front of them to show off their talents.

The first teammate who decided to attempt to show off was Kit-Kat, who put a handful of food ingredients and a couple of bowls, measuring cups, and spoons on the picnic table in front of the judges.

"My talent is that I will make cheesecake in less than three minutes." The chef explained. "It's a special non-cook recipe so I don't have to waste time putting it in the oven."

"Two minutes?" Daphne repeated questionably.

"Does anybody have a stop watch?" Morty asked the crowd of campers behind Kit-Kat. Joe Freeman dug through his sweatshirt pocket until pulling out a stop watch, which he chucked to Morty. Morty fiddled around with the buttons for a moment until finding the one he was looking for. "Okay… start your cheesecake-ing in three… two… one… GO!"

Kit-Kat started grabbing ingredients and putting them in the measuring cup, shaking it around to see the exact measurements. She put the items into the bowl, and then started mixing them around with a wooden spoon. After finishing with the mixing, she pulled over a plate, then flipped the bowl over and tapped it a couple times on the sides. The ingredients she created plopped out of the bowl onto the plate: pretty much solid and in the shape of a cheesecake!

"How much time does she have?" Sienna asked Morty.

"That was two minutes and forty seven seconds." He replied.

"Can we try it?" Daphne asked.

"No. You have to freeze it for an hour and-"

"Chris won't wait an hour, Kit-Kat." Sienna said. "Chris isn't that nice."

"Well, I know, but-"

"We need talents that will take less than an hour." The queen bee stated. "Next?"

Kit-Kat's shoulders slumped as she sat walked away from the judges, unfrozen cheesecake in hand. Aaron stopped her midway.

"You know, I'll eat the cheesecake if you freeze it." He said.

"Really?" Kit-Kat smiled.

"Oh yeah, you don't have to ask me twice."

The next person up was Irving who gave the judges a wave. Sienna's mouth upturned into a smile.

"This should be good…" she commented.

"So, Irving, what do you do?" Daphne asked.

"Well…" Irving started, Sienna hoping he was going to say he could take off his shirt without using his hands or something. "I…" Sienna found herself daydreaming of him pulling his shirt off using only his teeth. That could be really hot if executed right. "Play the harmonica!"

Sienna's grin suddenly disappeared as the jock pulled the small metal instrument out of his pocket.

"Cool!" Morty commented.

"This _could_ be good." Daphne nodded to Sienna, who just looked disappointed. No bare-chested Irving today.

Irving put the harmonica to his mouth and started blowing into it, the notes to some song coming out slowly at first. Then, he sped up, and got faster and more intricate and soon a very fast, very dramatic tune was being played. Irving, meanwhile, was moving around like crazy, as if he was doing an epic guitar solo compared to a harmonica audition. As the notes kept getting faster, Irving dropped to his knees in a very guitar-solo-esque style and starting rocking out to his own tune.

The three judges just stared.

When Irving finished, he pulled the harmonica out of his mouth and raised his hand into the air, holding the little metal instrument up. There was silence for a moment as the sound faded away.

"I liked it!" Morty smiled.

"It _was_ very entertaining." Daphne agreed.

"That was the lamest instrument I have ever seen played by one of the hottest guys…" Sienna confessed. "And somehow, the hotness makes it work. I think we have our first contestant!"

**

* * *

**

Deer

"Did you hear that?" Tanya asked her teammates, who were still sitting on the stairs, as Lacey attempted to plug her bass guitar into an amplifier than she'd found and "borrowed" from one of the sheds out by the lake.

"Hear what?"

"SHHHH!!!" Tanya said, silencing the team. Sound came from behind the Tortoises' cabin. Everybody listened.

"Is that a swarm of musical bees?" Blair asked.

"It sounds kind of like somebody making rude sounds with their mouth." Bren said with a grimace.

"It sounded like a rocking harmonica solo!" Kestrel smiled. All heads turned to him, and then his teammates started laughing.

"Harmonica! That's good!" Haley giggled.

"That sound can't come from a harmonica!" Addy chuckled.

"Yeah right!" Jayna cackled.

"Okay, well apparently they've got somebody charming bees over there," Tanya said, turning to Lacey, who was sitting on top of the amp with her guitar in hand. "What've you got?"

"I've got something better than somebody making metallic farting sounds." Lacey insisted, gesturing to her guitar.

"Which is?"

"The influence of Weird Al."

"Oh god…" Tanya sighed.

"Cool!" Joe Howlett said from the porch. "What song are you going to spoof?"

"U + Ur Hand by Pink." Lacey replied, "Total Drama style, that is."

Tanya sighed again. "Let's see what you've got."

"Okay," Lacey started up a basic beat on her bass and then started to sing,

"I'm not here for your entertainment,  
So move that camera or I'm gonna start a fight!  
Just stop filming me for a second,  
You don't have to film every moment of my life!  
'Cause the show's been over,  
Since it began,  
Go away, I just want the prize money,  
And I'll win any way I can."

Several people sitting on the stairs were laughing at her lyrics while the men holding the cameras purposefully zoomed in on her, just to irritate her. She just gave them angry looks.

"There's more, but the verses might have to be censored for rude language towards Chris." Lacey said, smiling at the camera that was filming her, which instantly backed up. She then turned to Tanya. "Did I get in?"

"Can you come up with another of those before tonight?" Tanya asked.

"Oh yeah, they come naturally to me." The nonconformist insisted. "You should hear my version of 'I Kissed a Girl'."

Tanya considered it for a second before giving her a nod. "Okay, then."

"Yes!" Lacey pumped her fist before turning to Bren. "Would you mind moving this amp for me? I don't want to… um… damage my hand or something before tonight."

"No problem." Bren said to the much shorter girl, getting up from his spot on the stairs. Lacey stole his spot, which was between Kestrel and Joe.

"So, do you do the Rolling Stones or Nirvana or something?" Joe asked her when she sat beside him.

"Wait, you like that stuff?" Lacey asked.

"Yeah. Why? Is it to old for you or something?"

"No, actually, I love it!" the bass guitarist exclaimed, surprising the geek. "Which would you prefer: Paint It Black or Smells Like Teen-"

"Do you mind?!" Tanya shouted at her teammates, putting her hands on her hips and glaring.

"Forget Smells Like Teen Spirit," Joe Howlett smirked, "could you turn it into Smells Like Tanya?"

Lacey laughed at that. "I think I can. I don't know how I could ever describe that smell, though. I'm going to have to go with a cross between dead fish and the inside of a sweaty sock."

Tanya growled at her teammate. "First off, I do not smell! I am actually probably one of if not _the_ cleanest person on this whole island!" She put a finger in Lacey's face, to which the nonconformist raised a sarcastic eyebrow. "Second off, if you guys want to make fun of the judge," her finger moved to pointing at Joe Howlett, who just laughed at her tiny finger, "you can go away!"

"Okay, I will." Lacey stood up, her guitar slung around her neck. "I'm going to scope out the other team for some inspiration for my song for tonight." She turned to her teammates. "Anybody who wants to come can come."

"I'm definitely coming." Joe said, getting up from his spot.

"I'll go!" Carrie volunteered, raising a hand as if to signal them and standing up.

"You don't have a talent?" Tanya asked the British girl in surprise. She would've figured the famous Miss Madison would have done something.

"Nothing I can really do onstage." Carrie shrugged, stepping past some of her teammates. "I'll help people get ready beforehand. I can do their outfits. An attractive appearance could win Chef over."

"Okay, if you say so." Tanya said, surprised the cool European girl didn't show off her ability to make anybody look good. When the three walked away, she looked to her teammates. "Next?"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Howlett: "Man, Tanya is just too easy to make fun of." the geek said. "I mean, she thinks she's like a vision of perfection." He laughs. "Nobody's perfect, especially in TV Land."

Lacey: "Okay, so Tanya _doesn't_ smell..." she laughed. "But it could make an interesting song. And to the tune of Smells Like Teen Spirit? Oh yeah... this could work..."

Carrie: "Considering that Lacey almost killed Joe the last time they spoke back in the Scavenger Hunt challenge, I think it's for the best that I accompany them while they 'scope out the other team'." the British girl said. "Plus, I'd rather go do something risky than sit here on the stairs for an hour."

Tanya: "I can't believe those two idiots said I smell!" she whines. "I don't smell at all... right?" Out of curiosity, she lift up an arm and leans slightly forward to smell her underarm. "Ha! I don't! Take that!"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Tortoises

Kyra was currently doing a backbend while telling an obviously made up story about a rabbit in a snowstorm. The judges seemed a bit bored at her.

"And then the bunny met a bear!" Kyra continued her story. "The bunny said 'Hey there, Mr. Bear, how are you?'" She made her voice higher when doing the voice of the bunny, "And the bear's like, 'Rawr! I'm gonna eat you fluffy bunny!'" Her voice was lower when the bear spoke. "So the bunny ran from the bear in circles around the cave until the bear fell into a snow bank and said 'Wait, fluffy bunny! I don't want to be mean! I just have to!' and the bunny came back and helped him and they became best friends and-"

"Kyra?" Sienna interrupted her.

"Yes?"

"You're boring me."

"Oh, but we're not even to the good part yet when Mr. Bear and the bunny go to the beach to escape the cold and-"

"Kyra." Daphne said. "I think Sienna's trying to imply that she doesn't like your story."

"Oh," Kyra got up from her backbend and looked at her teammates, her lower lip jutting out. "Well… I can sing lullabies while I cartwheel-"

"Kyra," Morty addressed the girl. "We want you to stop."

Kyra's eyes got big and watery at this. "But… but…"

"Sorry…" Daphne apologized.

"But… I… I'm talented!" Kyra started crying at this, which caused Sienna to smack her forehead in disappointment.

"Next?!"

The next person up was Joe Freeman, who was armed with a basket of spray paints.

"What do you do, Charlie Brown?" Sienna asked him.

"Just watch." The oval-headed kid instructed as he took out a spray paint and stood in front of the side of one of the cabins. He shook the can, uncapped it, and then started making art.

Joe kept switching paint colors and turning around to look at Sienna for a long period of time, sometimes holding cans of paint up to her and then nodding at his choices. He kept spraying paint on the side of the cabin until a picture became visible. Several of his teammates smiled and awed at it as he stepped away and put his arms out.

"Ta-da!" he smiled. "I call it 'Ode to a Queen Bee'!"

Sprayed on the side of the cabin was a perfect portrait of Sienna Van Der Woodsen. The resemblance was remarkable, from the shape of her nose to the length of her eyelashes to the wave of her hair.

Morty and Daphne clapped at the portrait. Sienna just smiled in awe.

"It's beautiful!" she commented. "Absolutely gorgeous! You're in!"

The best part about the portrait, however, was not the painting itself, but the fact that it was drawn on the side of the Devious Deer's cabin.

**

* * *

**

Admittedly, I went through about a month in school being called the "Female Weird Al" for a thing I did as a presentation in my History class to the tune of Rockstar by Nickelback (dang it, another song I don't own), so hopefully I can think up a funny performance for Lacey to do.

Also, there really is a non-cook cheesecake recipe out there. I've made it. It's really good.

**Anyways, this chapter had some bonding scenes in the beginning: some sibling bonding between Russell and Haley, a friendship between Jake and Jayna, and what was that going on between Riley and Haley? A mutual crush? Hmm...**

**What exactly did Tom ask Riley when he came out onto the porch in the beginning? Well, I thought it was something along the lines of "Was that a girl in a wet shirt?" When he found out it was Daphne, though, I can picture Tom going "Dude… Daphne? Why pick on the girl who's done nothing bad to anyone?"**

**But I'm going to leave that up to your imagination. Imagine it as something more perverted if you'd like, or something nicer. It really depends on which side of Tom you prefer. I'm still not sure which one I prefer.**

**The readers' question for this chapter: Is there a certain camper (or campers) from last season that you think your OC HATED the most? How about LIKED the most?**

**What will happen when the Deer find out Joe Freeman spray painted a portrait of Sienna on the side of their cabin?**

**Will anything happen between Riley and Haley?**

**What exactly did Lacey mean when she said she, Joe Howlett, and Carrie would go "scope out the other team"?**

**And what are the others' talents?**

**All that and more to come in the next chapter!**

**If you have any requests or comments on the story that you'd like to make, don't be afraid to PM me. It can be about anything, whether it's the characters, the challenges, the relationships, whatever! There are a couple of you out there that I've had practically PM conversations with, and they can tell it's a really good way to get Spoilers out of me... seriously, I don't deny you of them (though they're kind of vague). I'm just that pathetic.**


	10. Ep3, Pt2: A Whole Lot of Hurt Hands

**Hey guys, I'm back with another update! I actually impressed myself with how fast this got up. Weird.**

**Anyways, about the questions in the end of the last chapter: the only question I was wondering about an answer to was the first one, the one that had to do with who your character liked and disliked. The others were just my dramatic interlude (or so I thought) to the next chapter. Sorry to those of you that answered all of them!**

**You don't even know how hard it was to stop myself from making an American Idol pun in the last chapter and put Morty as the "cool and casual" judge for Randy, Kit-Kat as the "nice" judge as Paula, and either Irving as the "British" judge or Sienna as the "mean" one for Simon. I steered away from it, though, just because it wouldn't work with the storyline… or whatever you want to call what's going on in each chapter.**

**There are two acts in the talent show that I didn't mention auditioning, but I figured the time before the show was getting to be way longer than the actual talent show would be, so I wouldn't really mention them. Don't ask, this is just my strange reasoning.**

**Oh, and to decide what song I'd parody for Lacey's act, I scanned through Youtube and tried to determine what was the song most used for Total Drama Island videos. I must have seen at least ten videos using "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup, so I decided on that one. If the rhyming scheme in some of her lyrics seems a little weird, go listen to the song. Where the rhymes are placed is kind of strange in it.**

**Disclaimer: If it seems even vaguely familiar, I don't own it.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: A Whole Lot of Hurt Hands**

"Why can't I see this turning out well?" Tanya muttered to herself. She put her chin in her hand as she watched Bren tie a bandanna around his eyes as Kestrel and Addy gathered a group of strange items in a pile that they'd taken from the cabins and other areas around camp.

Tanya had thought the idea wouldn't go very well when Bren mentioned he'd be breaking things, but when he added the blindfold she practically denied him a chance. And then when he asked for volunteers to throw things at him and saw that Addy (who was way too hyper for her own good) and Kestrel (who was just plain old spacey) were the only ones raising their hands, she practically just walked away so she wouldn't have to see the incident play out. But no. She was going to be a good judge. She would give everybody a fair chance, no matter how crazy the idea.

"Okay, I'm ready." Bren said, not realizing he was facing the complete wrong direction.

"We're over here, man!" Kestrel shouted to him.

"Oh, right." Bren turned around so that he was facing them and took on a ready position. "Start throwing, guys."

Addy and Kestrel gave each other a quick thumbs up and then started rapidly chucking objects at the martial artist, who at first just stood there. Several of his teammates thought he was a goner when the first two objects that were thrown (a football and an apple, both taken from the cabins) neared him, but Bren just swung his hand in a karate-chop motion and hit the football back. With the apple he did the same, though the apple broke midair and landed on the ground. The teammates on the stairs just stared in awe.

Addy chucked a plate that she'd taken from the Mess Hall and Kestrel hurled a suitcase. Bren kicked the plate into shards while the suitcase just landed on the ground, the front with a footprint on it. There were books, shampoo bottles, and bars of soap soon flying through the air at Bren, and he didn't miss one of them even though he was blind.

Tanya just watched in shock as Bren hit back every single one of the objects. This was going better than she thought…

Kestrel then chucked some of the black rectangles that Chef claimed were toast at Bren. Bren swung for the burnt toast quickly and hit in midair. To everybody's surprise, it didn't break. It just fell to the ground as Bren made a pained face.

"What was that?" he asked. "A boulder?"

"Chef claims it was toast." Kestrel shrugged, chucking a soccer ball at Bren.

"That couldn't be toast!" Bren said, hitting the soccer ball back (which deflated on impact). "It wouldn't break!"

Kestrel picked the next item from the pile: an electric blue bra printed in hot pink hearts.

"Um… is it safe to throw this?" he said, holding the item up to his teammates on the stairs.

"Oh yeah, go ahead." The artist was surprised that the person that answered him was Blair, the boyish looking tomboy. "It's my least favorite bra anyway."

Kestrel just shrugged and flung the bra at Bren like a slingshot, hooking one strap around his finger and pulling the rest of the bra back.

As he flung the lingerie, Addy chucked the next item at him: a cactus. Nobody questioned where she found it, but everybody waited to see what would happen when Bren hit it.

Bren had no idea what he was hitting; he just knew there was something coming at him. So he attempted to deflect the object that was coming at him with a flat hand, only for the plant to get stuck right in the palm of his hand. For a moment it seemed time stood still, just waiting for Bren's reaction. Jaws dropped open when seeing that the potted plant was stuck in his hand. Bren let out a wince in pain and clutched his hand, pulling the blindfold off. His eyes went wide when seeing the cactus stuck in his skin.

"Which one of you threw this?" he asked, looking up to Kestrel and Addy. Both of their mouths were shaped like the letter O, their eyes wide as dinner plates.

"He did it!" Addy pointed both of her index fingers at Kestrel.

"No, she did it!" Kestrel said, giving the same gesture to the Dutch girl.

Bren just looked from the pair to the plant in his hand and grabbed the plant by the pot, ripping it from his hand with a wince. His hand was patterned in several holes from where the spines had stabbed him, and they were already bleeding because they had been in so deep.

"Does anybody know first aid?" he asked, holding his hand out to the team. Nobody answered. "Okay, would anybody volunteer to help me find Chef's First Aid tent?"

"I'll go." Haley volunteered, stepping down from her spot between Jayna and Corin. Russell suddenly became suspicious of his sister, though he shook it off, thinking he could hopefully trust her.

The pair walked off in the direction of First Aid, Bren mumbling something about his hand turning slightly green.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "I really have to thank the rest of the team for not ratting me out for throwing the cactusje at Bren." The hyper girl said. "I felt bad for blaming Kestrel like that, but did you see what Bren just did? He could beat me up just by flexing his pinky!" Addy flexed her little finger as if to demonstrate. "Good thing he's nice. And since he didn't tell on me, I think Kestrel could be my new friend."

Tanya: "I knew that would go wrong, I just knew it!" she insisted. "But of course nobody listens to me." She rolls her eyes. "They'll learn eventually."

Bren: The martial artist's hand is wrapped up in bandages so it just looks like a giant mitten in place of his hand. "This could have gone worse." He tells the camera. "It could've been my head."

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Tortoises

"Okay, brace yourselves people, because you are now going to witness the power of the awesome, the great, the super talented, and super sexy Riley Smith."

Riley sat behind a drum set and held a pair of drumsticks in his hands, already claiming he was the god of drumming. Only Glisa and Kit-Kat clapped for him, Kit-Kat out of common courtesy and Glisa because she was excited to hear another musical performance. The other Tortoises (minus Kyra who went somewhere to sulk and tear up over not being able to finish her story) just sat there unimpressed.

"Have you braced yourselves?" Riley asked his team.

"Yeah, yeah, we fastened our seat belts, get on with it." Sienna said to the prankster with an impatient wave of her hand.

Riley started off an extremely loud, extremely fast, and extremely high adrenaline drum solo. His hands were shifting from drum to drum, going from pounding on the toms to tittering on the crash cymbal. His feet were rapidly moving up and down on the foot pedals for the bass drum and hi-hat.

The solo was going well, his sticks moving through the air at rapid speeds… unfortunately, the speed seemed too rapid and Riley had crossed his right hand over his left only to smash the fingers on his left hand with his right drumstick. He froze for a moment and then screamed in pain, letting out a long string of curse words in the process. He started shaking his hand out in the air, possibly trying to shake the pain away.

Morty started booing him. Daphne gave him two thumbs down. Sienna rolled her eyes and shouted, "Next?!"

Nobody noticed that a nearby set of bushes were moving with three people behind them laughing.

**

* * *

**

Deer

The Deer watched as Russell held several baseballs in his hands and stood in front of the group in silence. He started to throw the balls up in a crisscross motion and soon everybody realized what his talent was: juggling. He juggled the balls smoothly, catching them and throwing them back in the air quickly as another one landed in his hand.

Tanya, however, just yawned. "This is too boring."

Russell gave her a look.

"I could light them on fire." Corin suggested, digging into her pocket and pulling out a book of matches that she usually used for her experiments.

Russell's expression turned slightly panicked.

"Good idea!" Tanya smiled. "That would be interesting."

"Don't!" Russell shouted, surprising his teammates with his verbal communication.

"Do it!" Tanya insisted.

"Don't!"

"Do it!"

"Don't!"

"Do it!"

Corin just looked between the drama queen and juggling comic book lover until making her decision.

"I'm not doing it." She said. Russell sighed in relief, but was shocked when the scientist threw the matches to Tanya. "You do it."

The drama queen caught the matches with a grateful smile and struck one, walking over to the juggling Russell. Russell stepped away from her while still juggling, but Tanya just followed him with the lit match. Russell stepped away again and Tanya followed. It just went like that for a while until Russell started to run from her, who ran right after him.

They continued their chase until Tanya dived at Russell and set one of the baseballs on fire, falling to the ground. She swiftly jumped up so that she didn't look dirty and turned to see Russell's reaction.

The flaming baseball landed in Russell's hand and he dropped all of the balls, screamed, and ran towards the lake with a flaming hand. His teammates could only watch in complete shock.

"There are a lot of people hurting their hands today." Jayna commented. The others agreed.

Tanya walked up to the others and stood back in her spot with a calm smile on her face. "Next?"

**

* * *

**

Carrie, Joe Howlett, and Lacey

"Did you see his hand? His fingers were bright red!" Lacey said through her laughing.

"That _had_ to hurt!" Carrie commented. At first she had attempted not to laugh, but since Riley had proven to be a bit of a jerk in the past she ended up giggling anyway.

"The best part about the whole thing, though," Joe Howlett insisted, "is that before he started he was like 'are you ready for the super crazy awesome Riley Smith who is obvious way better than you'. That just made the whole thing ten times better."

The three had been sitting behind the bushes watching the other team by the request of Lacey. Carrie and Joe weren't exactly sure what it was that she was planning, but they were both pretty sure she was up to something considering her enthusiasm for watching the other team.

Lacey stopped laughing to scan the scene of campers in front of her as Aaron readied for his talent. Only the top part of her head from her eyes up showed over the top of the bush, so she hoped she wouldn't get noticed. Most of the Tortoises were talking to each other, which she found pretty useless, though she stopped dead when seeing one of them.

"Look!" she shouted to Carrie and Joe. "Look, look, look, look, look!"

"What?"

"Look at Irving!" she pointed a finger and her teammates looked over the top of the bush at the jock. He was sitting on one of the picnic tables playing the harmonica while a couple of his teammates watched.

"Kestrel was right." Joe stated. "It _was_ a harmonica."

"And a really well-played one at that." Carrie added.

"Exactly!" Lacey said. "And that might just be their key to winning."

"Why would you say that?" Carrie asked. "Our talents are much more posh and entertaining than theirs."

"But what if our performances go wrong and Irving comes out with some big old harmonica solo and blows us all away?"

"So, what are you saying?" Joe asked.

"We need to steal that harmonica!"

**

* * *

**

Bren and Haley

"I really don't think my hand was green before." Bren commented to Haley as they walked towards the First Aid tent.

"It also didn't have holes stabbed in it, Bren." Haley mentioned. "You're hurt. But you're going to be fine."

"You're not the one who has to have Chef fix your hand." Bren said darkly as they got to the entrance to the tent. Haley lifted the flap to see inside. In the center of the room was Chef Hatchet, sleeping in a chair. His head was tilted back and his mouth was wide open, drool dripping out of the side.

"Do we wake him up?" Haley whispered to her teammate.

"I wouldn't."

"But you need help with your hand!"

"It's your funeral."

At that, Haley walked into the tent and tapped Chef on the shoulder. "Chef? Chef?"

The large man stirred and then his eyes flicked open, and he seized her wrist in anger. "What do you want?!"

"I kind of need some help." Bren spoke, walking into the tent and holding up his hand.

Chef's face curled into a grimace. "That looks pretty bad. Get over here and lie on this stretcher." Bren obeyed reluctantly, not really trusting the intimidating man. Chef turned to Haley. "What are you doing here?"

"Just helping him find the tent, I'll be leaving now." Haley said, rushing out of the tent. "Hope you'll be okay, Bren!"

"I hope so too…" the martial artist grimaced as Chef pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and turned to him, wiping the drool off of his face.

**

* * *

**

Russell

Russell set foot on the dock and ran full speed towards the water, kneeling down when reaching the edge of the wood and dunking his flaming hand into the cool lake. He gave a relieved sigh when the cold water touched his hand, putting out the fire instantly. He became a lot less relieved, though, when he heard somebody crying.

Keeping his hand in the water, Russell turned to find the source of the sobbing noise to see Kyra curled up by the lifeguard's chair with her face in her hands, obviously unaware of his presence. Trying to ignore her, Russell turned back to his hand… only to hear her whimper a little bit.

She was the enemy. He wasn't supposed to talk to her. He barely even spoke to his own team for crying out loud! And yet somehow he found himself pulling his hand out of the water, wiping it off on his shirt, crouching down next to her. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and she took her head out of her hands and turned to look at him. Seeing that he was on the other team, she put her head back in her hands again.

"Are you okay?" Russell asked her.

"No." Kyra replied dully.

"What's wrong?"

Kyra sniffled a little bit. "Why does it matter?"

"I'm just wondering." He replied. "I couldn't just leave you sitting there."

Kyra picked her head up and turned to Russell with puffy eyes. "Well, my team didn't really-" she choked on her words in a sob, "-like my audition."

"Why not?"

"They said I was…" she sniffled and twitched her nose a little, "…boring."

"Boring? Why?"

"Well… they said my story was taking too long." Kyra explained. "They didn't even let me finish it, though! I was just getting to the good part!"

Russell didn't answer for a minute, weighing out his options. He could go back to his team and consider their short talk him giving Kyra some moral support… or he could keep attempting to comfort her. Option one would mean that he would be able to have some input with his team… but that would involve facing Tanya again. Plus, he felt really bad for Kyra.

"Do you want to tell me your story?" Russell asked.

Kyra's face lit up at that, her lips stretching into a wide smile. "Really?" Russell nodded. "Okay! It all started with a bunny outside searching for food when a snowflake landed on his head…"

**

* * *

**

Tortoises

"Can we get this over with, Aaron? We've got plenty of people to audition." Sienna said to the larger camper in front of her.

"Okay, okay, this takes a little bit of prep." Aaron took a few slow deep breathing exercises and then cracked his knuckles. "I know it's not as cool as Joe's or Irving's talents, but I swear Chef will like this."

"Just do it, Aaron…" Sienna insisted.

"Okay, here goes." Aaron took a deep breath and then closed his lips up tight, only for a strange noise to come from his nose. Nobody dared even move as the strange noise came from the biker-esque teen's nose that could only be described as a very loud nasal belch. When he finished his nose burp, he smiled at the judges with a wide smile on his face, hoping they'd react well.

Daphne's eyes were wide at her teammate, her mouth curled up in utter disgust at his nose burp. Sienna looked like she would vomit. Morty had a smile on his face.

"That… was the coolest thing I've ever seen!" Morty shouted enthusiastically. When he saw the two ladies beside him make faces at him, he slunk back down in his seat. "Oh. I mean, that was completely disgusting. Why would you ever do anything as repulsive as that?" Sienna gave him an approving nod and he gave her a charmer's smile.

"But, come on guys!" Aaron persisted. "Chef would love it!"

"But what if he doesn't?" Sienna asked. "What if he thinks it's gross like every other sane person at this camp?"

"Well, he's not exactly what you would consider _sane_." Aaron pointed out. "I think he'd like it and give it extra points for being manly."

Daphne and Sienna looked unconvinced. Morty's expression was indifferent, obviously wanting to please the ladies but probably disagreeing with their opinions.

"We'll consider it, Aaron." Daphne stated. When Aaron pumped his fist in victory, she repeated, "I said we'll _consider_ it."

Aaron's expression fell slightly though he seemed to be optimistic as he walked back to the other campers. Kit-Kat gestured for him to sit beside her from her spot sitting at the other picnic table.

"If it counts for anything," she said to him, "I thought it was pretty impressive though it was a little gross. And you're right. Chef would've liked it."

"At least somebody gets my point." Aaron insisted. He paused for a moment, seeing the cheesecake that she'd placed on the table behind her. "You know, we found the refrigerator during the Scavenger Hunt. You could always put the cheesecake in there for a while."

Kit-Kat smiled. "I'd like that."

"Let's go."

**

* * *

**

Deer

Tanya waited impatiently as Blair decided she would show off her talent. The tomboy stepped up in front of her team and put her hands out. They waited in silence for her to do something… but she just stood there with her hands out, a smile on her face.

"Oh yeah." Blair said. "This is talent, right?"

"What exactly are you doing?" Corin asked, taking the words right from Tanya's mouth.

"I'm showing you my talent." Blair said. "Making people think I'm a boy!"

"Oh! Oh! I see it now!" Addy giggled.

"Yeah… you do kind of look like a boy." Kestrel agreed. "Whoa."

"Whoa indeed." Blair said. "Nice to know you guys are impressed."

"I'm not." Tanya remarked, rolling her eyes. "You know, if you grew your hair out a bit and put on some simple makeup, you'd probably look at least a _little_ like a girl."

Blair's eyebrows furrowed at that. "_What_ did you just say?"

"I said that if you put a little more effort into it you would look a lot less masculine."

"Oh, you wanna see my feminine side?" Blair asked, stomping over to the drama queen. She held a fist in her face. "Her name's Knuckles."

"You know, I'd really like to meet Knuckles someday." Tanya told the tomboy. "I think she'd be a very nice girl."

"I think you should meet Knuckles too." Blair said, gripping Tanya by the shirt and pulling her, bringing back her fist. "I don't think you guys would get along though." She was just about to sock the girl in front of her when somebody grabbed her arm from behind.

"No! Don't!" Addy's voice shouted. Blair looked over to see that the hyper girl had grabbed her arm. "We need Tanya! She's our judge."

"Any of us could be a judge, Addy." Blair answered. "I think Sienna was right. She _does_ need to be taught a lesson. I think maybe if I just punch her lights out she'll learn."

"Despite the fact that she has been a complete nuisance since the start of the show," Corin said from her spot on the stairs, "We could possibly need her in the future."

"Even though she's really annoying, you don't have to hit her!" Jayna protested.

"Yeah! What she said!" Addy said frantically. She really just couldn't see somebody get hurt in front of her. "Don't hurt her!"

Blair sighed and put her arm down, looking to Tanya. "Sorry."

"No problem." Tanya replied, her voice a nervous squeak. Blair walked away from her and sat down on the stairs beside Jayna, who made sure to scoot over a bit just in case. "Okay, so who's next?"

"I'll go." Corin volunteered, raising her hand. "Just let me go get my saxophone."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "I don't usually flip out like that on people." The tomboy claimed. "Honestly, Tanya is just so annoying that somebody has to hit her eventually. I figured I'd do the job just fine." She shrugged. "That'd teach her to insist I become more feminine. _Nobody_ does that."

Tanya: "I wasn't scared of Blair." The drama queen insisted. "I mean, sure she's intimidating, loud, opinionated, and was attempting to punch me in the face… but no, I wasn't scared!" The expression on her face said otherwise.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

**Riley**

Riley had just finished running his hurting hand under cold water to help numb the pain and was wiping it off on his pants as he exited the restrooms. He examined his hand to see if it looked any better. The fingers he hit were bright red. Great.

"Riley!" His head flicked up so fast he swore he gave himself whiplash when he heard the voice call his name… a familiar female's voice. He smiled when seeing who was calling him: Haley Figgins, the hot girl who'd flashed the entire viewing audience. She was alone and heading towards him. This could turn out in his favor.

"Hey Haley," Riley said as she neared him. "What're you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with your team?"

"Bren hurt his hand and I was just escorting him to the First Aid tent." Haley explained. "Why are you out here?" In response, Riley held up his hand. "Ouch. What'd you do?"

"Drum solo gone wrong." Riley replied. "But it's no problem for a manly man like me. I can handle stuff like this any day. Hey, I think I've actually handled worse. But, it's all in a day's work when it comes to a life like mine. I've been sued at least fifteen times, you know."

Haley let out a giggle. "What do you do that's bad enough to get sued multiple times?"

"Well, you know… TP the neighborhood, kick a rock at the principal's bumper, dye the old lady down the road's cat blue." He listed. "Still, I do it everyday. You know, 'cause I'm just so bad like that."

Haley giggled again, this one a little flirtier than the last, and took a step closer to the boy. "You know, some girls consider bad boys to be hot."

Riley's eyebrows shot up at that and the corner of his mouth lifted into a crooked smirk. "Really?"

"Oh yeah." Haley said. "Sexy even."

"What about you?" he asked. "What do _you_ think about bad boys?"

"Depends on if he's attractive or not." Haley replied with a casual shrug, obviously teasing him.

"Well, any on this island you might find attractive?"

Haley put a finger to the side of her face and puckered her lips in thought. "I don't know... maybe one."

The other side of Riley's mouth upturned, his smirk turning into a smile. "You wanna go hang out on the dock or something?"

Haley didn't answer for a moment, and Riley thought she was actually going to say no. Even if she did say no, he probably wouldn't give up on her, despite the fact that she totally led him on. She finally answered after what felt like a lifetime to the usually confident prankster. "I'd love to."

"I knew you would." He said as they both turned and walked off in the direction of the lake.

**

* * *

**

Carrie, Joe Howlett, and Lacey

"How exactly did _I_ end up being the one who has to steal the harmonica?" Carrie muttered under her breath. Somehow the British designer found herself sitting unnoticed under the picnic table that Irving was sitting on, fully aware that his butt was most likely right over her head.

After Lacey came with the oh-so-bright idea of snagging the harmonica, Carrie had asked which of the three of them was going to have to be the poor sap that had to get it. That was when both Lacey and Joe said "Not it!" and she found herself pretty much led into a trap by the two American teens.

So, she'd decided to just go along with it and waited for just the right moment where everybody was watching Jake fold origami to crawl across the short distance between the bush and the picnic table and scrunch herself under it. Man, did she feel conned.

She looked over to the bush and waited for Lacey's signal that she was safe to grab the harmonica. She didn't know what the signal was, but Lacey had said she'd know it when she saw it. Carrie waited and waited until the upper half of Lacey's face peeked over the top of the bush and she flailed her arms around ridiculously, looking almost like some kind of scared puppet whose arms were attached to wildly thrashing strings. She could only roll her eyes at the brunette. That was definitely the signal.

Carrie reached an arm up to the top of the picnic table and started feeling around its surface, watching Lacey the whole time. Lacey was directing her by pointing left or right to tell her which direction to move her hand and Carrie obeyed, though she didn't find herself even close to finding anything on the tabletop.

After a minute, Carrie found her hand touching something and eagerly reached for it. She was almost positive she had the harmonica, and tried to get her hands around it, looking back to Lacey with a smile. Her smile turned to a confused expression, though, when she saw that Lacey's eyes were wide and she was making a hand gesture that looked a lot like she was cutting her throat. It was the universal symbol for stop, and Carrie soon felt herself panicking when a hand grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her out from under the table.

"Well look what we have here," said a familiar accented voice. "A rat trying to sabotage our team."

Carrie found herself face to face with Irving and suddenly realized that the object she'd touched wasn't the harmonica… it was Irving's butt.

**

* * *

**

Russell and Kyra

"So, then the bunny, bear, and their new friend Mr. Wolf find themselves curled around a nice warm fire drinking hot cocoa and toasting marshmallows. And then they lived happily ever after. The end."

"Wow. That was some story."

"Yeah. It wasn't boring, was it?"

Russell had to admit, sitting through a twenty minute story could be considered boring. But he wasn't going to tell Kyra that. She'd finally stopped sniffling a couple minutes back and seemed completely done with the tears. He was almost positive that if he said anything bad about the story she would start to cry again and he'd be back to square one.

"No." Russell told her. "That story wasn't boring at all."

"I knew it!" Kyra said. "I knew that Sienna, Daphne, and Morty were just being jerks to me. They must've been jealous."

"Oh yeah. That's definitely it."

"The thing is I was telling the story while doing a backbend, which makes it _one hundred billion trillion times_ more interesting."

"It must have been."

Kyra leaned towards Russell and threw her arms around him in an unexpected hug, throwing him a bit off guard. "Thank you for listening to my story."

"Oh yeah, no problem." Russell said, blushing because a girl he hadn't even spoken to before now was hugging him. He blushed even harder, though, when he saw Addy and Kestrel walking towards the dock.

"Hey Russell!" Addy shouted to him, waving at him from afar. "You have got to come see this!"

"Yeah, Corin's talent is _awesome_." Kestrel agreed.

Russell pulled away from Kyra's embrace awkwardly and got up. "Um… I kind of have to go." His speech faded into his usual mumble at the last couple of words and he walked off agitatedly, leaving Kyra watching him with a smile on her face.

"We weren't interrupting anything, were we?" Kestrel asked him as the three walked back towards camp.

Russell shook his head no and muttered something about them being almost finished.

**

* * *

**

Riley and Haley

The pair was walking towards the dock talking about their life back home when Haley stopped dead at the sight in front of her.

"What wrong with you?" Riley asked, stopping beside her.

"Look." Haley pointed at something in the close distance. Riley followed her finger to see three figures walking in their general direction, all three of which he recognize as members of the Devious Deer. There was the overexcited girl who spoke with a strange accent, the spacey guy who wore glasses without the glass, and the awkward and tall person that Riley realized was Haley's brother.

"Why are _they_ here?" Riley asked.

"I don't know." Haley replied. "They might be looking for me."

"Well, it doesn't look like they've seen us yet." He pointed out, noticing that the girl's mouth was running a hundred miles a minute and the two guys seemed to be listening to her.

"We can't just walk past them."

"Well, we could always take the scenic route." Riley jerked a thumb to his right and pointed to a path where they'd be going around a different side of the water. The walk would be longer, but it _would_ keep them out of sight of her teammates.

"Okay." Haley agreed as they quickly walked in that direction, avoiding being caught by her brother and teammates, who unbeknownst to her hadn't even seen them.

**

* * *

**

Tortoises

"Trying to sabotage us, were you?" Irving asked Carrie, still holding her up by the wrist. "I thought that was too low for a public figure like you."

"Living the posh lifestyle doesn't effect how I compete outside of the fashion industry." Carrie replied. "So no, it wasn't too low for me." She hadn't bothered to mention that this whole thing was Lacey's fault. This was her argument.

"What about touching my butt?" Irving questioned. "Was that part of your plan to sabotage us, or was that just for you?"

"That was a complete accident. I swear I thought it was the harmonica."

"She is _so_ lying!" Sienna shouted over from her position at the judges' picnic table. "She was totally trying to touch you!"

"Hey, maybe that's how _you_ would like to be seen on public television, but I'd prefer to be seen with a lot more classiness than that." Carrie snapped at the queen bee. It was only then when she noticed the giant picture of Sienna drawn on the side of the cabin. "What's that?" she pointed to the picture. "A shrine to yourself?"

"It's none of your business." Sienna replied. "And you should be honored to even be allowed _near_ a picture as good looking as that."

"It _is_ a nice picture." Carrie admired the drawing and then turned back to Sienna. "It must not be a shrine you made for yourself. There's no way you could've painted something that nice."

"Oh please," Sienna rolled her eyes. "Like you could do any better. Your designs are so amateur I don't know how you even got your own store. I have much better taste than you do"

"I'd like to see that taste someday, Bee Girl." Carrie said, pointing out her yellow and black outfit once again.

"For your information, I can make clothes out of anything."

"Well, you should-"

"Could you ladies finish this argument later?" Irving interrupted. "One thing at a time, right?"

"Fine, fine." Sienna said, letting Irving get back to his confrontation.

"You know, if you just let me go I won't take anything else from you." Carrie mentioned.

"You expect us to trust you?" Irving asked.

"I think I'd be much easier to trust than if somebody else had come over and tried to borrow something." Carrie insisted. "I mean, what if somebody like Addy or Lacey had come and attempted to take something? You'd never hear the end of it."

Several nods and murmurs of agreement came from the Tremendous Tortoises and Irving looked over his shoulder to see his team.

"What do you think?" he asked them.

After a moment of disagreeing chatter, the group came up with a verdict.

"Let her go."

"Okay, you heard them." Irving let go of Carrie's wrist.

"Thank you." She said, walking off around the back of the cabins. Joe Howlett and Lacey stood behind the cabin out of view of the other team, and seemed to be relieved that they let Carrie go.

"Sorry about that…" Lacey apologized. "I should've warned you earlier. Was my signal not obvious enough?"

"No. Your signal could probably be seen from space." Carrie said. "I just wasn't looking at you."

"So what do we do now that we don't have the harmonica?" Joe asked.

"Well, we could always attempt to take whatever supplies they used to paint that picture of Sienna-"

"I never said I didn't have the harmonica." Lacey and Joe turned to Carrie in surprise.

"What?"

"I never said I didn't have the harmonica." Carrie replied, putting a hand in the pocket of her skinny jeans. She pulled out the metal instrument and held it up to them.

"How did you get that?"

"I took it off the table when Irving turned his head." Carrie answered. "They didn't even see me pick it up."

"What are we going to do with it?" Joe asked, more directed towards Lacey than Carrie.

Lacey took the harmonica from Carrie and looked at it, a smile forming on her face when she got an idea. "Where did they put that cheesecake?"

* * *

The screen was blank and motionless and there was no sound playing at all. It remained like this for a few moments until Chris's voice boomed.

"Are you ready to see some talent?!"

After he finished saying that, music started up and the screen blew into a burst of color and pictures flew across the screen of the original talent show. There was Heather reading Gwen's diary in her pink tutu, Geoff breaking his skateboard, Trent singing his love song, Courtney screaming because her violin had smashed, DJ ribbon dancing, Bridgette standing on her head and barfing, Justin doing his Flash Dance routine, and finally Harold beat boxing. The pictures all fade away and the dark changed into an image of Chris Mclean, standing on the stage at Camp Wawanakwa.

"Welcome to the Camp Wawanakwa Second Annual Talent Show!" he raises his arms in the air and the camera zooms out, showing that the teams are sitting on their respective sets of bleachers in front of the stage.

"Today, our teams have chosen their three most talented campers to perform onstage and try to impress the former deejay, vee-jay, and rap artist Chef Hatchet!" Chris explains to the camera. "Chef will rate the campers on a scale of one to nine on his famous Chef-O-Meter!" Chris points above his head as the meter appears on the screen, the bar rising from one to nine and making a dinging sound when it hit nine. "And here are our teams now: the Tremendous Tortoises…" the camera view switches to the Tortoises that are on the bleachers, "and the Devious Deer…" the camera focuses on the Deer on the bleachers. "The team members who aren't on the bleachers are backstage… here, let's take a look."

The camera pushes past the curtains behind him to see that the teams are obviously separated with the six chosen campers being fawned over by the others that were backstage with them. Tanya was straightening out Corin's clothing while she polished her soprano saxophone. Kestrel was sketching on a napkin while Addy leaned over his shoulder and smiling at his work. Lacey was strumming random notes on her bass guitar while Carrie sat in the chair beside her with a container with several different colors of eyeshadow in it, trying to decide which one would look best on the other girl, who kept insisting she didn't need all that. Irving was talking to Sienna, who was talking about where Irving should stand on stage for optimum camera angle since she said she had experience with this kind of stuff. Riley and Jake were helping Joe Freeman shake up several colors of spray paints (Riley mostly just because he hoped Haley would be backstage) with a giant canvas behind them. Tom was pulling back the string of a bow and arrow while Morty held a couple of apples.

Chris pushed through the curtains and spoke to the campers backstage. "We're going to commercial guys, we're on in five." Several people muttered in response. "Who's on first?"

"That'd be me." Lacey raised a hand. The two teams had done a coin toss backstage and the Deer had lost, so they had to perform first.

"Okay, just making sure." Chris nodded, going back to the other side of the curtain.

Carrie held up a certain color of purple eyeshadow. "Okay, I think this one would look great on you. Make the boys go bonkers, right?"

"Whatever, Carrie," Lacey said, looking across to look at Irving and Sienna. The jock didn't seem to have any idea that his instrument was missing. Good. It was all working out according to plan.

"Okay, could you just close your eyes for me then?" Carrie asked. Lacey obeyed and the British girl came at her face with a brush.

"And we're back with our first performance!" Chris said to the camera. "So representing the Devious Deer, give it up for Lacey Merceau." Chris walked off the stage as Lacey walked on with her guitar. She plugged it into an amp beside her and then sat down on a chair. The Deer clapped. The Tortoises booed.

She pulled a microphone over towards her and spoke into it, "This song is a parody of Bowling for Soup's song 'High School Never Ends', now called 'Chris is Still a Jerk.'" That got a laugh from several of the campers sitting on the bleachers. She started up the bass line and then started to sing,

"At first, I thought for sure  
That this show I couldn't endure  
The host is a dick  
Camp's got some stuck up chicks  
It really makes me a bit unsure  
But now my team knows my name  
And the competition's been extremely lame  
Chris is still a selfish jerk  
Who does absolutely no work  
And yet somehow he thinks he's got all the fame

Because the pretty boy jerk is really obsessed  
With terrorizing Chef and looking his best  
Runs a hand through his hair  
Tries to make the ladies stare  
But all it does is make food hard to digest  
He really doesn't have the right stuff  
And he doesn't have any cool perks  
And no matter how much cash he has or how many people he irks  
Chris is still a jerk

Check out all of us poor kids  
Did you see what he just did?  
Torture us with challenges and tell us we'll get cash  
He always treats us like we're all just pointless trash  
We could hurt him, hit him with a van  
We could dump him in the trash, mess up his hair if we can  
Throw him in the lake  
Say it was a mistake  
Sure it might be mean  
But it'll be worth it in the end!

Because the pretty boy jerk is really obsessed  
With terrorizing Chef and looking his best  
Runs a hand through his hair  
Tries to make the ladies stare  
But all it does is make food hard to digest  
He really doesn't have the right stuff  
And he doesn't have any cool perks  
And no matter how much cash he has or how many people he irks  
Chris is still a jerk!"

Chris came onto the stage with a frown on his face when she was finished and pushed her off the stage, complaining about her hogging his spotlight.

"Okay, so let's see what Grand Master Chef says…" The Chef-O-Meter appeared over his head and the bar rose. "Chef gives her performance… six out of nine!" The Deer clapped. Chris looked at the teleprompter with a frustrated face. "This says that he gave it a six 'mostly for all the Chris bashing and the truth in the lyrics'." His brow furrowed. "Oh ha Chef, you're so funny." The host rolled his eyes at that. "Up first for the Tremendous Tortoises is… Irving Ranthor!"

Backstage, there was a clutter as Irving scrambled around looking for his harmonica. After a minute, he came to a realization.

"It's not here!" his teammates that were backstage gasped. "Joe, you have to go on first."

"Okay." Joe Freeman nodded, picking up his paints.

"Make sure you draw something to suck up to Chef!" Sienna shouted as Joe walked onto the stage, followed by Jake rolling the giant canvas behind him. He whispered into Chris's ear when he neared him.

"Okay, scratch that." Chris said. "We won't be seeing Irving Ranthor, instead we'll be seeing Joe Freeman!" The slightly confused Tortoises on the bleachers clapped while the Deer booed. "Take it away Joe."

Joe Freeman picked up a brown paint and turned to the canvas behind him as music filled the air. He started spraying the paint into a shape that looked vaguely like a head, and then put the brown back down and picked up a black bottle. He emphasized the outline he'd already made and then started adding features to the head: a unibrow, the outline of lips, a nose, wrinkles on the forehead, and facial hair. He picked up the white paint and added eyes and a hat, and continued adding features with all different colors before moving onto a second figure. People were questioning what he was doing for a few minutes until the picture became clear and several people laughed. He around and put his arms out with a smile.

"Ta-da!" The canvas behind him bore a lifelike picture of Chef Hatchet hitting Chris over the head with a spatula. The Tortoises applauded him.

"Okay, now this is hogging up my spotlight too." Chris walked out onto the stage and pushed the canvas, the giant image wheeling off stage with a crash. Joe ran after it, trying to make sure that nobody had gotten hit. "We'll see what Chef gives Joe…" he paused and then pointed to the camera. "After the break!"

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So.... does that count as a cliffhanger? It's not exactly a dramatic one if so, but if I made this chapter any longer you guys would probably get really bored considering how long it turned out to be.

**I have learned something this chapter: there aren't many words that rhyme with jerk.**

**No reviewers' question this chapter just because I can't think of one. Trust me, the last question I asked you will most likely come in handy during the fifth challenge!**

**Who'll win the talent show?**

**Who'll get voted off?**

**Will Irving ever find his harmonica?**

**You'll have to wait and see in the next chapter!**


	11. Ep3, Pt3: Wawankwa's Got Talent

**141 reviews?! Wow… you guys rock. Seriously.**

**How have I been getting these updates up so fast? Well, to put it simply, this summer has sucked. Honestly, it's rained here almost everyday. Today was actually a sunny day, so I jumped into the pool to swim… and suddenly it starts to thunder. Honestly, the sun was out, it was really hot, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and a thunderstorm starts up. _Really_ Mother Nature? Really?!**

**Here's the last part of the talent show and the outcome was not originally how I'd planned it. Hopefully you weren't expecting it considering even I didn't know the outcome while I wrote the first two parts of this episode.**

**I thought this chapter was really hard to write for some reason. I just couldn't make it as interesting or entertaining as I thought the last couple had been. But, I hope it came out good enough. Also, if you see more gramatical errors than usual, I wrote this whole thing late at night, so if I find them in the morning I'll make sure to fix them.**

**Disclaimer: A middle class teenage girl from Connecticut owning Total Drama Island? Not gonna happen no matter how hard I try. I do, however, own Lacey and the myth of the Bernuvian butterfly.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Wawanakwa's Got Talent… Right?**

"And we're back!" Chris said to the camera, giving it his signature shimmering smirk. "Before the commercials, we were anxiously waiting Chef's rating on Joe Freeman's hideous painting."

"Hey!" Joe, now standing beside Chris, shouted.

"And the rating is in…" a drum roll started up as the Chef-O-Meter popped up on the top of the screen and the bar slowly rose. The bar finally stopped past the middle of the meter. "A six! Mostly for… 'Putting his lifelong dream onto paper', 'destroying Chris's pretty boy hair', and 'a bonus point for impressive speed.'" Chris scowled at the teleprompter as the Tremendous Tortoises cheered, Joe taking a dramatic bow. "So the two teams are tied as we introduce our next contestant... Kestrel Parker!"

Kestrel gathered up his supplies to paint and walked onto the stage, placing his supplies beside him. Addy then rolled out a giant canvas identical to the one Joe used and parked it behind him, walking offstage with a wave to the camera. There was silence for a moment when he didn't move and just stood there for a moment in complete motionless peace.

"Inspiration…" he tapped a finger against his chin. "Come on inspiration, don't fail me now!"

"Can you get on with this?!" somebody shouted from the Tortoise bleachers.

"Inspiration… how can I get inspiration…?" Kestrel broke into a smile when thinking of a way to get inspired and he wiped off his hands on his shirt. Then, he leaned down to the ground and put his hands flat on the floor and flung his legs up above him, putting his head down on the ground for support. He was doing a handstand, which would apparently help him with his inspiration.

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Confession Cam

Chris: "One lesson I have learned from the first season of Total Drama Island is that handstands and talent shows _do not_ _mix_." The host looked at his reflection on the camera and adjusted a piece of his hair. "Handstands combined with talent shows with a bag of potato chips lead to barfing. Barfing is not good for anybody within a twelve kilometer radius of the person barfing. Barfing is… oh, I look good even reflected in a camera!" The topic of barfing just faded away as he admired himself, obviously with no idea what he was just talking about.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Kestrel stood on his hands and several people blocked their faces, expected vomit to start shooting at them any moment. Kestrel's face instead of turning into an ill expression turned into a motivated one. He reached out an arm and picked up a paint brush from his pile of supplies, unscrewed the lid of a container of red paint, and dipped the brush in. Then, he lifted the brush with his hand and bent his legs, picking the brush up between his two yellow and purple sneakers. He put his hand back down to support himself and then brought his feet to the canvas.

Several of the campers sitting on the bleachers awed at the feat he was accomplishing with his feet while Kestrel moved his feet in a curved shape, the shape turning into the shape of a face after completing the figure. He dropped the paint brush into his hand and then hopped back to his feet, landing his handstand without falling. Then, he turned around and started to paint behind his back, adding what looked like features to the face. They were slightly undefined, but that would soon change when he dipped his paint into a can of violet paint and added pupils to the eyes and details to the nose.

All seemed to be going well… that was until Kestrel's eye opened wide when looking out into the audience.

"Is that… a rare Bernuvian butterfly?!" his jaw dropped when seeing the insect fly over the bleachers. "I thought those were only found in northern Saskatchewan!" And to everybody's surprise, he ran and jumped off the stage, knocking several cans of paint over in the process, chasing the butterfly. "No, wait! According to my dreams if I say the right thing you'll turn into a fairy!" He ran after the ice blue butterfly and hopped into the air attempting to catch it. The insect was always just out of his reach and he ended up chasing it all the way into the forest, leaving everybody watching where he went completely confused.

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Confession Cam

Kestrel: "The rare Bernuvian butterfly is supposed to be only found in northern Saskatchewan, easily identified by its ice blue wings." The artist explained. "At one point, I had a dream which I'm pretty sure was a message sent to me from the gods that said that if I ever found this rare bug outside of Saskatchewan, you'd have to catch it. Once you got it, you'd utter a certain phrase and he'd turn into the Fairy Lord and reward you with countless riches." The artist adjusted his glasses and then gave a shifty look to the camera. "I'm not telling you the secret words, though, because if I did, then you'd be able to catch it before I do."

Tanya: "If we lose this Talent Show, I blame Kestrel."

Bren: "Dude… butterflies are just butterflies, not fantasy creatures."

Addy: "That was a really pretty butterfly."

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End Confession Cam

"Okay, then…" Chris stepped onto the stage and pushed the half finished painting (that looked like some strangely colored Chef Hatchet) aside. "Let's see what Chef rated that performance." The Chef-O-Meter popped up above him and the bar rose and stopped quickly. "A two. Wow. I didn't think he'd even give him that." The Deer booed, though most of them understood exactly why Chef rated Kestrel so low.

"We're gonna be taking a short intermission for our performers and hopefully we can go get some interns to go find Kestrel." Chris gave the camera a grin, and then the picture of a man ironing clothing appeared on the screen with a "We'll Be Right Back!" written above it popped up.

Knowing that the cameras weren't on him, Chris looked out towards the forest, then walked off the stage to order some interns to go find Kestrel.

Sienna and Jake then pushed past the curtains and walked down to where the Tortoises were sitting on the bleachers.

"We have a problem." Jake said to the group in front of them. "They took Irving's harmonica."

"Really?" somebody asked.

"Yeah, and they need to pay." Sienna replied, pounding her fist into her hand.

"How're they supposed to pay?" Aaron questioned.

"Well, we're going to need Riley for that." Jake pointed to the prankster, who smiled at that. He knew exactly what they needed him for. "And we're also going to need somebody else to go in Irving's place."

"I could do it, chica." Glisa stood up and hopped down from the bleachers.

"What do you do again?" Sienna asked her,

"I play the violin, I sing, and I dance like crazy!" Glisa replied, swinging her hips as if to further her explanation.

"Okay, go get your violin and whatever you need and meet us backstage really quick." Glisa ran off to the cabins as Sienna turned to Riley. "Now, I'm pretty sure you have a pretty good idea of what we need you to do…"

* * *

"Welcome back everyone!" Chris said to the camera. "Okay, next up representing the Tremendous Tortoises we have Tom MacHugh."

Tom walked out onstage holding a bow and a couple arrows. Morty followed with a stool and a lit candle in hand. Morty set up the camera on one side of the stage and then walked away and Tom set up an arrow. He drew the bowstring back to about his ear and positioned the arrow for the flame coming from the candle, lining it up to what seemed would be a perfect shot. He got ready to release the string when a shout interrupted him.

"Hey guys! I caught the butterfly!"

Startled by the sudden outburst, Tom accidentally released the string and the arrow shot into the air way off of its target. The arrow flew way past the candle and hit a wall backstage, bouncing off of it and shooting back towards Tom. Tom ducked just in time so that the projectile flew just past his face. The arrow hit another wall and changed course once again, this time flying for the bleachers. Russell, who was sitting on the end of the Deer's bleachers, was nicked in the arm by the arrow as it flew past him and past the faces of his teammates towards Bren's head. Bren put up his bandaged hand to protect his face and the arrow bounced off the hand and towards the Tortoises. The team all ducked at the same time, Aaron falling off the side of the bleacher in the process. The arrow bounced off of Aaron's head, turning itself off course and towards the stage once again. That was when Chris had chosen to poke his head out of the curtain to see what was going on out there… only to be hit in the middle of the head by the arrow and fall to the ground.

That was when the arrow fell to the ground, losing all its momentum because it hit the host straight on. Tom just stared at the arrow for a moment before looking back to the camera and then glancing between the two for a minute. Finally, he put out his arms in a showy gesture and awkwardly made his way offstage. The man ironing the shirt popped back up for the viewers at home.

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Confession Cam

Tanya: "You know how I said that Kestrel's the one to go home tonight? Well, now that he made Tom lose focus, he's on my good side again."

Addy: "That's twice that a butterfly has jinxed a challenge…" her face curls into a pondering expression until her eyes go wide. "You don't think the butterflies are trying to ruin our talent showje, do you? OMGG, the butterflies are gonna take over the world!!!"

Russell: "Being hit with an arrow is a whole lot better than being puked on."

Tom: "Okay, there is no way I could've seen that coming. And I would've made that shot if Kestrel hadn't distracted me." He frowns. "Stupid Kestrel…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

The camera opened back up to Chris standing on the stage with a bandage wrapped around his head. "Forget you saw any of that, okay?" he tells the viewers at home as the Chef-O-Meter appears over his head. The bar rises and stops at one of the lower numbers. "Four for violence inflicted on Chris. Thanks a whole lot Chef." Chris rolls his eyes before he smiles again. "Okay, next up we have Corina Taros for the Devious Deer."

The host walks off the stage as the scientist walks on holding her soprano saxophone. She stands in the center of the stage and looks out to the audience.

"Today I will be charming snakes with my saxophone." She tells them. The Deer clap as she lifts the mouthpiece to her lips and puts the reed in her mouth. She takes a deep breath and then blows.

Instead of music coming out, several wads of newspaper spray into the air above the bleachers. Corin's eyes widen at that and she blows again only for more newspaper to come out accompanied by a strangled sound. She keeps blowing into the instrument only to find it jammed, having only strange gargling sounds coming from it instead of the tune she was hoping to play.

This garroted sound seems to be working to charm the snakes, however, because several of the slimy creatures crawled out of the ground around the stage towards the scientist. They wriggled in front of her and she let out another note. This note was supposed to cause the snakes to dance, but instead of an A sharp it came out as a choked burble. The snakes did react, however, but in a completely wrong way. Each of the creatures turned to face the teams sitting on the bleachers, and then jumped at them.

Corin stopped playing her saxophone and gaped in horror as the snakes crawled on her teammates and enemies. Several people poked their heads out from behind the curtains to watch. Snakes crawled up legs, around arms, and into hair as Corin examined her sax and attempted to dig whatever was clogging it up out. Meanwhile, Haley was screaming bloody murder because a snake had just crawled onto her head, Jayna was shaking the reptiles out of her shirt, and Daphne was struggling to get the snakes from crawling up her skirt.

Corin pulled out another wad of newspaper and dropped it onto the stage, quickly playing the note that she was sure would stop the snakes only for it to come out as choked as the last few. That sent some of the snakes slithering backstage, several crawling up the legs of Sienna. Sienna on an instinct grabbed the object nearest her and started rapidly swinging it at the snakes.

Corin reached into the bell of her saxophone and pulled out a final wad of paper, dropping it to the floor, and then played the note once more. The snakes stopped as the note came out clearly and she continued playing her tune, the snakes all gathering around her and dancing in a circle. When the song started to slow down, the snakes all slithered off back to where they came from. That left most of the campers panting and frightened from the snakes.

Chris stepped out from the stage, looked around for snakes, and then turned to the camera. "Okay, let's see what Chef gives that performance." The Chef-O-Meter popped up above him and the bar slid to her score. "A three. Looks like it's still a tie. Whoever this last act for the Tortoises up, if they beat a score of six then they win! If not, then we'll have to do this all over again!" The campers who weren't too scared out of their minds to speak groaned at that. "So, here's… somebody representing the Tortoises!"

"Well, go on Glisa! Go out there!" Sienna told the party animal.

"I can't, chica, my violin is destroyed."

That was when Sienna realized that the object she'd been defending herself with had been Glisa's violin and that it lay on the ground dented and bent at the neck, some of the strings hanging in loose curls torn from the instrument.

"Crap! Morty," the ladies' man turned to the queen bee when he was addressed, "who do we have out there who can perform for us?"

Morty peeked out at the Tortoises' bleachers and saw who was left. "Well, Kit-Kat looks too scared to move, Aaron's holding his nose in pain so I can assume he got bit by a snake, Daphne looks paler than humanly possible, Riley sucks at playing the drums, and Irving's soccer ball was popped when a snake bit it."

"So who does that leave?" Sienna asked him.

"Um…" he scanned the bleachers before laying eyes on the one unharmed member of the Tremendous Tortoises. "Kyra."

"Crap."

* * *

"Go on Kyra, tell Chef your story." Sienna shoved the childish girl onto the stage and she walked to the center, smiling at the audience and giving a snake-bitten Russell and little wave, which he returned with an embarrassed facial expression.

"Okay, guys, this is the story of the Bunny in the Snowstorm…" she bent backwards and put her hands on the ground, curving into a backbend. "It all started with a bunny outside searching for food when a snowflake landed on his head…"

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Twenty Minutes Later…

"So, then the bunny, bear, and their new friend Mr. Wolf find themselves curled around a nice warm fire drinking hot cocoa and toasting marshmallows. And then they lived happily ever after. The end." Kyra uncurled herself from her backbend, bowed to the audience, and then walked offstage. The Tortoises clapped politely (though it hurt most of their snake bitten hands to clap) and the Deer just yawned. Chris walked out on the stage once Kyra was gone.

"Okay, Deer, Tortoises, this is the moment of truth." He said. "If Kyra scored anything higher than a six, then the Tortoises win. If not, then we have to do this all over again."

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Confession Cam

Sienna: "Oh god… we'll be doing this all over again…"

Irving: "Hopefully I can find my harmonica before we have to do the talent show a second time. I wonder where it is…"

Riley: "Did you see all those newspapers I put in Corin's saxophone go flying?!" the prankster cackled hysterically. "That was priceless! My best prank on the island! Maybe I can do it again when we redo the show!"

**End Confession Cam**

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"Okay, and here to present his results himself… Chef Hatchet!" Chef walked onstage and surprised the campers when they saw that he had tears trickling down his cheeks, his eyes bright red. He pushed Chris aside and wiped his nose, standing center stage.

"Kyra's story…" he sniffled, "was the most beautiful, heart-warming story I have heard in a long time. This story made me think back to when I loved, and when I lost, and when I found myself outside in snowstorms. This story touched me. Do you pathetic wastes of air know where it touched me?" When the campers didn't answer his question, Chef patted both hands over his chest. "Kyra's story touched me right here. Right in my heart. I have never heard anything so beautiful." He whimpered and then sniffled once again, choking on a sob. "There aren't many things that make me cry. And that is why I am giving that story…" the Chef-O-Meter appeared above his head and the bar slowly raised, passing the three, the four, the five, and finally the six, until stopping right at the top and dinging. "A nine out of nine."

"We win!" Kyra shouted from backstage. Her teammates erupted in cheers and rushed to congratulate her.

"Deer," Chris said to the losing team. "I'll see you at tonight's Marshmallow Ceremony."

The Deer groaned as the Tortoises lifted Kyra up on their shoulders in victory.

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Confession Cam

Kyra: "I knew my story was awesome. I think this victory should go out to Russell, because he supported me even though he's on the other team!" she waves at the camera. "Thank you Russell! Yosh yosh!"

Russell: "I can't believe it. Her story actually won them the challenge." He shook his head in disbelief. "Wow…"

Lacey: "My song was beaten out by a story about a bunny?!" She glares at the camera. "I hate this show…"

Chef Hatchet: "Tough guys cry all the time, so don't think I'm some sissy! 'Cause I'm not! Crying is the sign of being the toughest man on the island!"

**End Confession Cam**

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The crescent moon shone high in the sky as the Devious Deer filed into the campfire pit from placing their votes. They were still surprised at their loss, most of which completely not believing it, and placed themselves on the various stumps heavily. Chris stood watching with a solemn expression on his face.

"Welcome, Devious Deer, to tonight's Marshmallow Ceremony." Chris greeted in a serious tone. "Tonight, one of you will be leaving Total Drama Island tonight. If you don't receive a marshmallow, you will be sailed off to Playa de Losers, population two soon to be three, and can't come back to the island. EVER." He held up a marshmallow. "The first marshmallow of tonight goes to…" He scanned the group of campers, making eye contact with each one of them, until stopping in front of one. "Lacey."

"Sweet." The host tossed her a marshmallow and she caught it easily.

"The next four marshmallows go to…" he paused again. "Joe Howlett, Tanya, Carrie, and Blair." He tossed the four marshmallows out and then picked up another five. "These next five go to Addy, Jayna, Russell, Haley, and Bren." He tossed out the marshmallows and laid eyes on the two remaining campers. "That just leaves you two."

Kestrel and Corin sat marshmallow-less on their stumps, Corin looking slightly nervous while Kestrel was staring off into space.

"You both performed poorly in the talent show today," Chris said to them, "I mean, bro," he gestured to Kestrel, "you ran off for a butterfly, dude, a butterfly! And bra," he turned to Corin, "you sent snakes on your teammates! Not cool, bra. Not cool."

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Confession Cam

Jayna: "You messed up at the talent show today. That made up my vote."

Addy: "I really didn't want to vote for you, but you kind of did something bad today. I mean, sure, I probably would have done something worse, but still. That was bad."

Bren: "You deserve this vote for your performance at the talent show. That's all I'm gonna say."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"The final marshmallow goes to…" Chris held it up in the air and prepared for his dramatic pause.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Kestrel."

"Cool." Kestrel said, catching the marshmallow. He turned to Corin. "Sorry you got voted off."

"It's okay." The scientist replied, standing up. "You guys were attacked by snakes. Plus, maybe with the competition out of the way I can finally focus on my big experiment."

"What is it?" Blair asked.

"I can't tell you guys until its done, but trust me, it will be big." Corin walked to the Dock of Shame confidently, knowing that she deserved those votes. The Deer waved to her as she sailed off, already taking a beaker out of her pocket.

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Outside the Communal Bathrooms

Riley leaned against the back of the bathrooms in the dark, waiting for Haley to come back from the bonfire ceremony. He heard the Deer filing back to their cabins and smiled when hearing footsteps walk towards him.

"Haley?" he said into the dark.

"Riley?" she replied, fumbling around to find him. Her hand met with his shoulder and he put his hand on top of hers. "That's you, right?"

"Who do you think it is, babe? The Loch Ness Monster?" he pulled her over to stand beside him and dropped his hand, entwining their fingers.

"Who said you could call me babe?" Haley asked him.

"Well, I kind of just figured I could, considering you were willing to sneak away from your team to talk to me." Riley pointed out.

"True."

"So, who'd you guys vote off?"

"Corina."

"Saxophone girl?

"Yeah." She replied. "It's a shame too. She was so nice."

"Being nice doesn't bring you far in life, babe." Riley said with a light laugh.

"I don't know how newspaper got in her saxophone, though." Haley said. "It couldn't have just fallen in there. Hey, you don't know if think somebody might have sabotaged her on your team, do you?"

"Babe, why would anybody do that?"

"I don't know. Maybe if they were mean, condescending, evil, and rude enough they would. I mean, who would do such a horrible thing to somebody as innocent as Corin?" Riley could feel his face start to flush at Haley's words. "It takes a real jerk to sabotage a girl like Corin. They must have just been jealous of her talent of something, or maybe that she was smart! I mean, that's just disgusting to do that to her and-" She was cut off by Riley leaning his head down and shutting her mouth by pressing his lips against hers. She stopped talking instantly and flung her arms around his neck, leaning into him and deepening the kiss.

If it was up to Riley, she'd never find out that it was him who sabotaged Corin.

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The Tortoise Guys' Cabin

Aaron, Tom, and Irving were in the cabins playing Go Fish when a knock at the door interrupted their game. Tom opened the door, surprised to see Kit-Kat on the other side.

"Is Aaron here?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh! The cheesecake!" Aaron hopped from his position and walked over to the fridge, motioning for Kit-Kat to come join him. "It's been long enough, right?"

"Oh yeah, I think it's been sitting for an hour or two extra, actually." The pastry chef replied. Aaron opened the fridge and she reached inside, pulling the cheesecake out. Both were startled, however, by the rectangular lump in the center of the cake.

"Is that supposed to be there?" Aaron asked.

"No. I don't think so." Kit-Kat replied, poking the lump. She was surprised to see that it was hard. "Do you guys have a fork or something in here?"

Aaron reached into the fridge and pulled out a yogurt with a spoon in it and pulled out the spoon, handing it to Kit-Kat. She dug the spoon into the cake and lifted the lump out, but gasping at what it was.

"There it is!" Irving shouted, dropping his Go Fish cards.

Hidden inside the cheesecake and now sitting on the spoon was Irving's harmonica.

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My favorite part of the chapter had to be the snakes and the scene between Riley and Haley, because for some odd reason they're really fun to write together.

**My original intentions for this chapter was actually Kyra getting voted out, believe it or not, but I decided against that when I started writing this because of something that involves her that's going to happen later on. What is it? You'll just have to see…**

**That guy ironing the shirt actually popped up in "Not Quite Famous" when they had cut to commercial to clean up Bridgette's puke. So I don't own him, either.**

**Anyways, I pretty much have planned who's going to be voted out for the next three "episodes", but once I get to the seventh challenge, I'm not all that sure. I have a pretty good idea of who it might be, but I was thinking. What would you say if I asked you guys to vote who goes home for the seventh and eighth challenges, and maybe a couple after that?**

**The last episode (or this chapter and the two chapters before it) hinted at a couple of couples and friendships, though some only briefly. To name the obvious, there was Haley and Riley and obviously the flirting between Sienna and Irving (who knows what's gonna happen there), but there were a few that I hinted on. So, if you kept an eye out in the two chapters, you might have caught a couple of interactions between possible couples (some of which less obvious than others). Just a little hint for you guys there.**

**Anyways (yes I do say that a lot), I really wanted to know what you guys think about the Haley/Riley thing, because I have two possible situations that might go on with those two. So, I'd love opinions on that!**

**See you next update!**


	12. Ep4, Pt1: Flip Flops Would Be Nice

**Have you ever looked at your story traffic and seen the "breakdown by visitor country" area? Well, I did that for the first time today, and it is the weirdest thing. I apparently have had people read some of my stories from Antigua and Barbuda, Kuwait, Guiana, Djibouti, and Singapore. I didn't even know that Singapore was its own country but other than that Djibouti is the only country that I have any idea where it is. I didn't even know that Antigua and Barbuda existed until now. It really makes me wonder how I ever passed Geography back in seventh grade.**

**Anyways, hopefully last chapter's big elimination was a shocker. I personally liked Corin and she was originally going to go farther, but it just didn't play out that way when I typed it up. However, we will see some more of her later on… (hint, hint)**

**I just realized recently that some of the challenges I was going to use would work a lot better in a Total Drama Action: Again! instead of a Total Drama Island: Again!. Hmm… I'll be saving those in a safe place just in case I ever write a sequel (not that I'm even thinking that far ahead considering a lot of my decision making involves cutting up pieces of paper with everybody's name on them and throwing them in a hat). There's one that I'm definitely using that'll come up later in the game that is very TDA compared to the others. It's one that I can't wait to write, though, so hopefully I can stay more TDI oriented while I come up with the challenges leading up to that one.**

**Disclaimer: Honestly, if I owned Total Drama Island, would I be writing fanfiction? No. I'd be sitting in a pile of money and plotting my next plan to torture Courtney next season. I also would have designed Trent with a smaller head and made DJ's hat look a lot less like a yamaca, because I highly doubt he's Jewish.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Hope You Brought Your Flip Flops**

"Last time on Total Drama Island: Again!" Chris said, standing on the dock. The sky was dark, and he'd obviously been recording this just after the Marshmallow Ceremony. "We brought back one of last season's favorites in a challenge I liked to call Revenge of the Talent Show. As expected, chaos happened… but isn't that the best part about the show?" Chris smirked and winked at the camera, shooting it a finger gun.

"During the auditions, we had some surprise feuds, relationships and friendships break out… typical really show, right? Kyra's team rejected her and she ran crying to the dock, only for her to be comforted by a member of the other team: Russell!"

_(A clip of Kyra sitting on the dock crying is shown as Chris talks soon changing to Kyra hugging Russell and him blushing)_

"Meanwhile, both Bren and Riley got hit in the hand, one by a cactus and the other by… well, himself. Haley accompanied Bren to get his hand checked out by Chef, and on the way back ran into Riley. The pair then snuck off for some alone time." Chris wiggled his eyebrows. "Too bad these two have several obstacles in their way: namely a shy little brother, Riley's ego, and the fact that they're on separate teams."

_(A clip of Haley and Riley taking the scenic route in order to avoid Addy, Kestrel, and Russell appears on the screen)_

"Lacey recruited Carrie and Joe Howlett to go 'scope out the other team'… in other words, _sabotage. _The Tortoises ended up catching Carrie stealing the harmonica after an unexpected groping of Irving's butt, though they eventually let her go. Yeah… big mistake. She ended up getting away with the instrument and handing it over to Lacey, the harmonica never to be seen again until the end of the episode."

_(Irving holding Carrie up by her wrist is shown, which flashes to Carrie handing the harmonica over to Lacey)_

"At the talent show, Lacey and Joe Freeman destroyed my good rep, Kestrel got distracted by a butterfly, Tom's bow and arrow skills resulted in hitting yours truly in the forehead, and Corin's snake charming practically maimed half of the cast."

_(Images of all the events described flash across the screen)_

"In the end it was Kyra who saved the day, winning the show with her story about a bunny in a snowstorm, which left Chef bawling like a baby. The Devious Deer ended up making Corin say her goodbyes last night, leaving with her dignity still intact."

_(Kyra doing her backbend, Chef crying, and Corin sailing away on the boat appear on the screen, though the image pauses much longer than necessary on Chef crying)_

"Who'll be voted off this episode? You'll see at the most _dramatic_ campfire ceremony ever on Total. Drama. Island. Again!"

_(Theme song!)_

**

* * *

**

The Deer Girls' Cabin

"We _so_ should have voted out Kestrel."

"No we shouldn't! Kestrel's cool!"

"Corin was pretty cool, too."

"Yeah, but Kestrel can paint with his feet. And he knows things about fairies. And he said that he had a psychic dream that told him all about the butterflyje!" Addy listed, counting off on her fingers. "Has Corin ever had a psychic dream?"

"Maybe. She was really smart, so you never know." Blair shrugged, tossing a ball against the wall beside her bed. "Maybe if your IQ is above a certain level, you suddenly have a psychic connection with Mother Nature."

"That'd be uber cool!"

Most of the Deer girls were just lounging around the cabin, some regretting the loss of Corin. Addy was playing with her hair when she wasn't talking with Blair, who was throwing a baseball against the wall closest to her, sometimes throwing it against Tanya's foot, which dangled off of the bed above her. Tanya was filing her nails to a curve that was up to her standards, shrieking and threatening Blair whenever the baseball hit her leg. Lacey had a pair of headphones on, playing music at a volume that could probably be heard down at the Mess Hall, and was scribbling in a notebook. Carrie had her bag of belongings on the bed beneath Lacey's and was rummaging through it trying to find a match to a pair of shoes. Jayna had left them earlier saying that she and Jake were going to attempt to find the seagull she'd saved the previous night. Nobody had seen Haley since they left the Marshmallow Ceremony.

Blair threw the baseball against Tanya's leg and the drama queen shrieked, leaning over the edge of her bed and looking down at the tomboy. "If that baseball hits me again," she threatened, "I will personally write your name on it and then throw it at Chef."

"Oh, you're so tough." Blair rolled her eyes. "I'm so scared of the short girl."

"I am much taller with my heels on, for your information!" Tanya argued.

"Yeah, but you're not all that scary without them."

"Do you _want_ me to file your ears off?"

"No thanks." Blair replied, throwing her ball against the wall. The girls sat quietly, the only sounds being Carrie's clothes moving, Blair's baseball hitting the wall, and Lacey's obnoxiously loud music. After a minute, Tanya slammed her nail file down on the bed.

"Lacey! What are you listening to that you have to play so loudly?" she shouted at her teammate. The purple-streaked brunette didn't respond. "Lacey!"

Carrie reached an arm up to Lacey's bed and tapped her leg once. Lacey removed her headphones when realizing somebody was talking to her. "What?"

"Are you listening to somebody getting murdered?" Tanya asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"All I can hear from your headphones is somebody screaming and somebody pounding on a drum. What the heck are you listening to?"

"None of your beeswax."

"Well, do you have to play it so loud?"

"Yes. Definitely, actually." Lacey replied. "Why? You want me to turn it up louder?"

"Is that even possible?!"

"Want me to show you?"

"I have a nail file and I'm not afraid to use-"

"You will never believe what I just heard!" Tanya and Lacey's feuding was interrupted by Jayna running into the cabin.

"Is it as lame as the last thing I guessed at?" Blair asked her, reflecting back to her running into the bathroom the previous night.

"No, and my seagull wasn't lame!" Jayna shouted. "Anyways, I was waiting for Jake outside his cabin, and when he went in there, I heard him start talking to Irving and Aaron. So I listened in, mostly just because I couldn't help it, and it turns out that they found Irving's harmonica in a cheesecake!"

Addy, Tanya, and Blair gasped. Carrie and Lacey didn't react.

"A cheesecake?!" Addy shouted. "OMGG, I _love _cheesecake! It's like, uber tasty. Where'd they get cheesecake?"

"Kit-Kat." Lacey replied casually.

"How do _you_ know?" Tanya asked.

"I put the harmonica in the cheesecake."

Her roommates just stared. "Really?"

"Carrie helped… after pinching Irving's butt, of course."

"Hey, that was a total accident!" Carrie shouted when the room erupted in laughter. "I'm serious!"

Addy started mindlessly chanting, "Carrie and Irving sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"It was really an accident! I swear!" The girls didn't stop laughing. Carrie just groaned and fell backwards on her bed, pushing her hair back in embarrassment.

* * *

The next morning the campers sat at their tables, already equipped with a watery purple substance that Chef had dubbed "breakfast". Nobody could ignore the fact that the slop would bubble whenever you touched it and that it looked more like it should've been used to poison somebody rather than be fed to innocent teenagers.

Irving and Aaron were constantly glaring at Carrie, Irving for the bad treatment to his harmonica, Aaron for the bad treatment to his cheesecake. Whenever Carrie made eye contact with one of them, she held it for as long as possible and then gave them a conquering smile, which was usually returned with a sneer. Lacey, who couldn't help but know it was her fault, was watching the whole ordeal guiltily.

Blair was attempting to pour her goopy breakfast into Tanya's shoes, but the perfectionist kept slapping her hand away and growling something about filing her ears off just before the liquid made its way off the plate. Kestrel was showing Addy how he could draw a picture of a dragon in the goop using his fork.

Glisa was mourning the loss of her violin while Kit-Kat listened to her complain, always the generous shoulder to cry on. Tom and Morty were talking about girls (big surprise there) with Joe Freeman listening in and smiling goofily. Daphne, who was sitting next to Tom because the spot next to Kit-Kat was taken, was making disgusted faces at their conversation.

Kyra was constantly waving at Russell, who just shyly looked away whenever she did. Haley and Riley were mouthing things to each other from across the room, the only flirting they could do with their teams around. They thought they were completely undiscovered in doing this… until Sienna saw Riley wink at her.

"Who are you winking at?" the queen bee asked.

"Why do you care?" Riley retorted, not taking his eyes off of Haley.

"Are you winking at Haley?" Sienna asked, following his line of sight.

"Possibly." Riley replied. "Why? You jealous?"

"You can't be serious." Sienna shook her head. "You hooked up with a girl on the other team?"

"I never said that."

"But you implied it… don't wink at her while I'm talking to you!" Sienna slapped the side of Riley's head and he yelped. "You'd better not throw any challenges for her!"

Riley snorted at that. "You think I'm that nice or obsessed? What do I look like? _Trent_?"

"Whatever. You'd just better not do anything suspicious."

That was the moment that Chris Mclean decided to burst through the Mess Hall doors clad in a Hawaiian shirt, sandals, and sunglasses.

"Dudes and dudettes, who's ready to hit the beach?!"

Everybody cheered and wooed at that with the exception of Daphne, who wasn't all that into the sun in general.

"Wait." the albino aristocrat said, cutting the cheering short by holding up a hand. "What's the catch?"

"What do you mean?" Chris asked, lowering his sunglasses down onto his nose and raising an eyebrow.

"What's the challenge?"

"Oh, I'll tell you when we get there. Just go get your bathing suits and meet me back here in ten minutes."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "If Riley pulls anything for Haley, he's _so_ getting voted off." The queen bee said. "Fortunately, I don't think he's all that nice, so I don't think I'll have to worry about that."

Daphne: "Albinos and the beach just don't work together." she explained. "Sitting at the beach is constantly sitting under the sun. Unfortunately, I can burn my skin in less than twenty minutes. Plus, now I'll have to watch perverts like Tom and Riley fawn over all the girls in their bikinis." She sticks out her tongue in disgust. "Such distasteful people…"

Riley: "Can you imagine Haley in a bikini?" he smiles and wiggles his eyebrows at the thought. "That'd definitely make my day."

Chris: "Honestly, I just wanted to go to the beach myself." The host confessed. "I really need to spice up my tan." He lifted an arm and examined its color. "I'm looking a little pale."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Ten minutes later, the campers were all wearing bathing suits and had been loaded up onto a bus. Kyra and Addy were already attempting to start up a sing-along, Tom was fawning over the sight of Sienna's bare legs, and Riley was attempting to position himself for the best view down Haley's bikini top. The unmoving vehicle was filled with chatter at a high volume, seeming more like a bus full of elementary school kids than teenagers. The babbling stopped, however, when Chef Hatchet stepped onto the bus. The large man was dressed in a black wetsuit and had a pair of lime green swim goggles on. He had a snorkel in his mouth and had an inflatable float in the shape of a duck around his waist. It took a lot of the campers' power to hold in their laughter.

"_What_ are you staring at?!" Chef shouted. Silence. "That's what I thought."

"Move, move, I want to get a seat…" Chef was pushed aside by Chris, who was dressed in his usual shirt over a pair of blue swim trunks. He looked at the bus with a glare on his face, and then turned back to Chef. "See? I told you that if you took too long adjusting your inflatable duck, I wouldn't get a seat!"

"You know I need my floatie if I'm going anywhere near water, pretty boy!" Chef argued back, sitting in the driver's seat (floatie and all) and starting the vehicle up. **(Note: Because we all know it takes a manly man to wear a floatie.) **Meanwhile, Chris glared at Joe Freeman (who was in the front seat) until Joe panicked and jumped out of the seat. Chris sat down in the seat comfortably as Joe ran down the aisle until cramming himself in the nearest seat, pushing Blair face first into the window. The tomboy glared at the comic artist and threatened to have him meet her feminine side, so he jumped to his feet and quickly squished himself into the seat across the aisle. Unfortunately for him, that was the seat that Haley and Riley had been sitting in, and the prankster had shoved him out of the seat and into the aisle as fast as he'd come. That was when the bus decided to start and Joe Freeman found himself sliding down the aisle to the back of the bus and slamming into the emergency exit because of Chef's reckless driving.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Because the campers were away from the Confession Cam, they were all doing their confessionals after the bus was empty. They would sit in the back seat of the bus and a camera was propped up on the seat across from them.

Joe Freeman: "I don't think I've ever felt that hated… knowwhatImean?" the boy with the strange hairdo spoke to the camera. "First Chris kicked me out of my seat, and then Blair scared the pee out of me, and then Riley shoved me into the aisle! Oh, and then Chef started the bus, so I slammed the back of my head into the emergency exit." He rubbed the back of his head and winced as if to prove his point. "And here I was thinking that they actually didn't mind me."

Riley: "Joe? Oh, I don't have anything against him." The prankster shrugged. "He was in the seat with me and my girl though. If you ask me, I was pushing him out of the seat for his own safety, if you know what I mean." Riley smirked and wiggled his eyebrows in a perverted manner.

Blair: "You know, scaring off Charlie Brown really made me feel good inside." She leaned back in the Confession Cam and propped her arms up behind her head. "I'm not usually mean to people for no reason, but he was in my seat. I wasn't sharing with him."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Joe was finally saved from a bus ride of sliding around a dirty floor by Bren, who picked him up by the arm and made room for him in the seat beside him.

"Thanks, man." Joe smiled at the martial artist.

"No problem. I couldn't just leave you sliding." Bren replied with a shrug.

Before Joe could respond, the bus lurched to a stop and he was jolted forward.

"We're here!" Chef shouted, getting up and attempting to fit through the door with his floatie around his waist.

"What was that, a five minute bus ride?" Joe Howlett asked as he pushed his way into the aisle to attempt to exit the bus.

"Seven minutes, actually." Chris corrected, stepping through the bus doors.

"And you wasted your time loading us up onto a bus for that?"

"Hey, we wanted to see if Chef could still drive. He could be getting senile, you know."

"I ain't old!" Chef growled from outside.

Once the campers had all loaded off the bus, they found themselves lined up on the sand of a beach. Some of them recognized this as the site that the past campers had come back to during Total Drama Action during Beach Blanket Bogus. Several people seemed slightly awkward in their bathing suits. Joe Freeman was scratching the back of his bruised head awkwardly. Daphne looked completely out of place in her full body wetsuit and full brimmed sun hat, both in a deep black color, when standing beside self confident Glisa in her neon blue bikini. Addy was attempting to see how long she could stare at the sun. Aaron kept pulling out the front of his trunks and checking something out, to which he got a lot of strange looks.

"Okay, since nobody else seems to want to ask…" Tom spoke up. "What the heck are we doing here?"

"Good question Tom," Chris, who before then seemed to be cleaning his sunglasses, said. "I guess this would be the best time to introduce today's challenge: Sun, Sweat, and Sand!"

"Sun?!" Daphne repeated with a disappointed look on her face.

"Sweat?!" Sienna asked, pushing a lock of her perfect hair out of her face.

"Sand?!" Tanya shrieked, obviously worried about the mess it would make.

"Yes, Sun, Sweat, and Sand!" Chris smiled. "Today's challenge is a simple one: you guys are going to be engaging in an all-out sand fight!" The disgusted looks on Daphne, Sienna, and Tanya's faces just got worse. "The rules of the game are easy: you attempt to get sand on your enemies as many ways as possible. Chuck it at them, bury them in it, do some sweet aerial attack and dive bomb them, I don't care!" He swooped his arm down mimicking a plain dive bombing when he said 'sweet aerial attack'. "The goal is to have the opposing team have the most sand on them at the end of the game. Oh, and if you find yourself in need of some supplies, we have them…" He paused for a moment.

"What are you stopping for?" Jake asked.

"I'm waiting for somebody to ask 'where'."

"Okay, then." Kit-Kat said. "_Where_, Chris?"

"Thank you Kit-Kat. And the answer is… out there!" Both of Chris hands pointed out to the ocean. "That's right, there are buckets and shovels tied up underwater way out there. You're going to need really good swimmers and divers to get your equipment. Oh, and remember that the more water you have on you the more the sand will stick, so be careful. We also have no towels, no showers, and no hairdryers until we get back to camp, so really if you're going to want to wipe yourself down, you're going to have to use your natural resources."

"Oh yay…" Sienna rolled her eyes. "We get to rub ourselves down with leaves."

"You can make anything you want to defend yourselves, whether it's out of sand or out of something else you find in the area." Chris gestured to in the distance, where you could see trees. "You can use anything you guys have on you too, though I don't think many of you will be willing to bare all for the camera just so you can use your tops."

"And they think _I'm_ the pervert." Tom commented.

"So, where will you and Chef be while all this is happening?" Haley asked.

"Well, I know I'll be tanning somewhere over there in my handy dandy beach chair." Chris said, pointing down the shore to where a folding beach chair sat under the sun. "And Chef already looks occupied." The camera shifted over to where the muscular man was sitting on the shore making a sand sculpture of a mermaid in the sand. Right this moment he was adding lips onto her face, patting the sand delicately.

"What if we _accidentally-_" Lacey started to ask.

Chris's eyebrows suddenly furrowed and his face became stern as he interrupted her, "If you get any sand on me whatsoever, you die."

"Darn it." Lacey snapped her fingers in disappointment.

"Why do you all look so disappointed?" Chris asked after studying the campers. "I didn't mention that the winning team gets a beach party?" Most peoples' expressions lit up after that, several letting out a "woo!" at the mention of a reward. "Okay, Deer to my left, Tortoises to my right. Once you guys are a safe distance from each other, I'll give you a minute to strategize and then it's all systems go."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Daphne: "I swear if Riley attempts to pull any sand pranks on me, he is going down…" the wetsuit-clad aristocrat had a glare on her face. "I know people. They can take him down."

Lacey: "This challenge will just be too easy for me." The nonconformist rolled her eyes and adjusted her blue bikini top. "I mean, I'm from New England. We get all kinds of weather. My mom drives me down to the beach every summer and I'm known for chucking snowballs at my brothers. So a sand ball fight? Piece of cake."

Jake: "We will not be having a moment like when Katie and Sadie wiped their butts with poison ivy this season." The nature lover said to the camera. "If anybody wants to know if the plant they're wiping the sand off of themselves with is poisonous, they've got me. Hopefully they're smart enough to ask me before they do it, though."

Jayna: "Swimming underwater to get that equipment will be no sweat for me." The environmentalist insisted. "I can hold my breath underwater for _nine hours_! A short dive underwater to get a bucket is nothing for me."

Sienna: "I swear, if anybody gets sand in my hair, I will personally claw their eyes out with my perfectly manicured nails." The queen bee glowered at the camera. "Yeah, I'm talking to you Tanya. You too Carrie."

Irving: "Maybe I'll get lucky and I can get some sand in Carrie's eyes." The jock smiled at the thought. "I mean, sure that's low, but that'll teach her to mess with the Tremendous Tortoises… me in particular."

Carrie: "Why do I get the feeling that two people in a row just came to this camera and talked bad about me?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

When the camera came back to the present scene, it showed Chris sitting in his beach chair with his arms behind his head attempting to soak up some rays. He looked up at the camera and smiled.

"We're gonna take a short break before they start up the competition." The sadistic host spoke. "But, just to help out you guys at home, it's recap time!"

**Chris McLean's Totally Awesome Guide to Sun, Sweat, and Sand**

**Who?: The Devious Deer versus The Tremendous Tortoises**

**Where?: On the beach a couple feet away from Chef Hatchet's sexy sand mermaid.**

**When?: Right after the commercial break, dudes and dudettes!**

**Why?: Because Chris said so.**

**What?: A totally awesome sand fight to see which team can get out with the least sand on them. These idiots can use whatever they have around them and on them, but if that's not enough we have some equipment tied to the bottom of the ocean that they can swim out and get. Getting the equipment comes with a price, though: for one thing, the wetter you are the stickier the sand is, and for another thing, the equipment is **_**way**_** out there. Seriously. They'll never find it.**

**What's In It for Them?: An awesome beach party just for there team… well, and they're safe from elimination. Duh.**

**What's In It for You at Home?: Well, you get to see a bunch of teenagers throwing sand at each other like idiots, possibly some drowning just so they can get something at stupid as a bucket, and if that's enough you can see some hot chicks in bikinis. If that's enough for a completely gorgeous TV host, it's enough for you.**

**

* * *

**

Yes, this update is much shorter than the last couple have been. This is also another one of my many after midnight updates. Hopefully you don't mind.

**I have no idea who will be voted off this challenge, just to tell you. Unfortunately, I think it will end up being another one of the characters I like. Maybe not. I'm still trying to decided between three people. Unfortunately for the next challenge to work the way I want it to, the person voted off has to be a guy. Maybe it doesn't, though. I dunno.**

**Did I ever mention that there will be a couple of chapters that seem to focus on a couple of certain campers? I mean, last chapter the Talent Show was saved by Kyra, so I guess you could say that focused on her. But for some of them, I might end up focusing a little more on certain campers, just because some of the episodes of the real TDI seemed to do that.**

**Anyways, the readers' question for this chapter (which was in some way inspired by the lovely GossipQueen101 and her Freddie Stroma references)... drum roll please...: Is there a celebrity (athlete, actor, musician, cartoon character, whatever the heck Paris Hilton is, or something) that reminds you of your character(s), or maybe another character in the story? (I'd give you an example, but I'm still looking for the perfect Lacey with no luck whatsoever. Maybe somebody can find a look alike?)**

**Oh wait, I just thought of an example for the reader question! I always thought that Jeff Probst (the host of Survivor) looked like Chris McLean with shorter hair.**

**Questions? Comments? Concerns? Looking for spoilers? Just wanna talk? Don't be afraid to review or PM me!**


	13. Ep4 Pt2: Get the Sand Out of Your Shorts

**¡Gracias por los comentarios! I think that's Spanish for thanks for the reviews (or at least I hope it is. I know los comentarios is comments, so I figured it would work the same way).**

**Anyways, I really had to get this chapter done because I cannot wait for the next challenge. Unlike this challenge, I've had the next and ninth challenges already planned out with the people who are in it being interchangeable. I've told Clumsy in Action and GossipQueen101 (thanks to both of you!) about it so far, and both of them loved the idea, so hopefully I can get it out soon. Oh, and the next challenge (day, episode, whatever you want to call it) is when I think I'll try out letting you guys vote. Hopefully that will go well.**

**Yes, I am aware that some of the things they are doing with this sand are against the laws of physics. No, sand doesn't stick to itself well enough to make a giant boulder. It does clump into balls and barriers, though.**

**The title of the chapter was inspired by an episode of South Park, except for the sand Kyle had to get out wasn't in his shorts. It was somewhere else. Yuck.**

**Disclaimer: The only things I own in this story are Lacey and the challenge idea. Everything else belongs to either whoever owns Total Drama Island or Chris. Oh, and Chef Hatchet's sand mermaid belongs to Chef.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: (Maybe You'd Be Much Nicer if You'd) Get the Sand Out of Your Shorts**

"Group huddle!" Addy shouted to the Devious Deer as they got to their side of the beach.

"Wait," Bren said to Addy, who he was walking near. "_You_ have a strategy?"

"No." Addy shrugged. "But Tanya does." She pointed her finger to the drama queen, who was already fidgeting because her feet had sand on them. "She thought I was louder than she was, though."

"I don't know. She _does_ yell a lot." Bren replied as they walked towards the group. Addy giggled at that as they joined the huddle that was being formed. The only people who weren't in the huddle were Lacey and Blair, who stood just outside of it.

"Get closer; we can't let them hear my top secret plan!" Tanya insisted.

"I don't touch other people." Blair replied dully.

"Especially not while I'm in my bathing suit." Lacey agreed. She and Blair high fived at that.

"Well, could you guys get at least a _little_ closer?" Tanya asked. Both girls took a single step closer to the group, laughing at Tanya's reaction.

"We're closer." Blair shrugged.

"Fine, whatever." Tanya turned back to the gathered team. "I think what we should do is…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tanya: "Well, I think I've mentioned before that I hate Sienna," the drama queen said, thinking back to the past few episodes. "But I changed my mind. I don't hate Sienna. I simply dislike her. Now, Blair? I _hate_ Blair."

Lacey: "Blair's cool. She reminds me a lot of a more boyish version of myself." She pushed her hair out of her eyes before stopping dead still. "Wait; don't tell her that, okay? I really don't want to meet her feminine side!"

Blair: "I don't like Tanya." The tomboy shrugged. "That's all there is to it."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, who here is not willing to go in the water?" Jake asked the Tremendous Tortoises, who he had somehow gotten to gather into a group. Sienna and Kyra's hands went up. "Why not?"

"I'm afraid of large bodies of water." Kyra confessed.

"I'm not a very strong swimmer." Sienna replied. "That and I don't want to get my hair wet."

"Oh, that's a good reason, too!" Kyra nodded.

"Okay then," Tom took over for Jake, taking on a serious tone like some kind of army commander. "We're going to need a couple of people with a good arm, who thinks they can do that?"

Morty, Irving, and Riley's hands went up.

"Cool."

"Oh, oh, I have the _best_ idea!" Aaron said to Tom.

"Not now, Aaron, I think this will work best." Tom said. "We can try your strategy next."

"Fine."

"Okay, so here's what our plan is…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Aaron: "We should have used my strategy first. It would have worked…"

Riley: "Maybe if I'm lucky Haley will choose to take off her top and use it as a slingshot or something…" he spaces out with a goofy smile on his face, obviously daydreaming of the scene.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, teams…" Chris said when the two teams seemed to be ready; both lined up facing each other since they couldn't touch the sand until Chris said go. "On your marks… get set… let's get sandy!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Howlett: He is laughing hysterically in the bus seat, clutching his sides in amusement. "Did he _really_ say 'let's get sandy'?" he laughed again. "I mean, really? Can't he pay somebody to write this stuff for him or something?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

When Chris finished shouting, the teams got right to their strategies. Jayna and Kestrel hopped in the water for the Deer while Haley, Blair, Russell, Carrie, and Addy started to pile up sand into a barrier. Bren, Joe, and Lacey had started creating balls of sand by wetting some sand and squeezing it in their fists, obviously planning to chuck it. Tanya seemed to be supervising.

For the Tortoises nobody jumped into the water just yet, though about half of their team was already making a sand barrier. Riley, Irving, Morty, and Tom were making sand clumps similar to the way the Deer were, though Riley's looked more like some kind of a boulder than a ball. Once they seemed to be equipped with enough clumps of sand, the four boys started to chuck it at the other team, the sand flying high into the air and coming down on the other players. Several of the throws fell short, though Morty's nailed Blair, who had been looking down at the time, in the chest. The tomboy looked up and wiggled both of her middle fingers in Morty's direction.

"Nice shot," Riley said to Morty.

"Thanks," Morty replied, chucking another in the Deer's direction. He looked over his shoulder at the prankster only to see him attempting to pick his sand boulder up over his head. "What are you doing?"

"What… does it… ouch… look ... like I'm doing?" Riley said between grunts as he attempted to lift the sand ball. It was a miracle the thing stuck together as he hoisted it onto his back.

"Well, I'd say it looks like you're being an idiot." Morty replied.

Riley looked between Morty and the sand boulder several times until standing up straight, letting the giant pile fall to the ground. "You're right. This _is_ stupid." He said. "It needs to be bigger."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Riley: "That Morty's a genius. Of course my sand boulder needed to be bigger. The bigger, the better!"

Morty: He sighs and shakes his head disappointedly. "That's not what I meant…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Can we throw them yet, Tanya?" Lacey asked as she packed another sand ball tightly and put it on top of the pile she had stacked at her feet.

"Just wait a second," Tanya said, watching the status of their sand barrier. The pile of sand seemed to be well on its way to becoming a wall. She looked out to the ocean and saw Jayna dunking her head under and coming back up only to shake her head no to Kestrel.

"Watch out Tanya!" Addy shouted.

"Watch out for wh-Ahh!" Tanya moved her head just in time to dodge a sand ball. The sand whooshed past her ear and kept going. If that had hit her, it would have hit hard. She looked over to the Tortoises' side to see Irving and Tom high five. "Okay, you guys can start throwing now!"

"Sweet!" Joe Howlett commented as he, Bren, and Lacey started to chuck the sand balls over to the other side. Joe's landed just short of the sand they were piling up, Lacey's landed right on top of the wall, and Bren's hit Joe Freeman in the head.

"I got him!" Bren said to the other two sand throwers, grabbing another clump and chucking it.

On the other side of the beach, the Tortoises noticed that their opponents had finally started to throw, which just made Tom, Morty, and Irving start to throw faster and harder. Riley was crouched over rolling sand up into a giant boulder the same way you'd roll snow into part of a snowman.

Irving hurled another sand ball at the other team at the same time Joe Howlett slung his. The two orbs of sand collided midway and fell to the ground, disappointing both guys.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kestrel and Jayna were still out in the ocean attempting to find anything that they could use. Jayna's eyes were already turning red from opening them in the salt water. They were very far from the shore already and still hadn't found anything. Chris had made the right choice of words when saying they'd put the items "way out there." These items were _actually_ way out there… way, way, _way_ out there.

"Is that a bucket?" Kestrel asked Jayna, treading water for a moment. Jayna looked down and saw a red object somewhere way under the water with fish swimming around it. It definitely looked like a bucket.

"I think so." The environmentalist replied. "You want to get it or should I?"

"You can get it." Kestrel replied. "I'll keep looking."

Jayna nodded in agreement and sucked in a deep breath, diving under the water. Her dirty blonde hair floated around her as she dove down, her eyes slightly stinging and blurry from the salt water. She kept swimming down, feeling fish swim past her and skimming her arms. This bucket was tied up really, really deep.

When Jayna finally neared the bucket, she realized that it was tied up by a rope, the other side tucked under a rock. Little fish swam mindlessly around it and over it, never stopping to actually look at it. The environmentalist kicked her feet and swam towards the rock that the rope was tied under, lifting it up.

That was when her eyes went wide. There was a hole under that rock, and sticking out of that hole was a tentacle… which was wrapped around the end of the string.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Jayna: "Okay. Chris is good." The environmentalist admitted. "Actually, he's really good. I mean, first he abuses sharks so that we can battle over them, and now he's conning the poor little squid into holding a string for him? I'd say it's animal abuse, but I'm pretty sure he pays them."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Back on the beach, the Tortoises' sand barrier was starting to look like a rounded out wall, already practically covering the crouching campers that were making it. Several of the builders had been hit by sand balls, Kit-Kat even getting nailed right in the center of her forehead. Luckily, it was a really small one so it didn't hurt all that bad, though she did get sand in her eyes.

Tom, Morty, and Irving were still chucking the sand balls at the Deer, though now they had Kyra making the ammunition for them. Riley was still looking dung beetle-esque as he rolled his sand boulder up. Kyra rolled several clumps of sand together and handed them all to Tom, who hurled the quintet of sand balls at full force towards Lacey.

On the other side of the beach, Lacey spotted the sand balls coming straight at her and panicked, not wanting to get hit. There were five of them making a beeline for her at all different heights, so unfortunately if she ducked or moved, she would probably still get hit because she'd hesitated for so long. So, she did the only thing she could think of at the moment.

"Hey Joe, come here! It's really, really important, so come fast!" she shouted, already feeling guilty for doing it. The movie geek, who had been standing a couple feet away from her launching sand, walked over to her and Lacey did the first thing that came to mind. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him in front of her.

"Lacey!" Joe Howlett shouted, realizing she'd just put him straight into the line of fire. It was too late to move, though, and he got hit by all five of the throws, one in the face. Lacey stopped using him as a shield and ran out from behind him once she knew that all the throws had hit him. "What was _that?_"

"Um…" Lacey paused for a minute and then pointed to Bren, who was rolling a clump of sand in his hands. "Bren did it!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Lacey: "I guess I could be considered a bit… _impulsive_." She said. "I do a lot of stupid things because I act before I think. I mean, there was making Chef Hatchet mad at me the first minute I saw him, breaking into the Mess Hall, attempting to sabotage the other team in the Talent Show, letting Carrie take the blame for taking the harmonica…" She has a discomfited expression on her face. "Just add using Joe as a shield to that list."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Kestrel had swam away from Jayna and had spotted something under the water that looked a lot like a shovel, so he'd dove under to see.

Under the water, he could see that the shovel was tied by the handle to a thick piece of seaweed using a rope. It seemed like if he pulled hard enough, the seaweed would just pop right out of the dirt. So he put two hands on the plant and yanked upward… only to find himself sprayed in the eyes with a black substance. The artist blindly swam back up to the surface without the shovel, and wiped his face off when he resurfaced. He then dunked his head under the water to see what had squirted him only to see a gray-white squid peek its head out from inside the patch of seaweed, ink floating in the water around it.

* * *

"Oh, oh, can I throw one?" Kyra asked Irving, already holding a sphere of sand in her hand.

"Why not? We need all the help we can get." Irving replied.

"Yay!" Kyra cheered. She brought back her arm and flung the sand up into the air with all of her power. She watched the Deer, expecting her throw to hit Tanya in the head… only for something to land on top of her head. She put a hand up to her hair and felt what was in it, frowning when she realized that she was hit in the head with her own ball of sand. She rolled up another pile of sand and tried again, this time trying to aim a little straighter. She was sure it was going to hit Tanya in the head on this throw.

"Hey! Where'd dis come from?" Kyra turned her head to see that Glisa now had a pile of sand on her head.

"Sorry, Glisa!" Kyra smiled embarrassedly and picked up another sand ball. This one was going to hit one of the Deer. It had to. She brought her arm back and then whipped it forward, the sand flying into the air. This time, it did go straight to the other side.

Kyra watched in excitement as the sand flew in a straight line to the Deer's side of the beach, going in a straight line towards one of them. Her smile faded, however, when she realized who she was about to hit.

"NO!!!" she screamed as her victim was hit and fell backwards. She stared in horror at what she'd just done.

Kyra had hit Russell in the face.

"RUSSELL?!" Kyra shouted to the other side of the beach. Several of her teammates turned their heads when realizing that the childish girl was calling out to a member of the other team. "Russell, are you okay?!"

Back on the Deer's side, Russell was lying flat on his back in the sand, pushed back by the impact of the throw. He was muttering something in return to Kyra with a blush on his face when realizing that some of his teammates had turned their attention to him.

Haley nodded and shouted to the other side, "He's okay Kyra! Just a little flustered!"

"Okay, thank y-OOF!" That was when Kyra was nailed in the face with a ball of sand and fell backwards.

"Take that!" all of the heads on the Deer team turned to Blair, who had gotten to her feet and had chucked a ball of sand at Kyra. She had a satisfied look on her face and had her arms crossed triumphantly over her chest.

"Why'd you just randomly throw that?!" Tanya asked, angry that somebody had strayed from her plan.

"Because she hit Russell." Blair replied. "It's payback since I knew he wouldn't throw one back at her."

"Is she okay?" Russell asked, sitting up and looking over to the Tortoises. Kyra was lying on her back in the sand, most likely complaining about having sand in her eyes.

"She's fine Russell, don't worry about her." Blair said to him. She nudged him in the arm. "I've got your back."

"We need a new strategy!" Tanya said to her teammates, walking over to stand with the wall builders. Joe, Bren, and Lacey moved towards her to hear her plan, still throwing as they did so. "We need to find some way to get more sand on them at a time since their throws seemed to be more accurate than ours. Anybody have any ideas?"

"What if," Bren spoke, "we get our fastest or strongest players to go over there and kick and throw sand onto them from a close distance? We can get piles of it on them if we do that."

"I like that." Carrie said to Bren.

"Fine." Tanya approved.

"Bren, I think you should go over there since you're our strongest player," Carrie said to the martial artist, "and Addy because you're one of our fastest." The hyper girl hopped to her feet when she heard her name and slung an arm around Bren's shoulders.

"We can be distraction buddies!" Addy said to the martial artist, who found himself not liking the term "distraction buddies".

"Blair," Tanya instructed the tomboy, "Since you obviously have an arm, go throw with Joe and Lacey. I'll help Russell, Haley, and Carrie with the wall."

"Wow, I'm amazed," Blair mocked, picking a handful of sand up as she got up off of the ground. "You're actually going to get sand on your hands?"

"I'm making a sacrifice for our team." Tanya answered, kneeling in the sand between Haley and Carrie and starting to bunch up the sand.

"Hey," Haley said a moment later. "What ever happened to Jayna and Kestrel?"

* * *

To answer Haley's question, Jayna and Kestrel were both caught up in underwater battles with squids. Kestrel's squid was small, and right now was stuck to his face spraying ink all over him as its method of defense. The artist kept trying to yank the squid off so he could just grab the shovel and go, but the little creature's tentacles were practically crazy glued to his face. Whenever one came loose it would make a sickening popping sound that was audible even under the water.

Jayna's squid was not as little as she had thought it was. She had attempted to grab the bucket and rip the rope from she squid's hand, only for it to crawl out from its hole. Unfortunately for the environmentalist, she had underestimated the size of the animal and the squid hadn't crawled out of the tiny little hole that its tentacle stuck out of. Instead, it had just lifted itself out of the sand, revealing that it was at least ten times the size of Kestrel's. She found herself being squeezed by a giant tentacle, the bucket just inches away from her. If her arms weren't being pinned to her sides, she could have easily picked up the bucket. Unfortunately, the squid didn't seem to want to let her go.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Tremendous Tortoises had sent Jake, Kit-Kat, and Glisa out to sea to go find the objects because their barrier was in good shape. Aaron had insisted that they use his plan now, but his teammates had said "later" again and left him disappointedly working on the wall. Riley was still rolling his sand ball like a dung beetle, the weapon now up to his waist in height. Kyra had recovered from her blow to the head and was now furious, making sand balls for Morty, Irving, and Tom at an extremely fast speed, muttering something about wanting them to chuck them at Blair.

The Tortoises were caught of guard, however, when they saw two figures running straight at them. As they came closer, the team could start to make out exactly who they were: Bren and Addy.

"Hit them!" Sienna shouted to the guys who were throwing sand. "Hit them before they can get over here!"

Irving, Morty, and Tom started to rapidly throw the sand balls at Bren and Addy, though none of them seemed to hit their targets. Bren would always lithely dodge the throws while Addy would just run past them. The closest any of the three got to hitting one of them was one of Irving's throws skimming Addy's arm. They didn't stand a chance.

As the pair got nearer, Joe Freeman, Daphne, Sienna, and Aaron started to brush and kick sand at them, hoping it would stick to their legs as they ran past them. Addy started to run around the team's area, darting in and out between the standing and crouching Tortoises and playfully hopping over their wall, though not destroying it. Morty, Tom, and Irving directed their throws at her figuring she might be easier (and less threatening) to hit than Bren. As they did this, though, they didn't see Bren step up behind them.

Bren reached out and grabbed Morty by the back of his bathing suit and hoisted him into the air, walking away from the battle.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Morty shouted. "Put me down!"

"Hmm…" Bren said, looking around the beach and completely ignoring the sand that was being thrown at his back. "Where can I put you?"

"You can put me down you idiot!" Morty argued, kicking his feet around and flailing his arms. Bren was holding his too far out in front of him, though, so his kicking and screaming did nothing.

"I know!" Bren finally said, ignoring Morty. "I'll put you over there!"

"You'll do _what_?!" Morty asked as Bren brought the arm holding him up back. "No! No, you are not going to throw me! You _can't _throw me, can you? Let go of me!"

Morty's protesting didn't do much as Bren chucked him into the air. He went soaring higher and higher and higher until he finally felt himself descending. He screamed at the top of his lungs as he near the ground, mostly because of where he was landing.

"MY MERMAID!!!" That's right, Morty had just landed on and destroyed Chef Hatchet's sand mermaid. He sat up covered and sand and looked around, only to be grabbed by the arm and yanked to his feet. "Why are you over here?!"

"Bren threw me over here!" Morty replied nervously. "I swear!"

"He _destroyed_ my mermaid!" Chef Hatchet shouted to Morty. The look on his face was terrifying: his unibrow was lowered over his eyes in frustration, his mouth was wide open showing yellowing teeth being gritted together, a vein in his neck pulsed wildly. He could probably scare away his own reflection with that expression, even while he was wearing the pathetic duck floatie. "Where is the little creep?"

"He went that way!" Morty shouted, pointing in the direction that Bren had walked away.

"He is going… to _pay_!" At pay, Chef dropped Morty and reached behind his back, pulling out a giant squirt gun.

"Where did you get _that_?" Morty questioned.

"Don't question me, boy." Chef said, stomping off. Morty just stood up and ran back to his team.

"What happened to you?" Irving asked, grimacing at the sight of Morty being completely coated in sand.

"Just don't ask." Morty replied, picking up a ball of sand and slinging it at the Deer.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Morty: "I don't think I have ever been so afraid of a man wearing a duck around his waist." He is coated in sand from head to toe, attempting to brush some off of him. "I'd honestly hate to be Bren right now."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Lacey, Blair, and Joe Howlett were still launching sand balls over to the other team when Addy came running back.

"Did you do anything?" Blair asked her.

"Oh yeah," Addy nodded. "I kicked so much sand on some of their builders it wasn't even funny! Actually, yes it was! Hahaha!"

"What about Bren?" Joe asked.

"Oh, I don't know about him." Addy said, picking up a ball of sand and attempting to throw it across the distance of the beach. It didn't make the distance it needed. "Last I saw he was walking off holding Morty by the shorts!"

Blair just gave her a confused look. "O_kay_ then…"

"Hey Blair, you want to see something cool?" Lacey asked the tomboy, picking up a ball of sand.

"Sure."

"I'm going to pitch this ball like a softball and hopefully it'll have enough power behind it to make it all the way to the other side of the beach."

Lacey rolled the sand into an orb, placed it into her right hand, and then planted her feet firmly on the ground. She then wound her arm around in a windmill motion and then released the ball around her waist. The ball went flying at a high speed only to hit Joe Howlett, who had just been running away from a sand ball across Lacey's line of fire, in the back of the head. Blair instantly started to laugh when Joe turned around and saw that it was Lacey again.

"Are you _trying_ to get sand on me?" he asked, attempting to shake the sand out of his hair.

"Hey, you can't blame me for that one!" Lacey protested. "You were in my way! That'll teach you to run in front of me!"

Joe just rolled his eyes at her and went back to throwing, making sure to stay as far away from her as he possibly could.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Howlett: "Let's see… since I've been placed on the same team as Lacey she has gotten me hit in the face with globs of slime when she was breaking into the Mess Hall, managed to get me threatened by Tanya by adding onto the fact that I said she smelled, convinced me to help her sabotage the other team, used me as a shield and made me get hit with five of Tom's throws, and now she's hit me in the back of the head at a close distance with a throw that probably could have gone a lot farther." He counts off all of the things on his fingers and then looks up at the camera. "So, judging by those odds, if we're on the same team for any longer I'll be _dead_ by the end of the season. Nice."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Guys, guys! Did you see what I did to Morty?" Bren shouted, running up to his teammates that were making the wall. "I threw him across the beach. He was covered in sand!"

"Cool!" Haley shouted, ducking from a clump of sand that had just been thrown at her head.

"Awesome!" Carrie agreed.

"Good job." Tanya approved.

"Hey, do you guys hear that?" Russell asked. The other four stopped talking for a moment and listened in. Something that sounded a lot like a battle cry sounded through the air and seemed to be getting louder. "Doesn't that sound kind of like-"

"CHEF!" Haley pointed to the large man, who was bounding towards them with a huge squirt gun with his mouth wide open, letting out a demonic battle cry. He looked determined and terrifying as he ran across the sand, a stone cold glare set on his face.

"Crap!" Bren shouted, running as Chef Hatchet pumped his water gun. Chef chased right after him, completely ignoring the rest of his team.

"This is for my mermaid!!!" He shouted, squirting the gun at Bren. The stream of water hit Bren in the back and he was squirted halfway down the beach. Chef ran after him, pumping the water gun, as the martial artist got to his feet and started to run again.

* * *

Under the water, Jayna had managed to squeeze one arm out of the squid's bone-crunching grip and grabbed onto the handle of the bucket she was trying to get. She then brought back this arm and hit the squid over the head several times, regretting every moment of it. The squid, in a daze, let go of her and swam away, wobbling in circles a little as it did. Jayna smiled in victory and swam to the surface with the bucket, swimming towards the shore.

* * *

"I'm finished!" Riley shouted. "It's perfect!"

Tom turned around to see that the prankster had rolled up a ball of sand so large that it came to his chin in height. He was attempting to lift it at the moment, though he seemed to be unsuccessful.

"What the heck are you doing?" Tom asked, walking over to Riley.

"I'm gonna… ugh... throw this… over there!" Riley said, huffing and puffing as he hoisted the boulder into his arms. "And I could use some help!"

"Fine, fine, what do you need me to do?"

* * *

"Can we stop building this wall now and start throwing?" Haley asked Tanya. The wall was high enough so that they could hide comfortably behind it, which they were.

"Sure, go right ahead." Tanya agreed. Haley stood up and brushed off her knees and then looked up… only to see something huge coming straight at them.

"Oh my god, what is-" she was interrupted, however, by the object hitting her and knocking her over on top of Tanya, smothering them both in sand. Carrie and Russell could only gape at the sight in confusion.

"Haley!" Riley shouted from the other side of the beach. That's right; the object that Haley was hit with was none other than Riley's sand boulder.

"Woo!" Tom cheered. "We got them!"

"Yeah, but we got Haley!" Riley pointed out.

"So?" Riley just gave Tom a look. "She's a Deer. Weren't we aiming for the Deer?" Riley's look just got more intense. "What did you like her or something?"

"Yeah. Did you not see me sitting with her on the bus?"

Tom thought back to the bus ride. "Huh. Guess I really never noticed."

"Dude, we probably just drowned my girlfriend in sand!"

"Okay, when you put it that way, it does sound really bad!"

"I have to go help her!"

"I don't think-"

"I'm comin' Haley!" Before Tom could answer, Riley went running across the battlefield, getting pelted with several sand balls in the process. That didn't stop him, though, and he kept running like a madman towards the other side of the beach, ran around the Deer's wall, and kneeled down to the pile of sand.

"What are you doing here?!" Carrie asked, chucking sand at Riley.

"I'm helping my girlfriend!" Riley replied, digging through the pile of sand that Haley was under.

"Your girlfriend?" Russell asked. "My sister?!"

"Yeah, Braniac, your sister. Nobody likes Tanya." Riley kept flinging sand back and digging through it until a hand emerged from the pile. "Haley?!" He pulled at the hand until a head came up from the sand.

"Riley?! What the hell do you think you're doing over here and why haven't you been covered in sand balls yet?" It was Tanya. "Guys, get over here and throw stuff at him! He can't be-"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up!" Riley shoved Tanya back under the sand and kept digging until coming in contact with a foot. "There she is!" He kept digging in that area until Haley climbed out of the pile of sand, gasping for air. "Are you okay?"

"Riley?!" Haley asked when realizing who'd pulled her out of the sand.

"Yeah! Are you okay?" Riley asked her, ignoring the fact that Carrie and Russell were bombarding him in sand balls.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just sand." Haley replied. "Hey, didn't I land on Tanya? Is she still-"

"Tanya's fine, forget about her! Nobody likes Tanya anyway."

"You have a point there." Haley agreed. She then glared at Carrie and her brother. "Will you guys stop?"

"No! He's on the other team! If we cover him enough, we'll win for sure!" Carrie said, throwing the sand even faster now.

"I just don't like him!" Russell was throwing the sand as fast as Carrie.

"You know, you might want to get over to your team before they kill you." Haley said, pointing out that Sienna was attempting to wave Riley back over to their side.

"Eh, they'll have to just-"

"How _dare _you push me back under the sand?!" Riley was interrupted by Tanya, who had dug her way out of the sand and had just put him in a headlock. "Look at me now! I'm a mess! And this is all your fault!"

"Tanya let him go!" Haley shouted.

"Look what he did to me!" Tanya said gesturing to her sand covered body. "I am a mess! He deserves to pay for-"

"He's turning blue!"

"So?"

"Let him go!" Haley then grabbed onto Tanya's arms and pulled her off of Riley, leading to her landing in the sand again. Riley took in as much air as he could as his face returned to its normal color. "Now you get back over onto your side of the beach before you get killed!"

"Fine, fine." Riley got up and started to run to the other side of the beach, being bombarded in sand balls in the process.

Haley was faced by several dirty looks, the dirtiest of all being from her brother.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Russell: "My sister is going out with _him_?!" he asks, he jaw dropping open. "I mean, out of all people she chooses the meanest guy on the island? What is _wrong_ with her?!"

Tanya: "That stupid Riley! He plucks me out of the sand and then pushes me back in when he realizes I'm not that viewing world flashing, tube top wearing, Tortoise loving-" the screen fast forwards and Tanya's mouth is still moving, "-flirty, short shorts wearing, silky pajama owning-" the camera fast forwards again, "-way too nice, braless traitor girlfriend of his!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Do you see anything?" Jake asked Kit-Kat and Glisa. The three of them were still scanning the ocean for any items, though they'd come with no luck.

"I don't think so." Kit-Kat replied.

"Hey!" Glisa shouted. "Doesn't that look like a bucket?" Kit-Kat and Jake both looked down and saw exactly what she was pointing to.

"Yeah!" Jake nodded. "But what's that thing next to it?"

"Did it just move?!" Kit-Kat asked.

"I t'ink it did!" Glisa shouted. "Is it coming towards us?"

"Swim! Swim as fast as you can!" The three started to swim away from the object at full speed, hoping that it wouldn't get to them. They didn't seem to be fast enough, because the three of them were all pulled under the water one after another within seconds.

* * *

"Mhm mmm mhmn mhh!" Addy heard a muffled voice running towards her and turned her head only to see somebody with what looked like a squid stuck to their face walk up to her. He was holding a shovel in one hand and was covered in black ink. "Mhmmn? Mhm mn hmmn mnm!"

"Kestrel?" Addy asked. He nodded. "Is that a squid?" He nodded again. "Is it stuck?" He nodded a third time. "I'll save you!"

Addy ran up to Kestrel, grabbed the squid and pulled. The squid didn't move a bit, though one of its tentacles made a gross popping sound when it unlatched from his face.

"Oh, this thing's really stuck!" Addy remarked. "Give me that shovel!" Kestrel handed her the shovel and she wedged it in between his face and the squid, pulling back. The squid unstuck itself from Kestrel's face one suction cup at a time, making sickening sounds with every pop. Once the squid was on the shovel, Addy flung it across the beach to the Deer's side. It landed on top of Joe Freeman's head and he got up, screaming and running in circles.

"Thanks for that!" Kestrel said, smiling that his face was finally free. "Does my face look fine?"

"Um…" In truth, Kestrel's face had several rings on it in swirling patterns from where the tentacles were. "You look great!"

"Cool, what should I do now?"

"Help me throw stuff at the-"

"I've got it!" Addy and Kestrel turned to see Jayna making her way out of the water, getting hit in the head with a sand ball in the process. She was holding a bucket triumphantly in the air. "I got it!"

"Where'd you get the giant hickey?" Addy asked, pointing at Jayna's side. On Jayna's skin was a giant red ring that looked similar to the ones that were scattered around Kestrel's face.

"Whoa! Did you have some romantic affair with a whale or something?" Kestrel asked.

"No! I got into a fight with a squid to get this bucket!" Jayna held up the bucket in front of him. "And you should be talking. You've got them all over your face! Now if you don't mind, I'm going to hand this over to Tanya and see what she wants me to do with it."

"I'll give her this, too." Kestrel said, following the environmentalist with the shovel in hand.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kestrel: "My face doesn't look that bad, does it?" he leans in to look at his reflection in the camera and grimaces. "Now I wish I hadn't looked…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

The Tortoises' wall had been finished and now everybody was attempting to either make sand balls or throw at the Deer. Daphne and Sienna seemed to be attempting to stay behind the barrier more than the others, though Sienna had gotten sand in her hair when Blair had hit her with a sand ball. Joe Freeman was still running around with a squid (which seemingly fell from the sky) clamped to his head.

"This isn't working!" Sienna commented after chucking a sand ball. "Half of our throws are missing!"

"Well, we need a new plan then!" Daphne said, poking her head up over the top of the barrier and throwing a sand ball. As soon as the ball left her hands, she ducked back down behind the barrier, not even bothering to see it land.

"Oh, oh!" Aaron raised his hand. "Can we use my plan now?"

"What is it?" Tom asked. Aaron explained his plan to the team and they all smiled at it, nodding and agreeing as he spoke. "Let's do it, then."

"Wait," Kyra spoke up. "Where're Jake, Glisa, and Kit-Kat?"

* * *

Jake, Glisa, and Kit-Kat were currently being held under the water by a giant squid, which was just holding them up using three tentacles and examining them, turning them at all different angles. Unknown to them, this was actually the same squid that had just held Jayna, and now he wanted somebody to replace her. The three Tortoises just stared scared stiff at the squid, realizing that it was guarding a bunch of shovels and buckets.

The camera shifts away from the ocean and to Chris, who is still tanning in his beach chair with his sunglasses on. He lifts up his glasses and looks at the camera.

"Oh, we're doing this already?" he asks. The camera nods up and down. "Okay, well, what will happen to the campers next? Find out after the commercial break on Total… Drama… Island… Again!" He puts his sunglasses back on and then lies back down. "Now go away and let me tan."

**

* * *

**

I don't like this chapter very much. I loved the part where Riley pushed Tanya back under the sand, though!

**Okay, now on to a more serious note... both Clumsy in Action and I have made our own respective websites for Total Drama Island: Again! Here are the web adresses:**

**The one created by me: ****http: // total -drama -island -again. webs. com/**

**The totally awesome one created by Clumsy in Action: ****http: // total -drama -island -ktd123 .webs. com/**

**Just remove the spaces and you'll be there! Mine has character bios and a little more info on the challenges while CIA's has the theme song, couples, and confession cams (lots of confession cams in this one, by the way. Sorry about that!). Both are works in progress!**

**Oh, and there's a poll on my profile if you haven't voted already. I forgot to mention it last update, but some of you already found it!**

**Who will win the sandfight? Will Jake, Kit-Kat, and Glisa escape the clutches of the giant squid? Will Joe Howlett survive being on the same team as Lacey? Will Jayna be able to convince her team that the mark on her side isn't a whale hickey? All of these questions and more will be answered... next chapter!**


	14. Ep4, Pt3: Sand, Sand, Sand!

**Reviews make me feel special. Thanks for all of them!**

**Okay, my random babbling for today's author's note? Song covers. I love them. Seriously. People always complain about how you shouldn't mess with the classics, but I don't really mind it when they mess with the classics. I mean, I heard Seether's cover of "Careless Whisper", which was originally by Wham (I think…) and it was awesome! What does this have to do with the story? Well, the ending author's note has to do with music… kind of.**

**Oh, and thanks to all of you who checked out the website! I've got some new stuff up there if you want to check it out.**

**The full title of this chapter is: Sand, Sand, Everywhere the Sand! Messing Up the Beach, and Getting in Your Pants. It's based off of the lyrics to the song "Signs" by Tesla (which I think is also a cover of another song)… which I don't own.**

**Disclaimer: Total Drama Island isn't mine, no matter how many times I have wished on a star for ownership. I also don't own "Jane Eyre" or the name Squidward. Those are property of Charlotte Bronte and Spongebob Squarepants.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: Sand, Sand, Everywhere the Sand!**

"Get it off! Get if off! Get it _off_!"

"If you hold still, I might be able to get if off."

"It's really hard not to panic when you have an octopus stuck to your head!"

"If you stopped moving, I could probably get it off!"

"I'll try." Joe Freeman had been running around for several minutes with a squid (courtesy of Kestrel and Addy) latched onto his head. Nobody had bothered to help him until now, when Kyra decided that she couldn't stand his screaming for much longer and decided to lend him a hand. "Is this enough?"

"I think so." Kyra replied. She reached out to grab the squid on his head only for it to unstuck a tentacle from his head and slap her hand away. She looked at it with her jaw dropped for a minute. "Did it just slap me?"

"I think so." Joe nodded. Kyra reached out for the squid again only for her hands to be slapped back just like the first time. She kept trying over and over only for the same thing to happen every time.

"This could be harder than I thought…"

* * *

"Get back here, maggot!"

"No way!"

"Stop runnin' and lemme shoot you!"

"No!"

Chef Hatchet had continued to chase Bren down the beach as the challenge continued. The gap-toothed man was fuming at the fact that he couldn't catch the martial artist, who was much to fast for him. Even in the sand, both males had managed to run at full speed, kicking back sand in the process.

"C'mon, boy! You can't run forever!" Chef shouted.

"No way!" Bren replied, kicking some sand back. The sand managed to hit Chef in the face, making the man even more furious. He shot a few squirts of water at Bren. The martial artist looked over his shoulder when hearing Chef pump the gun only to get hit in the face by a splash of water. He dodged the next few squirts now that he knew they were coming for him, picking up the pace as he did so.

* * *

Meanwhile under the water, the squid holding Jake, Glisa, and Kit-Kat captive had dragged them under the sand into where he was staying. Like the bear, apparently the squid had been stealing.

Under the sand was what looked like some kind of underwater condo furnished with everything from a lamp to a television to a desk. Several of the items had labels stamped on the side of them saying "Property of Camp Wawanakwa" or "Property of Chris McLean". Kit-Kat, Jake, and Glisa could only stare at confusion at the little area, but the confusion had only started.

The squid swam past the lamp and clicked it on, and then swam over to a couch that was set up in the corner of the area and flopped itself down into it, looking almost like it was in a sitting position with its head pointed upward and most of its tentacles pointing downward, though the ones holding the three Tremendous Tortoises stayed floating in the water separate from the rest. The squid reached across the room to a coffee table with one table and picked up two items that were on it: a pair of giant glasses and thick (and wet) copy of Jane Eyre. He placed the glasses on his face and then opened up the book, starting to read. Glisa, Kit-Kat, and Jake could only stare on in surprise.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Jake: "I am convinced that everything at this camp breaks the laws of physics." The nature lover shook his wet hair in confusion. "I mean are any of the things that happen on this island really humanly possible? Sometimes I wonder if this is just some kind of crazy cartoon…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Watch out, Daphne!"

Daphne was looking down at the clump of sand in her hands when she heard somebody shout her name. She looked up instinctively and looked around, expecting a ball of sand to be hurtling at her. Instead, all she felt was a hand pull out the neck of her wetsuit and stuff a handful of sand down her back.

"Okay, who did this?!" She turned around to see who had done this to her only to be greeted by the face of a cackling Riley. "What the heck, Riley? I'm on your team!"

"So?" Riley snickered. "That's not going to stop me!"

"Well it should!" Daphne replied. "Are you really that much of a heartless jerk? What did I ever do to you?!"

"Did I ever _say_ you did anything to me?" Riley asked.

"Well, then why are you doing all this crap to me?"

"Because you're there. Lighten up, Daph."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Daphne: "I cannot _stand_ Riley anymore!" the pale skinned girl shouted. "He actually _admits_ that he pranks me just because he can, and he doesn't even seem to care? What is wrong with him?! And then he says 'lighten up, Daph'?! What am I supposed to lighten up about? The fact that he's being a complete jerk for no reason?!" She rakes her hands through her hair in frustration, letting out an angry breath of air. "I swear, if he does that one more time, he will get it!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Hey Blair! Watch this!" Carrie called out to the tomboy. The entire Devious Deer team (minus Bren of course) was now throwing the sand balls across the beach, Addy using the shovel to fling sand in their direction and Tanya using the bucket. When Blair turned to look at Carrie, the designer gathered a clump of sand in her hand, pulled back her arm, and chucked it across the beach. The sand flew through the air and got to the Tortoises' side, hitting its target directly where it should've.

"Hahaha! Sweet!" Blair complimented her teammate. "That was an awesome throw!"

Carrie's throw had hit Irving, who had turned to the side to see what Daphne was shouting about, in the side of the face. He turned towards the Deer as soon as he got hit, and Carrie smiled.

"That's for giving me all of those dirty looks!" she shouted to him, laughing as she did.

Irving glared at that and scooped up a ball of sand, hurling it at Carrie. Carrie yipped in surprise and ducked behind the sand barrier, the sand ball skimming right over it. When seeing that she wasn't hit, Carrie poked her head up over the top of the barrier and smiled victoriously.

"You missed me- OOF!" A throw hit her right in the face, filling her mouth with sand. She spit it out clumsily and looked up to see who threw the sand: it was Sienna.

"That's for hitting Irving in the face!" the queen bee shouted. "Hope you like the taste!"

"It's lovely!" Carrie quipped back. "Just what I wanted stuffed in my mouth at this time of day!"

"I knew you'd like it!"

"Why don't _you_ try some?" Carrie asked, flinging a handful of sand at the queen bee. Sienna ducked down behind the barrier as the sand came towards her, putting her hands up to cover her precious hair. When the sand flew past the barrier, she peeked up over the top. Nothing was coming at her. Good.

"You missed, Carrie!" Sienna taunted. "I guess your aim's as bad as your sense of style… maybe even worse if that's even poss-" Sienna was shut up by a ball of sand hitting her in the chest. Her taunting expression soon turned furious as her eyebrows furrowed in anger. "Oh. Now it's on!"

And with that, Sienna sent herself courageously running across the beach hurling sand at Carrie with both hands. She was a quarter of the way across the distance when she realized that the sand balls coming from the Deer all started to be aimed at her. At that, she turned around and dove for cover behind the Tortoise sand barrier, sanding up her knees in the process, sighing in relief when most of the throws hit the barrier.

"Were you planning on charging at her?" Irving asked.

"Yeah… it wouldn't work out, though." Sienna replied. "I didn't want to get too covered in sand."

"That was a nice throw when you hit Carrie." He commented, throwing a handful of sand in the process.

"That'll teach her to hit you in the face."

"Thanks." He gave her a winning smile which she returned.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "Oh yeah. I totally would have run across that battlefield for Irving if there hadn't been so many people throwing at me." The queen bee insisted. "I'd do anything that involves throwing sand at Carrie, actually."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"You can't run forever, kid!"

"I can try!" No matter how hard Bren tried, he knew that Chef was right. He couldn't run forever. He could hopefully run longer than Chef, though. Just in case he couldn't, he was in need of a backup plan.

That was when Bren saw a little shed in front of him. This could be his Plan B. He ran to the shed and opened the door, smiling at what he saw inside. The walls of the shed were lined up with squirt guns, ranging in all different sizes from a tiny hand gun to a large, multi-nozzle pump gun. This must have been where Chef kept all of his artillery when he didn't need it. What was the chance of that?

"Get outta there, maggot!" Chef's grimy voice called into the shack, pounding on the door as he spoke.

Bren smiled when hearing it, grabbed a squirt gun off of the wall, and kicked open the door, aiming the gun at Chef Hatchet. "Say hello to my little friend!"

Chef glanced at the squirt gun with an unimpressed look. "You call _that_ a gun?"

"It's bigger than yours!" Bren protested.

"That's not a gun." Chef insisted, putting his hand behind his back. When he pulled his hand back in front of him, he was holding a different squirt gun. This one was larger than the one Bren had. "Now _this_ is a gun."

Bren's eyes widened and he reached inside the shack, pulling out another gun. This one was larger than Chef's. "Hahaha! How's about this?"

Chef whipped out another squirt gun from behind his back, topping Bren's yet again. Bren just pulled another gun out of the shed. The two continued like this for a while until Chef was out of squirt guns and Bren had the largest gun in the shack.

"Who has to start running now?" Bren asked, pumping the squirt gun. The weapon had at least five sets of openings for water to come out of, an area to fill it up with ice to make the water even colder and more painful, two pumps, and a scope. This gun was awesome. Chef looked threatened. Bren lined up the dot on the scope with Chef and pulled the trigger of the gun, Chef bracing himself for impact.

All that came out from the gun was a pathetic puff of air.

Bren pulled the trigger again only for the same thing to happen. He suddenly became aware of his stupid move. He'd forgotten to fill the squirt gun with water.

"So?" Chef's shadow was looming over him. "Where were we?" He pointed the squirt gun straight at Bren's head and pulled the trigger.

* * *

"Hold still, Joe! I've almost got it!" Kyra had somehow managed to get her fingers underneath the squid and was still attempting to yank it off of Joe Freeman's head. Whenever she pulled, the squid's head would pull up, though all of its tentacles would stay stuck to Joe. No matter how far away from Joe she pulled the squid, in the end it would just snap back into place on top of his head. This squid was stubborn.

"Kyra, you know this hurts, right?" Joe asked as the naïve girl pulled the squid again. One tentacle was stuck curving just around his eyebrow, and whenever she pulled the skin in that area would pull with it.

"Hang on! I've got this time!" With the squid in hand, she started to run at full speed away from Joe Freeman, dodging sand balls in the process. Joe winced as the tentacles stretched, pulling at the skin on his head. The squid felt as though it would snap back at any moment, the tentacles latched onto his head. Joe was convinced he'd live with a squid on his head forever…

_POP!_

Joe Freeman smiled when feeling that his head was squid-free, though he had swirling patterns of circles from the tentacles decorating it. Kyra giggled when seeing that she was holding the squid, which was thrashing in her hands.

"It's okay squiddie." She told it. "You're not stuck to him anymore." The squid seemed to be glaring at her. "Now you're free!"

"Will you throw it back already?" Joe asked, ducking from a sand ball that was thrown at him.

"But it looks so nice and friendly!" Kyra protested. "It's just a poor little squiddie who didn't mean to hurt you head. It's helpless!" At helpless, the squid extended a tentacle and slapped her on the side of the face. Kyra went dead silent.

"You still want to help the 'poor helpless squiddie'?" Joe Freeman asked.

Kyra didn't answer, but instead walked down to the shore and chucked the squid out as far as she could.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kyra: "If that squid wasn't so mean, I could've kept him and loved him and cherished him as my pet!" she tells the camera. "I would've named him Squidward and gotten him a tank and everything! Or better yet, he could sleep in the bed above Sienna!"

Joe Freeman: He's rubbing his forehead in pain, wincing whenever he touches the circles. "Ouch…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Meanwhile under the water, the giant squid was still focused deeply on its copy of Jane Eyre and didn't seem to realize that he was still holding the three Tortoises in his tentacles. All three were desperately in need of air, though the squid wasn't taking any notice of their blue faces and clutching of throats. In a desperate urge to get air, Glisa did what first came to her mind: she leaned down and bit the squid. The squid's grip loosened enough for her to swim out and gesture for Kit-Kat and Jake to do the same. They both sunk their teeth into the tentacles, grimacing at the taste, and joined Glisa in swimming out of the sand and up to the surface of the water, Jake grabbing the bucket along the way.

Once their heads emerged from the water, the three were gasping and panting, all glad to be able to breathe again. Kit-Kat was spitting into the water attempting to get the taste of squid out of her mouth.

"Well," Jake said after a moment of breathing in the precious air. "At least we got the bucket!"

* * *

"Nice whale hickey."

"It's not a whale hickey!"

"_Sure_ it's not…" Tanya snickered at Jayna. The drama queen had bent over, filled the bucket that Jayna had retrieved with sand, and flung all of the sand with all of her might at the other team. The method wasn't as effective as she thought it would be, but if somebody was standing just by or behind their barrier she could hit them.

"You know, I got this tentacle mark on my side from struggling to get that bucket for _you_!" Jayna argued. "I think you should be thanking me!"

"Hey, you're the one who said you could hold your breath for nine hours!"

"I can."

"You pretty much volunteered-" Tanya paused when seeing Glisa, Jake, and Kit-Kat run out of the water to the Tortoises. "Hey look! They must have battled with a squid too!"

The three Tortoises all had the circular marks on their sides, all three of which identical to Jayna's.

"We've got the bucket!" Kit-Kat shouted to the Tortoises as they ran up onto the beach. She brought the bucket up to Aaron, who was the first person she saw on the beach. "We're got it!"

"Oh, cool." Aaron said, his voice sounding kind of embarrassed. "The thing is… we kind of don't need it anymore."

Kit-Kat's eyes bugged out of her skull. "What?!"

"Well, they finally decided that we could use my strategy… and we don't exactly need a bucket for that."

Kit-Kat's jaw dropped. "Oh. Okay then…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kit-Kat: "I guess it's okay that they don't need the bucket. Even though we swam into the ocean and battled as squid to get it." She looks slightly disappointed. "It's okay, though. I trust Aaron's plan."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"We need to think of something new!" Tanya said to her team. "They're obviously thinking of something. I mean, look! Aaron's huddled up with the people who just got onto the beach! They must have a plan!"

Anybody from her team that was listening nodded in agreement. For once, Tanya actually had a point.

Surprisingly enough, it was Haley who had an idea. "What if we all charged at them at the same time? They can't take down all of us at once."

"They can't even take down one of us…" Blair muttered sarcastically, several campers laughing at that.

"What do you guys think?" Haley asked her team. Several people nodded in agreement at her idea. Unknown to them, they were actually setting themselves up perfectly for Aaron's strategy.

Minutes later, the Deer (minus Bren, who nobody had seen for a long time) were lined up in a straight line, all armed with several armfuls of sand. When somebody shouted "CHARGE!!!" they all started running straight for the Tortoises, attempting to pummel them with sand in the process. The Tortoises were throwing back, though they all seemed to be backing up as they did so. Aaron was the only Tortoise who wasn't moving away and just stood beside the barrier as his team continued to back up farther and farther down the beach.

The Devious Deer started to aim solely at Aaron as they got closer; figuring that hitting the one Tortoise who was still at a close distance would be much easier than hitting the others. Aaron was getting covered in sand, the throws sticking to him as he did so. The Deer began to question their method, however, when the overeater looked at his team over his shoulder, received a thumbs up from them, and started to run for the water.

"What is he doing?!" Russell shouted.

"He's not going to jump in, is he?" Carrie asked.

"Oh no way!" Addy whimpered.

"Turn around!!!" Tanya shouted as Aaron bounded to the water. Once he got close enough, he took a long, leaping jump, curled into the fetal position, and just before hitting the water let out a battle cry.

"CANNONBALL!!!"

No matter how hard they tried to avoid it, the Devious Deer were drenched with water, and soon became covered in sand as the other members of the Tremendous Tortoises ran at them. The sand was sticking even more due to the water, and half of the Deer ran for the water in an attempt to get it off. The Tortoises followed them, still chucking and kicking sand at them. The water was no use. They were only in the water waist deep, the upper halves of their bodies covered in sand, when they were saved.

"Time's up!" Chris's voice shouted. "Let's see who earned themselves a beach party!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Aaron: "That… was… awesome!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Chris McLean stood in the center of the beach with the Tremendous Tortoises and Devious Deer lined up on either side of him. In front of him were two giant buckets (one blue and one yellow), a stack of towels, and a garden hose, which was hooked up to a pump somewhere up where the bus was parked.

"Okay, here's what you have to do." Chris said. "I will call you up one by one and you will have to stand in your team's respective bucket: yellow for the Tortoises, blue for the Deer. This hose that I will spray you with has enough power behind it to hopefully get off most of the sand. Just in case, you'll have to wipe yourself down with one of these towels while you're in the bucket. All of the sand that was on you will fall into the bucket and pile up. Whichever team has the least sand in their bucket wins!"

The campers took long looks at the buckets and grimaced. They were covered in cobwebs and dirt and were scratched up on the sides. Nobody wanted to know what had been inside them beforehand.

"Okay, so we'll start with…" Chris gestured for the first member of the team he saw to come over to the bucket. "Kyra!" Kyra frowned but obeyed, stepping into the gross bucket. Chris then pointed the garden hose at her and drenched her, most of the sand that was stuck to her body and hair falling into the bucket. After spraying her for a minute, he handed her a towel. "Make sure you get all the sand!"

Kyra did as he said and wiped everything down, even running her fingers through her hair to get the sand out. In the end, there wasn't a lot of sand in the bucket.

"Okay," Chris said as Kyra stepped out of the bucket. "Who's next?"

Carrie was in the Deer bucket next, ending up with much more sand inside than Kyra. The pattern alternated between the two teams until they finished off with Morty, who scraped a good amount of sand off of him, most of which from Bren's throw. When Morty stepped out, Chris looked inside the buckets. The campers couldn't see who's had more in them from where they were standing and were anxiously awaiting the results.

"And the winner of the awesome beach party is-"

"WAIT!" Chris's speech was interrupted by Bren, who was running back to the group coated in sand. "Wait! Don't forget about me!"

Seeing all of the sand that Bren was covered in, the Devious Deer automatically started to protest.

"No, don't wait for him!"

"Forget about him!"

"Well, we have to be fair…" Chris stated.

"Since when are _you_ fair?!" Lacey shouted.

"Since being fair will make others suffer!" the host replied. "Bren, get over here!"

The martial artist did as he was told and stepped into the blue bucket. Chris sprayed him with the hose and the sand started to fall off of him in clumps. By the time he gave Bren the towel, the Deer bucket was full.

"I think we have a winner!" Chris shouted. "The awesome beach party goes to the Tremendous Tortoises!" the team erupted into cheers. "Devious Deer? Get on the bus! I'll see you tonight!"

The Deer groaned and started to march for the bus.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Glisa: "Dis is great! _¡Excelente! _Dis is our third win in a row! _¡Nuestra tercera victoria!_" she smiles to the camera. "And we get a beach party!"

Bren: "Why did I have that much sand on me? Well, after Chef squirted me halfway across the beach, he decided it would be a great idea to bury me under the sand and make another mermaid on top of me! It's a miracle I even got out!"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

The Tortoises' Party

Around an hour later, the Tremendous Tortoises had gathered on the beach where Chris had his crew set up tiki torches, a radio and several giant speakers, a snack table, and several beach chairs for the party. The giant speakers were blaring music, which Kyra was showing Joe Freeman and Jake how she danced to. Aaron and Kit-Kat were chatting by the snack table while Daphne was hiding under a beach umbrella (that the crew had brought especially for her) reading a book near them. Glisa and Sienna were sunbathing, both taking peeks at Irving, Tom, and Morty who were throwing a football around in the water. Riley was crouched by the shore and filling a bucket up. With what? Nobody wanted to know.

Daphne, unfortunately, was the one who ended up finding out.

Riley had snuck up on her, gotten past her umbrella, and dumped the contents of the bucket down the back of her wetsuit. Inside the bucket was fish, crabs, sand, gross salt water, and seaweed.

Needless to say, Daphne was pissed.

"RILEY!!!" Daphne turned sharply to face the prankster, who had just stopped laughing when hearing her tone of voice. "I have _had_ it with you! I am tired of you pranking me every moment you can! I have never done anything to you, yet you seem to insist on doing anything and everything just to annoy me!" Riley started to shrink back as Daphne screamed. He looked intimidated, maybe even scared! "I cannot tolerate you anymore! You have no reason to be complete jerk to me any time you can! If you want to be a jerk to somebody, why don't you go do it somebody on the other team! Maybe you'd actually be useful for once and not just be a stupid, useless little piece of-"

"Ahem!" somebody clearing their throat made Daphne realize that her teammates were watching her. They were all looking on with all different looks on their faces: some surprised, some sympathetic, and some proud. Riley's eyes were wide. He looked scared out of his mind because of the usually well-mannered girl. This was definitely a change of pace.

**

* * *

**

Behind the Deer's Cabin

"You guys are probably wondering why we're here." Joe Howlett spoke. He was one of the six campers that was gathered behind the cabins, the others being Kestrel, Russell, Haley, Blair, and Lacey.

"We're here because Joe and I think it's a good idea to vote off Bren tonight." Kestrel explained to the group. Haley gasped at that.

"Why Bren?"

"Because it's his fault that the bucket was filled to the top." Joe said. "We might have actually been winning before he came."

"Why us?" Blair asked, looking around at the strange group around her.

"I heard Tanya talking to Jayna, Carrie, and Addy in the bathroom that she wants to vote off Haley for having a secret boyfriend." Kestrel mentioned.

"Me?!" Haley asked. The artist nodded. "They can't vote for me!"

"Which is why the six of us have to vote for Bren." Joe insisted.

"I thought Bren was your friend." Russell pointed out.

"He is." Kestrel nodded. "But it's his fault."

"Why would we vote out our strongest player?" Lacey asked.

"Who else are we supposed to vote out?" Joe questioned. "One of us?"

"We could always vote _you_ out for falling on your face and getting hit so many times."

"Hey, it's _your_ fault I got hit!"

"Really?"

"You held me in front of you like a shield!"

"You must be imagining things…"

"Can we get on with this?" Blair asked, interrupting their argument.

"So, we're all voting for Bren tonight?" Haley asked, looking around the circle. The nods of agreement came one at a time: first Joe, then Russell, Blair, Kestrel, and finally Lacey.

**

* * *

**

The Tortoises' Party

"Dose are some really nice _gafas de sol_."

"Is that sunglasses?"

"_Sí_."

"They're Prada. They'd better be nice."

"Dey look good on you."

"Thanks."

Sienna and Glisa were lying back in two chairs tanning and watching the boys throw the football. Sienna was sporting a pair of glamorous sunglasses, which she insisted matched her yellow and white bathing suit perfectly, and had a magazine in her lap. The pair watched as Irving through the ball to Morty, who had to jump up in the air to catch it. Glisa could help but notice that Sienna seemed to be staring at Irving's bare chest.

"You like Irving, right?" she asked.

"What was your first clue?" Sienna replied sarcastically.

"That's what I thought. You think he's _attractivo, __¿__verdad_?"

"Attractive? Hell yeah. Have you seen the guy?"

"You know who I think is_ attractivo_?"

"Who?"

"Morty."

"Really?" Sienna asked. Glisa nodded in response. "You don't think he's too short?"

"Even if he's _corto_, he's still cute!"

Sienna laughed at that, mostly just because of the tone of voice she used. Her laughing stopped, however, when she saw Irving walking out of the water. He was well-built… and wet… that combination really caught Sienna's attention. She actually gasped when seeing him. Glisa laughed at the queen bee when Irving noticed and slipped her a wink, walking over to the girls.

"Hi, Irving." Sienna giggled.

"'ello, Sienna. What're you reading?"

"Gossip magazine. Why? You want it?"

"No. I'd prefer actual reading material myself."

"Oh." Sienna frowned at that, shutting the glossy pages of the magazine. "Why'd you get out of the water?"

"Tom and Morty were cheating-"

"No we weren't!" Tom shouted from out in the water in a kidding tone. "It just _looked_ like we were purposefully throwing it out of your reach."

"You should chuck the ball right at them." Sienna suggested. "You proved you're good at throwing in the challenge."

"You had quite an arm yourself. You hit Carrie in the face hard!"

Sienna frowned when he mentioned Carrie. That was when an idea came to her mind. "Are you still mad at her for stealing your harmonica?"

"Kind of." Irving replied. "Why?"

"Because I have the best idea of how you could get revenge…"

* * *

The fire crackled in the dark as the Devious Deer filed into the campfire pit for the third time in a row. It was humiliating knowing that they'd only beaten the other team in the first challenge, and that was only because that Lacey had gotten the others to technically cheat. The Deer sat on their stumps and watched Chris step out of the darkness holding a plate of marshmallows.

"Deer dudes and dudettes." He said. "This is seriously pathetic. You're here for the third time in four days. What the heck happened out there?"

"Aaron had a strategy." Carrie pointed out.

"_Somebody_ had a secret boyfriend and was distracted from the game!" Tanya glared.

"Chef Hatchet tried to kill me." Bren stated.

"Well it wasn't only pathetic… but it was lame. For a while, I thought you guys were winning. Unfortunately… you didn't. And now you're here with me."

The host gave his speech about marshmallows representing life, if you don't get one you walk the Dock of Shame, you can't come back ever, and all that jazz and then picked up the marshmallow in the right corner of the plate.

"The first marshmallow of the night goes to…" he took his typical dramatic pause before saying, "Jayna." The environmentalist accepted her marshmallow with a smile. "Next we'll have Kestrel, Addy, Russell, and Blair," he tossed the treats to their respective owners, "Lacey, Carrie, Tanya, and Joe… and that just leaves you two."

The remaining campers that were sitting on their stumps were Haley and Bren, both looking surprised to be there.

"Haley, you messed up by having your secret boyfriend run across the battlefield to help you out. Bren, you messed up by being away from the challenge for so long being chased by Chef Hatchet." Chris explained. "Bad performances from both of you. Seriously, dudes. Not cool."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "I feel really bad for voting for you, but Tanya's right. You deserve this."

Russell: "Hey," he shrugs, "I can't vote for my sister."

Tanya: "You totally should've seen this coming."

Blair: "I can't believe I was pulled in by Kestrel and Joe to vote for you." She shrugs. "I kind of think this is a bad move, but you _did_ mess up."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"The final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Haley."

"Yes!" Haley accepted her marshmallow with a smile. "Sorry Bren!"

"It's okay… I guess." Bren said, getting up and walking the Dock of Shame.

"You idiots _do_ realize you just voted off our strongest camper, right?" Tanya asked her teammates.

"That's what I said…" Lacey muttered, earning a slap in the arm from Joe. "Well I did."

Bren's teammates waved goodbye as he stepped onto the Boat of Losers. When the boat sailed away, however, he was shocked when the driver stepped out to show his identity: it was Chef Hatchet holding a squirt gun.

"You didn't think I was done with you yet, did ya?"

**

* * *

**

Outside the Deer Girls' Cabin

After the campfire ceremony, the Tremendous Tortoises had been driven back to the campgrounds. When Irving spotted the Deer girls going out to the communal bathrooms, he realized this was his chance to get into their cabin.

Getting into the cabin was easy: he'd actually waltzed right in through the front door. Figuring out which bed was hers was pretty easy as well: her comforter had a Union Jack splashed across it. Figuring out what to steal was the hard part.

After looking around her area, Irving decided to take the pair of high-heeled leather boots that she usually were lying next to her bed. They looked expensive and she wore them everyday. She'd notice they were gone instantly. He crept back to his cabin and hid them under his bed, hoping nobody had seen him take them.

**

* * *

**

I would like you to know that this isn't a midnight update in my time zone like the rest... it was an 11:55 update.

**So... the Deer voted off Bren. Was it a smart move? We'll see...**

**Sorry for all of the short scenes in this one. I was trying to focus on everybody!**

**Okay, the readers' question I told you guys about: Is there a song that you think really represents or describes your character or another character in the story?**

**Next chapter is a challenge that I can't wait for, and it's also where I'm going to try out you guys voting somebody off!**

**Questions? Comments? Requests? Concerns? Submit it in a review or PM!**


	15. Ep5, Pt1: 10 Hours of Total Drama

****

The reviews have done a 180… okay, no they didn't spin around in a half circle, but that's how many there are! 180… holy crud… you guys kick butt.

**You know what I love? How sometimes when you're reading a story on Fanfiction the ads at the top and bottom of the page sometimes correspond with the story. Like when you're reading a Twilight story, there'll be ads for things like "Which Twilight character are you?" and "Vamp-site. Everyone here's a fang banger", or if you read a story on TDI that mentions Goth in the title (like if it's about Gwen), sometimes there'll be ads for "Goth Scene" and all that. Then, of course, there's when you're reading a story and there's anti-cellulite ads all over the place…**

**This chapter will explain why I ask you questions at the end of the chapters. If you don't get what I'm trying to hint at by the end of the chapter, read the reader's question at the end of Chapter Seven: Talent Doesn't Come in Packs (which is technically chapter 9, but whatever.)**

**Sorry about the fact that this chapter is practically a filler. It's the only way I could write the challenge.**

**Disclaimer: Insert witty (or so I think) comment about not owning Total Drama Island here.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: 10 Hours of Total Drama**

"Last time on Total Drama Island: Again!" Chris stood on the dock beside the Camp Wawanakwa sign. "Rivalries flared! A relationship was discovered! Giant squids attacked! Chef Hatchet scarred our eyes with his tight wetsuit and floatie! And this all happened at the beach!"

_(A scene of Chris pushing floatie-clad Chef out of his way to get on the bus is shown, followed by the campers unloading from the bus and onto the beach.)_

"The challenge was a sand fight, and the two teams fought hard for the reward… some members more than others may I add."

_(A clip of Blair getting hit in the chest, Lacey ducking behind Joe Howlett, and Irving, Morty, and Tom throwing sand balls appear on the screen. When those images were done, a clip of Sienna crouching behind the sand barrier and fixing her hair appears.)_

"Some campers were sent into the water, where they ran into my little surprise for them: squids!"

_(Clips of Jayna beating the squid over the head with the bucket, Kestrel getting sprayed with ink and then crawling out of the water with the squid on his face, Jake, Kit-Kat, and Glisa in the squid's underwater condo, and Kyra attempting to get the squid off of Joe Freeman's face show up.)_

"When Kyra finally decided to get into the battle, she ended up hitting the one person she didn't want to hit in the face: her new friend Russell! Kyra was soon hit in the face by a whipped ball of sand from Blair, who was oddly enough defending her teammate."

_(Shows Russell getting hit in the face, Kyra shouting his name worriedly, and Blair throwing the ball in his defense)_

"Bren attempted to get some more sand on the other team and chucked Morty across the beach. Unfortunately for him, he landed on top of Chef's sand sculpture, destroying it to bits! This led up to a crazy squirt gun battle, which Bren eventually lost."

_(Shows Chef Hatchet asking Morty who threw him, Chef chasing after Bren on the beach, and Bren pulling the trigger on the empty squirt gun)_

"Riley attempted to be helpful by throwing a giant ball of sand only for it to land on his girlfriend! The idiot rushed across the battlefield and unburied Haley, angering Tanya and exposing their once secret relationship in the process!"

_(An image of Riley running across the beach, him pushing Tanya back into the sand, and Haley thanking him is shown.)_

"Eventually it was Bren who was voted out by the Devious Deer. Was that a smart move? Probably not. Will voting off their strongest player harm the Deer in the upcoming challenges? Find out this time on Total… Drama… Island… Again!"

_(Theme song!)_

**

* * *

**

The Tortoise Girls' Cabin

"What do you think? Too pink?"

"Well, I would've gone with blood red myself."

"That might look good on you Sienna, but I prefer pastels." Kit-Kat placed the top back on the bottle of bubblegum pink nail polish and leaned her arm over the side of her bed. "Hey Daphne, could you put this back in my bag?"

"Sure," Daphne took the nail polish from the hand dangling from the bunk above her and placed it in the sapphire blue bag that rested against the leg of their bunk.

The five Tortoise girls were all in their cabin, clean from all sand and in their pajamas. Glisa was lying in her bunk with a pair of headphones on, her feet and hands rapidly tapping to the beat. Above her, Kyra was doodling in a notebook, which whenever anybody tried to sneak a peek at it looked a lot like she was drawing hearts around her and somebody else's names. Sienna was reading yet another magazine, though she kept putting it down and looking around impatiently as though she was waiting for something. Kit-Kat had just finished painting her toe nails and talking to Daphne.

"Hey guys," Kyra spoke up. "Do you think there's a guy on the island who likes me?"

Kit-Kat, Daphne, and Sienna's heads all turned to look at her (Glisa was distracted by her music). That was really random.

"Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Is that what you've been writing this whole time?" Sienna asked.

"No!" Kyra said defensively, hugging her notebook to her chest.

"I think that's a yes!"

"No, it's not!"

"Then why are you blushing?" Kit-Kat teased.

"I'm not!" It was obvious to the others that Kyra's face had a reddish tint to it on her cheeks, though she pulled her notebook up so that it was right under her nose in an attempt to cover it.

"It's nothing to be ashamed about." Daphne told her teammate. "Unless it's Riley. That'd be something to be ashamed about."

"You really scared him yesterday!" Kyra said, glad they were off topic. "I mean, his face was so scared, I thought he-"

"WHERE ARE MY BOOTS?!"

The cabin went silent as a tortured-sounding scream erupted from the cabin next door. Glisa had even stopped her music.

"THEY'RE NOT HERE!" the voice sounded frantic. "WHO TOOK THEM? WHERE DID THEY GO?!"

The only reaction was the corner of Sienna's mouth curling into a pleased smile.

**

* * *

**

The Deer Girls' Cabin

"Where are they?! I left them right here!" Carrie was rummaging frantically through her belongings, throwing things across the room in a hope to find her possession. "I NEED MY BOOTS!" She unzipped a compartment in her suitcase and started to throw the items in it over her shoulder.

"What are you looking-" Addy stopped talking when a pair of panties landed on her shoulder. "Ew!"

"I think what she's trying to say is: what the heck are you looking for?" Blair supplied, sitting way back in her bunk to avoid the angry barrage of underwear.

"My boots! My high heeled leather boots that I wear all the time!" Carrie explained, getting on her hands and knees and looking under her bed. "I left them right here, and now they're gone!"

"Can't you just make another pair?" Jayna asked. "Aren't you a fashion designer?"

Carrie suddenly stopped rummaging and got up off of her knees, plopping herself down on her bed. Nobody knew what the sudden silence was for until a tear trickled down her cheek. "I can't make another pair like that…" she muttered, her voice cracking a little bit. "They were a gift."

Most of her cabin-mates were stunned to see her cry. Carrie was very sturdy and self-confident. Seeing her cry was just plain old strange.

"Well," Addy spoke up. "All gifts have to be bought somewhere, right? Can't you just buy a new one?"

Carrie started to cry harder at that. "You don't get it! My b-b-boots were a gift from a fan. She was really devoted; she'd even send fan mail!" she paused for a minute to take a deep breath. "Sh-she gave the boots to me as a g-g-gift. I decided I would thank her in p-p-person and attempted to get in touch with her a c-c-couple of days later…" she let out another sob. "When I called to th-thank her, it turns out she'd gotten… hit by a car." She looked downwards at the floor, wiping the hair from her eyes. "My shoes meant a lot to me. I've kept them since then to remember the fan and to show people h-h-how much the gift m-meant to me."

A moment later, Carrie found Haley and Addy plopped down on either side of her on the bed. They both had sympathetic looks on their faces.

"I feel so bad for you." Haley said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I mean, I always liked shoes, but I never knew that they could have a sad story behind them!"

"We will find those boots no matter what it takes!" Addy insisted, a determined tone to her voice. "I bet somebody _stole_ them… somebody evil!" She got up off of the bed and opened the cabin door, marching outside shouting, "Detective Meisner is on the case!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "There must be a traitor at this camp!" she insisted, shifting her eyes from one wall to another. "Somebody is trying to sabotage Carrie! And I think I know exactly who it is…"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

The Tortoise Guys' Cabin

"Wait, so you're going out with Haley?"

"Yep."

"She actually likes you?"

"Hell yeah."

Joe Freeman gaped at Riley. In Joe's opinion, Haley was attractive. She was one of those girls that he'd love to draw, maybe even make her into a comic book character or something. Riley, on the other hand, was a jerk. Joe couldn't see how a guy like him could end up with a girl like Haley, who was nice and friendly and really likeable.

"This show is so twisted…" he muttered under his breath, just as the door to the Tortoises' cabin slammed open. In walked Addy with a serious expression on her face. She was clad in only an extremely oversized purple shirt with the Cadbury's logo on the front and a pair of green and orange polka dotted socks.

"What are _you_ doing in here?" Riley snapped.

"Sir, don't talk to an officer unless you are spoken to." Addy replied, walking into the middle of the room. "Alright boys. I'm Detective Adriana Meisner and I've been hired by my client, Miss Carrie Madison." Nobody noticed Irving bite his lip when hearing this. "Miss Madison has gotten a valuable possession stolen from her: a pair of boots. And I know that one of you took 'em." As she spoke, Irving sat down on his bunk, kicking Carrie's boots farther under his bed. "I know exactly who the thief is, so don't try to hide from me…" she looked around the room until pointing her finger directly at the suspect. She gave him a glare and then marched straight up to him. "I know it was you Mr. _Freeman_!"

"Me?" Joe asked, pointing to himself. "Why me?"

"It's so obvious that it was you!" Addy… ahem, _Detective Meisner_ accused. "It's so obvious that you were jealous because my client had better hair than you!"

"Better hair? Oh no way, I like my hair." As if to prove the point, he ran his hands through the few hairs he had.

"I can tell when you're lying, swamp scum!"

"Swamp scum?"

"Trailer park scum, then!"

"I think you've got the wrong person, Add-"

"That's Detective Meisner to you, city scum!"

"You've totally got the wrong person!" Joe Freeman protested when she grabbed him by the waistband of his baggy pants. "You don't get it; I'm from a small farming community! No swamps, trailer parks, or cities here!"

"Put a sock in it." Addy said, turning sharply on her heel and heading for the door, accidentally flashing the boys her bright yellow panties. "We're going downtown with you, thiefje."

"You've got the wrong person! I've never even spoken to Carrie!" Joe shouted as she dragged him out the door. "Plus, we're on an island! We don't even have a downtown!" The door slammed behind him and all that could be heard from inside the cabin was his screams in pain from Addy dragging him down the porch stairs.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Freeman: He sighs and shakes his head in disappointment. "Like I said. This show is so twisted…"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Deer Girls

"Do you really think it was a bright idea sending _Addy_ out to find something?" Tanya asked Carrie, walking a circle around her scanning the floor. The British girl had found a box of Kleenex and was rapidly wiping her face and blowing her nose, the tissues landing on the floor whenever she was done with them. Tanya wanted their cabin to look as tidy as possible, so she was pacing around Carrie picking up any of her tissues with another tissue just so none of her snot or tears would get on her hands.

"Hey," Carrie sniffled. "I wasn't the one who s-s-sent her out. She d-d-did that all on her own."

As if on cue, the cabin door burst open and Addy walked in dragging Joe Freeman behind her.

"Addy?" Haley questioned. "What are you doing with Joe?"

"Policeje business, ma'am." Addy stated. "Don't interfere."

"I have nothing to do with this!" Joe protested, flailing his arms around as Addy dragged him across the wooden floor and hauled him onto her empty bed. He just gave her a confused look as she glared at him.

"Where were you on Monday the 29th of February at ninety four hundred hours?" she snapped.

"Nowhere." Joe replied.

"Liar! You had to have been somewhere!"

"Okay, first off, February only has 28 days." The comic artist explained. "And second, there are only twenty four hours in a day, so ninety four h-"

"Did I _ask_ for a science lesson?!"

Joe just gave her a confused look. "That's not science. It's-"

"Shut yer pie hole, thief!"

"I've already told you, Addy, I'm not the thief!"

"Did I not already say to call me Detective Meisner?!"

"Detective Meisner, then!" Joe Freeman whimpered as Addy neared his face, baring her teeth at him.

"He didn't do it, Addy." Jayna spoke up from where she sat.

"Yeah, let him go." Haley agreed.

"How do _you_ know?" Addy asked, turned to her friends.

"What would he do with Carrie's boots?" Blair questioned.

"Maybe he's secretly a cross dresser like you!" Addy insisted. "I mean, can't you imagine him in a long blonde wigje and mascara and-"

"Stop, please!" Joe insisted. "I promise you I'm not a cross dresser!"

"L-l-let him go, Addy." Carrie whimpered, wiping her nose. "He didn't do it."

Addy nodded and stepped to the side, letting Joe Freeman scramble out from the bunk and run towards the door.

"Thanks Carrie!" he said, opening the screen door and running out.

"No problem."

* * *

Morning came and Detective Meisner had not found a lead on the case of the missing boots. The two teams filed into the Mess Hall, gotten their slop (today's special: bluish hash brown-like things that were oozing lavender slime), and sat at their respective tables groggily. Chris had woken them up with a bullhorn.

None of the Tremendous Tortoises noticed Irving constantly watching Carrie, trying to make sure she wasn't completely falling apart from the loss of her footwear. When he saw her plunk down onto the wooden bench between Lacey and Blair, he realized that maybe taking the boots was a mistake. Her eyes looked bloodshot, makeup smudged under her eyes and marking her cheeks. Her hair looked limp, her curls not as lively as they usually were. Overall, she looked like hell.

"Irving, your gruel's crawling away." Morty's voice broke Irving's observing and he looked down to his plate. His food was squirming its way off of his plate, leaving a slimy purple streak across the table. Irving picked up his fork and stuck it in the back of the squirming object, the food letting out a tiny but shrill shriek in the process, and dragged it back to his plate.

Morty grimaced. "Ew, dude."

"Yeah." Irving nodded, his eyes drifting up to Carrie scraping her food around on her plate, obviously having no intentions of even attempting to eat it.

"Move, short stuff." A familiar female voice said, putting an arm in the space between where Morty sat next to Irving and shoving the dark haired boy to the side. Sienna stepped over the bench and sat down, placing her plate on the table. "So, how does it feel to know you got your revenge on Carrie?"

"Pretty crappy." Irving remarked.

Sienna's brow furrowed. "Crappy? Why?"

"Look at her." Irving pointed his fork (which was now covered in a violet slime because he stabbed his food) towards Carrie. "She's a mess."

"So? Isn't that the desired effect?"

"Not exactly. I didn't think she'd look like rubbish just because I stole a pair of boots."

"Don't you get it?" Sienna asked, scooting a bit closer to him. "This is supposed to be the good part of getting revenge: seeing your victim's reaction. This is exactly what you wanted her to do. Now she can feel all the pain you felt when she stole something belonging to you."

"It wasn't really a big deal, Sienna." Irving claimed. "It was just a harmonica. I could always buy a new-"

"Think of the big picture, Irving." Sienna said, making a wide gesture with her hands representing the 'big picture'. "She stole your harmonica. You were our star act for the talent show. If we didn't have Kyra, we would've lost the talent show because we didn't have our headliner. That little British bitch could've cost us the challenge."

"I guess when you put it that way…"

"I knew we'd see eye to eye." Sienna smiled. "Now, let's just cherish the moment while we still have it."

Meanwhile at the Deer table, Kestrel, Russell, and Joe Howlett were trying to figure out what was up with Carrie. Carrie wouldn't answer, muttering something about not wanting to talk about it and then resting her chin on the table miserably.

"Is she okay?" Kestrel asked.

"Fine…" Carrie muttered.

"What's up with her?" Joe Howlett questioned, watching as Carrie's food circled her.

"You don't need to know, Joe." Lacey said, stabbing Carrie's food and dragging it away before it could climb into her hair.

"Oh wow, you're such a genius." Joe commented. "It takes some brains to be able to rhyme know with Joe, Racy Lacey."

"Racy Lacey, huh?" she questioned, receiving a smirk from the guy across from her. At that she picked up the fork with the food on the end of it and pulled it back, sending the slop in his direction. He moved to the side as it came towards him, the glob landing on his shoulder rather than his face. "Oh, look at that. Too slow, Joe. Just like those sand balls-"

"Hey, that was your fault! You-"

"Will you please just _shut up_!?" Blair shouted. "Can't you see Carrie's miserable?"

"No. It's fine. Go ahead." Carrie waved a hand in the air, waving it around limply as if to encourage them. "I'll just sit here and be down in the dumps."

That one comment alone got the entire table to stop talking, Russell muttering something that sounded a lot like "I think she's suffering from depression."

As if the word "depression" was his cue, Chris McLean came bursting through the Mess Hall doors. With him he was wheeling a cart with a projector hooked up to a laptop sitting on it.

"Hello, campers!" he shouted, wheeling the cart to the middle of the room. "It's movie time!"

"This is my kind of challenge!" Joe Howlett exclaimed. "What're we watching?"

Chris pulled a DVD case off of the cart and held it up for them to see. "The complete first season of Total Drama Island!" He ejected the CD drive and put the DVD in, the computer making whirring sounds in the process. "Bring it out, Chef!"

Chef Hatchet came out of the kitchen with a folded off-white cloth and a stapler in his hands. He tucked the two items under his arm and started to climb the fireplace on the back wall of the Mess Hall, looking kind of like King Kong as he did so. Once he got to the moose antlers that were nailed to the top of the fire place, he stood on top of them. He then grabbed one of the rafters on the ceiling and swung on it like monkey bars until reaching the left side of the Mess Hall. He gripped the stapler between his teeth as he unfolded the cloth, the fabric touching the ground when it was completely unrolled. He stapled one of its corners to the wall with a ton of staples and then swung his way to the other side of the room, doing the same with the opposite corner. He then dropped to the ground with a loud "THUD!" and made his way back to the kitchen, grumbling something about not getting paid enough.

The large cloth was an eggshell white color, had streaks of dirt running down it, and was torn around some of the edges. It had patches sewn into it of all different colors, obviously covering up holes, and was slightly wrinkled. When Chris turned on the projector and a DVD menu shone onto the cloth, it was obvious that it was serving as their movie screen for the day.

"So, they could actually fit the whole first season of Total Drama Island on one DVD?" Tom asked as Chris flicked the lights off.

"No. It's a four disc set." The host replied, walking back over to the computer.

"How long is this going to take?!"

"The back of the box says 594 minutes."

"We're going to be sitting here for 10 hours?!" Jake shouted. "It's only seven in the morning! We'll be here until 5 o'clock tonight!"

"Hey," Chris shrugged, taking a seat at the end of the Devious Deer's table. "I wouldn't be complaining. That's 10 hours of seeing my face over and over and over!"

The campers groaned and attempted to get comfortable as Chris pressed the play button on the menu.

**

* * *

**

7:40 AM…

The campers were still all watching the show play on the screen. They were nearing the end of Not So Happy Campers Part 2, and were just at the part where Ezekiel had made his sexist comments, angering the female members of the Killer Bass.

"What is wrong with that guy?" Kit-Kat asked. "Sexism is _so_ wrong."

Daphne just shrugged beside her. "He's not that bad."

"Seriously?" Kit-Kat gaped. "I thought you'd have an opinion about it since I can imagine get so much prejudice for being different and everything."

"I've seen worse."

"Worse?!"

"I feel bad for the poor prairie boy. They should've given him more of a chance since he'd lived a sheltered life and didn't know any better. My brother's worse than him."

Kit-Kat rolled her eyes. "Brothers. Who needs them?"

"What's wrong with _your_ brother?" Daphne asked. Kit-Kat just gave her a wide grin, showing her teeth. She pointed to where a tooth should be, only to shock Daphne.

"He knocked one of my teeth out with a baseball."

**

* * *

**

7: 53 AM…

"Favorite song?"

"_She Would Be Loved_. Favorite color?"

"Midnight blue."

"Ooh, mysterious. I like that."

"Ugh, what is this crap?" Joe Howlett scoffed at Trent's flirting. The campers were halfway through the Awake-a-thon and some were already getting bored. Carrie still hadn't picked her head up off of the table and was lightly snoring. She presumably hadn't gotten much sleep last night because of her crying. Haley and Riley were flirtatiously waving and mouthing things to each other from across the room. Russell was being poked and prodded by Addy, who claimed he had something to do with a pair of missing boots.

"What do you mean by crap?" Lacey asked Joe, not taking her eyes off of the screen.

"I mean that Trent is cheesier than a grilled cheese sandwich." He replied, grimacing as Gwen blushed at Trent's comment. "And yet Gwen falls for his cheese."

"I take it you either don't like Trent or really like Gwen?"

"Both."

"What's wrong with Trent?"

"He makes us regular guys look bad."

"Huh. Weird." Lacey shrugged. "I liked Trent."

"See!" Joe pointed as if to prove his point. "See what he does!"

"What can I say? I've got a thing for green eyes."

"Will you shut up?" Blair asked Lacey from over Carrie's head. "Your Trent gushing is making me want to barf."

Lacey stopped talking and turned back to the movie only to whip her head away, realizing they were on the scene where Owen was nude.

**

* * *

**

8:35 AM…

"Ah," Chris exclaimed. "Doesn't this just bring back memories?" He gestured towards the screen where the episode Not Quite Famous was playing. In other words: the talent show.

"I'd prefer not to think about it…" Tom grimaced, thinking of almost shooting his teammates with an arrow.

"Don't remind me of the harmonica incident…" Irving grimaced.

"Harmonica… cheesecake…" Carrie muttered in her sleep, snoring a little.

"That was fun!" Kyra giggled.

"That butterfly was an impostor. It didn't match up with my story at all!" Kestrel commented. He received confused looks from his teammates.

"Why didn't we vote him off again?" Tanya questioned. Jayna just shrugged.

"Whoa, look at Geoff go on his skateboard!" Aaron shouted, pointing at the screen where Geoff was riding up the side of the stump as he auditioned.

"Geoff's your favorite camper?" Jake asked him.

"Oh yeah, that guy is a party animal!"

**

* * *

**

9:08 AM…

"Now what?!"

"You wanna make out?"

"Aw, isn't it so cute?" Kit-Kat gushed at Duncan and Courtney's locked antlers on the screen in front of them. Yes, that's right, Paintball Deer Hunter.

"Ugh. You liked Duncan?" Jake commented.

"Love-hate relationships are so cute!" the pastry chef gushed.

"Yeah, but Duncan was a total jerk… to both deer and trees." Jake replied, semi-quoting Lindsay from the first episode.

"Don't forget that he was a jerk to other people, too." Tom pitched in. "He mindlessly picked on all of the less cool guys." He paused for a moment. "Speaking of which, this isn't the episode where Cody gets voted off, is it?" They nodded in response. "Darn it. I kind of liked that guy."

"Why?"

"I saw a little bit of myself in him."

**

* * *

**

11:06 AM…

Most of the campers were either really annoyed or really bored. Carrie's snoring had irritated everybody around her, Blair actually getting up and sitting beside Tanya of all people (only because she was at the other end of the table). Russell and Jayna had their heads down on the table because Tanya and Blair had started to argue as soon as they got near each other. Kestrel had to sit with his hands over his ears because Addy was now blaming him for a pair of missing boots. Glisa and Kyra were babbling in a conversation. Aaron was attempting to stay awake.

"Listen up you little cockroaches! I want all campers to report to the Dock of Shame at 09:00 hours! That means now!"

When hearing the oh too familiar voice growl from the loudspeaker on the screen, the kitchen door burst open and Chef Hatchet ran into the room.

"My episode's on?" the large man asked. "Why didn't you tell me? I love watching my boot camp over and over and over and ov-"

"Yeah, we get it, Chef." Chris retorted. "Just sit down."

"Look at me! I have a megaphone!" Chef pointed out, sitting at the head of the Tremendous Tortoises' table. All the Tortoises slid down a bit when the unibrow-sporting cook sat down. He was giddy with excitement from seeing his own face.

**

* * *

**

11:50 AM…

As Brunch of Disgustingness played across the screen for the campers, Haley found something seize her ankle. She kicked at whatever it was in confusion only to be yanked under the table, yelping in the process.

"Where were you at 74:00 hours on July 17th 1934?" a familiar voice questioned.

"I wasn't alive then." Haley replied. "But Addy, what are you-"

"That's _Detective Meisner_ to you, missy!" the hyper girl corrected. Haley just groaned.

"You pulled me under here for the boots?"

"Yes I did." Addy nodded, keeping a tight grip on Haley's ankle. "I figured out that the only way that somebody could get to the client's boots is if they were inside the cabin. Obviously we had a spy from the inside. That'd be you Miss Figgins!"

"Addy, why would I ever steal Carrie's shoes when I have plenty of shoes with me?" Haley asked.

"I don't know. That's what I'm going to find out."

"I didn't touch Carrie's boots."

Addy gave her a conspicuously untrusting look. "You're being honest?"

"What do I have to lie about?"

Addy released Haley's ankle a moment later, the fun girl squirming up onto the picnic table bench again. The Dutch girl then started crawling on her hands and knees down the table until she got to the pair of legs she was looking for. She grabbed onto a pair of lightly tanned ankles and pulled, her victim shrieking at the yank.

"Where were you on Valentine's Day 1776?"

The person in front of her groaned in pain, and then looked up at her. "Addy?"

"That's Detective Meisner to you, Jayna!"

The environmentalist just sighed. "Is this about the boots?"

**

* * *

**

12:40 PM…

"I can't believe Heather would do that to poor Gwen and Trent!" Kyra shouted, pointing at the TV screen where Gwen had just dropped her "love letter" and had burst into tears.

"I feel bad for Gwen." Morty nodded, agreeing with Kyra. "She was awesome. I hate Heather."

"Eh, I could do worse." Sienna remarked, casually inspecting her nails.

"What?!" Kyra and Morty questioned.

"I _said_ that I could probably do worse." Sienna was obvious irritated at having to repeat herself. "Heather and I have a lot in common."

"You're probably the only person in here that actually _liked_ Heather the meanie butt!" Kyra argued.

"Um, make that one of the only _two_ people." Irving said.

"What?!"

Irving just shrugged. "She's nice to look at."

"He has a point there." Morty nodded. "I think I like Heather a little bit more now that you pointed that out, actually!"

"Trent!" Lacey shouted at the other table as Leshawna started whispering into peoples' ears about her plan to vote off the 'two timers'. "No! Don't vote him off! Who can I look at for the rest of the episodes?!"

"Well," Tanya commented. "There's always that pig Duncan. Or Owen."

"What about DJ?" Jayna suggested. "He's nice and likes animals!"

Lacey just rolled her eyes. "Geoff it is."

In her sleep, Carrie snored something about feeling bad for Gwen.

**

* * *

**

1:54 PM…

"Well, it's obvious to everyone that Gwen wins invincibility. Sadly, it's equally unanimous that DJ walks the Dock of Shame since he was the only one who screamed and bolted without the escaped psycho killer even _being_ there. But, no hard feelings, dude. You will be missed."

"Aw, group hug!"

"Ew. Group hugs." Sienna commented, grimacing at the group hug. "Even Heather was in it! What the hell?!"

"I can't believe DJ didn't make it farther." Jake complained. "That guy was a guy I could get along with."

"Let me guess," Daphne said. "Because he liked animals?"

"Bingo." Jake nodded. "Bridgette the environmentalist was already voted out, so there was no hope there."

**

* * *

**

2:38 PM…

"Geoff, no!" Aaron and Lacey both shouted at the same time when Chris handed the last marshmallow to Gwen on the screen.

"My eye candy!" Lacey groaned in frustration.

"The party animal!" Aaron said, seeming to be equally as frustrated. Their two exclamations woke up Carrie from her nap.

"Huh?" the designer asked, perking up from the table. She looked around, her eyes squinting from the sleep. "Where are we again?"

"Just don't ask." Blair replied. "It'd be much easier."

"What's wrong with you?" Tom asked Aaron. "You still have Owen with his yacht party."

Aaron paused for a minute. "Oh. You're right." He shrugged. "Go, Owen, go!"

**

* * *

**

4:15 PM…

"Shave her head! Shave her head! Shave her head!" Most people in the room were chanting this, pounding their fists on the table as onscreen Chris finished reading Lindsay's dare.

"Shave the bitch's head! Shave her head! Shave her head!" An eruption of cheers burst through the room when Heather kicked the razor in Chef's hands and it landed on her head, the buzzing sounds audible. The queen bee sat back up so her head was on camera, revealing her patchy strands of hair. The cheers just got louder. Distracted by Heather's semi-bald head, none of the Tremendous Tortoises noticed when Riley was pulled under their table.

"Where were you on Halloween three years ago?"

Riley's eyes widened. "Crap, did my neighbors send you?! Because if they did I _swear_ I wasn't the kid wearing the sweet zombie costume that oozed blood when you pressed a certain button that egged their house when the windows were open!"

"Oh, so I see you have a track recordje, huh Mr. Smith?"

"Yeah, I do- wait. Aren't you that hyper chick from the other team?"

Addy glared at the prankster. "I'll be asking the questions here, bub!"

"Whatever."

"Do you know anything about a certain pair of stolen boots?"

"If I was going to steal something it would be something more valuable than a pair of boots, Swedish girl."

"Okay, first off I'm Dutch, not Swedish, and second off: you will address me _only_ as Detective Meisner!"

"More like _defective_ Meisner."

"Where were you last night?"

"Ask your mother."

Addy's jaw dropped. "My mother would _never_ talk to somebody as gross as you! As a matter of fact, neither would I!" she let go of Riley's ankle and he smirked, crawling back onto his seat. Addy looked at her hand that was clutching his ankle. "I really have to wash this."

**

* * *

**

4:42 PM…

"No, no, guys… my hair! DUUUUUUUDES!!!"

"I've been wanting to do that all summer! How do you like that, pretty boy?!"

"Oh _Chef_…"

"You're next, dude!"

"We should do dat at de end of dis season." Glisa commented.

"I agree." Joe Freeman nodded. "That would be awesome."

As the credits started to roll, the two teams breathed out sighs of relief as Chris got up and flicked the lights back on, standing at the front of the room in front of the makeshift movie screen.

"Oh crud…" Kestrel commented when seeing the host stand in the front of the room smiling. "He's not going to say-"

"Okay, now that our movie marathon was over, are you ready for your _actual_ challenge?"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kestrel: "He said it…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Challenge?!" Jaws went down. Spending ten hours watching the stupid show wasn't enough?

"Yes, a challenge!" Chris chuckled. "You seriously should've seen this coming. Your challenge is… What Season is this Again? If you hadn't already noticed, there are 22 of you left and the first season started off with only 22 campers. In this challenge, you will all be given a camper at random that you have to literally _be_ from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM tomorrow. And by _be_ I mean that you will actually have to play the part of your camper. You will have to capture their personality, hang out with their friends, hate their enemies, talk the way they do, and look the part!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Blair interrupted Chris. "I'm not playing dress-up, especially not as one of the bimbos from last season. There will be no Goth corsets, blue hair bandanas, short shorts, or sweatervests coming anywhere near me anytime soon!"

"You don't have a choice unless you want to lose!" Chris smiled. "You will have to stay in character from 7 to 7 tomorrow anytime the camera is on you. Considering we've trained a lot more interns and crew to be cameramen, trust me. You'll be on camera all the time. If you are caught out of character on camera three times, you're out and will report here where you will wait out the remaining time. At the end of the twelve hours, whoever is still in character wins. If there is more than one person left, Chef and I will choose a first and second place winner. First place wins it for their team. If second is on a separate team than first place, they get immunity for the night. Got it?"

He received moans and groans in return.

"Okay then, Chef Hatchet, bring out the hats they can draw the names from!"

Chef walked out of the kitchen holding a sombrero in one hand and a black velvet top hat in the other. Each were filled with little pieces of paper and crudely labeled with sticky notes. The top hat read "Dudes", the sombrero reading "Dudettes." He handed the hats to Chris and then walked back into his kitchen, growling under his breath.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Chef Hatchet: "Those were my two favorite hats."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, everybody stand up and get into the middle of the room. If the camper I call for you was on the Killer Bass, sit to my right, Screaming Gophers to my left." The campers reluctantly stood in the center of the room. "Okay, so since we have 12 girls and 10 guys left and the first season started off with 11 of each, I'm going to pull one guys' name at random," he dunked his hand into the top hat and pulled out a random sheet of paper, dropping it into the sombrero. "Since there's now a guy's name in the girls' hat, one of you lucky ladies will portray a guy!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: She has her eyes clamped tightly shut and her fingers crossed and is rapidly chanting, "Please let me be the guy, please let me be the guy, please let me be the guy…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, who wants to be first?" Nobody in the crowd raised their hand. "Okay, I guess I'll have to choose somebody." Chris scanned the group in front of him for a minute and pointed at Joe Freeman. "You first, Charlie Brown."

"Okay, then…" Joe stepped up to Chris and plunged his hand into the top hat, shuffling around for a paper. He finally pulled one out and unfolded it.

"What does it say?" Chris asked.

"**Cody**." Joe replied. He shrugged. "That's not that bad. Actually, it's a pretty good choice."

"Screaming Gophers table," the host pointed to his left and Joe walked over, smiling at his teammates.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Freeman: "I think I might have gotten lucky on that one." The comic artist admits. "I could've gotten somebody worse like Owen or Duncan or Noah or something!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Who's next?" Chris asked.

"I guess I'll go." Kyra shrugged, stepping up to the sombrero. She shuffled the papers around and then came out with one and unfolded it. "**Leshawna**? She's nice! I was hoping for somebody more fun though."

She walked over to the Screaming Gophers' table and sat beside Joe Freeman, ignoring some of the campers' snickers that she would be portraying Leshawna of all people.

Kestrel stepped up next, pulling **Noah**'s name from the top hat. Russell came after him, pulling out **Tyler** to his dismay and being the first person at the Killer Bass table. Jake drew **Owen**, which he was a little bit cautious about.

"How much does that guy eat in a day?" the nature guy asked, plopping down on the bench with Kestrel, Kyra, and Joe. "This could be bad."

Jayna decided to follow Jake and put her hand into the sombrero, pulling out a paper and reading it aloud. "**Izzy**?" Though she grimaced at the thought of portraying the psycho, she noticed Jake smiling at her. "Wait, weren't Izzy and Owen friends?"

"I think they were an on again, off again couple, actually." Chris replied.

Jayna smiled and walked over to the Screaming Gopher table, sitting beside Jake with a smile.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Jake: "Okay, so I guess that playing Owen couldn't be _that_ bad."

Jayna: "Psycho girl? Eh, not all that great. Playing a psycho girl beside a person that I actually get along with in this competition." Her mouth curved into a full on grin. "_That_ I like."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Joe Howlett stepped up to the top hat next, stuck his hand in, and pulled out a piece of paper. He unfolded the paper casually, though his expression wasn't all that casual once he read the name that was on it.

"What?!" Joe's jaw dropped. "No way!"

"What?" Chris asked, peeking over the top of the paper. "Read it out loud."

Joe groaned. "**Trent**."

"Ha!" Lacey smiled and pointed at him teasingly, chanting in an annoying sing-song tone, "You have to be Trent! You have to be Trent!"

"Lacey! You're up!" Chris shouted, catching her attention. Instead of walking over to the Screaming Gophers' table, Joe Howlett stayed up there to see what punishment Lacey had to deal with. The nonconformist stepped up to the sombrero and plunged her hand in, hoping that she'd draw somebody she could actually stand like Bridgette or Beth or even Gwen if it came down to it. The name she drew was not one of those.

"What?!" Lacey shrieked, her jaw dropping in the process.

"Who is it? Who is it?" Joe asked, looking over her shoulder. "Ha! If I have to suffer through being Trent, you have to suffer through being **Courtney**!"

"Are you serious?" Lacey asked the host.

"Hey, rules are rules." Chris shrugged, pointing her in the direction of the Killer Bass table. Instead, Lacey headed for the door. "Where are you going?"

"Confession Cam."

"For what?"

"I'm letting out all of the swear words I know and attempting to embrace my inner goodie two shoe."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Lacey: She seems to be screaming at the camera, though all that can be heard is beeping noises every second. They are censoring every word coming out of her mouth, her mouth blurred over, and her arms moving about at her sides dramatically, some of her hand gestures also being blurred out.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Morty was up to the top hat next, drawing **Harold** the dweeb much to his disappointment. Tom came next, picking **Geoff**'s name out of the hat. Aaron went after Tom, drawing **Justin**. He figured that'd be easy enough. He just had to look at a mirror for twelve hours straight. Riley stepped up after him, sneering at his pick.

"**DJ**?!" he questioned. "Dude, can I pick again?"

"Didn't I just say no to Lacey?" Chris asked.

"Please? Just between us dudes?"

"Nope."

"Damn."

Haley stepped up after her love interest, sticking her hand in the girls' sombrero. She pulled out a paper and gasped.

"**Ezekiel**?!"

"Congrats! You're our lucky she-male!" Chris smirked.

"Ezekiel is sexist against women! I'm a girl!" Haley protested.

"Don't worry, bra. I'm sure you'll look good with a toque."

Haley groaned and walked to the Killer Bass's table, only to realize that there was an upside to being picked to play Ezekiel: Riley was also a Killer Bass. She sat down next to her boyfriend with a smile, ignoring the prairie boy's name for the moment.

"Who's next?" Chris asked, rustling the papers in both hats for an emphasis.

"I guess I'll go." Kit-Kat shrugged, stepping up to the sombrero. With the guy's name already drawn, at least she had a chance to be female. She pulled a name from the top of the pile and opened it up, frowning at the unfortunate choice. "**Heather**."

"What?!" Sienna shouted. "_I_ wanted to be Heather!"

"Ooh. I don't know if you can pull that off." Chris said,

"I don't think so either." Kit-Kat frowned, walking over to the Screaming Gophers' table and sitting beside Aaron. "I honestly don't have a chance, actually."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kit-Kat: "I can't be mean! I can try, but it's not going to work!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Sienna stepped up to the sombrero now that her favorite character was pulled and angrily pulled a name out.

"Oh god. Does karma hate me or something?!" she shouted.

"Who'd you get?" Carrie retorted from the sidelines, stifling a yawn.

"**Katie**!" Sienna slapped her forehead. Carrie laughed. Even if she was sad from the loss of her boots, Sienna suffering was still funny. "Why don't you come up here if you think my pick's so bad? Five bucks says you pull Eva!"

"Fine." Carrie said, walking up to the sombrero. She unfolded a piece of paper and frowned. "Crap."

"What?"

"I think karma might hate me too."

"Is it Eva?"

"Worse. **Sadie**."

"Oh, no way!" Sienna shouted, her eyebrows lowering in anger. "I am _not_ being best friends with _her_!" She jutted an accusing finger at Carrie.

Carrie just raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "I actually think its best female friends for life, Sienna."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Carrie: "Honestly, somebody stole my boots and now this. Right this moment, I'm ready for anything. Life can't get worse."

Sienna: She is looking up as she shouts. "Why?! Why?! _Why_?!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Glisa followed the two girls, unfortunately drawing **Gwen**'s name from the hat, which really clashed with her super outgoing personality. Addy (or Detective Meisner, whichever name you please) stepped up to the sombrero and pulled out **Eva**, who she instantly disapproved of. Daphne stepped up after her, frowning at her choice as well.

"What'd you get chica?" Glisa asked leaning over her shoulder. "Ooh. **Bridgette**."

"Nice." Daphne groaned. "The girl who can't sit in the sun for long periods of time gets the surfer. What was the chance of that?"

"Good luck with dat." Glisa encouraged, turning to join the other Screaming Gophers at the table.

"I'll try." Daphne said, turning to face the Killer Bass table and plopping herself down between Carrie and Tom.

"You know, I'm playing Geoff." Tom mentioned. Daphne shrugged.

"I know. You're not touching me unless it's really necessary for the camera," she explained, then quickly added, "Not that I don't trust you or anything."

"You could've gotten a worse Geoff." Tom insisted.

"Worse than the pervert?"

"Have you _met_ Riley?" he jerked a thumb to a few people down the bench, where Riley and Haley had locked lips. Daphne scowled.

"Seeing DJ and Ezekiel make out will probably scar me for life."

Up to the top hat next was Irving, who pulled out the only name left. Only when he opened the slip of paper did he realize who he'd have to play.

"**Duncan**?!"

That raised a few snickers from a couple of people, though this was obviously not the worst choice yet.

"Alongside Lacey as Courtney, too." Chris pitched in. Irving just moaned and walked towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go press my ear up to the Confession Cam while Lacey's still in there cursing her ass off." The jock replied. "Maybe that can bring out the Duncan in me."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Lacey: She is still in the Confession Cam, every word of her speech being bleeped out. She finally stops talking and takes a long breath of air, giving the camera a satisfied smile. "Okay, then." She stands up and opens the door to get out only to frown. "Irving, what are you doing?"  
"I'm playing Duncan." Irving's voice replies from outside the doorway.  
"Good method." Lacey nodded in approval. "Unfortunately for you, I'm done."  
"Did you 'embrace your inner goody two shoe'?"  
"Not a chance."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Tanya and Blair, you two are the last two people who haven't drawn a name." Chris pointed out to the two girls left standing in the center of the room. "So, each of you pick a name from the hat."

Tanya and Blair both stepped up to the sombrero and reached their hands in, unfolded the paper, and shrieked.

"**Beth**?!" Tanya shouted.

"**Lindsay**?!" Blair screamed.

"Oh, this will _so_ make good TV!" Chris chuckled.

"I will not follow that… that _thing_ around!" Tanya insisted, addressing Blair as 'that thing'.

"Yeah, and I'm not wearing cowboy boots and a miniskirt!" Blair protested.

"And I'm not talking with a lisp!"

"And I'm not stuffing my bra!"

"You don't have a choice!" Chris smiled. Tanya and Blair just kept complaining as Irving and Lacey entered the Mess Hall once again, done with the Confession Cam. "Okay, so the rest of the day is a free day for you, though you might want to spend some time studying your character for a little while just to get to know them. As soon as I wake you guys up tomorrow morning, you guys are heading here for your makeovers!"

"Makeovers?!" Blair shouted.

"Well, yeah." Chris shrugged. "What do you think I meant by you'll have to look the part?" The tomboy just slammed her head down on the wooden table as Chris turned and winked at the camera. "How will they cope with their characters? Well, you'll see when we get back to Total Drama Island: Again! For you guys at home, though, here's a handy dandy list of who's who."

**The Characters for **_**What Season is this Again?**_

**The "Killer Bass"**

**Bridgette- Daphne**

**Courtney- Lacey**

**DJ- Riley**

**Duncan- Irving**

**Eva- Addy**

**Ezekiel- Haley**

**Geoff- Tom**

**Harold- Morty**

**Katie- Sienna**

**Sadie- Carrie**

**Tyler- Russell**

**The "Screaming Gophers"**

**Beth- Tanya**

**Cody- Joe Freeman**

**Gwen- Glisa**

**Heather- Kit-Kat**

**Izzy- Jayna**

**Justin- Aaron**

**Leshawna- Kyra**

**Lindsay- Blair**

**Noah- Kestrel**

**Owen- Jake**

**Trent- Joe Howlett**

**

* * *

**

Ugh. I think that this might be the longest chapter yet, and it's not even how I planned on it turning oout! It's so much easier _thinking_ the rules to a challenge than actually writing it out. Ugh...

**I like this challenge. I've been waiting for it since I started writing the story. I actually picked who was going to be who for a couple of the campers the same way Chris did: with a hat and some slips of paper. I'd drawn a couple of names, but once I pulled Lacey as _my least favorite character_ Courtney, I had decided to choose the rest on my own because it would be funny.**

**I got the DVD information off of Amazon and got the quotes from the TDI Wikia. The time intervals were my own math. I figured that each episode is 22 minutes long, and then I put all of the episodes in order and kept adding 22 minutes to each time intervals starting with 7:00 AM and then if the scene I was referring to happened mid-episode I... okay, I'm just going to stop there and spare you the babbling. **

**Oh, this is the challenge where you guys get to start voting, which I'll explain when the time comes!**

**Not much else to say. No questions this chapter because I'm pooped out from writing it (I wrote most of it tonight). I'd love some feedback in reviews!**


	16. Ep5, Pt2: That's Not My Name!

**Ahem... reviews are to me what gas is to cars. Period.**

**The word I had to add to my computer's spell check for this chapter? Sweatervest. Oh yeah… I'm cool.**

**Oh, and whenever I mention hair coloring or spray coloring and stuff like that, I'm talking about that stuff that you can buy at Hot Topics and places like that where you get the bottle of hair coloring that you can just spray on your hair and wash out whenever you're done. You know, I'm sure you've tried them on Halloween before?**

**For the record, I am not a feminine girl. I honestly couldn't tell eyeshadow from blush and didn't know that it was even possible to pluck your eyebrows until recently. I tried my best with the clothing descriptions. And for the "makeovers", a lot of them are just pretty pointless. I was trying to include everybody, so if you want you can just read over your character's and move on. A couple of them have some pretty funny comments, but some of them are kind of pointless.**

**Sorry if your character doesn't get a lot of lines in this one. I tried to get most people to have a line, but even if they don't they're mentioned. Most of the actual acting is next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah. If I owned Total Drama Island, why would I even bother having a disclaimer? **

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: That's Not My Name!**

"Listen up! I cannot believe that you got the part of Heather! And since you're obviously going to need some help in breaking out of the nice girl shell, I'm going to give you a crash course in being mean. You are now a student in Queen Bee 101."

"You know, I don't think I have it in me to be mean…"

"And that's why I'm here to help." Sienna gave her a smile that just screamed 'trust me or I'll stab you in the back'. Kit-Kat just nodded. The two Tortoise girls were at the picnic tables between the cabins (right in front of the giant picture of Sienna that nobody had attempted to remove). It was a little after five and they had plenty of time before dinner, not they'd ever eat it. Kit-Kat sat at one of the picnic tables while Sienna paced back and forth in front of her.

"Okay, so the first rule of Queen Bee-ing: if somebody does something you don't like, make their life miserable."

"But," Kit-Kat spoke up. "What does that do for you? Wouldn't it just make the situation wor-?"

"Don't question my methods."

"Sorry!"

"And that brings us to the second rule: don't ever say you're sorry."

"Sorry about saying I'm so-"

"Didn't I just say not to say you're sorry?!" Sienna asked.

"Sorry, Sienna! I won't do it again!"

Sienna just sighed and shook her head in disappointment. This would take a long time.

* * *

"So… you're playing Tyler?"

"Yep. And you're playing Leshawna?"

"Yeah. It's better than playing Heather or Gwen or something, though. Heather's mean and Gwen's just depressing. I feel bad for Kit-Kat and Glisa."

"Yeah. Kind of sucks for them." Russell and Kyra had remained in the Mess Hall and were sitting at the Killer Bass's table.

"Isn't Tyler the jock who got voted off because he was afraid of chickens?" Kyra asked, thinking back to the previous season.

Russell nodded. "Well, he actually _thought_ he was a jock. Every single time he attempted to do anything to show off for his team, he stunk."

"Oh yeah," Kyra giggled. "You can't forget his yoyo tricks!"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's how he got together with Lindsay. Didn't they make out tied up in a yoyo or something?"

Kyra was silent for a moment and Russell realized that that might not have been the right thing to say. "So… who's playing Lindsay again?"

"Blair." He replied.

"Oh." Kyra bit her lip. "I don't like Blair that much ever since she hit me in the face with sand."

"Well, she was kind of doing it in revenge since you had hit me."

"But that was an accident! Plus, why does _she_ have any right to protect you? Has she even spoken to you before?"

"Well…" Russell thought back. "Um… not _often_."

"See? So maybe she was just using you as an excuse to be able to hit me for no reason!"

"I'm sure she wouldn't do that." He insisted. "Blair's nicer than that… unless you're Tanya. Then she'd probably smash your face in-"

"See? Maybe she thinks I'm like Tanya!" Kyra frowned. "What if she tries to hit me without sand? Then what?"

"She won't."

"How do you know?"

"I won't let her." Kyra smiled ear to ear when he said that and Russell gave her a grin.

"Aw, thank y-AH!" Kyra found herself grabbed by the back of the shirt and pulled under the table.

"Where were you twelve seconds ago?"

"Right here!"

"What about forty two seconds ago?"

"Still in here!"

"What about two minutes ago?"

"I was still here. I haven't left the Mess Hall since we were eating breakfast!"

"Hmm… you're still a suspect."

"Wait… Addy?"

"Detective Meisner!"

"Ooh, you're a detective! No way, that sounds like so much fun!"

Addy smiled. "Oh yeah, it totally is!"

"Ooh! Can I help you out?" Kyra asked.

Addy's expression turned to a glare and she pushed Kyra out from under the table. "I work alone!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "I don't need a sidekick. I'm not like Batman! I'm more like… Superman. Or Wonder Woman! Or… Harry Potter! Yeah!" she waves her arms around and points her finger at the camera. "Expeliarmis!"

Kyra: "Being a detective sounds like so much fun!" she laughs. "It's a good thing Addy pulled me away too, because that took Russell off the topic of Blair." She sneers at the camera. "I don't like her."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"I can't believe I got freaking Courtney! I mean, Courtney!"

"Hey, I got Lindsay!"

"Yeah, but I actually don't mind Lindsay! I thought she was funny! Courtney's just like… ugh! She's like freaking nails on a chalkboard!" Lacey started speaking with her voice up a couple octaves. "'I'm a CIT! Did you know I'm a CIT? I can do this because I'm a CIT! Did I mention I'm a CIT?'"

"Hey, you're pretty good at that." Blair commented.

"Shut up."

"Neither of you have it as bad as I do." Carrie pointed out. "You don't have to be Sienna's BFFFL."

"Oh, good point." The three girls were sitting on the porch of the Devious Deer cabins, sulking about their character choices.

"Hey, you don't think they'll make me stuff my bra, do you?" Blair asked. "I don't exactly have Lindsay's body…"

"I don't think anybody has Lindsay's body unless they're Pamela Anderson." Lacey commented with a snort.

"I'm serious here!"

"So am I. Oh, you don't think I have to wear a sweatervest, do you?"

"You don't have it that bad. At least Courtney's clothing was at least semi-concealing." Blair insisted. "Plus, all you have to do is act like Tanya… but to the extreme."

"Oh yay." Lacey rolled her eyes. "I get to be Super Tanya for a day."

"Ugh, I don't have to wear that atrocious tube top, do I?" Carrie questioned, thinking to the skimpy striped piece of fabric that didn't do much to conceal Sadie's body.

"And the pigtails." Blair pointed out.

Carrie's face contorted into a grimace. "Ugh. I forgot the pigtails."

"Don't forget the short shorts. And the squealing at the same time as Sienna. Oh, and-"

"You're making it worse than it already is, Blair." Carrie commented, looking down at her feet in the process. Instead of her beloved leather boots, she had a pair of boring black flats on. She sighed at the sight. "Do you think Addy found a lead on my boots yet?"

"Nope."

"Not a chance."

"That's what I thought." The designer's shoulders slumped. "That just makes the situation ten times worse."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "Jeez she's depressed. I'm pretty sure she was crying in the middle of the night when we slept." The tomboy frowned. "I guess having to hang around Sienna tomorrow will just make the situation ten times worse."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Wait, so all day all I have to do is be sarcastic?"

"Well, that's pretty much Noah's only personality trait."

"I'm not really that good at being sarcastic." Kestrel and Joe Howlett were both inside the guys' side of the Deer cabin. Joe was going through his bags looking for an Ipod while Kestrel was sitting in his bunk doodling in a sketch pad.

"It's not really that hard." Joe replied, dropping several pairs of socks and shirts on the floor from inside his bag. "Just roll your eyes and use a sarcastic tone."

"But, what do you mean by a sarcastic tone?"

"Oh, you don't _know_?" he purposefully spoke using sarcasm, trying to get him to get the point.

"Um, no. No I don't know." Kestrel answered. "That's kind of why I was asking you."

"No, that was an example."

"Oh." Kestrel sketched a couple of lines on the picture of the tarantula he was drawing, but then turned to him again. "Wait, was that sarcasm?"

"No."

"Okay… but wait, was _that_ sarcasm too?"

"No. And this isn't sarcasm either."

"You're sure?"

"Positive." He finally found the end of a pair of headphones and started pulling on the cord until fishing an Ipod from the bottom of the bag.

"Wait, so what do I do?"

Joe just sighed. "Come on." Kestrel got up and brought his notebook with him as his teammate walked through the door. Lacey, Carrie, and Blair were sitting on the porch. "Good, two of the people I need." The three girls turned around when hearing him talk. "Blair and Racy Lacey."

"Is that _really_ the only word you can think of that rhymes with Lacey?" Lacey questioned.

"What did you need?" Blair asked.

"Kestrel here needs a lesson in sarcasm." Kestrel gave a wave with end of his pencil when his name was mention, though he'd gone back to drawing. "I figured you guys could help."

"Because we all know I'm _so_ helpful, right?" Blair questioned with a sneer.

"See, there's sarcasm!" the movie geek pointed out to the artist. Kestrel didn't look up from his paper. "Kestrel!"

"Huh, what?"

"She just showed you another example."

"Sorry. I wasn't listening." Kestrel shrugged. Carrie just patted the spot next to her on the wood.

"Come on and sit down. I'm sure they'd be _happy_ to help you out."

"Yeah. As happy as Chef Hatchet when his mermaid was squashed." Lacey rolled her eyes as Joe stepped between her and Blair and walked down the stairs, the headphone cord dragging behind him. She stepped on the end of the cord and he tripped. She laughed and he flipped her off.

"See, they're perfect teachers." Carrie smiled at Kestrel, who was back to shaping the eighth leg of the tarantula doodle. "I don't think there's anybody more sarcastic here than Blair and Lacey." Kestrel didn't look up. "Kestrel? Hello?" No reaction. "I'm talking to you."

"Oh, who me?" the artist's head snapped up from the paper.

"Yeah, genius." Blair said. "Now focus here because I'm going to give you a lesson in basic sarcasm that you'll just _love_ to sit through…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Carrie: "The lesson in sarcasm ended off with Lacey attempting to get Kestrel to design her a tattoo (no sarcasm there) and Blair taking the pencil from his hands and stabbing a hole through his notepad because he wouldn't pay attention. Sadly enough, I still don't think he gets it."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"I have to say, I think I might have the easiest camper to play." Aaron stated to Joe Freeman as they sat on the Tortoises' cabin's porch.

"Oh yeah, all you have to do is look in a mirror all day." Joe nodded, fully agreeing with him. "You might actually be able to win it for the team!"

"Well, you've got a pretty easy one too. I mean, Cody?" Aaron pointed out. "All you have to do is attempt to hit on Glisa all day and you're good to go."

"Yeah, I think that might be the hard part." The comic artist said. "I'm not exactly all that good with girls."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can't even get through a normal conversation without making a fool of myself. It's even worse with girls that I like."

Aaron smiled at that. "Joe, my friend, I think I can help you out with that problem."

Joe grinned. "Really? You don't think I should ask somebody like Morty?"

"Morty Shmorty, I can help you out." He pointed towards himself as if to prove his point.

"I don't know. Morty's good with girls and doesn't even mind when people reject him, knowwhatImean?"

"Have you ever seen me with girls?"

"I was in the bathroom when you tried to con Kit-Kat into making you something."

"Hey, I wasn't trying to _con_ her!" Aaron protested. "I was just… showing off my _smooth moves_." At 'smooth moves' he pushed back his hair, mock-combing it with his fingers like a bad boy might do with a comb in an old movie. "Girls always fall for the greaser routine."

"The 'greaser routine'?" Joe questioned.

"Yeah, you know? Haven't you ever seen one of those old movies like Grease or West Side Story or something where there're the guys in the leather jackets with the sleek cars and huge bikes and all that crap?"

"Well… yeah. But in both of those movies they break out into song-"

"I mean besides the fact that they break out into song. Whatever you do, _don't_ break out into a musical number! I'm pretty sure that's turn off for girls… I think it's a turn off for _everybody_ actually."

"What, you don't think chicks dig the jazz hands?" Joe joked, demonstrating said jazz hands with a laugh. Aaron's expression looked scarred for life. "Are you okay? I was just joking."

"Yeah…" Aaron replied, though his face would say otherwise. "Please don't do that ever again."

"It was that bad?"

"Dude? It was jazz hands. Jazz hands are _always_ bad."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Aaron: "Great. Now whenever I see Joe all I'm going to be able to think about is him doing jazz hands." He shudders at the thought. "Somebody could ask me thirty years from now 'Oh, do you remember that Joe Freeman guy from Total Drama Island?' and that's still the image of him I'll have burned into the back of my skull."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"So, do you think Chris will give you a hand mirror so you can be Justin or do you think you'll have to sit in the bathrooms staring at the mirror all day?" Joe Freeman asked, obviously trying to get off topic.

"Hopefully he'll give me one. If not," Aaron replied, "then I might have to ask Sienna to borrow one."

"She'll probably claw your eyes out if you touch her stuff."

"Yeah. That's a risk I'll have to take, though. Have you ever _smelled_ those bathrooms?"

"If we find you dead on the cabin floor, I'll know who to blame." Joe laughed. That was when Sienna came walking in front of the cabin, Kit-Kat in tow. "Speak of the devil…"

"Oh, they will work perfectly!" Sienna said to Kit-Kat, pulling her over towards Aaron and Joe. "Hey boys."

"Oh, hey Sienna." Joe gulped, hoping she wouldn't know that he was just talking about her. "And hey Kit-Kat."

Kit-Kat didn't reply at first, looking unsure of what to say. Sienna just elbowed her in the side. "Go on. Show him what I taught you."

Kit-Kat opened her mouth to speak. "Um… hey there… _baldy_." She thought for a moment and Sienna gave her a thumbs up. "Um… you look really… ugly today? Maybe you should try… um… not looking like… something you would find in Chef's food!" Joe and Aaron looked surprised. Sienna looked proud.

"Go on, Kit." Sienna insisted. "Show him some more."

"Okay… um…" Kit-Kat thought for a minute. "Your head looks like… a blind barber cut it!"

Joe Freeman's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"I'm sor-"

"Yes she is!" Sienna said, covering Kit-Kat's mouth with her hand before she could apologize. "She is definitely serious!" Kit-Kat shrugged and Sienna removed her hand. "Okay, now tell off Aaron."

Kit-Kat turned to face Aaron. He gave her a smile.

"What's up, Kit?" he asked. Kit-Kat opened her mouth to respond… and a giggle flew out.

"Not much. Sienna's been trying to teach me how to act like Heather." She replied, walking over and sitting on the stair beside Aaron. "What about you?"

"Kit-Kat!" Sienna shouted, stomping her foot. "Get back here! We're not done yet!"

"Buzz off Sienna." Aaron said.

"_What_?!"

"I'm pretty sure he said buzz off." Joe Freeman repeated.

"Oh, you really think you can repeat it and not get told off, oval head?"

"Um… I hope so?"

Sienna sneered. "Why am I even wasting my time with you?" She stepped up the stairs and past her three teammates, her heels tapping with every step. She walked into the girls' side of the cabin and slammed it behind her, huffing as she did.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kit-Kat: "Now I feel really bad for being mean to Joe. I explained the whole situation to him, though, so he got it. I'm glad Sienna didn't bother me with the Queen Bee 101 any more. I don't think I'd be able to make fun of Aaron."

Joe Freeman: "Dang, Sienna is _scary _when she's angry! I thought it'd be _me_ who got my eyes clawed out!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

The campers actually all got a good night's sleep that night considering there was no challenge to gruel through. At around 5:30 that morning, though, they were all startled awake by Chris screaming into the megaphone.

"GOOD MORNING CAMPERS!!!" Everybody was shocked awake by the sound interrupting their dreams. Riley slammed his head on the bottom of the bed belonging to Tom that was above him. Kyra fell to the ground from her top bunk because of the shout. "MEET ME IN THE MESS HALL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! DON'T EVEN BOTHER CHANGING CONSIDERING YOU WON'T BE WEARING YOUR CLOTHES TODAY ANYWAYS!"

Most people groaned when he mentioned it. Blair put her pillow over her head and buried herself deeper in her blankets.

After some people were literally yanked from their beds by their teammates, the twenty two campers groggily made their way down to the Mess Hall. Once opening the doors, they were shocked at the set up of the room.

The picnic tables were gone for the moment, shoved in the far corner of the room. Instead, there were eight vanity tables and chairs set up in a straight line across the room, a woman standing by all of them (except for one, which had a tan man with dyed silver hair and a wide smile beside it). Each table had makeup and hair products strewn across it, a basket of clothing sitting beside it, and a changing screen behind it. Chris McLean walked out of the kitchen with a smile on.

"Oh, you guys should _see_ the looks on your faces!" he said, letting out a slight chuckle and pointing at them. "Did you _really_ think I wouldn't go all out with this challenge?"

"Don't you usually talk about how you're on a tight budget?" Tom asked as one of the vanity women winked at him.

"Yeah… not for this I'm not." Chris smirked.

"Where did you get all these women?" Morty questioned, trying to ignore the buxom blonde woman standing by the mirror in front of him who seemed to be puckering her lips in his direction.

"Oh, they work at Playa des Losers."

"_What_?!"

**

* * *

**

At Playa des Losers…

Betsy, Jolt, and Bren are lying on three tables lined up by a pool in their bathing suits, each with a long legged woman massaging their backs. Betsy had a colorful drink in her hand as she was massaged, sighing at the comfort of the massage and taking a sip from the curly straw. A stereo was playing music beside them.

"Hey, Meagan," Jolt asked his massage girl, "could you turn up the radio a little?"

"No problem!" the girl giggled, her voice sounding like she had just as many brain cells as there were pimples on her clear face. She reached an arm over and turned up the radio a little bit, still massaging Jolt's back with one hand.

"Oh, this is the life…" the disc jockey moaned, instantly relaxing.

* * *

"Girls?" Chris turned to the women at the vanities. The man at the station at the end cleared his throat. "Oh, and dude." The man nodded in approval. "Who do you need first?" The women (and one guy) leaned over and picked up a piece of clothing from the baskets.

"Beth."

"Owen."

"Trent."

"Bridgette."

"Tyler."

"Harold."

"Courtney."

"Gwen."

Tanya, Jake, Joe Howlett, Daphne, Russell, Morty, Lacey, and Glisa (in that order, may I mention) sat down in the chairs of the people that called their names. Tanya sneered that the man standing by her vanity was giving her a creepily friendly and obviously false-whitened smile. The man picked up a pair of eyeglasses from the dresser beside him and held them up to Tanya. She just groaned.

Jake was trying to convince the woman that was working with him that the ridiculously oversized shirt she held up was made out of non-recyclable materials, so he couldn't wear it. The woman claimed that it must've been recyclable since it had a leaf on it.

Joe H. was busy attempting to get the woman in front of him to not color his hair black and explaining that Trent was secretly Darth Vader in disguise, attempting to explain to everybody that he was framed by appearing on reality television. She had actually considered the Darth Vader thing for a moment, obviously as low on brain cells as Lindsay was last season.

The woman working on Daphne was attempting to rub tanner on her, which she wouldn't allow. The woman kept on asking her "Wait, so are you albino or just really pale? Huh? Huh? Huh?" which could really get on a girl's nerves after the first five thousand times. After she wouldn't allow her to fake tan her, the woman clipped Daphne's practically pure white locks on top of her head and placed a blonde wig over them, claiming she looked "better already".

Russell was having the easiest time of the eight since he had the least changes to go through to look like Tyler. All they'd done was slap a red sweatband around his head and remove his glasses, and he already looked a little more like the so-called jock.

Meanwhile, the buxom blonde that had winked at Morty was attempting to get him to close his eyes while she sprayed his hair orange with a washable coloring. He kept saying no, just because of the fact that he liked the way he looked. When she showed him Harold's shirt, he practically flinched. The clothes this guy wore weren't even color coordinated!

Lacey was busy explaining to the dark skinned woman in front of her that she was allergic to whatever material was in the sweatervest she held in her hand. Somehow, the woman didn't seem to be convinced. Probably just because she had also claimed to be allergic to the shoes, pants, hair coloring, and fake tanner. In the end, Lacey just ripped the sweatervest out of her hands and tossed it over to her right.

The sweatervest landed on Glisa who was attempting to convince the woman in front of her that midnight blue just wasn't her color. The woman was still pushing midnight blue lipstick, eyeshadow, and hair spray at her. Her white cowboy hat had been tossed to the ground by the woman, and instead a pair of chunky black boots was shown to her. She had to hold back a scream.

The other 14 campers could only watch in horror as their teammates were prodded and poked by the women (and one man), thrown a stack of clothing, and pushed behind the changing screens in embarrassment. After a few minutes, the eight campers walked out from behind the screens, revealing their appearances for the challenge and causing the others to laugh.

Russell was out first, wearing Tyler's crimson sweat suit and having the matching sweat band stretched around his head. His glasses were off, tucked into the pocket of the sweatshirt, and he looked like he might have had the easiest treatment of the eight. Jake stepped out from his changing screen next clothed in an oversized shirt with a maple leaf in the center, fake blonde hair, and Owen's green shorts. The shorts were tied up with a belt just to keep them from falling down, the legs hanging past his knees. He fingered the end of the giant shirt.

"Was this _actually_ Owen's shirt?" he asked, pointing out its huge size. Chris snickered and nodded, and Jake sneered. "I should've guessed by its smell."

Glisa came out from behind her screen decked out in a black corset with blue and green striped sleeves, a black and teal miniskirt, black tights, and chunky boots laced up her shins. Her heavily layered hair was now half striped in midnight blue, and she kept on looking at the strands around her face with a disapproving expression. With her darker complexion, the whole outfit looked very strange, and you could tell she was uncomfortable. Joe Howlett stepped out from behind his screen after she did, looking more ticked off than uncomfortable. His hair had been colored black and he wore Trent's green shirts and black pants. He seemed to be attempting to adjust the pants without looking like an idiot on camera.

"Okay, so explain this to me." He said to the host. "What kind of a guy wears tight black jeans everyday?"

That was when Lacey stepped out from behind her screen clad in Courtney's purple sweater, white undershirt, and green capris and got herself a back shot of the tight black jeans. She smirked and laughed.

"Well, I think I suddenly understand why Gwen fell for Trent so fast." She whistled in approval and he instantly turned around, attempting to keep away from her embarrassing whistles.

"Are they _trying_ to humiliate me?" Morty asked, stepping out from behind his screen with a disgusted look on his face. He wore Harold's pink and blue shirt combo with the strange picture in the center and long green pants. His dark hair had been colored auburn to his dismay, and he wore a pair of green tinted glasses, which seemed to be a size or two too big for his head considering they had already slipped down to the tip of his nose. Morty pulled out the shirt and looked at the picture on it. "Okay, what the hell is _this_ supposed to be? A hamburger in space?"

"I always thought it was a planet…" Daphne commented as she awkwardly stepped out from behind her screen. She was wearing a blonde wig that was tied back in a ponytail (she was given the wig because the woman working with her insisted that the coloring might not wash out easily on her light hair), Bridgette's blue sweatshirt, denim shorts, and a pair of sandals. Her pale complexion did nothing for the surfer girl look. "But now that you mention it, it does kind of look like a ham-"

"CHRITH MCLEAN, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" Tanya screaming at the top of her lungs interrupted Daphne. The drama queen had knocked over the screen and was marching up to the TV host wearing a green shirt, a forest green vest with several pins on it, and a pair of pink pants. She had three crudely drawn moles scribbled on with eyeliner between her chin and neck and a pair of glasses on her nose, her red hair tied up in a messy and slightly crooked ponytail. When she got to Chris, she poked him in the chest with her finger.

"You, Mithter McLean, are a very unlucky man. When I am done with thith show, I will perthonally make thure that you are thpoken to by some kind of sthocial sthervithes!" Every "s" sound she made became a "th", a ton of spit flying out of Tanya's mouth and splattering across Chris whenever the letter combination was spoken. "Social services" was like a waterfall. That was when most people came to a realization that Tanya had somehow acquired braces and a lisp.

"Where'd you get the braces, Tanya?" Jayna asked.

"Apparently it ith a removable retainer." She replied. "And it ith utterly dithguthting. There is stho much sthpit in my mouth right now, ith's not even funny!"

"Tell me about it." Chris groaned, wiping Tanya's saliva from his face and shaking his hand out to the side. "I can see you're all going to enjoy yourselves. Ladies, who's next in the chairs?"

Addy, Aaron, Jayna, Tom, Joe Freeman, Irving, Riley, and Kit-Kat were next up in the chairs. They were just as… ahem… _tolerant_ as the other eight had been: Riley let out a stream of colorful curse words when the woman working with him handed him the white beanie that DJ wore, Aaron was trying to give the woman working on him his best Justin smile (which didn't seem to be very effective), and Addy attempting to confiscate the stick-on unibrow as evidence for the missing boots case. They were pushed behind the screens, protesting as much as the others.

Even the campers that were already dressed up laughed when their teammates stepped out from the changing screens. The first out was Aaron, who was wearing a dark green shirt, a pair of faded jeans, and a necklace around his neck. His hair had been tousled to look like Justin's. Nobody was seeing a similarity even if he was wearing his outfit.

"So, do I look sexy?" Aaron asked, flexing his "muscles" and flashing a grin. Nobody reacted for a moment… until they burst out laughing, that is.

"Oh, yeah right, dude!" Riley walked out from behind his screen laughing his guts out. He was dressed in a green shirt with a D in the center, a pair of denim shorts, and the white hat that DJ usually wore. "That is just pathetic."

"Look who's talking." Aaron commented. "What the heck's that on your head?"

"I don't know." Riley shrugged. "A sock or something?"

"Hey, at least you weren't forced to wear a wig." Joe Freeman stepped out from behind the screen dressed in Cody's typical attire: the tan sweatervest, blue jeans, and dark shoes. He had a light brown head of hair on his head that was no doubt a wig styled to look like Cody's hair. The spot between his front teeth had even been darkened to give the appearance of a gap-toothed grin. "I don't think I will ever consider a sweatervest in my wardrobe choices ever again."

"Can't blame you there." Aaron agreed. Most of the other campers nodded in agreement. Sweatervests were officially out of the question.

"Um, Chris? Could I possibly get a pair of longer shorts?" Kit-Kat walked out from behind her screen pulling down the ends of the tan short shorts that she was forced to wear. Her light hair had been taken down from its bun and colored dark. She had her arms crossed awkwardly over her chest, attempting to cover up the pink-brown navel baring halter top she wore.

"Those are the shorts Heather wore," Chris explained. "If everybody else has to suffer, then so do you."

"But I feel like my butt's hanging out!" Kit-Kat protested, looking over her shoulder to check if said posterior was showing.

The vain TV host just shrugged. "Nudity is good for ratings."

"Nothing's showing, Kit-Kat." Tom commented, walking out from behind his screen dressed in Geoff's typical unbuttoned pink shirt, shorts, and cowboy hat. Kit-Kat looked over her shoulder and glared at him, embarrassed at the fact that he was actually looking. Tom just shrugged and gave a smile. "I'm in the presence of short shorts. What can I say?"

"Excuse me sir, but would you comment like that in the presence of a certain pair of special leather boots?" Addy walked out from behind her changing screen and marched up to Tom, obviously in one of her Detective Meisner moods. Everybody cracked up when seeing her. Her hair had been sprayed darker with the coloring and pulled back in a tight ponytail, a mole was drawn beside her mouth, and she was clad in a royal blue tracksuit. The hilarious part about the ensemble, however, was the scruffy unibrow that had been stuck over her usual eyebrows, stretching across her lower forehead in a disgustingly hairy line.

"Well, Mr. MacHugh? What would you say in the presence of the boots?" she questioned, looking Tom eye to eye.

"Um… I don't know? It depends who's wearing them." He shrugged, a little freaked out by her approach.

"Hmm…" Addy tapped her mole in thought. "Fine. You're good to go."

"O_kay_ then…" Tom muttered, walking over to stand with the group.

As Addy walked away, Jayna walked out into the open wearing the all green outfit: the green keyhole top, the green sarong-style skirt, and the green flats. Her hair was curled and colored bright orange.

"I feel like I'm literally going green." She quipped. "I don't think I've seen this much green on a bush."

"You want to see something greener?" another voice questioned. That was when Irving stepped out from behind his screen dressed in Duncan's layered shirts with the skull in the center and jeans shorts. His face and ears had what appeared to be piercings on them, and his hair was colored in the black and green combination. "My hair."

"Oh, that _is_ really green." Jayna said, her upper lip curling into a disgusted expression. "Makes me feel a lot better about my outfit-"

"They _pierced_ your face?!" Sienna shouted when seeing Irving.

"Nope." Irving replied, peeling one of the earrings off of his ear and holding it up for everybody to see. "They're stick on." He put the "earring" back into place, the little plastic stud sticking to his earlobe.

"Oh," Sienna sighed. "That's a relief."

"Not for long!" Chris interjected. "You're up at the tables next!"

With a groan, Sienna, Carrie, Kestrel, Haley, Kyra, and Blair sat down in front of the vanities.

"Aw, you don't have to be the guy, do you?" the woman working on Haley asked, looking to the pile of clothing leftover in her basket. Haley nodded in response, obviously not pleased about it. "That's a shame. You look nothing like a guy."

"Um… excuse me." Sienna spoke as the single male hairstylist picked up a clump of her hair. "Has anybody told you that you are, like, _so _attractive?"

"Yes. Yes they have."

"Well, has anybody with a face like _this_ ever told you?" the queen bee batted her eyelashes and gave him a smile. "And would you ever want to see a girl with hair as gorgeous as this be forced to wear those _hideous _pigtails?"

"Girl, there is-"

"Now, before you start to protest, just imagine this. This _gorgeous_ face dressed like one of the squealing best friends. I mean, striped tube top? Short pink shorts. I know a sensible, equally good-looking man like you would understand that, wouldn't you?" She batted her eyelashes so fast that they were a blur. The man just kept on gathering more of her hair into the pigtail.

"Honey, all the sweet talk in the _world_ won't make me put this pigtails in your hair." He said, slipping a hair tie around the hair. "Plus, I'm not exactly _into _people like you. Catch my drift, sweetie?"

Sienna just pouted, catching a woman pulling Carrie's hair into the same pigtails a chair over from her. Her lips just got even poutier.

Kyra was giggling at everything that the woman did to her, and Kestrel seemed to have struck up a conversation with the woman who was coloring his hair. Blair kept on constantly kicking items away from her, and practically punched the woman out when she grabbed a tube of lipstick. Sadly enough, they seemed to be the most tolerant group so far.

When they finally stepped behind the screens, it was 6:50. The challenge officially started in fifteen minutes.

Kestrel stepped out from behind his screen first dressed in a familiar red sweater vest, navy blue and white undershirts, and shorts. His hair was colored darker and his rimless glasses weren't on his face.

"Does Noah realize how many shirts he wears?" Kestrel asked, looking to his sleeves and counting the layers. "I mean, what's the point of wearing a vest over a short sleeved shirt over a long sleeved shirt? Isn't that just kind of useless?"

"At least you don't have facial hair." Haley stepped out from behind her screen looking pathetic. She wore a green-ish sweatshirt and a pair of jeans that looked too short for her legs. Her hair was tucked under a blue toque, most of the shorter strands hanging out, and she had several hairs stuck to her chin to appear to look like peach fuzz.

"Haley…" Riley attempted to smile at her. "Looking… good?"

"Don't even try." Haley commented, putting her hands in the pockets of the sweatshirt. "Just, don't bother."

A giggle informed everybody of when Kyra stepped out from her screen. She was dressed in a tan shirt with four orange-ish fruit in the center, blue jean capris, and a large pair of hoop earrings. Her hair was pulled back in her usual ponytail, though it had been colored darker than usual, and she had a beauty mark drawn on her cheek.

"Hey guys?" Kyra questioned. "What kind of fruits are on this shirt?"

"Let me see." Jake said. Kyra stepped up to him and pulled the shirt out in front of her. "Um… kumquats?"

"What's a kumquat? Isn't that a bird?"

"No it's a-"

"Excuse me; do you guys have a belt?" Carrie asked, stepping out from behind her screen. She was dressed in a white and black striped tube top, a pair of bright pink sandals, and a pair of shorts and her hair was pulled up into pigtails. The only extreme problem: the shorts were several sizes too large. She was holding them up when she walked out, obviously in need of some support. "Anybody? Belt?"

Chris fumbled around in his shorts pocket until pulling out a piece of rope and throwing it at Carrie. "Here you go."

"Why-"

"I'm a host. I kind of _have_ to carry around pointless things that could be used in challenges."

"O_kay_ then…"

"I am _soooo_ not wearing this!" Sienna stepped out from the screen in an outfit matching Carrie's, though her shorts were the right size. When spotting Carrie, her expression only got angrier. "I am _especially_ not wearing this if I have to be wearing the same thing as _her_!"

"Hey, it's not like I'm really happy about this either." Carrie commented, tying the rope tight around her hips. "I'd prefer to go a lifetime without looking identical to y-"

A long stream of shouted curse words signaled everybody that Blair had finished changing. She didn't step out from behind the screen, however, though people could see her silhouette.

"Um… Blair?" Haley, the first with any courage to speak up, said to her. "You're kind of going to have to come out of there."

"I'm not coming out like _this_!" the tomboy shouted back.

"It can't be _that_ bad." Russell commented.

"Oh yeah. It's _that bad_."

"Chica, have you seen _me_?" Glisa questioned. "I look like some kinda _azul_ freak."

"She has a point there." Morty commented. Glisa just glared at him, but ended up giggling when seeing him dressed as Harold.

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you guys!" Blair kicked down the screen and stepped out in front of the crowd, shocking everybody with her appearance.

The tomboy had a long, blonde wig placed on her head with a blue bandana tied around it. She wore a short skirt, cowboy boots, and a brown and red top, the shirt no doubt stuffed. She was furious. "Can I sue him for this?"

"Join the club." Tanya said, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, so everybody's done, right?" Chris looked around at the campers. "Wow, what a blast from the past…"

"Just get on with it!"

"Fine." He looked up at the clock that hung over the kitchen door. 6:58 AM. Five minutes. "Okay, so if you're caught on camera out of character, a camera man or intern will mark you with an X using one of…" he dug through his short pockets, coming out empty handed. He then stuck his hand in his shirt pocket and pulled out a red Sharpie marker just as the minute hand on the clock ticked. "These! Three X's and you're out. Got it?" Nobody responded. "I'll take that as a yes." He looked up at that clock. Thirty seconds. "Okay… you don't have to be in character in the Confession Cam, once you're out you come back here…" Fifteen seconds. "Okay… um… fifteen seconds…" A couple of people started shifting over to stand next to people that they needed to stand to. "Five… four… three… two… one… go!" Several people instantly started to talk to people, Tanya and Jayna being two of the talkative ones (though people tried to avoid talking to Tanya because of the spit factor). Addy stood looking shifty in the center of the room, her unibrow cocked up on one side, obviously thinking about the case of the missing boots.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Jayna: "Things that I don't like about this challenge? Let's see…"

Jake: "…the giant shirt, the constant eating, the _smell_ of this shirt…"

Haley: "… playing a _guy_, this hat, playing a guy, peach fuzz, did I mention playing a guy?"

Kit-Kat: "… these shorts, being mean, this top…"

Joe Freeman: "… talking to girls, this itchy wig, the sweatervest…"

Daphne: "… playing a surfer girl who's being forced to go in the sun with nothing to cover myself up with…"

Carrie: "… do I even need to _start_ listing the things that have gone wrong for me in the past twenty four hours?"

Kyra: "… what's a kumquat?"

Kestrel: "… the sarcasm…"

Riley: "… have you _seen_ this gay hat?!"

Joe Howlett: "… I'd have to say all the crappy Trent-ness sums it all up…"

Glisa: "… de dark colors, de itchy corset t'ing, de boots, de hair streaks..."

Sienna: "… one word: Carrie…"

Russell: "… the tracksuit, the yoyo tricks…"

Morty: "… seriously! Is Harold _blind_?! What does he wear?!"

Lacey: "… the sweater, the high pitched voice, the CIT-ness…"

Irving: "… the green hair, the piercings…"

Tom: "… the personality I don't mind, but the pink shirt and cowboy hat aren't exactly great…"

Aaron: "… well, I guess there's not that much I can complain about… except the fact that the girls don't seem to be falling for my Justin routine…"

Addy: "… I will find out who took those boots…"

Blair: She's sitting in the Confession Cam with her knees pulled up to her chest, looking around suspiciously. She looks at the camera and puts a finger to her lips, signaling for it to be quiet. "Shh…" she whispered. "Chris said that as long as we're in the outhouse we don't have to be in character. I'm going to try to stay in here as long as poss-"  
"BLAIR!" Tanya's voice shouts, her pounding on the side of the outhouse audible past her screaming. "Get out of there stho I can partithipate in the group Confesthion Cam!" Blair kept quiet, trying to make sure she can't hear her. "Blair, I know you're in there! I thaw you go in there and I'm not going to go away until I can have my thay!"  
"Um… Blair is not here at the moment, please leave a message after the beep! Beeeeee-" The door to the Confession Cam opened up letting the sunlight shine in and Tanya's arms came through the entrance, grabbed Blair's sleeve, and attempted to pull.  
"You can't sthay in there all day! As much as I hate you, I need you to win thith challenge! Beth doethn't talk to anybody elthse. You need to get out of- hey!" on the screen, an arm grabs Tanya by the shirt and pulls her out. "Hey! What're you doing?"  
"You were out of character and we caught you on camera!"  
"I wath parthially in the Confesthion Cam! I wasthn't on camera!"

Tanya: She's sitting in the Confession Cam with a glare on her face, her chin propped on her hand. She moves her arm and shows the camera the green vest that she's wearing. There is a big red X drawn over her ribs. "Thith ith all Blair'ths fault."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, so here's the thing: I don't want to be anywhere near you. I don't want to speak to you, be friends with you, share a good laugh with you, and I _definitely_ don't want to squeal in an annoying fashion with you."

"Yeah, yeah Sienna. I get it. Same here." Carrie and Sienna had gotten out of the Mess Hall in an attempt to stay away from the cameras. Whenever they saw one of the many camera men, they steered away from them in the other direction. Chris was right. There were tons of camera men.

"And don't think about complaining to me about your stupid boots, either. I don't care about how depressed you are, and how much you-"

"Wait!" Carrie stopped dead. "How do _you_ know about my boots? I never told you!"

Sienna stopped just as suddenly as Carrie did. "Well… um… you were wearing different shoes yesterday and you looked depressed. I kind of just connected two and two together and- oh my gosh, Sadie! Do you see that tree?"

"What are you-" Sienna linked arms with Carrie, hiding her sneer, and quickly yanked her to face another direction. A camera man was watching them from inside a bush. "I mean, oh it's such a nice tree! I wonder if there're any squirrels in it!"

"Ooh, I _love_ squirrels!" Sienna fake-giggled. "They have their fluffy tails!"

"And their big cheeks!"

"And their nuts!" There was an awkward moment where neither of them spoke, obviously realizing what Sienna just said. "Um… I mean its acorns! I don't look at squirrels like that!"

"Oh, I love acorns!" Carrie exchanged a look with Sienna and then opened her mouth in an awkward smile. "Um… EEEEEEEEEE!" After a moment of squealing, Sienna joined in. They just stood there awkwardly making sounds high pitched enough that dogs probably couldn't hear them until the camera man covered his ears and walked away.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Carrie: She is coughing, her throat sounding raspy. "Ugh! My vocal cords!" she coughed again. "I don't think I will ever be able to speak correctly again!"

Sienna: "I seriously don't look at squirrels like that. If any of us like looking at squirrels like that, it's Carrie."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"So… you don't happen to know how to surf, do you?"

"Not exactly."

"And you can't think of any way for me to inconspicuously carry my umbrella or grab my sunhat, can you?"

"Not right now. I'll think about it, though." Tom and Daphne found themselves sitting under the shade of a tree to block her from the bright, recently arisen sun. Even with the thick blonde wig and the concealing clothing, her face and legs would still be exposed, so the shade was her only option.

"You know, Geoff hung out with DJ and Duncan too." Daphne pointed out, pulling her sandaled foot out of the sun. "You can go find Riley or Irving and talk to them."

"Do you really think I want to spend a whole twelve hours talking to _Riley_?" Tom asked. "Or Irving when he has to be a jerk for the cameras?"

"Good point. Never thought of it that way." She replied. "There's no way that idiot can pull off DJ."

"He doesn't even have a chance. He's way too mean for his own good."

"Finally somebody sees where I'm coming from." Daphne smiled, thinking back to how many times Riley had been a total jerk to her. That was when he ran by in DJ's outfit with a cameraman on his tail. The prankster tried to outrun him, but the cameraman grabbed him back the back of the shirt and stopped him, marking a big red X on Riley's white hat. Daphne just cracked up at the fact that he'd _already_ managed to get caught out of character.

* * *

"So… this is like a total personality change for you, right?"

"What do you think?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to strike up a conversation."

"You don't have to attempt to strike up a conversation. Duncan did more than annoy Courtney. Go steal a coffee mug or something lame like that." Lacey and Irving were standing by the Mess Hall attempting to avoid the cameras.

"There're cameras in the Mess Hall." Irving pointed out.

"Go carve a skull into a wall."

"Go complain to somebody."

"Go threaten to pierce somebody's lip."

"I haven't heard you say 'I'm a CIT' yet."

Lacey raised an eyebrow. "Touché."

"Did Duncan ever play football on the show?"

"Football as in American football or soccer?"

"Soccer."

"No."

"Wouldn't you have said 'no' either way?"

"Yep. Oh, camera alert." Lacey pointed to her left and Irving looked over in the direction of her finger. Sure enough, a woman holding a large camera was filming them.

"Um… so princess, did I ever tell you about my juvie days?"

"Why would I ever _want_ to know about your criminal days, ogre?" Lacey asked, taking on a really high pitched voice. "I'm going to be president one day! I have experience with things like this! I ran for class president, though I lost because I was too annoying. Oh, and I'm a CIT!"

"We know. You say it about five thousand times a day."

"Yeah, and you're going to end up going to prison!"

"Yeah I know… sweetheart?"

Lacey's jaw went down. "What did you call me?"

"Sweetheart?"

"Who said you could call me that?!"

"Princess?"

"No! No, no, no! I hate you! You're going to prison! You're a pig! You're an ogre! I hate you! In a future episode, I'll make out with you after I barf! I hate you! I hate you!"

"Um… Lac- Courtney?"

"Did I mention I hate you?!" Lacey then brought up her foot, kicked Irving where it hurts, and walked away. The camerawoman gave her a thumbs up when she walked past her, signaling her that she was very in character. Irving just dropped to the ground in pain.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Irving: "Why the hell did she just do that? Doesn't she think that's a little… _extreme_?"

Lacey: "I enjoyed that. If I'm going to have to be Courtney, then I'm going to overreact as much as I can and make anybody miserable who comes in my way. Plus, I'm pretty sure that Irving has something to do with Carrie's boots…"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

Ugh. This chapter is too long and is practically a filler. Next chapter'll have the good stuff!

**The conversation between Aaron and Joe Freeman actually happened between two of my guy friends. It should teach you a valuable lesson: jazz hands are bad.**

**I liked the little cutaway scene where it showed Playa des Losers. If you're wondering where Corin was, she's off working on her next big invention. That's my excuse, at least. I just can't see her getting a massage.**

**So, what was it that scarred you for life this chapter? Sienna flirting with a homosexual man... Joe Freeman's jazz hands... some of the campers' makeovers... Sienna and Carrie "EEEEEE"-ing... Kit-Kat attempting to be mean... Aaron trying to be Justin? Well, I promise you there will be a lot more scarring for life: next chapter!**


	17. Ep5, Pt3: Floods, Mirrors, and Catfights

**Reviews are awesome. Thanks for all of them.**

**[Feel free to skip this part] Ugh. So school's started up again and my teachers suck. My Spanish teacher had paired us up with random people and made us draw each other (don't ask what this has to do with Spanish because I have no clue). I really didn't want to see how the kid who drew me had drawn me, and when I finally saw it the only thing I could say was "Since when do I look like Kurt Cobain?" And the kid who drew it's like "Who?!" I just gave them this bug eyed "WTF" stare.**

**[Feel free to skip this if you know it doesn't apply to you] You know what I really dislike? As some people on DeviantART call them, fave bombers. Their definition of a fave bomber is a little different than mine, but here's mine: somebody who adds every single one of your stories for a certain category to their favorites list and story alerts list (even one shots on the story alert), and adds you to their favorite author and author alert lists, but doesn't leave a single review. I have had this happen to me twice in the past couple weeks, and I don't get it. What do people have against writing reviews? Whenever I favorite anything, I mention how much I like the story first. This doesn't apply to people who're still reading the story but just don't review… this applies to the people who favorite EVERYTHING and don't review. Thank you for your time.**

**I have a new poll on my profile. Go on and vote if you want to!**

**For some of Tanya's speaking with the lisp, I put a translation of what she said right after the difficult to figure out word in parentheses.**

**Disclaimer: The prefix "dis" means not. The base word claimer means a person who makes a claim. Disclaimer is a combination of the two: not claiming ownership.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Flooded Bathrooms, Mirrors, Catfights, Oh My!**

"You don't see any cameras around, do you?"

"If I did, don't you think that I would warn you?"

"Well-"

"Sthe wouldn't tell you Kit-Kat. Blair'ths evil like that."

"Shut up, Tanya." After Tanya had pulled Blair out of the Confession Cam Blair, Kit-Kat, and Tanya had started making their way to the picnic tables between the cabins. Fortunately for them, they hadn't seen any cameras along the way and hadn't been forced to get into character. When the three girls walked in between the cabins, Blair and Tanya stopped.

"Oh. My. God." Tanya gaped.

"What?" Kit-Kat asked.

"What the _hell_ is that?!" Blair jutted a finger out to the side of the Devious Deer's cabin, where a picture of a giant smiling Sienna was painted. Tanya and Blair were gaping at the scarily realistic face staring down at them. Blair looked scared. Tanya looked furious.

"How long hath thith been up here?!" she shouted.

"Um…" Kit-Kat thought for a minute. "Joe painted it as his audition for the talent show."

Tanya's eye twitched. "This thing'sth been up here for daysth and we didn't notiths?!" Kit-Kat just shrugged. "Are we sthtupid or thomething?!"

"Um…" Kit-Kat got ready to shrug again but stopped when she saw a camera man peeking through the window of the Tremendous Tortoises' cabin. "Yes! Yes you are! Now, we are… um… having an alliance meeting!" Tanya and Blair just looked at her confused and she subtly gestured towards the camera in the window.

"Oh…" Blair's voice went up a couple octaves and she gave her best fake giggle. She cocked her head to the side a little and put on her best confused face. "What's an alliance?"

"How many times must I explain this to you?" Kit-Kat asked, smacking her palm to her forehead.

"Lindsay," Tanya turned to Blair. "The allianths (alliance) ith what we're doing to get to the final three."

"Oooooh… I knew that!" Blair insisted, glancing over at the camera as she did that. "Oh, why isn't Tyler in our alliance?"

"Because Tyler's on the other team!" Kit-Kat pointed out.

"So?"

"Lindsay, the allianths ith for uths three only." Tanya said. "Or a leathst Thcreaming Gophersth only."

"Oh. Wait, so Tyler's not a Screaming Gopher?" Kit-Kat and Tanya had to keep from laughing at Blair's almost perfect impression. The camera man seemed to catch that, though, and they instantly got back into character.

"No, stupid! They're not!" Kit-Kat shouted. "Here, why don't we go this way?" She took Blair and Tanya by the arms and yanked them along, walking away from the camera man. She sighed once they were out of view. "I am so sorry! I didn't mean to call you guys all that stuff! I'm no good at being mean…"

"Hey, no problem." Blair said. "You're just being in character."

"Actrethes (actresses) do that." Tanya pitched in, walking away from Kit-Kat and Blair.

"Where're you going?" Kit-Kat asked.

"To thpeak with sthome of the Deviouths Deer about a sthertain portrait."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tanya: "Okay, stho painting a giant portrait of a girl I hate on the thide of _my_… I mean_ our_ cabin? Not cool. At all. Joe Freeman, you are going down." She puts a hand in her fist as if to emphasize her point.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Do you see Chef Hatchet anywhere?"

"Nope."

"Let's go."

Jake and Jayna had both stayed in the Mess Hall when Chris had started the challenge. There were no cameras in there so that they didn't capture interns moving the vanities out of the room and pulling the picnic tables back, so really they had made a smart move. Even Chris had exited the room to lounge in his trailer, so they were completely safe from being spotted by anybody who really cared if they were out of character. The last intern had just left the room because they were done putting the picnic tables back, and the two environmentally aware campers figured this was their chance to make their move.

They were going to go into Chef Hatchet's kitchen.

Why were they making such a stupid move? Well, they figured that while they were playing the certified maniac and overeater they could do something that really fit their personalities: go take some real food from Chef's kitchen for their teams. Why? Well, Izzy's the only person on the island besides Duncan who's crazy enough to get anywhere near Chef's kitchen, and Owen would do anything for food.

The pair took one final look around and then looked towards each other. They both gave a nod and then walked into the kitchen.

"So, what are we looking for?" Jayna asked.

"Anything that looks remotely edible." Jake replied, stepping farther into the kitchen. Jayna followed his action and took a look around. She instantly let out a shrill shriek. "What?!"

Jayna jutted an arm out and pointed at the counter beside the sink, her jaw quivering up and down a bit. Sitting beside the sink were half a dozen cracked eggshells, a puddle of goopy yellow yolk dripping onto the floor, an empty jug of milk, several aluminum cans, and a cutting board. On the cutting board, however, was what looked like a giant trout lying dead with its mouth wide open, a knife sticking out from its side. And if that wasn't disgusting enough, there seemed to be something wrong with the trout: for one thing, it was a hideous shade of vomit green, but it also had five eyes.

Jake's jaw dropped. "Chef Hatchet is such a disgusting man!" Then, he started to walk over to the counter.

Jayna smiled when realizing that he was going to somehow dispose of the… well, let's just call it a fish. Her smile faded, however, when Jake's hands didn't touch the fish. Instead, he picked up the cans and empty milk jug.

"Ugh! The least he could do is recycle them!" He then walked over to the backdoor out of the kitchen and opened it up, putting the cans and milk jug into the blue, cobweb covered recycling bin that sat beside it. When he got back inside, Jayna was looking at him with a look of disbelief. "What?"

"The cutting board!" she shouted. Jake turned to look at the cutting board and screamed at the sight.

"Oh my god, was that in our food?!" he shouted.

"I don't know…" Jayna replied, her sneer of disgust prominent. "I sure hope not! Do you know how much toxic waste must've been needed to taint that poor animal?"

"There could be tons and tons of unfortunate creatures out there that have been mutated like this innocent fish!"

"We have to do something!"

"I'll bet there are more in here…" Jake pointed out. Jayna just gave him a nervous look.

"Do you want to open the fridge, or should I?" she asked.

"Um… rock paper scissors?" he suggested.

"You're on." They put their fists out in front of each other.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoo!" They both put out paper. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoo!" Rock, rock. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoo!" Scissors, scissors. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoo!" Rock, rock again. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoo!"

"Ha!" Jayna shouted. She'd put out rock again, but Jake had put out scissors.

"Darn it!" Jake exclaimed, walking towards the fridge. He put a hand on the door handle and yanked it open. "Holy crap!"

* * *

"Ugh… so, I'm supposed to be lusting over _you_?"

"Um… you're playing the guy with the nunchucks, right?"

Morty sighed heavily. "Yes."

"Then yep." Kyra replied. "Oh, I mean fo' rizzle yo shizzle dawg!" Morty just gave her a confused look. "Word to your homies, my brotha." Kyra made a ridiculous face and crossed one arm over the other, doing a very bad imitation of a rapper. Morty just burst out laughing, causing Kyra to laugh too.

"Has anybody told you that you are hilarious?" Morty asked, clutching his sides in laughter.

"Uh huh." Kyra nodded. "I mean, fo shizzle, yo!"

Morty cracked up again. That was, however, until a hand reached out from behind a nearby tree and yanked him behind it.

"What the-"

"Where were you on Labor Day, nineteen ninety four?"

"Um… I don't know?"

"Hmm…" The shade of the tree partially distorted his view of his captor, casting strange shadows on their face. The only things he could clearly identify were a thick unibrow and a mole.

"Wait… Eva?!"

"Detective Meisner, actually," his captor said, taking a step forward into the light. Soon, Addy's feminine features came into view. "But, my identity should not be on your listje of concerns right now!"

"Why not?"

"Because right now I am confronting you about the case of the missing boots."

"Missing boots?" Morty raised a confused eyebrow. "I don't know anything about a pair of boots."

"That's what they all say, Mr. Oawn-"

"HI ADDY!!!" Addy's eyes widened when hearing somebody scream her name, and her head whipped in that direction. Kyra was waving wildly at her with a smile on her face. "Ooh, are you playing detective again?!"

"No, I am not_ playing_!" Addy shouted back. "This is very complicated work, Kyra! We could have a _criminal_ on our hands!"

"Oh, I'm sure Morty didn't do it. He's not even close to a criminal." Kyra waved a passive hand, but then corrected herself. "Oh! I mean, Mort-Dawg ain't a crim-nizzle, ya hear?"

Addy just gave her a really confused look. "Oh, I didn't know you spoke another language!"

"Yo, I speak-izzle the language of ma homies, yo! My peeps from da hood."

That just got Addy to start off in a giggling fit, releasing Morty and saying something about him being free to go in the process. Kyra just gave her a smile, though she was obviously not sure what she was laughing about.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "Okay, so check Morty off of the list of possible boot takers. Who's next?" She brings a pocket-sized notebook closer to her face and looks over the list of names that are written there. She then gasps. "Of course! I never would have suspected!"

Morty: "Does Kyra realize that when she's not on camera she doesn't have to act like Leshawna?"

Kyra: "Yo dawg-izzles! This be your homie Leshawna here giving all ma peeps and girlfriends a shout-out… um… doggie dawg!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Haley was wandering the camp, trying to figure out who to talk to considering Ezekiel had absolutely no friends on the show. The fact that Ezekiel was voted off first made him very difficult to play. He had no friends, no real personality, no enemies… and worst of all he was a guy! And an ugly guy just to intensify the horribleness!

So, she was forced to be a loner for the time being… until Riley came running straight at her, that is.

"HALEY!!!" he shouted, sprinting in a beeline for her. When he reached her, he leaned on her and caught his breath.

"Do I even want to know?" she asked as he panted.

"Camera men…" he managed to get out through his strained breaths. "After me!"

"Why?" Haley asked. Riley just lifted a hand and pointed at the hat that was on his head. There were two big red X's side by side on his hat. "Already?!"

"Have you seen how…" he took a break to pant, "big of a _pussy_ DJ is?"

"That wouldn't exactly be my choice of word," Haley pointed out. "But yeah, kind of. I figured that's really his personality trait."

Riley lifted an arm and slung it around her shoulders. "Nice to know you agree-" He was interrupted by a hand grabbing his arm and pulling him in its direction. It was a camera man. "Oh, come on! Give me a break!"

"You are _so_ bad at this," the camera man said, putting down the camera and reaching into his pocket. Riley's jaw dropped when he realized what he was pulling from his pocket…

A red Sharpie.

"NO! What was I doing wrong?!"

"Dude, you were practically making kissy faces at her." The camera man gestured towards Haley. "Speaking of which, I need to give you an X too."

"What?!" Haley's jaw dropped.

"Hey, you were out of character on camera."

"How was I out of character?"

"Must I go back to the kissy face thing?"

"So?!"

"Ezekiel and DJ didn't roll that way."

"Hey," Riley put up his pointer finger, "did you _see_ the way DJ acted? He had a pet rabbit that he baby talked and called Bunny."

"And how long was Ezekiel on the show?" Haley asked. "For all we know he _does_ roll like that."

"Home school probably does that to a guy."

"Deejzekiel could be their fanon couple name."

"'cause they're both obviously into dicks."

"Sorry, I still have to give you guys X's-" Before the cameraman could finish his sentence, Riley had bolted across the camp at top speed. After a minute, though, he ran back.

"Come on, babe!" he grabbed Haley by the arm and yanked her until she ran at the same pace as him. The cameraman could only sigh, pocket his Sharpie, pick up his camera, and jog after them.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Cameraman: The cameraman puts his chin in his hand and sighs. "Why did I sign up for this stupid job? I just looked it up, and I'm pretty sure I could get more money working at McDonald's than this…" He shakes his head and adjusts the baseball cap that is resting on his hair. "Jeez, I'm dumb."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, I think I figured it out now…"

Russell concentrated as hard as he could on the task in front of him. It would take a careful flick of the wrist, a correctly angled finger, a good understanding of rotation, and a slightly idiotic looking concentrated face, but somehow he would manage to do it this time. He rolled his hand inward, licked his lip, and then flicked it outward, letting the item fall from his hand towards the ground. He was sure this launch had the right spin and speed, it _had_ to. The object spun just above the ground in a counter clockwise direction and he smiled.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "I'm walking the dog!"

All that concentration was over a yoyo trick.

"Whoa, I didn't think you could do it!" Kestrel admired from the rock he sat on with what looked like a dictionary. Hidden inside the dictionary, however, was a sketchbook. The perfect disguise. "This gives me an idea for a piece!"

As Kestrel pulled a pencil from behind his ear and rapidly started to doodle in the sketchbook, Russell flicked his wrist and sent the yoyo (a bright orange Duncan Butterfly that he had gotten from the woman who had given him his costume) rolling straight back into his hand. He smiled when it actually landed in his palm, not twisted around his fingers in a bow like the first several times he had attempted to do that.

Though Noah and Tyler had never hung out in the show, the two Deer guys had figured that they'd be best off if they stuck together for this challenge. Even though their characters were on separate teams, the cameramen walking by didn't seem to notice. It was obvious that to them all of the guys that got voted off early all looked the same, despite their obvious differences.

"Should this invisible dog have a harness?" Kestrel muttered as he scribbled in his sketchpad. "Actually, no! I'll give it a leash and a collar with tags dangling from it! Yeah, that'll look sweet!" He erased the line that he had just drawn and then drew another one in its place, sticking his tongue out in concentration as he did so.

"He makes the weirdest face when he's drawing, don't you think?"

"I wasn't really look- Blair?!" Russell jumped when hearing the female voice come up next to him. Sure enough, Blair had sat down on the rock behind him and he had no idea. She fidgeted with her top as he regained his cool. "Um… I mean, Blair! Hey! What're you doing here?"

"Tanya ditched me, and I figured that Tyler was the only other person that Lindsay ever spoke to." Blair explained with a shrug.

"She ditched you already?"

"Yeah. Something about wanting to kill Charlie Brown."

"Charlie Brown?"

"The dude on the other team with the six hairs on his strangely shaped head?"

"Oh." Russell didn't really see the resemblance between the morning comic character and the member of the Tremendous Tortoise team. Maybe it had to do with the fact that whenever he flipped to the comics in the paper he always got preoccupied with the daily three or four panels of Spiderman to even consider Peanuts. "Why does she want to kill him?"

"Well, he kind of drew a picture on the side of our cabin of a girl she hates, so she's going commando on his ass in return…" As Blair explained, Russell couldn't help but shift his gaze to her chest. And _no_, he hadn't just come down with a sudden case of teenage perversion… it was the fact that one side of her chest was moving that was drawing his attention. Though she didn't know it, the wads of newspaper and tissue that had been stuffed into the left side of her shirt were slowly falling, slipping downward and downward with every sentence. "So, then she says something and I don't know _what the heck_ she had just said because she has that stupid lisp…" Blair pointed at her teeth when describing the list, the wad of paper sliding down lower in the shirt.

"Um… Blair?"

"I'm babbling aren't I?"

"No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"Um…" Russell thought for a moment. "Uh… how can I word this?" He awkwardly wrung his fingers until finally shakily pointing at Blair's chest. She gave him a glare with one raised eyebrow, but then looked down to where he was pointing. Her face instantly flushed and she quickly got up, running for the Confession Cam.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "Great…" she has a hand stuck down the shirt and is adjusting the tissues. "Now I'll have to live the rest of my life being called mono-boob."

Russell: "Well, that was awkward…" His cheeks have an obvious tinge of pink to them.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Um… what's your favorite color?"

"Uh… midnight blue. What's yours?"

"I want to say green. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?"

"Chocolate."

Glisa and Joe Howlett were engaged in a completely awkward in-character conversation because they were fully aware of the camera on them. The cameraman wasn't exactly being stealthy, either. He was just standing there out in the open not even three feet away from them, not taking his eyes off of them.

"Um… favorite movie?" Joe asked.

"Oh, I remember this…" Glisa muttered under her breath, thinking back to what Gwen's answer was. "Oh, I got it! But, you're going to t'ink it's cheesy."

"No I won't." Joe mentally rolled his eyes, thinking about how big of a cheese fest Trent was in the first place.

"Dere is this one scene where de characters are on a road trip, and dere is a kiss…"

"Oh." Joe nodded, knowing exactly what movie she was talking about. That cameraman hadn't gone away yet. It was a little creepy. To make it even worse, they were running out of questions that they knew the answers to.

"Um… favorite animal?" Glisa asked.

"Uh… anything that's not a bear? Favorite song?" Glisa's eyes went wide at that one, a sign that she didn't know the right answer to the question.

"Um… I…" she stuttered for a moment, trying to think of an artist off the top of her head who was goth and spoke English. "I…"

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Glisa was saved by an arm winding itself around her shoulders. She sighed in relief. She had never been so happy to see Joe Freeman. The comic artist had popped up between the two like Cody had done in the theme song and slung an arm around Glisa. She had to say, he did make a decent Cody. That wig that he was wearing did kind of look like a dead animal, though.

"Nothing much, Jo- I mean, Cody!" Joe Howlett replied.

"That's the Codester to you." He replied, trying to look lamely suave.

"Ugh…" Glisa let out her best goth groan. "Get off of me!"

"Um…" Joe F had turned to face Glisa and completely froze up. Curse his inability to talk to girls. "I… um… you… we… you…" The rest of his stuttered sentence just faded off into a mutter.

"What?" Glisa asked.

"I think he said something about you smelling nice." The unembarrassed, Trent-portraying Joe translated.

"Oh!" Glisa smiled at Joe F. "_iGracias!_" She quickly put her hands over her mouth when realizing she'd just spoken Spanish. The cameraman made a noise that sounded like a buzzer.

"Wrong answer." He said, pulling a marker from his pocket. "So, all three of you get one."

"What did _I_ do?" Joe Howlett asked, thinking that he didn't make any obvious mistakes.

"You explained what he attempted to say."

"So?"

"Trent doesn't speak nerd." Joe H groaned as a red X was drawn on his shirt. After marking Glisa and Joe F, the cameraman picked up his camera and walked away.

"Well, dat actually went better den I thought." Glisa commented. Joe Freeman didn't seem to be able to speak to her still, just opening his mouth and closing it again when realizing that audible speech wasn't being formed. Glisa laughed at the sight of him. "You look like a goldfish."

"So, why did you smell her anyway?" Joe H asked.

"Dat is a good question." Glisa nodded. "Do I smell good?"

"Um… I was just… uh…" Joe F stuttered nervously. "I was just… um… seeing if the… uh… tree." The two other campers just gave him confused looks and he slapped his forehead in embarrassment.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Freeman: He sighs. "That wasn't even a complete sentence. I so wish I could talk to girls."

Glisa: "'I was just seeing if the… tree?'" she repeats. "Is dat some kind of English slang or something?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Kit-Kat was walking alone through the campsite. She had just been abandoned by both Blair and Tanya, and really just needed something to do. They were probably an hour and a half into the competition. This would be a long day. Just out of curiosity she started to walk towards the Mess Hall to see who had been eliminated so far.

_SPLAT!_

"Oh, that had better not be what I think it is…" Kit-Kat muttered to herself, her eyes widening. She took a risk and picked up her foot and examined the bottom of her platform sandal. Sure enough, she'd stepped in some form of animal feces and it was spread all across the bottom of her shoe. "Ew! _Yuck yuck yuck yuck ew!"_ Instead of the Mess Hall she ran straight for the bathrooms and pushed open the door, taking off the shoe and throwing it into the sink, turning on the hot water.

"Kit-Kat?" In her franticness, Kit-Kat hadn't even noticed that there was somebody else at the sinks. She turned her head to find Aaron sitting in a chair staring at the mirror hanging off of the wall over the sinks. "Aaron? _What _are you doing?"

"Justin's self-obsessed and I figured that this would be the easiest way to look at myself without a hand mirror." The biker-esque guy explained.

"In the _bathroom_?"

"Yep."

"What about the flies?!"

"I'm used to them. You know the phrase 'the wind through your hair, the bugs in your teeth'?" A fly did a loop-de-loop around his head as he said that, and Kit-Kat couldn't help but flick it away. "I thought you were non-violent."

"They're flies." Kit-Kat picked up the bottle of pump soap, unscrewed the cap, and poured half of the bottle into the sink, bubbles rising into the air. "I don't think they count."

"Good point." Aaron smacked his hands together and squished a bug flying in front of him. "Hey, you want to help me do something?"

"Um… what is it?"

"It's something very Heather to do, so you'll probably feel bad about doing it but will probably get you far in the challenge."

Kit-Kat thought about it for a minute. "Okay." The two walked out of the bathroom (Kit-Kat barefoot), not realizing that the sink was still on and overflowing with bubbles.

* * *

"Have I ever mentioned that I hate you?"

"Why do you feel the need to constantly rip on me every second that you can?"

"Because I can."

Carrie let out a heavy sigh and stared down at the ground to avoid Sienna's smug smile. The sight of the hot pink flip flops really just made her sigh heavier. Her boots were still missing.

"Hey Sienna," she said to her enemy/Best Female Friend for Life. Sienna just looked over with a confused look on her face. Was Carrie using a genuine tone of voice?

"Um… yeah?"

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about my boots, would you?" Carrie asked. "I won't be as angry as I would be if you just gave me an honest answer now. I just really need them back. They meant a lot."

"Um…" Sienna couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did she seriously just say that? "Well, to be honest with you, _I_ didn't touch your boots."

"You're not lying?"

"I pinky swear that _I've_ never laid a finger on your shoes." Sienna picked up her foot and raised it into the air. "Why would I want them anyway? My feet are much daintier than yours."

Carrie rested her chin in her hand and let out another light sigh. "Darn it, there goes my biggest suspect…"

"Did somebody just say suspect?" an arm wrapped tightly around Carrie's neck and cut off her breathing. The designer turned her head only to see Addy.

"A-Addy…" she strangled for breath. "W-what are you… doing?!"

"First ruleje of being a detective," Addy put up one finger. "Suspect the unsuspected. You Miss Madison are coming downtown." The hyper girl stood up and pulled Carrie with her, walking towards the woods. Sienna could only watch in confusion.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "I didn't exactly _lie_ to Carrie. In fact, I didn't lie at all." She tucked a loose strand of hair into her pigtail as she spoke. "I just didn't answer the question. But I gave her my honest answer. I never touched the boots. I may have just given Irving the _idea to_ touch the boots. Big difference."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Holy crap!"

Jake and Jayna both stared wide-eyed at the contents of the refrigerator. It was jam packed with all different… well, let's just call them foods. There was no doubt that all of them were either exposed to toxins, well past their expiration date, or just plain old discolored. A strange thick pinkish residue was leaking through the top shelf and onto the next one. A purple-ish fish was crammed into the compartment on the door, flopping around eagerly wheezing because it was in the air.

"H-h-help… me…" the fish panted until falling limp and falling through the holes in the rack.

The nature lover and environmentalist looked green at the sight of this. They just stood in place, not daring to blink or breathe with their mouths wide open.

"This _has_ to be illegal…" Jayna managed to get out as the fish fell to the floor with a sickening splat. The creature let out one final weak flop up and down before falling limp, obviously lifeless.

"Yeah." Jake nodded his head up and down slowly, though because of the fact that he was completely disgusted it was a stiff motion almost like a door on rusty hinges.

"W-what…" Jayna swallowed heavily. "What do we do?"

"I dunno." Jake muttered, not taking his eyes off of the fresh fish corpse on the ground. "W-would you be willing to t-touch those?"

"It depends what we're doing with them." Jayna pointed out, giving him a disgusted scowl at the thought of it.

"What if it's just moving them all to a trash can?" Jake asked. Jayna thought about it for a moment, looking all of the tortured faces in the fridge. They looked so sad. She couldn't stand the thought of them being in her food!

"Okay."

* * *

"Got any twos?"

"Go fish. Fives?"

"Go fish. Kings?"

"Darn it." Tom pulled a card from the deck he had in his hand and flicked it at Daphne, the king landing just in front of her. Daphne only had around half of the number of cards he had, and she took another out of her deck and placed it with the one he'd just given her.

"Okay…" Daphne said, setting the pair on the table next to her. "How about sevens?"

"Is there a mirror behind me or something?" Tom asked, looking over his shoulder half-jokingly as he pulled a card from his deck and slid it over to her. "How many matches do you already _have_?"

Daphne put the pair of cards down next to the several other pairs she had and counted them up. "Twelve."

"What?! I only have three!"

"I guess I've found a hidden talent-"

"MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!" Tom and Daphne both turned from their spots sitting on the porch of the Tortoise cabin (completely in the shade because of the roof) to see Riley running towards them, Haley being pulled behind him.

"What's wrong with _you_?" Tom asked as the pair got closer.

"No time to talk until I take cover!" Riley said, hopping the stairs and landing right on top of their card pile, sending the cards flying all over.

"He's sorry about that." Haley insisted with a smile. "He's just too egotistical to say it." Riley opened up the door to the guys' side of the Tortoise cabin and yanked Haley inside, closing it behind him. Daphne and Tom could still see them considering the door was a screen door.

"Wait, so what are you running from?" Daphne asked, more towards Haley than Riley.

"Cameramen." Haley replied. "Riley has two X's."

"What about you?"

"Well, a cameraman owes me an X."

"So, why don't you just let him get his final X so he's off your hands?" Daphne asked, glaring at Riley. "He's not exactly that great of a person, and the more time you spend near him the meaner he gets."

"Hey!" Riley shouted.

"He's exactly the opposite with me." Haley said. "Why? What'd he ever do to you?"

Daphne let out a very unladylike snort. "What _didn't_ he-"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Riley interrupted. "Um… do you guys like bunnies?" That just got him three pairs of deer-in-headlights looks.

"_What_?" Tom asked.

"I said do you guys like bunnies? Mama always told me bunnies were a sign that you have a heart." As Riley spoke, he pointed a finger. Standing there was a cameraman filming them. At the sight of him, Haley moved a little farther away from Riley and Tom slung an arm around Daphne.

"Oh, I only like… the guy bunnies, eh. Because the girl bunnies aren't as strong and awesome as the guy bunnies, eh." Haley said, trying to get in character for the first time today.

"Oh _really_?" Daphne asked. "What makes you think that girls aren't as good as guys?"

"Well… um… the guy bunnies are obviously much tougher, eh?" Haley said, fully aware of how stupid that sounded.

"Okay…" Daphne said, turning away so she didn't laugh and muttering something like "oh my god…" under her breath. Tom snickered when she said that.

"Dudes, bunnies are like a party." Tom said, obviously just wanting to prove to the camera that he was still paying attention.

"No, bunnies are like… angels… okay, I quit!" Riley opened the door and marched out onto the porch, towards the cameraman. "Just gimme the X, I can't take this anymore!"

"Riley!" Haley called after him, following him down the stairs. "Don't leave me here alone!"

"Hello? We're still here!" Tom said.

"Forget it Haley, I can't do this for any longer." Riley replied. "If I do this for any longer I'm suddenly going to develop gaydar and have a poster of a shirtless Orlando Bloom in my room."

"You can borrow mine if you want!" Daphne shouted. "You'll be a girl in no time. You won't even have to change your name!" Riley flipped her the bird and her jaw dropped.

"Hey, she was just joking." Tom defended. "You don't need to get _sensitive _about it."

"Ah! It's already happening! I'm not sensitive!" Riley shouted, clawing the white hat thing off of his head. "I can't be DJ for any longer! Take me away!"

The cameraman shrugged. "Whatever, dude. I guess I'll escort you to the Mess Hall then."

"Thank you!" Riley and the cameraman started walking towards the Mess Hall when Haley jogged up behind them.

"Wait! Don't leave me here!" she shouted. "I'm sure I owe you at least three X's! Take me with you!"

The camera just shrugged. "Okay."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tom: He just shakes his head in disappointment. "Riley is pathetic…"

Riley: "I don't look more feminine to you, do I?" he frantically asked the camera. "I checked and I'm not losing any bodily hair, but… oh god, are my eyelashes longer?!"

Daphne: She has a wide, slightly sinister smile on her face and she lets out a short laugh. "I bet Glisa fifteen dollars that Riley would be out first. She thought it'd be Sienna and Carrie."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Sweetheart, I don't think you could beat me if you tried."

"Oh, you wanna bet ogre?"

"I'd bet anything on me." Irving raised a fake-pierced eyebrow at Lacey, well aware of the camera man filming them.

"Well, I don't lose! I'm a CIT! I'm good at everything!" Lacey was using that inhumanly high pitched tone again, hoping it'd scare off the camera man. Unfortunately, this camera man was the same non-budging one that had just confronted the two Joes and Glisa. He wasn't going to move for anything.

"Okay, ready… set… go!" The two both picked up a smooth rock from under their feet and threw it. Lacey's skipped against the surface of the water twice. Irving's skipped against the surface six times.

That's right. Their fake argument was about who could skip a rock farther across the lake.

"Ha! I win Princess!"

"No!" Lacey squeaked. "I can't lose! I was a CIT! I will be president someday! You will all bow down to me someday or risk being whipped! I call a rematch!"

Though Irving was a little scarred by the whipped thing, he quickly got back into character and said, "Fine. I'll just beat you again." They both picked up another rock from the sand beneath their feet. "Ready… set..."

"GO!" Lacey shouted. Irving let go of his rock and sent it skipping across the water. Lacey's didn't even come close. It actually didn't even go in the right direction. Instead, it went flying over her head and full speed… right at the camera man. The rock went flying at his camera lense, and he ducked and dodged it just in time.

"Okay, that's an X!" the cameraman said, putting down his camera and taking a marker from his pocket.

"It slipped!" Lacey insisted. "Rocks are tricky like that you know." Behind her, Irving was mouthing something along the lines of 'Give her an X; I don't want to hang out with her all day.'

"Sorry, no exceptions." The cameraman grabbed her by the sweater and pulled her closer to him, marking a thick red X over the chest of her sweater.

"What about him?" Lacey asked, jerking a thumb over her shoulder at Irving.

The cameraman shrugged. "He was playing Duncan perfectly fine." Lacey just rolled her eyes as the man picked up his camera and walked away.

"Well, that was completely worth it." She said once he was a safe distance away.

"'Completely worth it'?" Irving questioned.

"Yeah. How else would we get him to go away?"

"You actually have a point there," Irving agreed with a nod.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Lacey: "See, it's all a part of my master plan." She taps her temple a couple of times. "Who says I don't think before acting?"

Irving: "Did I actually just _agree_ with her?!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Hey! Guys!" Irving and Lacey turned when hearing somebody call out. "Over here, in the bush!" A pair of hands burst out from a nearby shrub and the unlikely pair walked over to see who was calling at them. Kit-Kat and Aaron stood up and emerged from the bush.

"What're you doing here?" Irving asked.

"We need your help." Kit-Kat said.

"Me too?" Lacey asked. "Because I'm perfectly fine going to find somebody else to talk to-"

"Yes, you too." Kit-Kat said.

"We need to get a mirror from Sienna's bag without her knowing." Aaron explained. "And we thought you guys were the perfect people for the job."

"_Me?!_" Irving asked way too suspiciously. "Why me? I've never stolen anything from anybody at this camp! Ever! Why would you think I did it?"

"Actually, we only need you because your character's the criminal." Aaron reassured. "We mostly need her to tell us how to do it."

"Everybody needs me in the end." Lacey insisted, though she still had a skeptical eye on Irving. Why was he so sensitive about the stealing issue?

"So you'll help?" Kit-Kat asked.

"Well, what if Sienna gets really depressed because the mirror meant something to her?" Irving asked. "I think that stealing anoth- I mean _an_ item would be a bad idea!"

Lacey just gave him another skeptical look before saying. "The wimpy criminal's in. And so am I."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Irving: "If this goes wrong, this will be the second stolen thing on my head." He sighs. "How much stolen goods can I bloke be responsible for?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"You don't see any cameras around, right?"

"No shizzle, dawg."

Morty gave Kyra a look. "Did you _really_ just say 'no shizzle'?"

"Fo shizzle, yo." Kyra replied. After a minute she started giggling at herself. "Man, I sound so stupid!"

"Definitely." Morty nodded. He didn't want to mention it earlier because of her sensitive personality. A bawling Kyra on his hands would not be good. The two walked across the campground, passing by the woods. They occasionally passed by other campers and spoke to them, though they were constantly attempting to avoid the cameras so they never stayed for long.

"Hey, who's over there?" Kyra asked as they got closer to a cluster of rocks. On several of the large rocks sat people. The pair got nearer until faces could just be made out. Kyra smiled. "It's Russell!"

"And Kestrel and Blair…" Morty added.

"Oh," Kyra's expression fell. "Of course. And Blair."

"What's your problem with-?"

"Hey guys!!!" Kyra shouted, running over to the three Deer sitting on the rocks. Russell was messing with a yoyo, Kestrel was drawing, and Blair just looked completely awkward. Something must have gone wrong. Kyra couldn't stand seeing anybody looking down in the dumps despite if she didn't like them or not, so she couldn't help but ask, "Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine." Blair replied blandly.

"You're sure?"

"No, but I'll live."

Kyra frowned, but then looked to the other two guys for an explanation. Kestrel didn't seem to be paying attention, so Russell had to clarify.

"She embarrassed herself on TV."

"So?" Kyra asked. "We all do. Corin attacked us all with snakes, Carrie touched Irving's butt, Riley keeps on being mean to Daphne, your sister flashed-"

"Don't mention that please!" Russell interrupted.

"Sorry." Kyra reasoned that helping out Blair would be major bonus points in the eyes of everybody, so she turned to the mortified tomboy. "We all forgive and forget, so turn that frown upside down!" She put a finger at the corner of either side of her mouth and pulled upward, giving her a contagious smile.

"Do you _really_ believe that?" Blair questioned with a sarcastic tone.

"Well, we all fall just to get back up again." Kyra explained. Blair didn't look convinced. She had to say something that she knew would make her laugh or at least smile a little bit. "I mean, fo shizzle yo, my home slices taught me them expressions, ya hear?"

Russell, Blair, and even Kestrel gave her blank looks while Morty held back a laugh in order not to make the situation worse. Kyra just looked back with a confused head tilt.

"What, am I forgetting something?" she asked, and then quickly added "Word to ya sistah dawg." She semi-crossed her arms over her chest and gave her best gangster facial expression. That got the three Deer (and Morty of course) to start cracking up.

"What was _that_?" Blair asked through her laughing.

"She's been doing this all day!" Morty replied.

"That was hilarious!" Russell commented.

"Was that supposed to be Leshawna?" Kestrel questioned. Kyra nodded in return. Their laughter was stopped, however, by a cameraman walking out from the woods with a marker.

"How long had you been standing there?" Morty asked.

"A while. And that means X's for all of you." He said, uncapping the marker. He approached Kestrel and gave him two, "That's for drawing and laughing," Russell and Morty each got one, "That's for laughing at Leshawna's speech, which nobody does," Blair got one, "That's for being moody," and finally he came to Kyra and gave her two, "And this is for saying 'Turn that frown upside down' and mentioning other peoples' real names."

The cameraman recapped the marker and then walked away, leaving the five campers silent.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kyra: "What a party pooper."

Kestrel: "Well, that sucked."

Blair: "Kyra really makes you feel better. She's so upbeat that it's almost contagious. It's kind of weird.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"What were your motives for this crime?"

"Addy, do you realize how bonkers you sound?"

"Answer the question! And what does bonkers mean?!"

"Um… it means… nice?" Carrie found herself being forced to sit in a chair in the boathouse (she was tied up with jump ropes) while Addy interrogated her.

"Okay… now answer my question!"

"Addy, I didn't do it. I was the one that the boots were stolen from."

"That's exactly why you're the most unlikely suspect!" Addy replied, pacing back and forth. "Nobody would expect you to take your own bootsje!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Carrie argued.

"Exactly! Your motives were obviously to get attention from everybody!" Addy stopped pacing and stared right at the designer. "But you could fool this detective, could you?"

Carrie was silent for a minute until saying, "What about yourself?"

Addy's eyes suddenly grew to the size of dinner plates and she backed away from Carrie, her jaw dropped. "Oh… oh my gosh. I never though of… oh my gosh! I didn't do it! No, I have to ask myself! Sit down, me! No!"

"Could you untie me please?" Carrie asked. Addy quietly did so and Carrie stepped out the door, unexpectedly running into Tanya.

"Ith Addy in there?" Tanya asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I need to talk to her."

"Be my guest," Carrie said, stepping aside. "I'm warning you, though; she's going a bit bonkers."

"I think I can handle it."

"I DIDN'T DO IT!!!" Tanya turned wide eyed to the sound of Addy's voice shouting from the shack.

"Sthe's… the only one in there, right?" Carrie nodded. "Oh god…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Carrie: "I tried to warn her…"

Tanya: "Why do I have a feeling that thith won't be a very good move?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Um… Addy?"

"Detective Meisner..."

"Detective then, I require sthome of your… sthervithes (services)." Tanya proposed.

"What is it you need me to do, ma'am?"

"Well, I need you to make thure that nobody can thee Joe Freeman for the next hour… oh, and help me find Kesthtrel while I look around here for thome thpray painsth."

* * *

"Oh, come on! I didn't _mean_ to laugh at another cheesy pickup line!"

"And I didn't mean to giggle! I swear!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to your other eliminated teammates." Riley and Haley gave Joe Howlett and Glisa a wave as they were dropped at the picnic tables inside the Mess Hall. The cameraman exited the room, leaving Joe and Glisa to sulk.

"So…" Haley started. "What're you in for?"

"Laughing after saying 'If you were a booger, I'd pick you first'." Joe answered.

"Laughing at him saying dat." Glisa replied. "What about you?"

"Choosing not to act like a wimp." Riley explained.

"Not wanting to be Ezekiel anymore." Haley added. As they spoke, they couldn't help but notice Chef Hatchet and two cameramen walk into the Mess Hall towards the kitchen.

* * *

"How many more are there?"

"One more after this."

"Good!"

Jake picked up a discolored fish and passed it to Jayna, who leaned out the door and threw it in the trash can.

"We've done a good deed today." Jayna remarked as Jake attempted to pick the last fish out of the fridge. This one was slippery, though, and it fell to the ground.

"Ugh. I'm taking a shower right after this." He commented, bending over and picking the fish up. The creature slipped and hit him in the face, falling to the ground once again. He sighed and bent over again, this time getting a good hold on the creature. "Got it!"

That was, of course, when the kitchen door swung open and in walked the people that could be probably be the worst people to see in this challenge: Chef Hatchet and two cameramen.

"What are you maggots doing in _my kitchen_?!" Chef screamed, some of his spit landing on the camera beside him.

"Um… Izzy is breaking these fish out of jail!" Jayna exclaimed. "Izzy says that Esquire told her to do it! Our watery brethren will live again!"

Chef rolled his eyes at her and then eyed Jake. "What're _you_ doing with that fish?"

Jake eyed the cameras with a nervous look on his face. "I was just… um…" That was when the realization of exactly who he was portraying came to him and he realized there was only one answer to this situation. "Just getting a snack."

"Prove it to me."

Jake's stomach dropped as he looked down at the fish. It was coated in a layer of thick yellow slime, its scales being flaky and red. Its fins were torn and appeared to be bitten into, and its mouth hung wide open. Its eyes were rolled back into its skull, the area around them being blackish in color. It made him want to hurl just looking at it. There was only one way to get out of this situation, though.

Jake lifted the fish to his mouth and took a bite of it.

The two cameramen and Chef Hatchet stared wide-eyed and Jayna immediately opened the garbage and vomited. Jake just chewed into the raw, polluted fish with a completely disgusted look on his face, his eyes watering just a bit from the disgusting taste.

"Can you go away _now_?" Jake asked with his mouth full.

Chef Hatchet just raised his unibrow. "Swallow it."

Jake practically choked on the fish that was in his mouth.

"Oh my god, I can't take this anymore!" Jayna said, leaning over to hurl once again.

"Um… swallow it?"

"Have a problem with that… Owen?" Chef questioned.

"Um… no." Jake replied, "No I don't." He took a few deep breaths and then attempted to swallow. Instead he found himself unable to because of the disgusting taste. He tried again, but he just couldn't get it down. Unfortunately, the taste spread every time he tried… so he had to spit the fish to the ground. "Oh my god, where's the nearest sink?!"

Jake ran to the kitchen sink and stuck his head under the faucet, turning on the cold water. He gargled the water like mouthwash and then spit it in the sink, and then repeated the same task over and over and _over_, but the horrid taste still wouldn't get out of his mouth.

Unexpectedly, Chef Hatchet walked over to Jake and placed a hand on his shoulder. "That was a brave move, soldier." After a moment, he then added, "But you're still out of the game."

Jayna took her head out of the trash. "WHAT?!"

"You too." The cameraman added. "You were both extremely out of character on camera."

"You said three times!"

"We tweaked the rules a little."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Jayna: "Jake did all that for nothing?!" she glares at the camera. "What the hell, Chris? What. The. _Hell_?!"

Jake: "What is _wrong_ with you people?! I would like to see _you_ take a bite of that fish and live to tell the tale! I could've died right there, and you _eliminate me_?! I hate this show!!!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Joe Freeman was just walking along minding his own business when somebody interrupted his process. A bag was pulled over his head and entire body, sending the itchy wig clear off of his head. He was picked up and thrown over somebody's shoulder, and then they started walking. Soon, he was pushed into a cramped space while still tied up in the bag. He heard a door slam… and suddenly he was all alone.

"Wait, so let me get this straight: we're just going to walk in there?"

"Did you expect Mission Impossible?"

"Kind of. We're stealing from Sienna you know."

"I'm not James Bond. All you have to do is walk in there, find her bunk, go through her bag, and get out of there as fast as you can. Aaron and I will be keeping watch."

"Why us?"

"Courtney would never break a rule and Justin doesn't do anything. Heather's pure evil and Duncan is a certified criminal."

"Dang it." Kit-Kat wasn't really into the idea of going into somebody's personal items. Irving wasn't into the idea of stealing _another_ item from _another_ attractive girl. Aaron and Lacey didn't seem to be against it, though. The four walked into the direction of the Tortoise cabin, Lacey thinking her plan was foolproof. That was until they saw Tom and Daphne on the porch of the cabin.

"Move it, move it!" Lacey said, shooing them away.

"No." Tom said.

"We need this space." Aaron explained.

"For what?"

"Um…" he got shifty eyed. "Stuff."

"What _kind_ of stuff?" Daphne questioned.

"Um… stuffy stuff."

"Are you _stealing_ someth-?"

"I didn't steal the boots!" Irving blurted out. All eyes turned to him.

"Who said anything about boots?" Tom asked.

"Um… nobody." Irving replied. "I was just… making sure."

"Guilty conscience much?" Lacey commented.

"So, _are_ you stealing something?" Daphne asked.

"Well… kind of." Kit-Kat said.

"From who?"

"Sienna." Tom and Daphne both just laughed at that. "What?"

"It's not counted as stealing if you're stealing from somebody with no heart." Tom pointed out.

"What are you going to steal?" Daphne asked. "Her short shorts?"

"A mirror." Aaron answered. "For my Justin routine."

"Hey, could you grab something else while you're in there?" Tom asked them.

"I'm not going in there!" Aaron said, "Ask them."

"Sure." Kit-Kat answered for him.

"Daphne, didn't you steal that giant beach umbrella that they'd set up for you at the beach party?" Tom asked.

"Um… you weren't really supposed to notice that I'd taken it with me."

"You can't miss a giant beach umbrella when you're riding in the seat in back of the person holding it."

"Right. Why?"

"I think we can put it to good use."

"So, all you need is one mirror and one umbrella," Lacey said to Irving and Kit-Kat, holding up two finger in front of them. "You think you can get those without making a scene?"

"I guess…" Kit-Kat replied.

"I don't know." Irving answered. "It's not like I've had any experience with stealing things or anything."

Lacey just rose her eyebrow at him. "I think you'll be fine." She opened the door to the girls' side of the Tortoises' cabin and waved a hand. "Go right ahead."

* * *

Kestrel sat on his rock, still doodling in a sketch pad. The dictionary disguise had already been abandoned, mostly because he was so into the picture he was drawing. He was interrupted, however, by a tap on his shoulder. He turned away from his picture to find Addy standing behind him.

"Tanya needs you."

"Me?" Kestrel questioned.

"Yep."

"What for?"

At that, Addy leaned in towards his ear and whispered, "It's top secret."

Kestrel smiled at that. "Okay!"

* * *

"Oh goody. You're back." Sienna rolled her eyes when Carrie walked over to where she sat at the top of a small hill.

"Nice to know you're so excited." Carrie answered. "I think Addy might be legally insane."

"Just like you?"

"Well, I mean she was talking to herself."

"Oh you mean _seriously_ insane."

"What did you think I meant when I said 'legally', Einstein?"

"It's not like _you're _a freakin' genius!" Sienna shouted.

"I probably have twice the IQ that you do." Carrie retorted.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Hairspray kills brain cells."

"Hey, my curls are completely natural unlike yours Miss Red, White, and Blue."

"What can I say? I like color."

"You're not even American and you dye your hair the country's colors."

"Just a coincidence."

"What are you anyway? Some kind of wannabe Chanel?"

"What are _you_ supposed to be? Some kind of a wannabe _Heather_?!"

"You're just jealous that I have power."

"Over who?" Carrie asked. "Any brainless blonde and wannabe to ever walk the face of the earth?!"

Sienna's jaw dropped, "Oh, I am so going to slap you!"

"That'd just make my day, Sienna!"

That was when Sienna lunged at Carrie with her fingernails aimed for her face, and pushed her backwards down the hill. The two were clawing and ripping at each other, ripping each others' hair from the pigtails and pulling off shoes and flinging them in the distance. The hill had gained their rolling ball of terror so much speed that they rolled right past several cameramen, past Aaron and Lacey guarding the Tortoise cabin, knocked Addy and Kestrel over on their walk towards Tanya, passed by Tom and Daphne holding a giant umbrella (with Tom exclaiming "Did I _finally_ just see a catfight?!), and finally ended up at the door of the Mess Hall. The pair then got to their feet, still clawing and kicking at each other, and walked into the Mess Hall.

People gasped and shook their heads in disappointment when seeing the two brawling girls. Riley just jumped up and down excited, resulting in a slap from Haley. The only thing that ended up breaking up the two was Chef Hatchet walking over and prying them away from each other.

"Stop! I'm not done with her yet!" Sienna shouted.

"Go sit down you two." Chef said, walking over and dropping them at the picnic tables. "You're out." They joined the other eliminated players (Riley, Haley, Glisa, Jayna, Jake, and Joe Howlett) in waiting for the other campers to get eliminated.

* * *

"Okay, so let me get this straight: the bear gives the bunny hot chocolate?"

"No, no! The bunny gives the _bear_ hot chocolate."

"Oh…" Russell, Blair, Kyra, and Morty were making their way to the Mess Hall to check out who had already been eliminated. Kyra was busy explaining the details of her Bunny in the Snowstorm story to them, Blair was still sulking, Russell was playing with the yoyo, and Morty kept on questioning Kyra on her story just to say something. They were passing the bathrooms when Blair spoke up.

"I have to use the bathroom." She said. "Anybody else coming?"

"I'll come!" Kyra exclaimed.

"Great," Blair rolled her eyes. She'd been hoping anybody _other_ than Kyra would want to go.

The unlikely pair wandered over towards the bathroom and opened the door… only for a bathroom's worth of soapy water to come pouring out onto them, soaking them to the bone and spraying them feet away from the little shack of a bathroom. Morty and Russell could only look on confused.

"What was _that?!_" Blair asked, taking the blonde wig off of her head and squeezing it out.

"I have no idea." Kyra said, shaking herself out like a dog. "But the water is bubbly and lavender scented!"

Russell walked over to the bathroom door and looked inside. A sink was running. He stepped inside (careful not to slip of course) and turned it off. He then poked his head out of the bathroom and shouted down to the girls, "Somebody just left the sink on! It's safe now!"

Before the girls could get up, however, a camerawoman came out from behind the bathroom and approached Blair. She eyed the X marking her chest and then pulled out a marker and added another one to it for removing her wig. Blair just sighed.

"That totally figures."

* * *

"Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"You are awesome for this idea."

Daphne was lounging back on the sand by the lake under the shade of the giant umbrella that she'd taken from the beach. Though the sand wasn't as nice as the beach a couple driving minutes down the island, this was probably as close as it got. And she was really enjoying it.

"This is way better than sitting on the porch playing Go Fish, right?" Tom asked.

"Oh yeah." Daphne nodded, putting her arms behind her head. "This is totally better."

"And undisturbed too."

"Do you think they'll get away with stealing the mirror?"

"Not a chance."

"Me either."

"They're definitely going to get caught by the cameras at the worst time possible."

"Definitely…"

That was when Tom noticed a camerawoman standing on the Dock of Shame, her camera pointed right at them. "Speaking of cameras…" he pointed a finger at the woman standing on the dock. When the woman saw both of them looking at her, she started to move closer.

"She looks like a stalker…" Daphne commented.

"How do you know what a stalker-?"

"Don't ask. Long story. But she looks like she'd be the kind of person who would sit around and film us for hours."

"So, do we move?"

"We don't just move: we run." They both got to their feet, Tom yanking the umbrella from the sand and handing it to Daphne. Then, they started to run. The camerawoman, as Daphne expected, actually started to run after them.

She was right. This camerawoman _was_ a stalker. This would not be good.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Chris: "Did I mention that we hired a couple of… _crazies_ this season? Well, apparently the insane demand less pay. I'm only paying Maureen the certified stalker _half_ of what I'm paying Chef!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"You know, I'm glad I got eliminated for you," Haley said to Riley as they sat at the tables inside the Mess Hall.

"Really?" Riley asked.

"Yeah. Otherwise I'd still be out there being sexist to my own gender."

"That's nice, babe."

Haley giggled when he called her that. When he reached out to sling and arm around her, though, she slid away.

"Hales?"

"Sorry," she said, standing up. "I have to use the bathroom really quick. I'll be right back, though!"

"I'll be waiting!" Riley called after her as she speed walked out the door.

"So…" Riley suddenly found Sienna at his side. "What did she mean by she 'got eliminated for you'?"

"I had 3 X's and she decided that she couldn't stay in the game without me. So, she followed me here."

Sienna just smirked at that. "You have so got her whipped."

"I don't mean to." Riley admitted. "Believe it or not, I really like her."

"You've known her for less than a week." Sienna pointed out.

"But she's hot and nice and is my kind of girl!"

"Why? Because you could probably convince her to play beer pong with you if you just gave her a kiss?"

"Sienna, I actually _like_ Haley. I'm not using her." Riley insisted. "Even though I'm not that great of a guy, she's a great girl."

"So, she just had bad judgment?" Riley glared and Sienna laughed. "I'm just kidding, you're awesome."

"I know."

"Well, the thing is, are you ever going to tell her about all of the things that you did?" Sienna asked.

"Well… no, I wasn't planning on it."

"Why not?"

"Well, because she doesn't need to know that I kept bothering Daphne until she burst, or that at first I was only using her for her chest, or that I think her brother's a total dweeb, or that I was the one who stuffed newspaper in Corin's saxophone. I'm keeping it from her for as long as I can-"

"You did _WHAT_?!" Unfortunately for Riley, Haley was already back from the bathroom. And she was standing behind Sienna and had heard everything he'd just said. "You're… you're _using _me?!"

"Babe, I-"

"And you did all of those horrible things?!"

"Haley, I did-"

"And you _didn't think I needed to know_?!"

"Haley! I-"

"I don't care anymore, Riley," Haley said, her eyes filling with tears. "If you're not going to be honest with me, I don't think we can be together…"

"What?!"

"You heard me Riley. You lied. A lot! And I think… I think it's over." A tear spilled down Haley's cheek as she walked to the other end of the table.

"Haley! Wait!"

"I'm done with you Riley Smith! I'm completely and fully done with you!"

"Babe-"

"Don't call me that, you liar! I don't want to talk to you ever again!" Haley slammed her head down on the table and started to bawl. Riley was just left silent.

"Oh…" Sienna grimaced. "I'm so sorry-"

"Don't."

"No, I seriously didn't mean it this time."

"I know."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Haley: "I can't believe him…I can't believe he'd just LIE like that!" she unrolls a wad of toilet paper and blows her nose. "He lied over and over and over and I thought he was an awesome guy! But now he's just a jerk!" She throws the wad of tissues at the camera. "I never want to see him again!"

Riley: "Dude…" he mutters, his head in his hand. "This is not good…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"What took you tho long?!" Tanya shouted as Kestrel and Addy approached her between the cabins.

"We got knocked over by the rolling ball of hatred otherwise known as Sienna and Carrie." Kestrel commented. He then quickly added, "Hey! I think I'm actually getting this sarcasm thing down!"

"Yeah, yeah, have epiphaniesth on your own time." Tanya said. "I need your artithtic experteeths (artistic expertise)."

"For what?"

"Well, I need you to use theeth (these) thpray paintsth that I found in the boathouth…"

While Tanya spoke to Kestrel and Addy, she didn't notice the two Tremendous Tortoises rummaging through the Tortoise cabin.

"Okay," Kit-Kat said. "This one's Sienna's bunk."

"She sleeps alone?"

"Long story short, yeah."

Irving got down on his hands and knees and looked under the bed. "She has like twenty bags under here!"

"Well, you take one and I'll take one…"

Outside, Aaron and Lacey stood on either side of the door like sentinels looking out for cameramen. They were caught off guard, however, when one just walked around the side of the cabin and looked at them.

"What are you doing?" he asked, keeping his camera propped up and pointed at them.

"Looking gorgeous." Aaron replied. He flexed his arm. "Welcome to the gun show. Would you like to see my abs?"

The cameraman shuddered and turned to Lacey. She responded in her best Courtney voice, "We're not doing anything wrong because I never break the rules!"

"I-"

"I'm a CIT you know! And I'm running for student body president! Vote for Courtney! Vote for Courtney!"

"Who are you standing watch for?"

"Please. Like I'd stand watch for any ugly people." Aaron flexed his arms and posed for the camera.

"And I'd never help anybody! I'm just a useless, whiny CIT who'll nag at you until your ears breathe. Nag, nag, nag! Nag, nag, nag, nag! Nag, nag, nag, nag! Nag, n-"

"Could you step out of the way then?" The cameraman asked. "I need to get a good shot of what's going on between the cabins."

"Nope! I'm not moving!" Lacey said.

"Have you see my washboard abs?"

"No I haven't, and I don't really want to."

"Nonsense!" Aaron said. "Everybody wants to see my abs!" He grabbed his shirt and pulled, expecting it to rip off. It didn't. He tried again. All it did was stretch a little. "He heh. Um… having technically difficulties!" He pulled at his shirt again, but it still didn't budge. "One moment please…"

Since the ripping of the shirt technique obviously wasn't working, instead he scrambled to slip the shirt off of his head. Unfortunately, it got stuck around his head and he had to keep pulling, scrambling blindly around the porch. At one point he ran into Lacey with his bare stomach, causing her to shudder and push him away. Eventually, he accidentally stepped off of the side of the porch, falling clumsily to the ground.

"Okay, well you're out," the cameraman said.

"Out?!" Aaron asked. "I don't have any X's!"

"Well, you just were out of character three different times by not ripping off your shirt, not making the girl you ran into swoon, and looking like an idiot!"

"I thought it had to be three separate times!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Nope." At that news, Lacey knocked on the door of the cabin.

"Abort mission! Do you hear me? Abort! Abort! Justin has left the building! I repeat, Justin has left the-"

"I'll just be going in there now…" the cameraman had made good use of the time she had her back turned and had now walked up the stairs, drawn an X on her back, and was now reaching for the door.

"No!" Lacey covered up the door with her body. "You can't go in there!"

"Why not?"

"It's… it's not up to my prissy standards! The stick up my ass says that you can't! I'm a CIT!"

"Do you realize that doesn't apply to everything?"

"No! I'm not as smart as I think I am! Did I mention I'm a CIT?!"

"Just move!" the cameraman shoved her away with his elbow and she was pushed across the porch.

"Wait! No! The ogre and the bitch are in there! Don't go or you'll die because you look her straight in the eye!"

The cameraman was ignoring her by now and he opened the door, walking in only to find Irving and Kit-Kat shoving Sienna's bags back under her bed.

"What do you think you're do-?"

"I didn't steal the boots!" Irving shouted. The cameraman just gave him a look and he made up for it with a shrug. "Natural criminal reaction for us guys who've been to juvie."

"Were you _stealing_?" the cameraman asked.

"Um… no." Kit-Kat replied. "We were… just going through her things! Yeah!" She had to bite her lip to keep herself from apologizing. "Oh, and your clothing _totally _doesn't match."

"I don't really care." The cameraman said.

"Well, you should care since I'm… um.., future dictator of the world!"

"What were you stealing?"

"I told you we weren't stealing anythi-"

"I'm sorry I lied to you! We were stealing!" Kit-Kat blurted out. "I'm sorry for saying your clothing was ugly! I'm sorry I said I was a future dictator! I'd never want to do that job!"

The cameraman just counted off on his fingers how many times she'd said sorry, "Well what do you know?" he asked. "That's three!"

Kit-Kat just hung her head and walked outside of the cabin.

"What about me?" Irving asked.

"Well, you're free to go…" he then took a marker from his pocket. "But you still get an X for having a guilty conscience earlier."

Irving just accepted his X, figuring that if he said more he'd be accused of a guilty conscience again.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kit-Kat: "Wait.., so we just went through that whole plan for _nothing_?!"

Aaron: "The cameramen need to learn to keep their rules consistent. I thought Chris had said that we need three _separate_ out of character moments to be eliminated!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Joe Freeman was scrambling to attempt to get out of the bag he was in when he heard a door open again. He felt a hand grab the outside of the bag and yank him out of the space he was in.

"What?!" he shouted. "Where am I?!"

"That's none of your business." A voice replied. Suddenly, the top of his bag was opened up and the sunlight shined in. Joe automatically scrambled from the opening, clawing himself out.

"Air! Fresh air!" he exclaimed when he managed to squirm from the bag. "Yes!" He looked around to find his captor only for her to be gone. He just shrugged it off and started to walk away… only to run straight into a camera. "Do I even want to know what you're going to say?"

* * *

With a loud screeching sound the loudspeakers around camp turned on. An oh-too-familiar skater accent rang through it. "Campers! Be on your toes, because you've made it to the halfway mark! No, you haven't made it six hours, but you've made it to the final eleven campers! You'll be able to find Duncan, Noah, Bridgette, Harold, Lindsay, Courtney, Beth, Leshawna, Geoff, Tyler, and Eva still in the game! The rest? Well, let me put it this way… looooooserrrrs.

"Anyways, since you made it halfway, we're going to change the rules up a little bit: now you're in the **sudden death round**. One more X and you're out despite how many X's you already have. So, if you already have to X's, then I'd advise you to shape up if you want to make it through the challenge, bra! The cameras are everywhere, so be on the lookout bra! And I can tell you, they're going to be hard on you!"

* * *

Around five minutes after the announcement, Kyra, Russell, and Morty found themselves in the Mess Hall suffering the crimes of not calling somebody "white boy", being able to successfully do a yoyo trick, and refusing to wheeze. Blair was luckily in the bathroom at the time that the cameras came around.

* * *

"Is she still behind us?!" Daphne asked, not being able to look over her shoulder because she had to hold the giant umbrella to block the sunlight. Tom looked over his shoulder for her… only to see the camerawoman was less than two feet away.

"RUN FASTER!!!" he shouted, picking up the pace a little. Daphne followed at an equal speed, the camerawoman's pants still audible.

"Why won't she stop chasing us?" Daphne asked.

"You said it yourself! She's a stalker!"

"Certified stalker, actually!" the camerawoman corrected through her heavy breathing.

That just made them attempt to pick up the pace even more. After a few more minutes, they soon began to get tired and slowed down just a little bit. That was when the camerawoman pounced on them, tackling Tom to the ground and grabbing the end of Daphne's ponytail with one hand.

"Haha!" she exclaimed. "Maureen Roman, Certified Stalker never misses her prey!" She pulled a marker from her shirt and marked both Daphne and Tom with an X. "You guys are coming with me!"

* * *

"So, this is really a personality swap for you, huh?"

"I don't communicate with jerks, Irving… Duncan… whatever your name is."

"You know, I'm only getting into character, and Duncan's a jerk-"

"That's not what I meant." Lacey said, crossing her arms over that annoying sweatervest. "I meant the fact that you stole Carrie's boots."

Irving froze stone stiff. "How did you find out about that?"

"Dude, you weren't exactly being stealthy about your random shouting of 'I didn't steal the boots!' How many times have you said that today? Four?"

"So I stole the boots. Big deal."

"Irving, Carrie looks like you just kicked her kitten. Actually, it's worse than that. She looks like you kicked her kitten, ran it over with a steamroller, and then fed it to her for breakfast!"

"So? She deserved it for stealing my harmonica!"

Lacey just sighed. "You're still obsessed with _that_?!"

"She… she could've cost our team the challenge!" Irving didn't even seem sure of himself.

"But she _didn't_! You guys still won!"

"It's still sabotage!"

"Carrie didn't sabotage your team!" she insisted. "I did!"

A moment of silence rang between the unlikely pair.

"You… you what?"

"I told her to do it." Lacey explained further. "She didn't want to. I made her."

"So…" Irving's brow was furrowed. "I did all of this for _nothing_?"

"Pretty much." She replied. "You just had the wrong person."

Irving just slapped his forehead in disbelief. "My god… now I feel like such a jerk! I am such an idiot! I should've never listened to Sienna!"

"You listened to _Sienna_?" Lacey questioned.

"Well… the girl drives a hard bargain." Irving claimed.

Lacey just shook her head in disappointment. "Irv, you have a lot to learn about American girls…"

* * *

"Detective Meisner reporting for duty, ma'am!" Addy tried to salute Tanya, but ended up hitting herself in the eye instead. "MY EYEJE!"

"Did you take care of what I athked you to?" Tanya asked, not taking her eyes from Kestrel's progress.

"Yes sir, Tanya sir." Addy replied. Tanya gave her a glare. "I mean, yes ma'am, Tanya ma'am!"

"That'th better." Tanya smiled. She looked over to Kestrel. "Ith it done yet?"

"Almost." The oddball artist answered. "Just one… more… curve and… voila!" He stepped away from his masterpiece and showed it off. "Is this what you were looking for?"

"Yeth. It'th _exactly_ what I wath looking for!" Tanya nodded. "You're just mithing one thing."

"What?"

"A thignature."

"Come on, I hear voice over here!" a voice spoke, surprising the three Deer that were standing in between the cabins.

"Crap, add the thigature! Quick!" Tanya ordered. "Addy, you hold them off! Do your bestht Eva imprethion!"

"Yes ma'am!" Addy saluted, once again hitting herself in the eye. The hyper girl walked out in front of the two cameraman that were walking in their direction and pounded one fist into the other. "You have totally chosen the wrong girl to mess with!"

_

* * *

_

FLUSH!

Blair stepped out of the bathroom stall and ran her hands under the hot water in the sink, stepping in puddles of soap as she did so. She could only wonder who flooded the bathroom. She turned off the water and walked outside, only to find that Morty, Kyra, and Russell were gone. She raised an eyebrow and put both hands on her hips.

"Did I miss something?"

* * *

The loudspeaker turned on again several minutes later and Chris's voice rang through it. "Attention final three! That's right, you're the final three! Leshawna, Tyler, and Harold have all made mistakes, Bridgette and Geoff have been tackled, Eva had smiled, Noah had drawn, and Beth has been caught being a bitch, so you three are our last remaining campers! Please report to the Mess Hall ASAP so we can pick our winner!"

* * *

"Campers, it all comes down to this…" Chris stood in front of the Mess Hall with Lacey, Irving, and Blair on either side of him. "'Duncan', 'Lindsay', and 'Courtney' have all, surprisingly enough, made it to the finals. Only one of them will be declared the winner of the challenge. If that winner is not Irving, the Tortoises are going to the Ceremony tonight. If it is… then it's the Deer for the fourth time in a row."

Chris turned to the three remaining campers. "Chef Hatchet and I had done a lot of prior film watching while you guys were making our way over here, and we have decided that the few times that you three were caught on camera once of you definitely surpassed the other in getting their character down."

The eliminated campers watched as he pointed his finger at one of the campers. "Blair," the tomboy smiled when hearing her name, "The winner isn't you."

"What?!"

"Nope. Go sit down."

Blair pulled the stuffing from her shirt and tossed it at the host. "You can't lead me on like that!"

"Yes I can," Chris smirked. "I'm rich. I can do whatever I want." Blair crossed her arms over her chest and sat down at the end of one of the picnic tables. Chris turned to the remaining two campers. "And so it comes down to you. Lacey with your over-characterizing, and Irving with your strange outbursts of 'I didn't steal the boots'. Who'd have thought?"

"I wouldn't." Lacey raised her hand. Many of the sitting down campers agreed.

"Well, despite the disagreement, we have a winner in one of you two." Chris continued. "And that winner is…" Chef Hatchet started up a drum roll from inside the kitchen. "The one… the only…" The campers watched in shock and awe as he raised his finger and pointed at the winner. "Lacey Merceau!"

"Oh, no way!" Lacey's jaw dropped.

"Yes! You truly are the perfect Courtney!"

"Oh no way! Oh _hell_ no! Give the win to Irving! I don't want that title!"

"Well, you were ten times a better actor than he was." Chris pointed out. "Your Super Tanya routine was really convincing."

"No! I am _nothing_ like Courtney!"

"Apparently you're a better Courtney than you think!"

"No! This isn't happening! You cannot be serious!"

"I'm 100% serious!"

"I hate you Chris McLean! I'm nothing like her! I was the worst actor here! I-"

"Just be grateful you won, unlike you Tremendous Tortoises." The Tortoises all looked disappointed. "Irving, you have immunity for coming in second place… as for the rest of you, I'll see you at the Marshmallow Ceremony tonight!"

Groans filled the room.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Lacey: "Oh, I had better be being Punk'd!" she looks around the Confession Cam. "Ashton!!! You can come out now!!!"

Irving: "I can't even believe I made it that far! I was so distracted by those stupid boots! I can't believe the whole thing was wrong!"

Riley: "Great. My girlfriend broke up with me and now I could possibly be voted off. How could this day get any worse?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

After being removed of their outfits and accessories, the Tortoises filed back to their cabins completely down that they'd lost, when something caught their eyes.

"What is _that_?!"

Painted on not just the side, but stretching onto the front of the Tremendous Tortoise cabin was a picture of Tanya.

"You like it?" all heads turned towards the now retainer-free Tanya, who'd just gotten to the campground. "I'm sure you can get one done for yourselves if for a good fee." Tanya dug through her pocket and pulled out a wad of money and then approached Joe Freeman in the crowd. "Here's the twenty I promised you, Joe. And thank you _so_ much! It turned out even better than I thought it would!"

All heads turned to watch Tanya place the money into the comic artist's palm with a genuinely grateful smile on her face.

"JOE?!"

"Of _course_ Joe, you don't recognize his work?" Tanya questioned. "Plus, who else can spray paint portraits here?"

"I didn't do it!" Joe Freeman shouted.

"Oh, don't be so modest." Tanya waved her hand in the air in a pish-posh manner. "It's _gorgeous_. Plus, you have your signature on it and everything, so there's no denying great work like that!" Tanya gestured a petite hand to the bottom left corner of the piece, where the name "Joe Freeman" was clearly written.

"That's not my signature!"

"It _does_ match up with the one on Sienna's picture." Daphne pointed out, looking between the two portraits.

"I didn't do it! Why would I ever do it?!"

"Money." Tom suggested.

"But I- come on guys, you know me!" Joe pleaded. "Do you really think I'd ever betray you?"

"Well, you did do a _muy mal_ job during the challenge." Glisa pointed out, having a hard time not remembering 'I was just… seeing if the… tree'.

"I didn't do it!" The Tortoises didn't seem to be convinced. "Guys!"

"So, thanks again Joe! I really love your work!" Tanya gave Joe one last wave before walking back to her cabin. The Tortoises all glared in Joe's direction. He just laughed sheepishly.

"This _really_ isn't my fault!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tanya: "Though the Tortoises don't know it, I'm a _very_ good actress. I want to be on Broadway someday I'm so good. Convincing them that Joe drew that painting was _so_ easy!"

Joe Freeman: "You believe me, right?!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Chris McLean stood in front of the Tremendous Tortoises late that night holding a tray of marshmallows. He had just explained the rules of the ceremony and was now gesturing to the plate.

"There are eleven marshmallows on this plate… and twelve of you." He picked up a marshmallow. "The first marshmallow naturally goes to Irving, who is immune." The jock caught his marshmallow with ease. "The next goes to Jake for his sacrifice of his taste buds, Kyra for her lovely portrayal, and Morty for dealing with her." He picked up three more marshmallows. "Next up? Kit-Kat, Tom, Daphne…" he tossed them out to the crowd. "And Glisa, Sienna, and Aaron…" he looked to the remaining campers. "And that just leaves you two."

Riley and Joe Freeman were left sitting on their stumps.

"Riley, you're here because of your sucky performance in the challenge. You could say that you lacked an effort, right?" the prankster didn't respond. "And Joe, you're here because of your seemingly betrayal of your team at the end of the challenge. Painting something on _your own_ cabin? Not cool, bro, not cool.

"One of you is going home tonight. One of you is safe. Who will it be?" he held up the single marshmallow in front of them, but suddenly turned to the camera. "Find out next time on Total… Drama… Island!"

**

* * *

**

Well, here it is, the next chapter. Sorry for the wait: as I said, school's start again. And a little bit of trivia: this chapter is a good ten pages longer than the previous longest chapter.

**Anyways, as I mentioned earlier, this is the first chapter wher eyou guys get to vote! So, in honor of that, he's my rules:**

**Voting Rules for This Chapter**

**1. If you are on the Tremendous Tortoises, you are voting AS YOUR CHARACTER. So your vote is not influenced by what they don't know. Your character (unless they are Joe Freeman) doesn't know that Joe didn't paint the picture of Tanya, and most likely is convinced that he did. If you have two characters on the same team, just state who's voting for who. They don't have to be the same vote.**

**2. If you aren't on the Tortoises, you can still vote if you wnat. These will be considered THE VIEWER VOTES. They will not count as much as the Team Votes (especially not in this chapter since the viewers know more than the team), but they might have an influence on if the vote turns out to be close or future chapters.**

**3. Though it's not necessary, I'd love a REASON for why you're voting for this person. If you just plain old don't like them, say that. Even if your reason is something as simple as that, it just really helps me out. Don't just leave a review saying "Riley" and that's it.**

**4. YOU CAN ONLY VOTE for Riley or Joe Freeman. Note that the characters do know that Riley didn't put any effort into the challenge and think that Joe painted a portrait of Tanya on their cabin.**

**5. THE DEADLINE FOR VOTES is whenever I post up the next chapter.**

**Have fun voting!**


	18. Ep6, Pt1: Peanuts and Crackerjacks

****

Heh heh... hi guys. Why are you all glaring at me holding sharp objects in your hands? Oh, because I haven't updated in practically a month? Yeah... about that...

**My excuse: this chapter was supposed to be up at least a week or two ago, but when I was almost done with it: BOOM! My computer's broken. Any mouse whatsoever wouldn't work, which meant no navigation unless with the keyboard. So, after figuring out how to save the document, I somehow sent it to myself on email so I could access it from other computers in the house and shipped my laptop off to Dell. Okay, no big deal right? Wrong. I started to use my brother's computer and it turns out that it is so ancient that it doesn't have any form of Microsoft Word or a writing program whatsoever on it. Finally, I used my parents' computer when they weren't home and was able to finish typing up the chapter today. That is my excuse.**

**Hopefully you guys will put down the sharp objects now. Three things I need to cover... um...:**

**First off, I would like to thank all of you that reviewed and/or voted. You guys are awesome.**

**Second off, the ending author's note of this chapter is extremely important and will affect the story in the future. It is definitely necessary to read. Don't skip it.**

**Third off, a warning: This chapter semi drops the F-bomb. If you're not paying attention you can't really tell… but it's **_**kind of**_** there. What do I mean? You'll see… Oh, and the word "Bullshit" is used, but not in a rude way. It's just the name of a card game.**

**Disclaimer: Any evidence of me owning Total Drama Island has mysteriously vanished thanks to the FBI. You didn't hear it from me.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Where're the Peanuts and Crackerjacks When You Need Them?**

"Last time on Total Drama Island: Again!" Chris stood on the dock in the morning, obviously filming this a day after the elimination. "The whole camp was full of hate, and nobody seemed to be happy… well, besides Kyra of course."

_(Clips of several people with furious or frustrated expressions on their faces played across the screen, ending in a clip of Kyra laughing.)_

"Carrie was completely depressed because of the theft of her boots, which we had found out in the previous episode that Irving had taken. Addy had elected herself a detective and ran off to interrogate everybody _but_ Irving!"

_(An image of Irving stealing the boots from the previous episode, Carrie crying, and Addy interrogating Joe Freeman, Jayna, and Carrie flash across the screen.)_

"The next day, we had forced the 22 campers to sit in the Mess Hall and watch reruns of the entire first season of Total Drama Island… for 10 hours straight! Needless to say, they were not all that happy afterwards… of course, that was before they found out the challenge was to act like the campers from last season!"

_(Clips of several of the campers walking out dressed as the previous contestants are shown.)_

"During the challenge, Jake ate a toxic fish, Blair lost her chest, Joe Freeman embarrassed himself, Kit-Kat flooded the bathroom, Aaron looked like an idiot trying to take off his shirt, Daphne and Tom were stalked… do I even _have_ to continue?"

_(Images of Jake biting into the fish, Blair's bra stuffing falling out, Joe stuttering in front of Glisa, Kyra and Blair being sprayed across the camp by a stream of water coming from the bathroom, Aaron falling over because his shirt was caught on his head, and Maureen Roman, Certified Stalker/Camerawoman ran across the screen.)_

"Riley was the first person out of the competition (no surprise there) and while waiting in the Mess Hall, accidentally revealed to his girlfriend that he has been keeping things from her. Guilty as charged, bro."

_(Haley walking away from Riley crying is shown on the screen.)_

"In the end of the game, it came down to Irving, Blair, and Lacey (all three of which playing characters that they didn't necessarily like) as the final three. The victory, surprisingly enough, went to Lacey, giving the Devious Deer their first win since the first challenge!"

_(Lacey is shown begging Chris to give the win to Irving while the Devious Deer are cheering.)_

"Finally, we left you guys at the Marshmallow Ceremony, where it'd come down to Joe Freeman and Riley as the bottom two. Who will be walking the Dock of Shame tonight? What friendships and rivalries will be formed? What's today's _wild_ challenge? And can my hair get _any_ shinier? Find out on this episode of Total… Drama… Island… Again!"

_(Theme song!)_

* * *

"And, welcome back to Total Drama Island!" Chris smiled at the camera. The Tremendous Tortoises, all but two of which standing in a row beside Chris eating their marshmallows, rolled their eyes at him.

"Anyways, we left you guys hanging before the word from out sponsors," the pretty boy continued, raising the plate with the single marshmallow on it to the screen, "We have one marshmallow left, but two campers remaining on the stumps." He gestured out to the tree remains lying in the dirt in front of him where Joe and Riley sat. Joe waved meekly at the camera while Riley had his arms crossed over his chest, an unimpressed scowl on his face.

Chris picked up the single marshmallow and held it in the air in a manner similar to the way the baboon held up the lion cub in The Lion King. "This treat is not only a treat! It represents life! And only one of you will be getting it!"

"We know, we know," Riley snarled. "Just get on with it!"

Chris glared back. "Do you _not_ understand dramatic interludes?!"

Riley just scowled. "You know, Chris? Why don't you go fu-"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Morty: "So Riley got eliminated first, and Joe painted Tanya's head on our cabin. I honestly had to give this a lot of thought...I really don't have a problem with either. They're both really cool, but in the end, I'm going to vote for Joe...sorry man."

Kyra: "It was fun playing LeShawna, but it was really hard!" She laughs sheepishly. "But at least I got Blair to giggle. I'm not mad at her anymore. Really, I'm not!"

Somebody pounding on the side of the outhouse startles her. "Kyra," a familiar voice shouts, "you're here to vote, remember?!"

"Oh! Right! Hehe. My vote's for Riley. He isn't a very good player. He was really mean to Daphne. You can't play tricks on your own teammates, it's just mean!"

The door to the Confession Cam opens and Sienna pokes her head in. "You're done now, right?" Kyra nods and hops out the door while Sienna rolls her eyes.

Sienna: "Okay I can't believe that we lost! After winning three in a row, I would think that we'd know how to keep a winning streak." Sienna rolls her eyes. "Well, even though my team lost, I'm just happy that I got to hit that bitch Carrie, though she did yank some of my hair out…" She rubs the side of her head and winces a bit. "But now… who do I vote for? It has to be Joe." She flips a wave of hair over her shoulder. "How dare he draw a hideous picture of that OCD having psycho Tanya on the side of her cabin?! Well… I did kind of cause the Riley-Haley breakup, but I seriously didn't mean it!" Sienna looks at the camera and puts a hand on her hip. "Now I want to know why Aaron, Kit-Kat, and Irving were looking at me suspiciously! Did Carrie really pull _THAT_ much hair out?"

Daphne: "I'll put this simply. I'm voting for Riley. I swear, he has something against me, but I've never done anything to him."

Glisa: "I heard some of de tings dat happened with Riley and Haley from some of de other girls' gossip, and will admit dat _chico_'s one _tiron grande_, _pero_ my vote goes to Joe. Dat portrait was muy loco and trees? Can someone _PLEASE_ explain dat to me? I mean, seriously, _por favor_?"

Irving: The jock sighs. "I'm not going home, except right now I almost wish I was. These people are too confusing... and I've become a crook. I guess I should return the boots... hopefully without her finding out because I don't know if I could survive having to actually face her." He thinks for a minute. "Maybe if I do that fast enough, Lacey won't tell everyone I stole them. But, who to vote off? I'm saying Riley. At least he tried, and as a team, we all need to try. Right now, I think that Riley would be more concerned in trying to get Haley back than in the game... and that might make him do something stupid, like throw a challenge."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"-ck yourself?"

Chris's jaw dropped and the prankster gave him a smug smile. "I am so happy I'm doing this right now." The host muttered. "The final marshmallow of the night goes to…"

...

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Joe."

Joe looked at Chris with shock when he threw him the marshmallow. "Seriously?!"

"Seriously, dude." Chris nodded.

"You're not just doing this because Riley ticked you off?"

"Nope."

Joe's smile lit up his face as he stood up and plopped the ball of fluff into his mouth. Riley on the other hand hung his head.

"You guys are idiots," he said, still looking at the ground. "I can't believe you'd vote me off instead of him."

"Well, you _are_ mean!" Kit-Kat commented.

"And rude." Kyra continued.

"And obnoxious." Jake pointed out.

"And a total jerk." Tom finished.

Riley just walked past the line of his teammates with his middle finger up.

"Screw you, and you, and you, and _especially _you, and you…"

He stopped in the middle of the group when he got to Sienna.

"Hey, I didn't vote you off." The brunette confessed.

"Can you… try to fix what you accidentally did?" Riley asked her. "And tell Haley that I really like her?"

Sienna just gave him a look and said in a whiny voice, "Do I _have_ to?!"

"Please?"

The queen bee was shocked by his usage of manners. That just got her to nod. "Fine."

"Thanks." Riley put up his middle finger again and continued his walk until reaching the end of the line of people. That was where the Dock of Shame awaited. Before he could make it onto the wood, he was interrupted.

"Hey Riley?" The prankster turned around only to find that Daphne had stepped out of the line of people to speak to him.

"What do _you_ want?"

"Hey, you don't have to be so touchy." Daphne commented. "And I just wanted to tell you something."

"What?"

There was a pause before Daphne spoke again. And what she said was something that nobody expected her to say.

"Ha! You totally deserve this! Have fun in Loser-Ville loser!" Riley just sneered at her and flipped her off a second time, walking down the dock huffily. Daphne had a smile on her face when she stepped back into line.

When he stepped onto the boat, Riley unexpectedly turned around to make one last comment. "So, I think that the rest of the campers left with their dignity intact," Most of his teammates raised their eyebrows at this. Was he actually going to say something heartfelt? "But, I'm not most people. I FRIGGING HATE YOU ALL!!! I HOPE THERE IS A FIRE ON THIS ISLAND AND YOU ALL DIE!!! SCREW YOU ALL!!!"

As the boat drove away, he was _still_ screaming.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Joe Freeman: "I still can't believe it! I'm safe!" he pumps his fist. "Yes!"

Sienna: "Well, at least he doesn't blame me for accidentally getting him to spill the beans to Haley." She grimaces. "But how do I tell her that he's sorry?"

Daphne: She is moving her arms around in a victory dance with a smile on her fact chanting, "Riley's go_ne_, he's finally _go_ne, Riley's g_on_e!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Tanya?"

"Yes?"

"How can you be here while you're staring at me from over there?"

The drama queen took the towel off of her head and shook out her wet hair as she walked over to Addy in confusion.

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"You're staring at me." The hyper girl pointed out the window. Sure enough, the giant painting of Tanya was staring straight into their window. The two pajama-clad girls just stared for a moment.

"You know, now that you pointed it out I guess it really is kind of creepy." She said.

"Not just kind of." Addy pointed out. "It's _uber_ scary!"

Tanya stared at her likeness for another moment. "Maybe we should sleep with the shades _closed_ tonight…"

"HE'S GONE! EVERYBODY REJOICE BECAUSE HE'S FINALLY GONE!" Tanya just rolled her eyes at the voice shouting from outside and rubbed the towel on her head to dry off her hair.

"I don't even want to know."

"I do!" Addy exclaimed, bounding into a cartwheel out the door.

Outside, Daphne was running in ahead of the other Tremendous Tortoises exclaiming that Riley had been voted off and humming something that sounded a lot like "Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead". Several of the Deer came out from the cabin and bathrooms when Daphne signaled the Tortoises' arrival.

"What's up with _her_?" Blair asked, poking her head out from the communal bathrooms with a pair of slippers in hand.

"Riley's gone!" Daphne shouted again. "He's off of the island! Finally!"

"He's _what_?!" Blair was pushed out of the bathroom door by Haley, who ran outside wearing her pajamas (which were pretty much just lingerie).

"He's gone!" Daphne cheered, not realizing that Haley looked devastated.

"Wait, you mean he's like… _gone_ gone?" Daphne nodded at high speeds with a ridiculous smile on her face. "Like, off of the island gone?" Daphne's smile grew as she nodded. "Like, gone for _good_ gone?!"

"Yes! He's gone forever!" Haley's eyes started to brim over in tears and she quickly ran towards the Deer cabin, pushing Addy out of her way in the process. She ran inside the girls' side and slammed the door behind her. A moment later the door opened back up and Tanya was thrown out onto the porch. Daphne's expression fell.

"Whoops…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tanya: She has an angry expression on her face as her wet hair drooped around her face. "I can't believe this." She complains. "Every stinking day somebody either says something or does something bad to me."

Daphne: "Okay, so maybe it wasn't all that bright to be cheering about Riley's elimination in front of his ex-girlfriend…"

Blair: She is brushing dirt off of her pants with an angry look on her face. "I can't believe this." She whines. "Everyday I _swear_ something bad happens to me!"

Addy: "Even from the safety of this outhouseje, I can still feel giant Tanya's eyes watching me…" the hyper girl shudders at the thought.

**End Confession Cam**

_

* * *

_

Knock knock knock.

"Go away!"

_Knock knock knock._

"Go. Away."

_Knock knock knock._

"Did I not just say go away?!"

"Haley, it's Sienna."

"Sienna?! Why would I _ever_ want to talk to you?!"

"Because I need to tell you something."

"What're you going to tell me? That Riley was lying to me even more?!"

"No, I actually-"

"Because I am never going to forgive him for doing something so stupid! I hate him now!"

"Jeez, you guys were only together for what? Two days or something? It's not that big of a-"

"Not that big of a deal?!" the door to the girl's side of the Devious Deer cabin was practically ripped open, a glaring Haley standing on the other side. She jabbed a slender finger at Sienna, poking her in the chest. "You think that this isn't a big idea?! My boyfriend… _ex_-boyfriend had just said that he's been keeping secrets and using me for my chest and wasn't planning on telling me! And now he's just been voted off of the island! Do you really think that this isn't that big of a deal?!"

Sienna just stood shocked at the brunette. Haley's eyes were bloodshot and mascara tainted trails of tears stained her cheeks. She had obviously been crying prior to Riley's elimination.

"Can I just talk?" the queen bee questioned, speaking in a soothing tone of voice. Haley just gave her a look. "Please? I won't stay long." Haley just sighed and nodded, walking away from the door. Sienna followed her inside.

"So, what do you want?" Haley questioned, falling onto her bed. "Have you come to tell me that Riley asked you to marry him or something?"

Sienna raised her eyebrow. "Me and _Riley_?!"

"It's obvious that you had a thing for him." Sienna just burst out laughing when Haley said that, clutching her sides in a burst of the giggles. "What?"

"Oh…oh that's good…" Sienna wiped a tear from her eye from her laughing. "I don't know why you ever thought that, but I have nor will I _ever_ be even vaguely interested in Riley."

"Then answer my first question: why are you here?"

"Riley told me to tell you that he's really, really sorry. Like so sorry that it's not even funny." Sienna explained. "And he told me to tell you that he really, really likes you and hopes that you aren't mad at him."

Haley didn't respond for a couple of moments. "I… I don't know if I should believe you. Or him for that matter."

"Why not?"

"You don't exactly have the best reputation."

"Would I lie about something like _this_?" Sienna questioned.

"You do go downright low at some points."

"I'm completely, one hundred percent serious."

"Cross your heart and hope to die?"

"No! I'm not dying!" Sienna exclaimed. Haley just glared at her. "Well, even if the sake of your relationship is at risk, there is no way that I'm risking my life… even if it is totally true."

"Sienna… just leave."

"What?"

"I can't deal with you anymore. Just get out of here."

"But-"

"Get out."

"Fine." Sienna walked towards the door and opened it up, looking back at the usually upbeat girl. "You're sure-"

"Just go!" The queen bee left the room, hearing Haley sobbing behind her.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "You see? This is what happens when I try to do nice things!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Irving stood in the boys' side of the Tremendous Tortoise cabin pacing. He had a difficult decision to make.

"I can't believe this." He muttered to himself. He pointed at his perpetrator resting on his bed. "This is all your fault. This all spiraled out of control and it's all because of you." The perpetrator stayed silent. "Ugh… what do I do? What do I do?"

He was talking to the boots.

Irving really was faced with a problem. He had been planning on returning the boots without being noticed, maybe just dropping them in the girls' cabin and getting out of there as fast as he could. Unfortunately, Haley had just locked herself in there, so there was no way he could drop off the boots inconspicuously. He could always hand them right to Carrie or have somebody else do it, but he didn't want to have her or anybody else have to know it was him… but if he kept the boots, Lacey was most likely going to tell Carrie that he'd taken them. This was harder than it should be.

"Well, I could always just leave them on the porch while nobody's looking…" Irving thought aloud. He thought about it for a minute before deciding that was exactly what he'd do. He held the boots underneath his arm and poked his head out the door.

Surprisingly enough, there weren't too many people near the cabins. Most people were in the bathrooms, either waiting for a shower or doing their business. Kit-Kat and Glisa were talking outside the bathroom with pajamas slung over their arms, though they didn't seem to notice that Irving was looking outside. Somebody could be heard screaming from the bathroom that somebody was peeking in the showers.

Irving walked down the steps and towards the Devious Deer cabin, trying to look casual but walking a little faster and too suspicious to just be wandering along. He tiptoed up the stairs to the Deer cabin and took one more suspicious glance around before walking up to the door. He placed the boots beside the door, undistracted by Haley's sobbing. Mission accomplished…

That is until he turned around and ran straight into a certain British designer.

"Carrie?!" he shouted.

"Could you move please?" Carrie asked. Irving just stood in place. "Come on, I said please."

"I can't." Irving insisted.

"Why not?"

"Because… Haley asked me to stand guard so nobody could go in there while she's crying."

"I really don't think you're ever spoken to Haley." Carrie pointed out. "And you're not all that scary."

"Well… she thought I was strong enough to fend off anybody who tried to get in." Irving thought up. "You don't have to be scary to guard a door. It's just a door."

"Exactly, so move so I can walk _through_ that door." She attempted to go around him, but he just slid over and blocked her way (or more specifically her view of the boots) again. "Come on, Irving!" She tried to go around him in the opposite direction, but he just stuck out an arm, stopping her. "Is this some kind of a joke? Because it's not really a good one."

"No, it's not a joke. I'm serious."

"Are you trying to hide something?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest in suspicion.

"Why would you ever think that?"

"Maybe because you're being completely suspicious." Carrie tried to get around him again, but he shifted over.

"Suspicious?" he questioned. "Why would I ever be suspicious?"

"Let me past you and I'll tell you exactly why."

"No." Carrie faked going left this time, but instead ran right. If Irving had reacted less than a second faster, he would've stopped her… but she had a clear view of the boots. "My… my boots…"

Irving smiled nervously when Carrie glared at him. "Look at that! I had no idea those were there!"

"I _knew_ you were suspicious of something!" she shouted. "I should've known it was you! I can't believe Addy didn't figure it out…"

"Addy? The one who always acts like she drank twenty cups of coffee?"

"Yeah."

"Why would you ever-?"

"She volunteered… but I can't believe you! Why'd you take them?"

"Well… _somebody_ had given me the idea to take them in revenge for the whole harmonica thing-"

"Sienna?!"

"I didn't _say_ that."

"So it was her."

"As I was saying, during the last challenge Lacey admitted that stealing the harmonica was all her idea and she'd put you up to it." Irving continued. "And now I just feel like a bloody idiot for doing this stupid thing for no reason!"

"You should." Carrie said, crossing her arms again. "You shouldn't take things from somebody without knowing what they mean to them."

"I'm sorry, okay? It was all just a big misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? This was _way_ bigger than a misunderstanding."

"I apologized, right? And I gave them back! It's not like I flushed your boots down the loo or something!"

"Sienna told you to do that?!"

"No, but I'm surprised that she didn't."

"Me too." Carrie smiled at that. At least she wasn't the only one who realized how mean Sienna could be.

"So… can we just forget about this whole thing?" Irving asked, figuring he'd ask while she was smiling.

Carrie's expression fell. "We'll see." She picked up her boots and walked into the cabin, shutting the door behind her.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Irving called after her.

"Neither. It's a 'we'll see'."

Irving just shrugged. That had turned out better that it could've.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Carrie: "I can't believe him! He actually had the nerve to think I'd just get over it like that?" As she speaks, she is pulling her boots back onto her feet despite the fact that she was still in her pajamas. "Well, it's not that easy Irving. Even if Sienna told you to do it, I'm not going to fall for it." Once she has both boots on, she smiles and looks down at her feet. "Would it be weird if I wore these to bed?"

Irving: He sighs in relief. "That actually turned out pretty well. I was almost expected to be slapped across the face or something!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"I am so glad to be out of those clothes. I'm pretty sure I'll have nightmares about intergalactic hamburgers for weeks."

"At least you weren't eliminated _because_ of your freaking clothing."

"Right. I heard about that shirt thing. I feel bad for you."

Aaron and Morty were currently washing their hands in the bathroom after taking a bathroom break, complaining about the challenge. They had both been extremely embarrassed in their own ways, and neither really seemed to be laughing about it.

"Who told you?"

"I heard Kit-Kat mention it in the Mess Hall." Morty responded.

"Kit-Kat was talking about me?" Aaron's face lit up when Morty nodded.

"She was just saying how you fell over while taking off your shirt."

"Right, right, that's cool." Aaron tried to make his expression casual again, though the hint of a smile still tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"I know you're into her." Morty said. "And that's cool. I never would've expected it considering you guys look like total opposites, but I'm all… for… it…"

Morty had started to trail off when one of the shower stalls opened and a cloud of steam was released, slightly fogging up the mirrors. Out of the steam walked Glisa, wrapped in only a pale pink towel around her body and a smaller one around her hair, a single strand of dark hair hanging loose beside her face. Water drops still dripped down her tan skin, an effect that when combined with the mist made her look almost angelic and unreal, as if she had been posed in the perfect position for a photo. Morty had to keep himself from gaping as she walked up to the sink beside him.

As if she read his mind, that was when Glisa reached up for the towel wrapped around her hair. She pulled on the towel, letting her dark, wet hair to fall gracefully around her face. Because it was still wet, she shook her head a little. Morty and Aaron were both thinking the same thing: they would totally kill to see that in slow motion. Glisa ran her hands through her hair, obviously unaware of the two amazed guys beside her.

"Did you have a nice shower?" Morty asked after a good couple of seconds of watching her run her hands through her hair. Glisa jumped a little, just realizing that he was there, but smiled when seeing it was him.

"_Sí,_ I did." She told him. "De water was actually _caliente_ since Tanya took a shower earlier and didn't use up all de water."

Aaron's eyes seemed to just get wider. "Well, I'll be leaving now before I say something stupid." He walked out of the bathroom, leaving Morty and Glisa to not even want to know what was running through is head.

"Your hair looks so much nicer without those dark blue streaks." Morty commented. "Well, your hair actually looks really nice all of the time."

Glisa laughed. "_Azul_ is definitely not my color."

"I think you could pull it off if you wanted to."

"Really?"

"You wouldn't even have to try." He smiled. "I don't know anybody who _wouldn't_ want to be near a gorgeous girl like you."

"You're just saying dat because I'm in a towel, aren't you?" Glisa teased, though she would still be completely flattered even if that was the reason.

"No way." Morty replied. "I'd want to be near you even if you were wearing fifteen layers of clothing."

"Even if de clothes were ugly?"

"Of course."

Glisa's smiled stretched from ear to ear at that.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Morty: "Why hadn't I ever really noticed Glisa before?" he questions himself. "She's good looking and has a fun personality." He smiles. "I think I'll definitely be talking to her more often."

Glisa: She still has the ear to ear smile on her face. "Like I've already said, Morty is _muy guapo_… and he's really nice."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Breakfast the next morning was pretty uneventful. The gruel of the day was a peach colored pile of what looked like spaghetti. The thing is that when you touched it with your fork, the entire clump came up as a solid item. Nobody really wanted to question what it was after hearing about the fish from Jake and Jayna.

Russell was trying to convince Haley that Riley was a total jerk, so she shouldn't be so down in the dumps. Of course, she didn't believe a word he was saying, but he was trying anyway. Daphne still seemed to be happy dancing about Riley's elimination. Glisa and Morty were sitting next to each other. Jake and Jayna refused to touch their food.

All of the oddly run of the mill activity was interrupted by Chris slamming the door open and walking into the room just like every other day. The odd part though was what he said.

"You guys have the day off."

The entire room went silent.

"Are you serious?" Tom asked.

"Completely."

"Why-"

"Don't ask why." Chris interrupted Kit-Kat. "Just enjoy it."

There was another moment of silence before Glisa let out a deafening _grito_ (or a long Mexican scream that's used in music) and got up.

"Come on guys!" she said. "Why are we just sitting here when we have de whole _día_ off?"

At that realization, everybody got up and ran outside, leaving Chris in the dust. Chef Hatchet stepped out of the kitchen when seeing they were all gone.

"Do we have the areas marked for tonight yet?" Chris asked him.

"We're a quarter of the way done." Chef replied.

"Good."

**

* * *

**

The Shore by the Lake

"Heads up Jayna!" The neon orange Frisbee flew from Jake's hand through the air right above Jayna's head. She ran after it and chucked it over to Joe Freeman. Joe attempted to catch it, but instead it knocked him upside the head. Jake grabbed it from the sand beside him and threw it over to Blair, who was now hysterically laughing at Joe. The tomboy caught the Frisbee easily as Joe rubbed the side of his head.

"Dude, are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, a couple of brain cells lost can't hurt." He replied.

"Good. Think fast!" Blair whipped the Frisbee at Joe. This time he actually caught it and she gave him a sarcastic applause. "That was great. I don't think you can do it twice in a row, though."

"You're on."

It turns out that the answer is no, Joe Freeman could not catch a Frisbee twice in a row.

As the four played with the Frisbee, Sienna and Tanya were both tanning on the beach. The two girls sat on opposite sides of the beach, however, so everybody's ears were spared from the bickering that would occur if they were anywhere near each other. Daphne sat under the giant umbrella in the middle of the beach reading a magazine that she must have taken from Sienna. Haley sat on the edge of the water with her feet dunked in, still looking miserable, with Carrie sitting next to her trying to be a shoulder to cry on.

In the water, Glisa, Kyra, and Kit-Kat were hitting around a beach ball while Irving, Tom, Morty, and Aaron were playing a very testosterone fueled game of American football (or more specifically 'Pass the Football' since they couldn't play actual football with four people, which at first had been continued from their beach party until they added Aaron into the mix).

"Hey Morty, what's that seagull doing over there?" Tom asked, pointing off into the distance.

"What seagull?" Morty turned his head to look only for Aaron to pass the football to Tom before the dark skinned boy could realize that he'd been tricked.

"Hey!" Morty tried to jump up to intercept the pass that Tom had just made to Irving, but he was way too short to get near it. "You guys suck, do you know that?"

"I told you that you guys were cheating last time." Irving said, catching the football easily. "I guess it's your turn to be the target." He threw the football over Morty's head again to Aaron, who jokingly waved the football in front of the ladies' man's face. Just when Morty was close enough to grabbing it, Aaron chucked it to Tom.

"Ugh!" Morty stomped his foot under the water. "I hate my height!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tom: "Who knew that something like that could get him so annoyed?"

Morty: "It's not _my_ fault that I'm shorter than the average male teenager… and a good percentage of the average female teenagers."

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

The Devious Deer Cabin

"Where is it? Where is it?"

"Inside the cabin."

"Is it cool?"

"It's really cool."

"Is it _uber_ cool?"

"I think so." Kestrel, Addy, Russell, Joe Howlett, and Lacey were walking towards the Devious Deer cabin. Addy and Lacey had both been told about something awesome that was inside the boys' side of the cabin (Addy from Kestrel and Lacey from Joe bragging), so the only three residents had decided to show them exactly what it was.

"Did she _really_ just say 'uber'?" Joe asked.

"That's what I heard." Russell replied.

"I'm pretty sure she says it all the time." Lacey pointed out. "It gets really annoying too."

"She's _already_ really annoying." The five walked up the stairs of the cabin and Kestrel opened the door, letting them all in.

Addy and Lacey stopped and stared at the sight of the awesome thing.

It was a giant stereo system with several piles of CD's on top of it.

"Where… where did you get _that_?" Lacey asked.

"What is it?" Addy cocked her head to the side.

"It's a stereo system." Russell explained to Addy. "Jolt left it behind when we voted him off."

"How did he get it here?"

"Just listen to the number one rule in comic books: don't ask questions. It doesn't really have to make sense."

"Why didn't he take these with him?" Lacey asked, walking over and going through the CD's.

"He couldn't fit the entire thing in his bag." Kestrel explained.

"Even the CD's?!"

"A good half of those are the three of ours combined." Joe pointed out.

"Ooh, what's in there now?" Addy asked, pressing the play button.

"_DON'T REALLY WANNA MAKE IT TOUGH, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THAT I'VE HAD ENOUGH! MIGHT SOUND CRAZY BUT IT AIN'T NO LIE, BABY BYE, BYE, BYE!"_

Joe, Addy, Lacey, and Russell stared in disbelief at the stereo. Kestrel just scrambled over to it and stopped the music, took out the CD, and put it in his pocket.

"That would be mine." He smiled sheepishly.

"Was that 'N Sync?" Addy asked.

"No! No! It was… Metallica!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Lacey: "Metallica? _Really_ Kestrel? _Metallica_?!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Lacey started flipping through the CD's while Addy messed with the fast forward and rewind buttons on the stereo. Joe, Russell, and Kestrel stood by making sure none of their things were broken.

"What the heck is _this_?!" Lacey asked, turning over a CD case. "Who _actually_ has Free Bird on a CD?"

"That'd be mine!" Russell exclaimed, snatching the case from her. Lacey just shook her head at him.

"I should've known."

"What happens if I press the rewind and fast forward buttonsje at the same time?" Addy asked, trying it anyway before anybody could answer.

"If Addy breaks this, we don't owe Jolt anything, right?" Russell asked.

"We didn't do it." Kestrel replied. "The monster at the bottom of the lake did."

Russell nodded in agreement.

"Whose are these?" Lacey questioned with a stack of five or six CD's in her hands. She read a few of the titles out loud.

"Those would all be mine." Joe Howlett said.

"Well, I'm borrowing them."

"No you're not!"

"Too late."

"Why do you even want them?"

"You have good taste in music."

"Buy your own!"

"I'm too cheap."

"But-" Before he could finish his sentence, she had already left the room and was opening the door to the girls' side of the cabin. "I'd better get those back!"

"Guys!" Addy shrieked. The three boys turned their heads towards her only to see that the speakers on the stereo were now emitting clouds of smoke.

Russell only sighed.

**

* * *

**

One Hour Later, The Lake

"One ace."

"Two twos."

"One three."

"Three fours."

"Bullshit!"

"Dang it!"

"Two fives."

"Three sixes."

"Two sevens."

"One eight."

"Bull_shit_!"

"Damn it Kestrel, I am never going to play a card game with you again if you keep it up!" Blair pouted, picking up the small pile of cards in front of her for the second time in a row.

"It's my x-ray vision." Kestrel said, wiggling his fingers as he said x-ray vision.

All 21 remaining campers were now on the shore of the lake bored out of their minds. Apparently there wasn't much to do on a private island… alone… with 21 teenagers on it… several of which being extremely attractive… with no adult supervision… and tons and tons of dangerous items spread around the entire camp…

"Three nines."

"Two tens."

"B.S.?" Kit-Kat asked questionably.

"Nope." Jayna smiled, flipping over the two cards that she had just put down. Sure enough, they were both tens.

"Darn it." Kit-Kat said, picking up the cards in the pile.

"Ugh!" All heads turned to Addy, who'd just stood up in the sand. "I can't take all this sitting still anymore! We have to do something!"

Several murmurs in agreement followed.

"I think there was a bag of baseball mitts in the boathouse when you kidnapped me." Carrie spoke up.

Almost instantly, several people got up to go grab them. Apparently they were playing baseball.

* * *

Chris McLean was lounging in a beach chair tanning by his own personal trailer when somebody blocked his sunlight. He raised his glasses only to see Kyra standing over him.

"Hi-ya!" she waved with a goofy smile on her face.

"What're you doing here?" Chris asked, not amused at her intrusion.

"We were all just wondering if there's a baseball field around here."

Chris gave her a look. "_That's_ what you're here for?" Kyra nodded. "There's a path behind the Mess Hall that leads to one that's just on the outskirts of the forest. Don't go in the woods though. Chef's laid out some… um… bear traps because the stupid thing's stolen one marshmallow too many."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Chris McLean: "I am _such_ a good liar. At least they won't be going in those woods anytime soon."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Come on batter, batter, batter, batter, swing batter, batter, swing, swing, swing!!!"

"Shut up Tanya!"

"Batter, batter, batter! Look over here batter! Oh, is that a ball batter?! Swing, swing, swing!!!"

"Tanya, if you're going to scream at me I want to see _you_ come up here!"

"Oh, sorry Sienna… oh, is that a strike I see coming?"

"What?!" Sienna swung the baseball bat only to see that nothing was coming at her.

"STRIKE!!!"

"Tanya!"

The campers had found the baseball field after fifteen minutes or so of searching. Currently the Tremendous Tortoises (or more specifically Sienna) were up to bat while the Devious Deer were in the field, Addy and Blair presently arguing over who was going to pitch. Haley, Kit-Kat, Joe Howlett, Daphne, and Tanya had chosen not to play for their own reasons (Haley because she was still depressed, Kit-Kat because she was freakishly afraid of baseball, Joe because he didn't feel like doing anything at the moment, Daphne for obvious reasons, and Tanya because she's Tanya) so they were now lined up on the bench watching the others. Joe had been elected umpire by the teams because he was the only one that they knew wouldn't be crying, flinching away from the ball, possibly having his view blocked by an umbrella, or complaining during the game, despite the fact that he probably wouldn't be paying attention long enough to call strikes. Daphne was keeping score.

"Are you guys ready yet?!" Sienna called after making a face at Tanya. Standing on the pitcher's mound, Blair currently had Addy in a chokehold. "I'm not going to stand up here all day!"

"Can't breathe!" Addy strained.

"Let me pitch!" Blair snarled.

"Fine, fine!" Blair moved her arm and Addy fell to the ground, gasping for air. "I knew you'd come to your senses." Jayna threw Blair the ball from first base as Addy trudged out to be the only outfielder (considering they only had seven players). "Can I start?"

All eyes turned to Joe H, who just sighed. "Play ball."

As soon as he said that, Blair chucked the ball at Sienna as hard as she could. Sienna just shrieked and backed up, the ball landing right in the catcher's, Lacey's, glove.

"That's a strike." Joe said with as much enthusiasm as a Goth kid.

"Smooth move, queen bee." Lacey remarked, throwing the ball back to Blair.

"I wasn't ready for it!" Sienna insisted.

"You snooze you lose." Joe shrugged.

Sienna just sneered and got ready to swing for the next ball… only for it to come whizzing past her bat and into Lacey's glove.

"Strike two."

"What?!"

"Haha!" Carrie pointed from her position at third base.

"Shut up!"

_Zoom!_

"Strike three. You're out."

"I wasn't even paying attention!" Sienna shouted.

"You're still out." Joe said with another vague shrug of his shoulders.

"Woo! Look who's the awesome pitcher!" Blair said, victory dancing towards Addy. Addy stuck her tongue out at her from the outfield as Aaron came up to bat.

First pitch and Aaron ripped it out to leftfield. Addy came running across the field to grab it while Russell ran backwards from shortstop… only for them to collide. The ball landed right next to them. Several of the Tortoises laughed as Aaron started rounding the bases. Russell reached over and grabbed the ball and threw it into Carrie at third. She caught it a second too late. Aaron was safe.

Next up for the Tortoises was Jake, who made it to second because Jayna was too busy watching him run to catch the ball at first. Joe Freeman was up next, and he got out because his ball was caught. Tom's went flying into center field, sending both him and Jake home. The half-inning ended when Kyra accidentally threw her bat on her third strike, the bat landing somewhere near second base.

* * *

In the second half of the inning, Irving the jock pitched, getting Carrie, Addy, and Jayna out in nine pitches straight to Jake's glove.

* * *

The score was 3-0 when Glisa surprised herself by hitting a ball to second base and making it to first in the next inning. Irving batted next and sent the ball out to right field. Addy dived for it… and missed. Morty hit a double and sent Glisa home with Irving on third. Sienna got out swinging again, and Aaron's was caught by Russell at shortstop. Jake hit a single, letting Irving get a run. Joe Freeman got out after hitting a line drive right at Blair. Fortunately, her glove was in front of her face.

* * *

5-0 and Russell was up to bat. The comic geek surprised everybody by hitting Irving's pitch into centerfield, making it halfway around the bases before the ball was thrown into Joe Freeman at third. Blair was up next and hit a ball to Kyra in leftfield. Kyra screamed when realizing the ball was coming at her, but when she saw who had hit it she made sure she caught it.

Lacey was up to bat next and hit hers to Sienna in right field. Sienna naturally didn't catch it, so Russell made it home with Lacey on third. Kestrel then got out because he was facing the wrong direction when he was hitting, so the ball just bounced off the backstop. Carrie came up next and "accidentally" hit the ball right at Irving's head. If the jock had put his glove up a millisecond slower he might've had brain damage.

* * *

5-1 and Tom was up. Kestrel and Addy had switched positions so now the artist was the single outfielder. He seemed to be unaware of that and was currently sitting in the grass in centerfield watching a beetle crawl up his arm. Unfortunately for him, Tom's hit was headed straight for him.

"Kestrel you idiot, look up!" Tanya screamed from the bench. Kestrel didn't seem to hear her and was currently laughing at the beetle crawling up the side of his neck. Tanya just sighed. "Your funeral."

"KESTREL!!!" Out of nowhere, Addy came diving in from second base and landed on Kestrel, rolling him over to the side. The ball landed right where he had just been sitting. The hyper girl was now sitting on top of the clueless artist, pointing a finger at the ball. "What were you thinking?! That ballje could've just hit you! Do you _want_ a baseball sized hole in your head?"

Kestrel looked confused. "There was a ball coming for my head?!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "Kestrel is such a goofball. Sometimes I wonder if he's in his own world more than he is in ours."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Am I doing this right?" Kyra stood at home plate with a baseball bat in hand, unknowingly holding it upside down.

"Flip it over." Irving instructed from behind the fence.

"What?"

"He said you're holding it better than he did." Lacey, who was crouched down in the catcher's position behind her, said.

"Oh, okay!" Kyra smiled, lifting the bat to her shoulder.

"No!" Irving called. "Turn it around!"

"What?!"

"He said 'No! A girl's better at baseball than I am!'" Lacey smirked.

"Oh, sorry Irving!" Kyra shouted. Irving just slapped his palm to his forehead and walked out to the field. He turned to Joe Howlett.

"Can I call time?"

Joe just shrugged. "Do you _honestly_ think I know how to play baseball?"

Irving walked over to home plate and plucked the bat from Kyra's hands. He turned it right side up and then handed it back to her.

"Ooohhh! _That_'s what you were saying?" Kyra said.

"Yeah." Irving nodded. "Now hit a homerun."

"Okay!"

Unsurprisingly, Kyra accidentally threw the bat again on her first swing.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Irving: The Brit shrugs. "Hey, I tried."

Kyra: "I thought I was swinging it right! Somehow, the bat just keeps slipping out of my hands!"

Jayna: She is sitting in the outhouse rubbing her arm, which is bright red, wincing in pain. Sure enough, when she moves her hand the word "Slugger" is printed on her arm. "Stupid Kyra…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Sienna was convinced that she had the best position on the field. Why? Well, Tom and Irving had just switched positions after Glisa and Sienna had gotten out and ended the top of the third inning, and she was in right field. This meant that she had a clear view of Irving's backside as he stood at first base. The game was held up as the Deer tried to get Tanya to replace Jayna at first base because she'd been hit by the bat, so she had some time to just stand there and watch.

"Men in shorts are God's gift to me…" Sienna muttered to herself.

Mesmerized by the sight in front of her, Sienna didn't realize that the Deer had gotten Tanya to get out onto the field and Tom had thrown the first pitch. Surprisingly enough, Addy had hit the ball and sent it flying up into the air… only for it to start to descend as it got closer to the queen bee.

"Sienna, look out!" Daphne called from the bench.

"Look out for what?" That was when she finally noticed the baseball. Realizing that she had no chance of catching it, Sienna did the first thing that came to mind: put her hands over her head, ducked down to the ground, and waited to get hit.

The ball never touched her.

She looked up only to see that somebody had ran over and extended their glove over her head, cushioning the ball. To her enjoyment, that person was Irving.

"I think you might want to start paying a little more attention." He said, throwing the ball to Tom.

"Yeah." Sienna nodded. "I was just distracted, that's all!"

"Distracted? By what?"

"Um… a squirrel?"

Irving looked at her skeptically. "O_kay_ then…"

Sienna just gave him a smile. "Thanks a lot."

"No problem."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "Smooth move Sienna…" she mutters to herself, rolling her eyes. "Squirrels? Oh yeah, you're _so_ cool."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

Four batters (one of which being Tanya, who had replaced Jayna), one caught ball, and one strikeout later, the score was 7-2 and the Deer were being creamed. As Kestrel and Carrie switched positions, Lacey called Blair over to the fence in front of the benchwarmers and "umpire". Unfortunately for Joe Howlett, they were over there to talk to him.

"Now, explain this to me." Lacey said. "How is it that the umpire's on _our team_ and we're _still_ losing?"

"You guys suck?" Joe suggested.

"Hey, only _some_ of us suck." Blair pointed out, pointing her thumb over her shoulder at Kestrel and Addy who were now waving at each other.

"As I was saying," Lacey spoke. "You're not calling enough strikes and outs against the Tortoises."

"Hey, I'm calling whatever's in the general area a strike. If it goes way over their head, it's a ball."

"Who says?"

"Whoever invented baseball."

"I think what she's trying to say," Blair suggested, "is that nobody out here's more powerful than the guy calling the outs."

"Exactly! So if you just tweak the odds just a_ tiny_ bit so that they're in our favor, we could actually have a _chance _of winning."

"It doesn't have to be _obvious_." Blair pointed out.

"It's a good deed!" Lacey smiled.

"It'll put you on our good sides!"

"Put that lazy ass to good use!

"And if you don't we'll sic an angry Tanya on you." Blair added on as if to prove her point.

"Well, when you put it _that_ way…"

* * *

"Strike three!"

"What?!"

"Strike three. You're out."

"That was over my head!"

"Not from this angle it wasn't."

Aaron glared as he walked off of the field, handing Jake the bat. "This ump is so cheap."

"That was definitely over your head." Joe Freeman nodded from his spot leaning against the backstop.

"Strike!"

"That was a foul!" Jake argued.

"I didn't see the bat touch it."

"The ball went flying up and over the backstop. Unless it was defying the laws of physics, it touched the bat."

"You didn't know baseballs were magical?" Joe Howlett questioned.

"But I-"

_Zoom!_

"Strike two!"

"What?!"

"Look here, Jakey." Lacey said, holding up her glove to the nature lover. "The ball flew from Blair's hand. The ball went swoosh. You didn't swing at the ball. The ball's in my glove. Joe called a strike."

"I know. I'm not a caveman." Jake sneered. "I just wasn't even looking!"

"You should always be aware!" Blair said.

"I believe him!" Jayna shouted from the bench.

"Shut up Jayna!" Blair shouted back.

"See?" Jake pointed out. "Even she saw-"

_Whoosh!_

"Strike three!"

"What?!"

"Strike. Three."

"Ugh." Jake threw the bat down. "You people are cheating!"

"Hey, watch that bat!" Lacey jumped back. "Didn't you see what happened to Jayna?"

"Ugh…" Jake marched off of the field as Joe Freeman stepped on. The comic artist picked up the bat from the ground and stood level with the plate. Blair just gave him a look. She thought he was pathetic.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "I'm looking at this guy, and all I can think of is that if he steps in front of the ball, he's a goner!" the tomboy pauses for a moment and then shrugs. "But, that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on him."

Russell: "I think all of us out on the field were thinking the same thing: Blair is probably going to knock him out!" he hangs his head. "Poor Joe. I wish I got to know him. He seemed like a cool dude."

Joe Freeman: "Hey, I might not be the strongest guy here or the smartest, but at least I try! I think perseverance would probably win me most likely to succeed or something!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Here," Blair said. "I'll throw you one the same speed I threw that Frisbee, okay?"

Joe didn't respond, just rose his bat into position. Blair pitched him a ball and he swung with all his strength. A telltale crack informed everybody that the ball and the bat had made contact.

The baseball flew up and out over the outfield, going past the boundary lines until landing… in the woods.

"Um… home run?" Joe Howlett said tentatively.

Joe Freeman's face lit up at that. "YES!!!" He started to victory dance around the bases.

"Hey!" Tanya shrieked at him when he reached first base. "That was the only ball we had, stupid!"

Joe was blissfully unaware of her as he danced on to second.

"She's right, you know." Kit-Kat said from the bench, now speaking because of the fact that the baseball wasn't near her. "The ball's gone."

Joe moon-walked to third, earning a high five from Russell as he slid past shortstop.

"Well, since we don't have a ball, I'm taking a shower." Tanya announced, marching off the field as Joe got played air guitar when reaching third.

Kyra waved her arms around towards Joe from behind the fence. "We-"

"Just let him finish his victory lap." Tom shut up Kyra. "He's not going to listen until he does."

After Joe finished doing the worm all the way down to home plate, he got to his feet and dusted himself off.

"So, what were you guys saying?"

"WE DON'T HAVE A BALL!"

Joe just shrank back under the glares of his teammates and competitors. "Um… it was a good hit though, right?"

_

* * *

_

SLAM!

The door to the Devious Deer cabin slammed open and Tanya walked out with a clean outfit and a towel in hand. Being the only person at camp was peaceful. Now she had a taste of what it'd feel like when she was the last person left on the island with the million dollars.

The drama queen marched her way down to the communal bathrooms, but stopped when she heard a rustling noise behind her.

"Who there?!" she shouted, turning around to face the direction that the noise came from. There was nobody there. Tanya just shrugged and turned around, starting to walk again. A stick cracked behind her.

"I can hear you!" she called out, looking over her shoulder. There was still nobody there. "Ew… all the sweat must be making me go crazy."

She opened up the bathroom door and looked around one more time to make sure nobody was in the bathroom. No signs of life whatsoever except for a spider on the wall. She opened up one of the shower doors and stepped inside, tightly locking it behind her.

As Tanya showered, she didn't hear somebody press themselves up against the outside wall of the bathroom and gently open the door, slipping inside. They stood there silently keeping watch.

The only thing that gave away their presence was when Tanya noticed their feet from underneath the door. She shrieked, quickly sprayed herself down with the showerhead, and turned off the water, throwing on as many items as clothing as she possibly could in a couple of seconds.

"Who's there?!" she called out, trying to peek over the top of the door. She was too short to see. "You heard me whoever you are! Why are you in here?"

No answer.

"I'm coming out there once I finish getting dressed! I'm warning you!" Tanya said, pulling her last article of clothing on. "I'm serious! I'm coming out there!" The pair of feet didn't move. "Okay, I warned you. On the count of three! 1… 2… 3…" No movement or sound. "Um, 7 then. 4… 5… 6…" The person standing there just crossed their legs at the ankles.

"Okay… 7!" Tanya burst open the shower door only to be face to face with somebody that she didn't know.

The person was, to Tanya's surprise, a tan woman with curly dirty blonde hair that was pulled back in a ponytail.

"Who are you and why are you standing outside of the shower while I'm in it?" Tanya questioned, completely creeped out.

"Maureen Roman." The lady replied. "Camerawoman and Certified Stalker. I'm here because you're alone and might need some careful watching."

Tanya's eyes bugged out of her head. "What?!"

"Maureen Roman, camerawoman and cer-"

"I heard that part, I mean the other part. The creepy part!"

"Oh. I'm a stalker. It's what we do."

"Well, go stalk somebody else!"

"They're not back yet. You're the only one here."

Tanya just glared at the woman for a moment before picking up everything she had left in the shower and stomping out of the bathroom. "I hate this show… I swear, if I don't win the million the producers will be receiving a long list of complaints."

* * *

"Why are you idiots here?" Chef Hatchet asked as the two teams filed into the Mess Hall at dinnertime. "It's your day off! I'm not supposed to see you 'til tomorrow!"

"Food." Aaron ordered, sitting down at the Tortoise table. "Now."

Chef just walked off into the kitchen, grumbling something about not getting enough respect.

The baseball game had been called off because the woods were blocked off by bright orange traffic cones, so they couldn't find their only baseball. The Tortoises had technically won, and they kept on telling the Deer that, but the Deer insisted that since the came was called off, nobody won.

Moments later, Chef Hatchet clunked a pot of yellow soup on the counter, a pinkish mist secreting from the pot. "Come and get it maggots!"

The first person to get their food was Jayna, who was allowed to go to the front since she was technically injured (which Kyra had said sorry about at least fifteen times). Chef dove his ladle deep into the soup and then poured it into Jayna's bowl. It leaked in thick and chunky, with objects sticking out of it.

"Are those potatoes?" Jayna questioned, pointing at a brownish object in the corner of her bowl.

Chef just shook his head. "Nope."

The environmentalist just sighed and walked back to her seat, hoping that the mystery substance wasn't some poor animal.

Once everybody got their food, they all sat down and waited for somebody to be the first guinea pig willing to test it out. As expected, the guinea pig was Aaron. The overeater took a spoonful of the soup and slurped it into his mouth, taking a chunk of the… um…"potato" with the liquid. Everybody watched as he chewed the chunk and then swallowed the mouthful. They waited for him to drop dead.

"It's good!" he exclaimed. Everybody gave him a doubtful look.

"Are you serious?" Russell questioned.

"Yeah, try it!"

Several people shrugged and tried it out, all agreeing with Aaron's observation. Even depressed Haley ate.

Chef Hatchet just watched them, smiling a gap toothed grin and staring at his watch.

At exactly 7: 49 PM, all of the campers collapsed to the ground asleep.

**

* * *

**

Ooh, cliffhanger! And you don't even know the challenge yet! Aw... too bad... (Yes, I am very cruel. Why do you ask?)

A future career I will not have: sports writer!

The vote was close, but it ended up being RILEY who went home. Joe F is safe!

The scene with stereo in the Deer cabin was completely necessary for something in a future chapter before you wonder why that was stuck in there. No, it wasn't just there for a boy band joke.

Okay, the completely necessary to read thing: For a future challenge, I am in need of a family member or close friend of your character. They can be whoever you choose as long as they are within 13-19 years of age and are somehow connected to your character. Your character doesn't necessarily have to like them or be able to tolerate them. You could send in their worst enemy or ex-girlfriend if you wanted to! I can't tell you exactly what I need them for... all I need to know is this:

Name (just a first name's fine):

Age (13-19):

Gender:

Connection to Character (examples: brother, close friend, cousin, step-sister, ex-boyfriend, crazy stalker)

Basic Appearance (just "blonde hair, blue eyes, tall" is fine with me):

Short Personality (just a list of adjectives is perfectly fine):

Does Your Character Like Them? (Hates, can tolerate, loves, and wants to kill them in their sleep are also options):

And... I think that's it!


	19. Ep6, Pt2: Through the Woods

**236= A really big number in my head. You can probably make a conclusion to what that means from there.**

**I'd explain to you why I was gone for so long in detail and apologize five million times, but it's 4:00 in the morning and I just finish a 27 page chapter and I need to sleep, so for a big long excuse as to why I haven't been here, go to my profile. It's right at the top.**

**Anyway, if your character still doesn't have a friend/family member/etc., you still have time. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check the last chapter.**

**If any of the scene transitions in the chapter seem awkward, it's because I have no Confessions to use to switch scenes. I hate just ending each scene and moving onto a new one, but… well, you'll see.**

**Disclaimer: Any evidence that says I own Total Drama Island or your OC's has been drugged by Chris and Chef and brought into the middle of the Woodlands of Vibrations, where the mole people received text messages from Minerva. Don't worry, you'll get it after you read the chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Over the River and Through the Woods**

_Ugh. Where am I? And why does my head hurt?_

Jayna picked her hands up and rubbed her eyes only to find that her hands were caked in something. She quickly opened her eyes to examine what it was.

Mud.

The environmentalist shot up from her position of lying on her back to figure out exactly where she was only to be shocked by the sight of tall leafy trees, a rising sun, and the fact that she was lying in a puddle of mud.

"What happened last night?" Jayna muttered to herself, getting to her feet and wiping her hands on her pants. As she did this, a songbird came fluttering in from the sky and landed on a tree branch beside her head. She looked up to see it watching her.

"Oh, hey there birdie." The bird cocked its head at her and let out a meek chirp. When seeing that it was a calm bird, Jayna offered her finger as a perch for it. The bird looked at her finger and then hopped onto it. "Okay… the bird's friendly." She observed. "Am I still on the island?"

As she spoke, more birds flew down and landed in the trees around her, all peacefully observing. A rabbit crawled out from a nearby bush. A deer walked by and stopped to graze right beside her. They were all just observing, none of them at all startled by her presence.

"Friendly animals…?" the environmentalist muttered to herself. "Nothing's friendly at Camp Wawanakwa…"

She looked around at the environment. Rays of sun started to shine through the bountiful green leaves of the tall trees around her, warming her face when they hit it. Bushes and flowers graced the ground beneath the trees, their colors ranging from a pastel blue to a fiery red to a healthy green.

There were no mosquitoes buzzing around her head, no cockroaches crawling up her legs, no life-threatening challenges.

Hmm… life-threatening challenges. That was when it hit Jayna: "Oh my god, I'm dead!"

"Who's dead?" a voice shouted towards her right. Jayna turned to look who was there and heard somebody maneuvering through the trees. A hand poked out from a bush, and then a leg, and then finally a head.

It was Jake.

Jake surveyed the area around Jayna and then gave her a joking smile. "Have you been taking lessons from the Disney princesses or something?"

"I didn't sing to the animals or anything if that's what you're trying to say."

"How long have you been awake?"

"Only a minute or two." Jayna said, watching as one of the birds fluttered over to peck at her feet. "What about you?"

"An hour or so." Jake answered. "I've been wandering around the woods and haven't found anybody else."

"They must still be alive."

Jake gave her a look. "Alive?"

"Oh yeah, since we're dead."

He considered that for a minute. "Well, that _would_ explain the animals…"

"Exactly." Jayna pointed out. "And there's _no way_ an area as… Disney movie-like as this could be on the island."

Jake thought about what she'd said for a minute. "I really don't think we're dead…"

"Then how do you explain the animals?"

"We're really far away from camp and everything out her is actually _nice_?" Jake suggested. Jayna just gave him a look.

"No," she said. "We're dead."

"Why?"

"Chef's cooking."

Jake opened his mouth to protest, but closed it. The odds of that happening were pretty high.

"Well, dead or alive, I'm getting out of this woods." He said. "Are you coming?"

"Sure."

* * *

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!!"

Blair groaned as a nervous voice shrieked and reached to grab her pillow and pull it over her head. It was probably Tanya or Haley or Addy finding a bug in their bed or something.

The tomboy groaned, however, when she couldn't find her pillow. She clawed out again to find the fluffy blue object, only to come up with something hard and jagged instead. She picked her face up off of what she _thought_ was her mattress and spotted what was in her hand.

"What the…?"

A rock. A big gray and brown speckled rock with a point at the top to be specific.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!!"

"Will you shut up already?" Blair snapped at whoever was speaking next to her, her vision too clouded with sleep to see who it was that was chanting. She was too busy trying to figure out why the hell there was a rock in her bed to be bothered by somebody whining.

"Blair?" the voice that she heard was not one of her cabin mates. In fact, the voice didn't even belong to one of her teammates. The tomboy brushed her dyed bangs from her face as she sat up, looking around to see exactly what was going on.

She was lying under a bush in the middle of the woods while that pastry chef from the other team sat in the dirt a couple feet away, panicking.

"Are you okay… um…" _What was her name again?_ Blair questioned to herself. _Reese's? Snickers?_

"Kit-Kat, and _no_ I am definitely not okay! We're in the middle of the forest!"

"Yeah," Blair said, picking some of the crust from her eye, "What else is new? We've been in the woods on a reality show for a couple of days now-"

"No, I mean we're seriously in the middle of the forest!" Kit-Kat gestured to the space around her, as the androgynous-appearing girl looked around.

"Huh." She remarked. "How'd we get here?"

The pastry chef and tomboy both thought back to last night, getting ready to have a flashback or something…

There was nothing.

"Am I the only one who can't remember anything?" Kit-Kat asked.

"Nope. I've got nothing."

"Drat." Kit-Kat snapped her finger. "Maybe we should try to find a way out of these woods."

Blair gave her a look. "_Me_? And _you_?" The blonde nodded. "Do you _really_ think that'd turn out well?"

"It's worth a shot, right?" Kit-Kat smiled.

Blair just gave her a bored look. Finally, she just blew out a stream of breath, puffing her bangs out of her eyes. "Fine."

* * *

"Wake up…"

"…"

"Wake up…"

"…"

"WAKE UP!"

"Hmm… mm?"

"WAKE! UP!"

"Aw, come on Mum! Just five more minutes!"

"No, not come on! _Now_! And I'm _definitely_ not your mother!"

Irving found himself jolted awake when he was submerged in a pool of water… ice cold, of course. The jock instantly opened his eyes and started to swim upwards. His head broke for air and he found land, crawling up onto the grass and shaking himself off.

"What the bloody hell was that for?!" he shouted to nobody in particular.

"Now maybe you'd wake up when somebody tells you to." a familiar voice said to him. Irving quickly wiped off his eyes and looked upwards towards the direction of the sound, only for his stomach to drop.

He was face to face with an angry Carrie.

Guess that "we'll see" was a no.

"Tell me why I woke up in the middle of a clearing in the woods with nobody else around besides _you_." Carrie ordered.

"I have no idea." Irving replied. "If you haven't noticed, I was just _rudely woken up_ a couple of seconds ago."

"You can't remember what happened at all?"

"Day off, baseball game, eating dinner, and then everything's a blur."

"Lovely…" Carrie groaned. This was not good. Out of all the people to be stuck out in the woods with, why did it have to be _that_… sorry, _him_. "This is probably just one of Chris's stupid challenges."

"Don't you think he'd _explain _the challenge first?" Irving questioned.

"No. I think he's just evil enough not to."

"Good point." Irving took of his shoe and dumped out a pile of mud, no doubt from landing in the river.

"There has to be a camera somewhere around here…" The designer walked a few steps to look around, only to be faced with a sickening _SPLAT_.

There was now something that looked mysteriously like animal waste on her boots.

"UGH!" Carrie screamed, birds flying out of the nearby trees. Irving just snickered behind her.

* * *

"Have I mentioned lately that I _hate_ this show?"

"Only every second for the past five minutes."

"I mean, look at these shoes! These are _Jimmy Choo_. All this mud will ruin them!"

"So?"

"Didn't you hear me? Jimmy. Choo!"

"They're just shoes. You can always replace them."

"Replace them?! Do you know how expensive these were? These are _practically_ one of a kind."

"'Practically' means that they aren't."

"Ugh! Forget it. You just don't understand!"

"Isn't that what I've been trying to tell you?"

Out of all people how had _Sienna _gotten stuck in the middle of the woods with _Lacey_? The queen bee had been whining for the past ten minutes that the pair had been walking through the woods about anything and everything. The nonconformist was considering the consequences of wedging poison ivy into her ears.

"Do you _know_ what could be in this dirt?!" Sienna squealed. "My shoes could be contaminated with… salmonella or something!"

"I wouldn't worry about that," Lacey said in a deadpan tone, rolling her eyes, "your voice will just scare the salmonella away."

"Hey, you're closer to the ground, so you can tell me if you see anything gross in the mud!"

"Mention my height again and I will personally shove your _heel _up your body's nearest cavity."

"I was just pointing something out." Sienna insisted. After a moment, she then added, "Are you even five feet tall?"

"I'm just vertically challenged, okay?!"

"Hey, no need to get bitchy." Sienna put up her hands in innocence. "Like I said, just making a point."

"Yeah, well keep your point to yourself." Lacey snapped, picking up her pace.

She'd have ditched Sienna by now if it wasn't for the fact that she could use her as a shield for any large carnivorous animals that might come her way.

* * *

A curious finger prodded the side of the body of a camper lying in the leaves. The finger's owner was crouched down beside the sleeping male, waiting for any reaction whatsoever to the jab.

"Helloooooooooo?" the crouching camper called in a sing-song voice. "Are you aliiiiiiiiiive?" Three pokes to the side. "Wake uuuuuup."

The camper lying on the ground shifted a little at the contact, but didn't seem to be any more awake than he had been.

"Helloooooooooo?" Seven pokes in a row, this time to the head. "Anybody in theeeeeeeeere?"

An unintelligible mumble came from the sleeping camper's mouth. The crouching camper just sighed.

"Baaaaaaaldyyyyyy…"

A hand reached up and grabbed the wrist of the prodder before they could poke him again.

"Nobody. Calls. Me. _Baldy_."

The crouching camper just giggled. "Good, you're awake. I was afraid I'd have to start throwing rocksje at you."

Joe Freeman's eyes opened up in confusion. It'd just kicked into his tired mind: why was _Addy_ waking him up?!

"Why…?" A quick look around told him that he wasn't in his cabin. "Where…?"

"I dunno." Addy shrugged, her ever present smile still not leaving her face. "I think this is a sign, though."

Joe raised an eyebrow, getting to his feet and stretching. "A sign?" Addy nodded rapidly. "Of what?"

"Well, we're obviously supposed to become one with the wild."

"Oh god…" Joe put his palm to his face and shook his head in disappointment.

"No, I'm serious. This could be a message from above or something!" Addy's arms flailed upwards as she spoke. "OMGG! I mean, how often do you just randomly wake up to find yourself in the middle of the woods?"

"I think maybe the fact that we're on a _reality show_ might have something to do with it-"

"No." Addy slung an arm around Joe's shoulders. "We were meant to rule the woodsje." The hyper girl held up a hand and waved it across the entire forest. "I shall be the Tarzan, and you shall be the Jane…"

Joe Freeman could only just groan. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Is it possible to survive on only squirrel meat?"

Glisa gave Aaron a worried look and a slight eye twitch. "Why…?"

"Because I'm _starving_!"

"I have a friend back home who used to shoot squirrels with a bb gun when we were younger." Tom told his teammates. "Apparently you can get fined for that."

"Okay, so squirrels are out." Aaron sulked as the three maneuvered around a fallen tree branch. After a minute, Aaron spoke again. "Are there any legal issues with birds?"

"You can't be dat hungry," Glisa said. "I'm pretty sure we fell asleep _after eating."_

"Because Chef obviously drugged us." Tom added.

"Isn't that illegal?" Aaron asked. "Because if they can drug us, then they won't mind me eating just _one _squirrel."

"You're not eating any squirrels while I'm here!" Glisa shrieked. _"¡Qué asco!"_

"Aaron, we'll be back to camp soon… I think." Tom tried to encourage his teammate, pushing past a branch. "Then you can eat whatever you-"

A rustle interrupted the conversation. The three exchanged a look.

"Was that-?"

Another sound of leaves rustling confirmed the suspicion. That sounded like footsteps. Tom, Glisa, and Aaron pushed through some trees, looking for the source of the sound. When seeing what it was, Aaron lit up in a smile.

"It's food!"

"Aaron, don't!"

It was too late. The overeater had already lunged at the deer standing before them.

* * *

The last thing that Russell remembered was falling asleep. He wasn't sure where and he wasn't sure when, but he sure as _hell_ knew it wasn't voluntary.

The first thing he heard when waking up was something along the lines of:

"AAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

_Crap._ Was he having another one of those Katie and Sadie nightmares again?

"Where am I?! What's going on?!"

_Maybe not._

"Why am I here?! What's that- RUSSELL!" Frantic footsteps rushed towards him until he heard somebody drop to their knees. "Russell! Russell! Russell!"

_That wasn't Katie and Sadie._

A pair of hands started to shake him back and forth.

"Russell! Russell! Russell! Russell! Russ-"

The comic book lover sat up from his position lying down and opened his eyes, only to be tackled in a hug.

"Kyra?" he questioned, his voice scratchy from sleep.

"Thanks goodness you're here! I was soooooo freaked out!" The childish girl had an iron grip around him and was practically shaking him back and forth as she spoke. "I don't know _what_ I would do if I was alone!"

"Kyra, could you… let go of me?" Russell attempted to get out through the tight grip and shaking.

An awkward beat of silence lingered in the air, Kyra giving him an innocent look.

"Oh. Right." She unwound her arms from her companion and got to her feet. "We have to get out of here!" Russell nodded in return, his face bright red in embarrassment.

A girl had just hugged him.

A girl he barely _knew_.

Hugged _him_!

Kyra turned around and looked to the brunette. "Right Russell?"

"Um… uh huh."

"Exactly what I was thinking!"

Wait… Kyra was just _talking_?

Before Russell could comment on how he didn't hear a thing Kyra had said, the random girl linked arms with him and started to yank him into the forest.

"C'mon!"

* * *

It was a gorgeous day back at Camp Wawanakwa. The birds were chirping. The sun was bright. The sky was blue.

No scent of disgusting food rose into the air from the Mess Hall.

No bullhorns were sounded to get the campers' butts out of bed.

Addy wasn't running around the cabin like an excited puppy because there was a butterfly outside.

Tanya rose from her bed with a straight back (eerily similar to how a vampire would) with a solemn expression.

Something was wrong.

The perfectionist grabbed a fuzzy bathrobe that was hanging from the bed above her and threw it on over her nightgown, stepping into a pair of slippers in the process.

That was weird. Blair hadn't stuck any gum to her robe this morning.

She walked across the cabin and opened the door, leaning outside to have a look around.

Nothing usual was happening.

There was no screaming from inside the bathrooms because of a Peeping Tom (who might actually be named Tom, depending on the day.) Russell wasn't tediously explaining something to Kestrel on the porch of the cabin. Jayna and Jake weren't watching some animal or another run around the camp. Sienna and Carrie weren't arguing outside of the showers. Irving's soccer ball wasn't flying through the air, only to hit Joe Freeman upside the head.

"Did I miss wake up call or something?" Tanya asked herself, tying up the strings on her robe before walking over to the boys' side of the cabin. She knocked on the door. "Russell? Joe? Kestrel?" On the last knock, the door squeaked open and she peeked inside.

Nobody was inside.

"Okay…" She walked across the space between the cabins just waiting for somebody to jump out at her.

Nothing.

She reached the guys' side of the Tortoise cabins and knocked on the door. "Um… Joe? Irving? Tom?" The door swung open. "Jake? Aaron?" She looked inside. "Morty?"

Nobody.

The same result happened with the other side of the cabin.

Tanya marched down to the Mess Hall, mildly freaked out but not willing to show it. She opened the door to the Mess Hall (considering it had no lock from the first day) and stepped inside.

"Chris? Chef?"

Tanya stood alone in the middle of the room.

"I'm alone…" she stated. "I'm alone in a summer camp… in the woods… on an island in the middle of the ocean…" She was silent for a minute, obviously registering this idea. "YES!!!"

In a totally out-of-character, spur of the moment red and orange blur, Tanya ran out of the Mess Hall until she was in the middle of the camp.

"I'm alone!" She squealed in excitement, doing a pirouette. "I'M ALONE!!!"

* * *

"This woods kind of looks like the Forest of the Slopindoks from the World of Najarr."

"I was kind of thinking the Ewoks from Star Wars."

"No, the Slopindoks are pretty much the Najarr equivalent of an Ewok."

"What's Najarr again?"

"A mythical world that lies just beyond your average storm drain."

"Oh. Of course…" Joe Howlett had to resist the urge to just turn around and walk away. Of all people to be stuck in the woods with, it had to be Kestrel.

Not somebody smart who could somehow create a GPS and get them back to camp.

Not somebody athletic who would climb to the top of the trees and look around until spotting some landscape.

Not some nature freak who thinks that they're in touch with nature and the trees will tell them the way… or maybe with an incredible sense of direction.

Not even a hot girl.

Instead he had clueless and innocent Kestrel, who was now attempting to pull a flower from the bush beside him.

"Hey," the artist called out to his teammate, a wide smile on his face. "Doesn't the center of this flower look like it's the same color as Addy's freckles?"

Joe just gave him a forced smile. "Yeah. Sure."

"I'm gonna grab a handful and take them back to camp, okay?"

"Whatever." He'd have tried to walk away right now if not for the fact that he wasn't sure if Kestrel would be able to get through the forest alone safely.

* * *

In some ways, Morty was in a pretty good situation.

For one thing, when he woke up in the middle of the woods he hadn't reacted as badly as you'd expect. Why? Well, there were two other people next to him.

Both of those people were females, by the way.

The two people Morty had ended up in the middle of the woods with were Haley and Daphne. Now, when you think about being in the middle of a forest, a girl who was raised to stay away from the sun and a suddenly depressed social butterfly might not be the companions you're looking for…

But for Morty, this was actually okay. He and Daphne got along decent enough. She was also smart, and pretty cooperative. Haley he didn't know at all… but she was nice to look at. And she had a nice personality when she wasn't moping about an absent ex-boyfriend.

Considering most of the Tremendous Tortoises saw the Deer as pretty useless people (maybe if they were on the same team, they'd be a little nicer to them), Morty figured that if he was going to walk through the woods with somebody who's semi-useless, why not have them be nice to look at?

Sinister sounding? Kind of. But when you're lost in the woods what you're thinking to yourself doesn't really matter, now does it?

"I hate the forest." Daphne said, ducking underneath a branch and interrupting Morty's inner reasoning.

"Me too." Haley agreed in a disheartening monotone.

"It's not _that_ bad." Morty attempted to convince the girls. They both gave him a sharp glare. "Well… it _could_ be worse."

"How?" Daphne asked.

"Um… we could be… chased by that bear that we ran into the first day! Or… we could be stuck in quicksand... chased by the Sasquatch, going down a waterfall…"

"You never know." Haley moaned. "It _could_ happen."

"Riley wasn't all that great of a guy, Haley." Daphne stated. "You don't have to act like you just had your heart ripped-"

"My heart _was_ ripped out!" Haley argued. "He lied to me! He was using me for my appearance and didn't actually _like_ me!"

"Yeah, and that's kind of expected of him." Daphne reasoned. "That's just his personality. Rude, brash, obnoxious, self-absorbed…"

"Just don't talk about him, okay?" Haley ordered, crossing her arms and jutting out her lower lip in a particularly childish manner. She started muttering something under her breath about it probably being Riley's fault they were in the middle of the woods anyway.

Morty and Daphne exchanged a glance, and Morty spun his finger in a circle next to his ear… the universal sign for crazy. Daphne nodded.

"I can still see you, you know!" Haley commented, stepping over a hole in the ground. "I'm not blind. Just completely-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WOO HOO!"

Haley was interrupted by a fairly large object swinging by her from a vine hanging down from a tree. The object had zoomed by so fast that nobody had gotten a good look at what it was, just a gust of wind and a faint ringing in their ears from the sound it was making.

* * *

"Addy, are you really sure this is a good idea?"

"No… but where's your fun side?"

"My fun side is back at camp waiting for me to go find it." Joe Freeman insisted, trying to shake away the tight grip Addy had on his arm. Somehow the hyper girl had dragged him up to the top of the tree, and she was currently testing the strength of a vine that was hanging from the branch just above them.

"Embrace your inner Tarzan," Addy encouraged, catching the end of the branch with her foot and twisting it so it wrapped loosely around her ankle.

"My inner Tarzan's back at camp with my fun side." Joe replied.

"Don't be such a party pooper, and COME ON!" Before Joe could react, Addy had grabbed him by the hood of his sweatshirt with one hand and the vine with the other, and then jumped. The pair went swinging at a rapid speed through the forest, Joe letting out a scared scream and Addy letting out a Tarzan-esque battle cry.

Branches rushed by them, leaves sometimes skimming their arms, and Joe Freeman was almost positive that they'd hit a tree (maybe he'd just seen George of the Jungle one too many times). He was attempting to grab at the vine for support considering he didn't fully trust Addy's grip, his legs flailing out behind him. Addy, on the other hand, had her legs wrapped around the vine, her one hand that wasn't holding Joe waved in the air like she was on a roller coaster.

"ISN'T THIS AWESOME?!" Addy shouted, her face an expression of utter joy.

"I THINK I JUST SWALLOWED A BUG!" Was all Joe could say before starting to scream again. They passed by a gathering of three objects and Joe stopped screaming only to look over his shoulder to see what the objects were.

"HEY!" he said, not being able to manage lowering his voice while hurtling through the air. "WASN'T THAT-?"

Joe couldn't finish his sentence. He and Addy had hit a tree, just as predicted.

* * *

"Hey Jayna?"

"Yeah?"

"You remember that bird that we'd taken the soda rings off of, right?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if I told you it was following us?"

Jayna stopped walking. "What?"

"Turn around." Jake said, his voice barely above a whisper. The environmentalist turned her body slowly and quietly, almost afraid of what was standing behind her.

Following Jake and Jayna were two deer, a family of rabbits, a skunk, a half a dozen squirrels, one frog, and that same cross-eyed bird that they had faced a couple nights earlier.

And they were all staring at them.

"Have they been following us the whole time?" Jayna whispered, a worried look on her face.

Jake nodded. "I think so."

"Why?"

"I have no idea…"

There was an awkward moment of silence as the animals stared down the two forest wanderers.

"How's about," Jayna's voice was just barely audible, "we run for it on three?"

"Forget three." Jake said, starting to back away slowly. "Just start to run when you're a safe distance away." Jayna followed his lead and the two continued to step back from the animals.

After a few steps, one of the deer cocked its head at the action and took a step forward. That was when the two nature lovers started to make a run for it.

They ran as fast as they good through the trees, hopping over a fallen log and making their way towards a clearing that was visible between the branches of a bush up ahead. When looking back, the animals had started to chase after them.

"What's _wrong _with these animals?!" Jake asked, pushing through the bushes in front of him.

One of the squirrels started to wildly chatter at them, inspiring the other five squirrels to do so also. Soon it sounded like they were running from a band of wild castanet players. The seagull kept stumbling, obviously being a little more off balance than it should be, but it was running just as quickly as the other animals in the bunch. Jake and Jayna could only keep running. These animals weren't running out of energy yet.

* * *

"Wait, so you _really_ get mistaken for a guy often?"

"Yep. Four out of my seven teachers back in my freshman year asked if my name was actually Blake."

"That _sucks_!"

"Tell me about it."

"I know if that ever happened to me, I'd definitely wear a dress to school everyday."

"Ugh. I'd never do that."

Kit-Kat looked up just as Blair shuddered.

"Is this some life-scarring experience you had as a kid?"

"Not exactly life-scarring, but definitely effective."

"Did your mother dress you up all the time or something?"

Blair nodded. "I just got sick of it after a while, so I started to rebel. My sister hates me because of it."

"I'm sure your sister doesn't _hate_ you…"

"Scoffs me, then. Taunts as much as she can. Tells her friends I like girls when I don't. Take your pick."

"Ew."

"Yeah."

Kit-Kat gave Blair a sympathetic look. "How's about next time I make some cookies, I'll give you some?"

"Kit-Kat, I don't need your sympathy-"

"They're not sympathy cookies," Kit-Kat insisted. "They're… um… celebratory cookies. To celebrate us escaping these woods today."

Blair gave the pastry chef a smile. "You know, I think I'd like that."

* * *

"I can't stand this bloody forest! This must be the eighteenth mud puddle!"

"I'll give you my shoes if you want."

"No, I'm perfectly fine. I don't think I'd want to touch anything that's been on your feet."

"Hey, what exactly is your problem? I thought we were on good terms ever since I returned your-"

"We were on _mild_ terms, Irving, and even if we _were_ on good terms, that doesn't apply when we're in the middle of a forest."

Carrie yanked her foot from a mud puddle and continued to trudge through the forest, her boots caked with several natural substances. Irving followed, deciding that following an angry fashion designer would be a lot better than navigating the woods alone.

Plus, he couldn't help but catch an occasional glance at her backside as she walked.

What? He _is_ a teenage guy after all.

"Do you have any idea where you're going?" Irving asked as they wandered mindlessly through the trees that all looked _exactly the same._

"I'm just following the river." Carrie stated, motioning with her right hand towards the river to her right. "It eventually has to lead us somewhere, right?"

"I guess." Irving nodded, ignoring the fact that he hadn't even considered following the river. He watched the water for a moment, not really paying attention to where he was going, until running smack into Carrie, who had stopped when he wasn't looking.

"Pay attention to where you're going." Carrie ordered, stepping away from Irving.

"Why did you stop?" he asked. Carrie crouched down and plucked something out of the mud in front of her, handing it over to her athletic companion with an odd smile. Irving laughed at the sight of it.

It was the baseball from yesterday's baseball game.

* * *

"Ick. I hate mud."

"Don't we all?"

"And I hate forests."

"Ditto."

"And trees."

"Yep."

"And- oh my god, is that a snake?!" Sienna shrieked, subconsciously grabbing her reluctant traveling companion in fear.

"What?!" Lacey screeched, looking around frantically and ignoring the fact that Sienna had grabbed her. "Where?!"

"Over there!" Sienna jerked out her finger. "Hanging from that tree!"

Lacey look in the direction that Sienna was pointing nervously, but sighed when seeing the "snake". "It's just a vine."

"Really?"

"Really." They stood in silence before Lacey realized that Sienna was still stuck to her in fear. "Would you get off of me?"

"Right! Sorry." Sienna jumped away in embarrassment as the purple-streaked brunette started to walk in the direction of the vine. The queen bee followed.

"That's odd." Lacey commented, putting a hand on her hip.

"What?"

"This tree has a really weird dent in it." She extended a pale hand to point at the tree beside the one with the vine hanging from it. In the tree bark was an indentation of what looked like two people who'd hit the tree, one with their hand pointed straight up in a "rock on" sign, the looked like it was splattered onto the tree spread eagled.

"What do you think could've done _that_?"

"I don't know, but one of them has really bad taste in shoes." Sienna lifted up a pair of cobalt blue combat boots from in the dirt. Once she raised them high enough, her nose scrunched up and threw them as far as they could go. "Ugh! Who has shoes that smell like powdered sugar and licorice?!"

"Addy." Lacey replied. "Every night somebody moves them outside of the cabin."

"Wait… Addy?" Sienna repeated. "That means that there're other people out here! This is just another stupid challenge!"

"I kind of thought that was obvious…"

"Now I have proof!" Sienna looked up into the trees. "Chris! If you're filming this, I know your trick! I know it's a challenge-"

"Sienna…"

"-and when I get my hands on you I will wring your neck with my perfectly manicured-"

"Sienna…"

"Shut up, Lacey! As I was saying, I will wring your neck! Do you know how much these shoes cost?! Do you know-?"

"Sienna!"

"Didn't I just say to shut u-"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

Sienna frowned. "Was that your stomach?"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

"You're really that hungry?"

"Um… Sienna…"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

"… That's not my stomach."

Sienna paled and slowly looked over her shoulder.

The beady black eyes of the bear looked back. The creature had a footprint on its face and one of Addy's boots in his mouth.

"Oh… hey…" Sienna gave the bear a feeble wave. "I didn't throw that if that's what you're trying to imply…"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

Sienna laughed nervously, looking for some way around the bear. Behind the bear, Lacey was frantically waving her arms in opposite direction, mouthing 'Get out of there! Get out of there!'

"How?!" Sienna squeaked, the bear stepping closer and sniffing her shirt.

"Um…" Lacey frantically looked around until grabbing the vine that Sienna had thought was a snake. "Hey Pooh! Look over here!" The bear's upper lip lifted at being called Pooh and it turned around, only for Lacey to use the vine to whip it in the side.

The bear jumped and turned all the way around, growling at Lacey as it did so. Sienna took this opportunity to start running.

"Hey!" Lacey shouted, running after her. "You're supposed to wait up!"

"Every girl for themselves!"

"_GROOOOWL!"_

The bear ran after them.

* * *

"So then he looks at me like I'm crazy, and asks if I've been hit on the head one too many times. Of course, I said no, since I hadn't, but he just gave me this look and checked my head for a bump…"

Russell had been reduced to counting his footsteps to keep himself walking with Kyra. She was babbling about her so called "bestest best friend", a guy named Toyohashi or Tamara or Toyota or something like that. Her story (like any of her stories) was taking fifteen minutes to finish. Every once in a while she'd look over her shoulder at him and he'd nod and pretend to listen.

He didn't mean to be rude, but honestly Kyra could get a bit… okay, _more_ than a bit annoying. Especially if she was the only one around. There was no way he'd ditch her (for a number of reasons, the most prominent being Kyra + a forest – any company = DISASTER), but it was so hard to stay with her at the same time. Blocking her out was getting harder and harder because she just kept talking more and more and more!

"So then I stuck my tongue out at him and said 'Takashi, you're such a dork!' and walked back down the hall. And he said-"

"Hey Kyra," Russell interrupted. "How's about we play a game?"

Kyra's face lit up. "What kind of game?"

"Um… an animal guessing game." Russell replied, thinking of a game that he and his sister used to play during long car rides when they were younger. "I'll think of an animal, and you'll ask me questions about it. But they have to be yes or no questions, okay?"

Kyra smiled in response. "Okay! You got an animal?" Russell nodded. "Does it have two legs?"

"Nope."

"Four legs?"

"Yep."

"Is it scary?"

"Nope."

"Does it think _we're_ scary?"

"Probably."

"Probably isn't an answer!"

"Yes, then."

"Does it make noise?"

"No."

"Does it have a tail?"

"Yes."

"Hmm…" Kyra pursed her lips in thought. "Is it a-"

"DEER!!!"

A random shout startled Kyra as a deer burst through a bush to the left and ran across Kyra and Russell's path, entering the foliage to their right. A minute later, Aaron came running after it along the same path.

"AARON!!!"

Following Aaron were Glisa and Tom, both screaming his name at the top of their lungs. They too came from one bush and ran through another taking no notice to Russell and Kyra as they passed.

Once the odd group had passed all the way past them, Russell and Kyra could only stand in an awkward, confused silence.

"What just happened?" Kyra asked.

"I don't know, but you're going to have to think of an animal now."

"Why? I never guessed yours!"

"Nope, but _they_ did. It was a deer."

* * *

"Hmmm… is there anything actually _edible_ in here?" Tanya sat on the ground in Chef Hatchet's kitchen pulling cans from the cabinet in front of her. She picked one can up and read the label. "Blech!" Over her shoulder it went, hitting the wall behind her and rolling across the floor just as the last twelve had.

"Ugh! This entire cabinet is useless!" the drama queen got off of the floor and dusted herself off, sneering in disgust at the dirt on her legs. Desperate for food, she looked around for another cabinet to go through until spotting the cabinet above her. She stood on her tiptoes in an attempt to reach the handle, only to come short.

She even took the risk of embarrassing herself by hopping to attempt to grab the handle.

Only to still be too damn short.

Cursing under her breath, Tanya hiked a leg up on the counter in front of her and crawled onto its surface. Once she got her balance, she turned towards the cabinet and reached up to see what was inside.

Slimy tomato soup… moldy bread… moldy tomato soup with a slimy piece of bread sticking out of the can…

Nothing on that shelf. But what about the one above it?

Tanya stood up on the counter, but instantly lost her balance and started to fall backwards. She reached out to grab the cabinet for support, but her arms just flailed around helplessly as she started to fall towards the ground. She clenched her eyes shut when she was about to hit…

Only to be caught.

"What the hell?" Tanya asked herself, opening her eyes again. She shrieked.

Staring down at her was Maureen. She'd caught her.

"Hey there," the camerawoman/professional stalker smiled. "What were you doing up there? You could've gotten your pretty little face hurt!"

"Let go of me you freaking creep!" Tanya said, pushing her away. She fell to the ground without Maureen supporting her, hitting it with an embarrassing thump.

"You need some help?" Maureen questioned.

"Not from a lesbian stalker bitch like you." Tanya retorted.

"Ooh, touchy."

"Please don't say the word 'touch' in my presence." The drama queen said, getting back to her feet.

"Why not?"

"It gets me worried that you'll put your slimy hands somewhere on me."

"They're not slimy." Maureen insisted. "I wash them everyday."

"I'm sure you have some other innocent girl lick them clean." Tanya started to walk out of the room, only for Maureen to follow. The camerawoman walked way too close to her, practically hovering over her shoulder as she pushed her way through the kitchen door back into the Mess Hall.

"Aren't you wondering where everybody is?" Maureen asked.

"Nope. I don't want nor do I need them here." Tanya said, picking up the pace. Maureen adjusted just as she did. "Will you stop breathing down my neck?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"I like it."

"Freaky lesbian stalker bitch."

"I'm not freaky."

"Fine then. _Pedophile_ lesbian stalker bitch."

"_That's_ more like it."

At that, Tanya ran.

* * *

"Riley was _not_ a douche bag!"

Daphne smiled at that. "Hey, I never said he was one. I said he was a jerk. That was all your own opinion."

Haley turned red in embarrassment. "Yeah… well… you implied it!"

"But I'd never _said_ it."

"Well-"

"Who really _cares_ what Riley was?" Morty interrupted the two girls' argument. "He isn't here anymore, so you don't need to think about him…"

"But-"

"Let me finish." Morty said to Haley. "As I was saying, even if he was here, he wouldn't matter because he was afraid of Daphne and you had broken up with him, Haley. Really, nobody should be talking about him right now with such a horrible parting gift he had left us."

"Parting gift?" Haley asked her face hopeful. "He left a gift?!"

"Yes." Daphne said in a rude tone, "It was everybody's favorite hand gesture."

Haley gave Daphne a confused look. "Everybody's favorite…?"

"The middle finger." Morty clarified. Haley's expression dropped. "Yeah."

"How's about we do this the old fashioned way," Daphne suggested. "The next person to mention Riley gets left behind. Even if it's me."

Morty nodded. "I'll agree to that."

Haley frowned. "That's not fair to _me_!"

"But it does make sense, right?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "Fine…"

"Good," Morty nodded. "Now that that's straightened out, how's about we get out of these woods? Doesn't a nice warm shower sound nice right now? You can only get those at camp…" Morty's encouragement was really coming from his memory of Glisa in the towel, though he wouldn't mention it for the moment's sake.

"The shower's never cold because Tanya's always in there." Haley stated.

"Tom peeps." Daphne pointed out.

"Not on you!" Haley argued.

"True, but it's the fact that I'm in the same room that counts."

"Okay…" Morty thought up something else. "Then how's about a nice nap in your own beds?"

"Kyra sings in her sleep."

"My mattress has a hole in it."

"What about… um… relaxing on the beach?"

"How often do we _really_ go to the beach?"

"Sand and my bikini bottom don't mix."

"What about the… good quality Wawanakwa cooking?"

Silence.

"Okay, maybe that was too far of an exaggeration." Morty muttered. "Um… what about seeing all of your friends?"

"Chances are they're stuck in the woods too." Daphne pointed out.

"My friends all kind of abandoned me once I started whining about Riley…" Haley covered her mouth as soon as she said his name, but it was too late.

Morty and Daphne had walked away.

She was all alone.

* * *

"You know, forget the Slopindoks, this looks more like the Woodland of Vibrations."

"Is that some kind of a porn site or something?"

"No. Why would you ever think that?"

"Just… forget it, I'm not explaining it. Go on with your forest story."

Kestrel and Joe Howlett didn't seem to make much progress searching through the woods. They were walking along the side of the river and so far hadn't encountered any signs of civilization. Kestrel kept making some outlandish comments about fantasy realms while occasionally fiddling with the flowers that he'd put in his pocket for Addy. Joe just trudged on, intermittently kicking clumps of dirt into the river with the toe of his shoe.

"Okay, so the Woodland of Vibrations," Kestrel moved his hands and wiggled his fingers whenever he said the name, "The Woodland was said to have had a curse put on it by an evil witch named Minerva. The inhabitants of the Woodland of Vibrations," insert hand wiggle here, "had ticked her off, so she had to get her revenge. Ever since that day, the Woodland of Vibrations," Finger wiggles and a bored yawn from Joe, "has had several earthquakes a day, though these are not normal earthquakes."

"What kind of earthquakes are they?" Joe asked in a monotone.

"These earthquakes, my friend," Kestrel leaned in towards Joe Howlett and lowered his voice as if telling him a secret, "are not caused by the earth."

"Then why are they called _earth_quakes?" Joe asked.

"That's not the point. The point is that the earthquakes are not caused by the earth… but by the secret species of underground mole people."

"…Mole people?"

"Living right here under our feet," Kestrel looked down to the ground and then made eye contact with Joe again. "These mole people have been living here for _centuries _just waiting for Minerva to send them text messages."

"Wait, what?"

"Text messages. The mole people always keep their cell phones on vibrate, so whenever the evil witch texts them the ground vibrates. That's where the earthquakes come from, and that's why it's called the Woodland of Vibrations."

As Kestrel wiggled his fingers, Joe Howlett gave him a befuddled look.

"Dude, do you come up with this stuff on your _own_ or what?" he asked. "'cause if those are your own ideas, you could definitely get a sweet movie deal-"

"Shh! Do you hear that?!" Kestrel cupped his hand to his ear and listened with a focused expression on his face. "Don't you hear that faint buzzing?"

Joe shut up for a minute.

"Hey, I actually kind of do." There was a weak buzzing noise filling the air that was quickly getting stronger. "What is that?"

"The mole people." Kestrel whispered.

"No, seriously."

"I'm being serious. It's the mole people! Minerva's sending them texts!"

"No!" Joe had to shout to get his voice over the buzzing. "It sounds kind of like a swarm of…" His voice got lost in the buzzing.

"WHAT?!" Kestrel shouted. Joe repeated himself, but the artist still couldn't hear. "A SWARM OF WHAT?!" Joe repeated himself again, but was still overwhelmed by the buzzing. "TREES?! FLEAS?! KEYS?!"

"BEES!!!" At that shout, Joe H pointed behind Kestrel where a swarm of bees was flying at rapid speed towards them. The movie geek and artist started to run as fast as they could, suddenly _wishing_ the mole people had caused the buzzing.

* * *

"No, no, no, no, _no!_ I _refuse_ to do that again!"

"Oh come on! Have some fun!"

"Fun?! This is life threateningly dangerous!" Addy had slung Joe Freeman over her shoulder and was climbing a tree. How had she gotten him over her shoulder in the first place?

That you do not have to know to follow what little of a plot there is.

Once they got to the top of the tree, Addy grabbed a vine (amazing how many vines there are in a forest… not a jungle, a forest) and swung her bare foot around it. She had shed her shoes back when they'd hit the first tree because she thought they were "binding human materials that Ad-Zan does not need to survive in the wild".

"Are you ready for this, Joe?" Addy asked her companion. Joe seemed to be literally praying for his life. "I'll take that as a yes." She stepped back on the branch she was standing on and then started to run at full speed towards the open air. "Ad-Zan away!"

She used both hands to grab the vine, not realizing she'd released Joe in the process.

* * *

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Do-

"Could you stop doing that?"

Up.

Down.

"Stop that _now_."

"Why? Does it bother you?"

"Yes."

"What's the magic word?"

Carrie rolled her eyes. "_Please_ stop doing that."

Irving caught the baseball one last time. "That's better."

Spending time with somebody that you really didn't know or like was not fun, especially if they were a jock with a baseball or a fashion designer with muddy clothing. That not so fun time was also made even worse by the fact that they were still walking along the river and _still_ hadn't gotten anywhere.

"Why are you being such a pain?" Carrie asked.

"_You_'re the one being a pain."

"What did _I_ do?"

"You're still making a big deal about your shoes!"

"I haven't said _anything_ about my shoes!"

"What about five minutes ago, when you complained that your feet wouldn't be hurting from all the walking if you'd had your boots all week?" Irving asked. Carrie didn't answer. "Ha!"

"You're still a bigger pain." The designer retorted back.

"How?"

"You're acting like a little kid with all your baseball throwing and your pointless arguing and magic word saying!"

"I am _not_!" Irving stomped his foot on the ground at that, which again reduced Carrie to silence.

Until she cracked up laughing.

"What?" Irving asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"You just... oh my gosh, you just…" Carrie couldn't finish her sentence but instead clutched her sides in laughter.

"What?" Irving asked.

"You… you just stamped your foot like a little kid!"

This time it was Irving who couldn't think of an answer. All he did was walk past her and give her a light shove, intending to keep walking through the woods with or without her. Apparently the shove wasn't so light, because Carrie lost her balance and fell…

Right into the river beside her. Every part of her from her head to toe went under, leaving Irving shocked but laughing.

He just stood there beside the river laughing for a minute until realizing Carrie hadn't come back up for air yet.

"Carrie?" He leaned over to look into the water. "Um… Carrie? You can come up now." The water showed no signs of life. Not even a bubble. "Come on... Carrie? You can stop kidding around now…" No reactions.

Crap.

"You know, I pushed you in on an accident." Irving said, thinking maybe she'd come up if he pointed that out. She had to come up. He couldn't have accidentally drowned somebody! "Carrie? It was a mistake. An accident. I thought I'd just kind of run into you…" The only movements coming from the surface of the water were two splashes of water running into each other. "Carrie?"

_Please don't be dead, please don't be dead,_ Irving chanted in his head. _Please, please, please! I won't have anybody's life on my hands! This isn't my fault! I didn't accidentally drown somebody! She can swim… right?_

Suddenly, a muddy hand burst from the river and snatched onto Irving's ankle. Another one did the same with his opposite foot and then they both yanked, sending him falling into the river without time to even shout.

When he came up for air, he saw a glaring and soaked Carrie bobbing above the surface, being carried downstream by the current just as he was.

Irving sneered. "You gormless little muppet!" **(1)**

"You deserve it for pushing me in the first place!" She argued.

"It was an _accident_."

"Sure it was. And so was me pulling you in."

"Well you know what I have to say to that?"

"Is it another stupid insult?"

"Better." Irving dove under the rushing water, leaving Carrie to wonder what he was doing. He came back up with a handful of mud from the bottom of the stream and chucked it at her. She shrieked and tried to dodge it, but the current wouldn't let her move against it and it hit her in the forehead. Mud soaked down her face, seeping around her eyes and down her cheeks.

"You prat!" **(2) **Carrie shouted, diving under the water to wash the mud from her face. When she came back up, her mouth was full of water. She spit it all at Irving, who was completely unsuspecting of what she was doing.

"That's disgusting!" Irving shouted, attempting to shake the water off of him. "I don't want your spit all over me!"

"Oops," Carrie said in a mocking tone. "It was an accident."

"And you think _I'm_ immature?" Irving yelled, not realizing how much louder the rushing water had gotten.

"Hey, you started it!" she screamed back, her voice just making it over the sound of the current.

"How did I start it?!"

"YOU THREW MUD AT ME!"

"YOU PULLED ME INTO THE WATER!"

"YOU PUSHED ME IN!"

"YOU-"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

Huh. Guess they forgot about the waterfall.

* * *

"Does it have a tail?"

"Yes!"

"Is the tail long?"

"Yes!"

"Is it a horse?"

"Yes!"

Kyra and Russell were bored to say the least. After their little run in with Aaron, Tom, and Glisa, they hadn't seen any signs of life, not even an animal! Weren't they in the middle of a forest? Shouldn't there _at least_ be a squirrel or something.

"You know," Russell said, "I'm so hungry now, I could probably _eat_ a horse."

Kyra's eyes bugged out. "Not the horsie!"

"It's a figure of speech."

"Oh. Well, when you put it that way I guess I'm hungry enough for a horse to eat me too."

"How long do you think we've been out here?"

Kyra thought for a moment. "Um… four months."

Russell just gave her a slight smile. She was so naïve he knew if he laughed she wouldn't get it.

"Hey Russell?" Kyra asked.

"Yeah?"

"Am I so hungry right now that I'm seeing things, or do you see that too?"

"See what?" Kyra pointed out in the distance to where a strange person hung from a tree from something thin. The person was flailing around and pumping their fist in the air, their mouth visibly open and a scream being heard from where the comic lover and childish girl stood.

"No, I see it too." Russell commented. "Is that… a person?"

"I think so," Kyra looked at the person for a moment, until realizing that they were getting… bigger. "Hey, are they coming closer?"

"I think so."

"But… they'll be smart enough to not hit us, right?"

"I'm sure they will." Russell nodded. "I'm pretty sure most people have at least a _little _common sense on this show."

"Can you tell who it is?"

"I'm not really sure..."

"Hey, isn't that the hyper kid who's on your team? What's their name… crud, um…"

"Which one? The neat freak, the artist, or the sugar high one?"

"The sugar high one who I fought with on the cliff on the first day!"

"Oh, that's-"

_SWOOSH!_ Both Russell and Kyra were plucked from the ground by the backs of their shirts by the person on the vine, who'd managed to come close enough to grab them on their way by. The shy guy and random girl both looked around for something to grab onto until finding the vine. Once they seemed to have a hold on it, the grip on the back of their necks disappeared.

"Congratulations!" Their captor said in a musical tone. "You're about to become one with the wild on the Ad-Zan Express!"

* * *

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Are they gone yet?"

Jake took the risk of looking down. A group of animals sat huddled in a circle around the tree that he was in, all looking up hungrily. "Nope."

"We're doomed."

Jayna and Jake sat huddled together on a tree branch in the middle of the forest. They hadn't lost any of the animals on their mad dash through the forest, and may have even _gained_ a couple of squirrels and deer on their tail. They'd been stuck in the tree for around a half an hour now, constantly having to shoe away the ravenous squirrels that came climbing up towards them. The animals seemed to have figured out that if they waited at the bottom of the tree for them, they would have to come down eventually.

"Jayna?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you still think you're dead?"

"If I am, I'm in Hell since all of the animals turned on me." Jayna said. "When you really think about it, why else would they be chasing us?"

"Chris might've hired carnivorous animals." Jake suggested. "Didn't he say the sharks were on contract?"

"I guess it's possible..." They sat in silence for a moment, the only sound being one of the animals whining.

"Hey Jayna?" Jake spoke up.

"Huh?"

"If it's any consolation, out of all the people on the island you're the one I'd like to be stuck in a tree with."

Jayna smiled. "Aw, that's sweet." One of the animals growled at her from down below. "I'd want to be stuck in a tree with you any day if there weren't hungry animals circling us."

They both pulled a little closer to each other just as the raccoon started to climb up the tree trunk.

* * *

Blair and Kit-Kat knew they weren't lost… or at least they weren't alone. There were footprints in the dirt around them, which meant somebody had to be out here. Compared to the other groups walking through the woods, they were actually doing well. There were any wild animals, Ad-Zans, or waterfalls bugging them and they actually got along pretty well.

Unfortunately, they really had nothing in common which led to having absolutely nothing to talk about.

Kit-Kat swore she would fall asleep standing up. Blair was nice and all, but this was _so boring_. Really, what _could_ she talk about?

"So, um…" the pastry chef attempted to break the silence. "Are there any… um… boys you're interested in here?"

Crap, Kit-Kat that was _not_ the right conversation starter.

"Oh, I mean, unless you have a boyfriend or something?"

"Nope, no boyfriend here." Blair answered. "And if that wasn't the most awkward silence breaker, I don't know what is."

"What about if I asked you if you'd swiped your V-card before?" Kit-Kat asked with a smile. Blair laughed.

"Ha. I guess you're right."

"Or what about if you'd ever considered a career in dermatology?"

"Or if you knew how to treat oral fungi?"

"Or if you knew how to remove a boil?"

"From your lower back." Kit-Kat laughed at Blair's addition.

"Or what about-"

"DEER!!!"

"What?"

"AARON!!!"

"DEER!!!"

_Slam! Slam!_

Blair and Kit-Kat were both plowed into by what felt like a train. It turned out to be Aaron running at his top speed. Both girls grabbed onto what they could to keep from flying off of him at the same speed they were hit. For Blair it was his shirt, and for Kit-Kat his neck.

"Aaron?" the pastry chef asked. "What are you running after?"

"Deer…" Aaron panted. "I have… to… catch… that… deer!"

"Aaron!" shouted Glisa from behind him. "Stop!" Aaron didn't seem to be listening, still running at his top speed.

"Aaron, there's a guy on your back!" Tom shouted.

"Hey stupid, I'm a girl!" Blair yelled back.

"Okay then, Aaron there's a _girl_ on your back!" Tom corrected himself.

"That's better!" Blair turned back to Aaron. "Now would you mind stopping?"

"Must… catch… deer!" The biker said in a robotic voice.

"_¡Chicas_!" Glisa shouted to Kit-Kat and Blair. "Can't you do somet'ing to stop him?"

"Um… oh! I know!" In a desperate movement, Kit-Kat moved one of her arms from Aaron's neck to over his eyes. Instead of stopping like she thought he would, though, he kept running.

"Hey doofus, you're not even running in the same direction as the deer anymore." Blair commented to Aaron.

"Deer! Must! Catch!"

"Um, Aaron." Kit-Kat said, keeping her arm over his eyes to support herself from falling since it was a better gripping point. "She's right."

"Deer! Deer! Deer!"

"Aaron! Stop!" Tom called.

"Wait up!" Glisa shrieked.

Aaron kept running, though, still under the impression that the deer was in front of him. What was actually in front of him was the end of one of Camp Wawanakwa's many cliffs, and he was heading full speed towards it.

"'Aaron!" Blair shouted in his ear. "You have to stop!"

"Deer! Deer!"

"Aaron, please!" Kit-Kat pleaded.

"Must! Eat! Deer!"

"Aaron you lummox, we'll die if you don't stop!"

"Deer! Deer! Deer!"

"Aaron, I'll give you a brownie if you stop."

The brownie must've triggered some reaction in Aaron's brain because that was when he stopped sharp. Kit-Kat and Blair let out relieved sighs. They were right on the edge of the cliff, but they hadn't gone over it. Aaron panted, trying to catch his breath.

"I have never run so long and so fast in my _life_!" he exclaimed. "Thanks for stopping me!"

"AARON!!! STOP!" Still running at full speed and not realizing Aaron had stopped, Tom and Glisa slammed right into his back. This was enough pressure to send the overeater teetering over the edge before the five campers fell off of the cliff, screaming along the way.

* * *

"Is the bear gone?"

"I don't know. Why don't you go check?"

Lacey and Sienna were sitting in a cave hiding from the bear that'd chased them there. Apparently bears didn't appreciate boots to the head.

"Hell no." Lacey replied to Sienna's request. "Why don't _you_ go out there?"

"Do you _really_ want this perfect body to be scarred?" Sienna asked. "Wouldn't you rather risk your pale, less than gorgeous one?"

Lacey sighed, but poked her head out the entrance of the cave. The bear was walking by the cave, looking around for them. As soon as he started to turn in her direction, she pulled her head back in.

"He's still there."

"Good. I have a plan." Sienna smiled. "Now, you're going to take a rock and chuck it at the bear, shouting something to it. Once the bear sees you, you'll run as far away from the cave as possible."

"Okay, then what?"

"Then I get out of the cave and go back to camp, where I'll claim my million dollars."

Lacey frowned. "What about me?"

Sienna looked confused. "What _about _you?"

"What happens to me after you get back to camp?"

The queen bee waved her hand nonchalantly. "Oh who _cares_? I'll just tell Chris you died and I'll leave with my million dollars and get a sexy actor boyfriend."

Lacey glared at Sienna. "Why are you such a bitch?"

The other girl looked offended. "I am _not_!"

"Then what else do you call somebody who's rude, obnoxious, self-absorbed, and determined to destroy everybody's life for no apparent reason?"

"A girl who's in it to win it." Sienna crossed her arms triumphantly.

"No, I'd call that a bitch."

"You know, if I'm such a bitch, then what're you? A spaz? A little girl with no friends so she pretends that she's so rebellious just to hide that?"

Lacey didn't answer that for a moment. Eventually, she just muttered, "At least I have a _reason _why I act like I do."

Sienna glared. "And you think I don't?"

The nonconformist plopped herself down on a rock across from where Sienna stood in the cave. "Well… spill then."

Silence. "What?"

"We're obviously going to be here a while and I want to know what you have to say. So spill your guts."

"What do I get in return?" Sienna asked.

"I'll tell you a little about me if you want."

"Why would I want to know about you?"

"Let's just say what's said in the cave stays in the cave until one of us does something bad to the other back at camp." Lacey suggested. "Perfect blackmail material for if you need it, but also a little bit of necessary girl talk."

Sienna gave her an untrusting look. "Promise you won't tell?"

"Cross my heart."

Sienna sat down on a rock in the corner of the cave. "Where do I start…?"

* * *

"I cannot believe them!" Haley shouted to herself. I absolutely can't _believe_ they'd leave me alone just for saying one innocent little two syllable word!"

Haley marched on through the woods alone complaining to herself about Morty and Daphne.

Though she didn't realize it, obviously a few screws had gone loose during her short lived romance with Riley. Once he'd been voted off right after they broke up, those loosened screws seemed to have just fallen out completely.

Everything looked like Riley to her: the trees, the leaves, the flies, the clouds… everything! Sometimes she _swore_ she heard bad drum music playing from somewhere in the forest, which she just wanted to run towards. At one point a bird chirped and she thought she heard it say "Hey, babe."

So she'd gone completely nutty. But hey, this happens to everyone, right?

Okay, maybe not.

A crackle of leaves startled Haley and she instantly stood up straight, looking around for where it came from. Those sounded like footsteps!

"Ugh, how did I ever get stuck out here _alone_?"

Was that a voice?! Haley quickly whipped her head around to find the source of the sound only to see the figure of a teenage boy walking through the trees.

Hey… was that Riley?

"Riley?!" she called out to the figure. The figure's head turned in surprise to the name. "Oh Riley it _is_ you!" The social butterfly went running through the leaves towards her ex-boyfriend with arms wide open. Once she reached him she flung her arms around his neck and pulled him in, kissing him square on the lips.

"Riley" couldn't react. He couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything, couldn't even think anything.

Why? Because Joe Freeman couldn't talk to pretty girls.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

The screen shows Tanya sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, her face tear stained, rocking back and forth on the outhouse toilet seat. She looks up at the camera with watery green eyes.

"If anybody is hearing this," she sniffles. "These might be my last words ever. There is a mad woman out there looking for me, and this is my last hope." Tanya wiped her nose on the arm of the robe she was wearing.

"This camera is my last hope for contacting any other form of humankind. All of the cameras are gone, Chris is gone, Chef is gone, all of the other campers are gone…

"To everyone, even the ones I hate… I wish you were here. I'd do anything to have somebody here with me other than that mad bitch Maureen. Anybody! Addy, Kestrel, you know I don't mind you guys. Jayna, Haley, you two are awesome. Carrie, so neat and clean. Russell and Joe H, you two were… okay, I guess. Lacey, I don't like you but you don't like me either, so that's okay! Blair… oh, Blair, I even wish _you_ were here!

"So please, if somebody gets this message, SEND ME HELP!"

The doorknob can be seen turning beside her and she holds it shut.

"Taaaaaaanyaaaaaa? Are you in there?"

Tanya whimpers again. "Please…"

**End Confession Cam**

**

* * *

**

1) Translation: You stupid little idiot. At least I _**think **_**that's what it means. If that isn't what if means just pretend he's calling her Kermit the Frog.**

**2) Translation: You jerk!**

**This chapter is SO SLOW PACED it's not even funny. Gah (yes, I said gah), I hate it. And oh my friggin' frick there is Too. Much. Stuff. Going. On. Seriously, with all the different groups how many little plotlines are happening? Ten? Eleven now if you count Haley and… um… "Riley"? It is so hard to remember what's going on!**

**I think this chapter really shows some of my favorite characters to work with: Kestrel, Tanya, and Addy... er... Ad-Zan. I also have a newfound love for Hungry-For-Deer Aaron and Crazy in Love Haley. **

**Also, most of these plotlines were not planned out and just came off the top of my head since the first (almost finished) copy of this chapter is GONE! Hopefully I left you with at least one group of characters that you're curious what happens to.**

**Anyways, for those of you who might want a quick recap, here's where everybody is:**

**Morty and Daphne: Unknown, but had abandoned Haley**

**Kestrel and Joe H: Running from a swarm of bees**

**Carrie and Irving: Falling down the waterfall**

**Kyra, Russell, and Ad-Zan: On a vine swinging through the woods**

**Jake and Jayna: In a tree surrounded in hungry animals**

**Blair, Kit-Kat, Tom, Glisa, and Aaron: Falling off a cliff**

**Lacey and Sienna: In a cave telling each other their stories**

**Haley: In a liplock with "Riley"**

**Joe F: Imagining what he'll tell his friends at home about this!**

**Tanya: Trapped at camp with Maureen**

**The next update should be up soon!**


	20. Ep6, Pt3: Come On Follow Me

**254?! Are you serious?! I'd say I'm speechless, but that would require me saying something…**

**Um… so for some reason my computer's spellchecker has decided that I write in Spanish and even though I keep on changing it back to English, apparently it thinks I write in Spanish again. I think I got it to correct most spelling errors, but if the grammar's off blame it… not me.**

**Weird stuff in this chapter will be explained by the end...**

**Story Shout-Out: If you're looking to submit a character to an awesomely dramatic story, be on the lookout for GossipQueen101's Total Drama Action: Totally Interactive. She's awesome and I know she's got a huge season planned!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Lacey and Maureen. And those laws of physics and time that Russell, Ad-Zan, and Kyra are breaking on that vine and that Joe and Haley are breaking in the mud? Those aren't mine either.**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Come On, Follow Me**

"I really wish I knew where I was going right now."

"So do I." Morty watched Daphne cling to the shade beneath the edge of a rock jutting out of the cliff they were walking by. "You could always walk over here."

"The shade isn't dark enough and I would prefer to _not_ burn today." Daphne squinted as she glanced upward at the thin rays of sun sneaking between the leaves above her. At first, she and Morty had been walking mostly in areas where there was a thick canopy above them, though as they neared rougher land (cliffs and caves galore), the trees had thinned out. Whoever had dumped them into the woods wasn't gracious enough to provide her with her umbrella, or even a hat for that matter.

"Do you think Haley will make it out of the woods?"

"Maybe." Daphne replied. "I hope she does."

"Well, she did kind of deserve it."

**

* * *

**

Flashback

"I'm not blind, just completely-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WOO HOO!"

A large object zoomed by Haley, interrupting her as she spoke. Morty and Daphne just looked after the object clutching their ringing ears, but Haley's eyes opened wide and a wide smile spread across her face.

"Was that Riley?!" she shrieked. Morty and Daphne exchanged confused looks.

"No."

"Why is he out here?!" Haley asked. "I've got it, he must have pulled an Izzy and escaped the Boat of Losers and is hiding out on this island… but why didn't he stop for me?!" She paused for a moment, before bending down and tightening the laces on her sneakers.

"No offense, but what are you _doing_?" Morty asked.

"I'm making sure my shoes don't fall off."

"For what?"

"I'm going after Riley!" At that she attempted to start to run.

Both Morty and Daphne then lunged at her, each restraining her by one arm.

"Haley, that wasn't Riley." Daphne reassured.

"How do you know?"

"There were _two_ voices."

"I could still follow him and check!"

"No, you don't get it. We _saw_ Riley leave on the Boat of Losers. You weren't at the Marshmallow Ceremony, so you didn't see him leave."

"He's here!" Haley shouted, thrashing her head and moving her arms. When she turned her head, Morty saw that her eyes were wide and her teeth were clenched tight. She looked manic.

"Haley, calm down. That wasn't hi-"

"LIAR!" Haley then suddenly jerked her elbows out, hitting Daphne in the chin and throwing Morty to the ground, and started to sprint at full speed in the direction that the strange object had swung.

She ran blindly considering "Riley" had been out of sight minutes ago, but she still was putting all her power into it. Running, running, screaming his name, running…

Tripping over a rock and flying into the air.

She hit the ground and got a face full of dirt, though that didn't seem to knock her out of her Riley induced trance. She immediately sat up and looked around her in the woods, not really sure what direction she had been running.

"Riley?!" she shouted. "Riley, I know you're out there!" Her voice echoed through the woods. "Riley?! I'm over here!" She tried to shake some of the dirt from her hair as she attempted to get to her feet. "Riley!"

"Haley?"

"Riley?" She whipped her head around to find not Riley, but Morty and Daphne standing behind her. "Oh. It's just you."

"Are you… um… okay?" Morty asked.

"Or sane for that matter?" Daphne added in.

"I'm perfectly fine." Haley said, brushing dirt from her hands. "Why?"

Morty and Daphne exchanged a wary look. Both thought otherwise and wouldn't really like her tagging along with them any longer… but what would she do if they left her behind?

**End Flashback**

* * *

"I can't believe she had pushed us over like that." Daphne said, rubbing her chin. A bruise had already formed on her ashen skin as she clung to another area of shade.

"Something's not right with her," Morty commented. "I don't think that's normal obsession."

"So what is it? Mental insanity?"

"Maybe Chris and Chef have something to do with-"

"Wait, stop talking for a minute." Daphne interrupted. Morty stopped. "Do you hear that?"

Morty listened for a minute. "Yeah, what is it?"

"It sounds like it's coming from above us-"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Daphne and Morty looked up just in time to be crushed by a falling Aaron with Kit-Kat, Blair, Tom, and Glisa right behind.

* * *

"Welcome passengers to the Ad-Zan Express. Please keep all hands, feet, tentacles, tails, and any other limbs near or in contact with the vine. Please no smoking, food or beverages, or flash photography during the ride. Breaking any of these rules or ticking off Ad-Zan will result in immediate evacuation from the vine. Thanks for choosing the Ad-Zan Express, home of all of your vine-swinging needs."

"Addy?"

"It's Ad-Zan, city-dweller."

"Ad-Zan, then."

"Yes, one who wears shoes?"

"Where exactly is the Ad-Zan Express _going_?"

"I would tell you if I knew."

"That's exactly what I was afraid of." Russell mumbled under his breath, trying to ignore the tight grip Kyra had on his leg instead of on the vine.

"How long have you been doing this for?" Kyra asked Addy.

"The whole time I've been in the woods, hairless monkey." Addy replied. "First I had been bringing the boyje with only six hairs around-"

"Joe?"

"Whatever. All you naked gorillas look the same to me."

Neither Kyra nor Russell felt the need to point out that she was also a "naked gorilla". They didn't want to risk being dropped.

"As I was saying, so the six-haired wonder just whined and whined and whined and then I had hit a tree-"

"George, George, George of the Jungle, watch out for that tree!" Kyra started singing. Addy gave her a look that clearly said "How DARE you interrupt my story?!" and she instantly shut up.

"I hit a tree and had to get back on the vine again, and when I got on the anti-Jane was gone!"

"Anti-Jane?" Kyra asked, covering her mouth when realizing she'd said it out loud. Addy gave her a slight disapproving look, but she explained anyway.

"He didn't want to have a Tarzan and Jane moment in the woodsje."

"But _he_ would be Jane?" Kyra asked.

"Of course."

The childish girl then started to laugh.

"What?" Addy asked. Kyra continued to laugh, confusing both the crazy girl and Russell. "What did I say?"

"You said- haha ha- that- hee," Kyra took a deep breath and tried to hold in her laughter. "That Joe- haha ha ha- was _Jane_!"

Addy raised an eyebrow. "Yes, and?"

"He's a boy!" Kyra pointed out with another burst of laughter. "That's just silly!"

Addy still looked befuddled. "Yes, he is a boy. And?"

"I think she's trying to say that Jane's a girl and Joe's a boy." Russell spoke for Kyra. "Either that or she's picturing Joe in the ridiculous bright yellow dress Jane wore in the Disney movie."

Kyra snorted at that and reached up to wipe a tear from her eye…

Only to start to plummet to the ground because she had let go of Russell's leg, her only connection to the vine.

"Kyra!" Russell and Addy shouted after her. But it was too late; she'd already gone through one of the layers of trees below them and fallen out of sight.

* * *

"Holy. Crap." Lacey's eyebrows had shot up so high they were practically in her hairline. "Are you _serious_?"

Sienna wiped the running mascara from under her eyes with the side of her finger, nodding slowly as she blinked another tear from her eye.

"And I thought you just had issues…" Lacey muttered a little louder than she'd planned. "I mean, I really didn't expect you to have a story. Most of the girls who I know are like you are-"

"Self-obsessed. Yeah." Sienna nodded. "I know what you're talking about."

"It's just…" the smaller girl tried to make a hand gesture to complete her sentence, but she couldn't think of one. "Jeez, Sienna."

"Yeah." Dark tear tracks marked the queen bee's cheeks, a huge contrast to the nonconformist's horrified expression. "I think the girl talk really helped, though."

"If I had to keep all of that bottled up, I think I'd probably explode." Lacey commented. "I don't know if the pun was intended or not, before you ask."

"Trust me, I've 'exploded' before." Sienna replied. "I've found other ways to cope, though."

Lacey's eyes widened. "You're not a cutter or something, are you?! 'Cause that's, like, _really_ serious! One of brothers tried to do that once, and I smacked him so hard he-"

"No, no! Nothing like that!" she shouted. "Do you really think I'd scar my skin like that?"

"True…"

The queen bee wiped her eyes one more time before crossing her arms and looking at her strange companion expectantly. "Well?"

"What?"

"Your turn."

Lacey groaned. "Do I _have_ to go now? I didn't expect you to actually have a deep story! Now mine's just pathetic and I'll look like a total loser telling it after yours!"

"A deal's a deal."

The other girl sighed. "Fine…

"A long time ago, in a mystical land far, far away where every class in school makes you want to fall asleep and everybody is so snooty that if you uttered a single wrong syllable you would suddenly become ghetto trash in their minds-"

"Wait." Sienna interrupted. "Aren't you from Connecticut?"

"Yes. I'm describing it to you right now. Now shh if you want me to finish my story." Sienna shut up and Lacey continued. "Okay, so in this mystical mysterious land lived a girl. This girl was a little too short with big greenish eyes that were just a little too innocent and liked to wear her hair in two long braids on either side of her head like Pocahontas-"

"Didn't you say this story was about _you_?" Sienna interrupted once again.

Lacey sighed. "It _is_ about me. Who do you think the little girl is?"

The queen bee raised an eyebrow. "_You_ wore braids?"

"It's all part of the story, now can I continue?" Sienna nodded. "Okay, so this little girl lived in a house with her pushover parents and her three older brothers: a cool dude, an emo, and a kid who was dropped on his head a couple too many times when he was a baby. Since she was the youngest child and the only girl, this little girl strived to be perfect. An absolute angel.

"And so she tried. And she succeeded. She was that kid in school that nobody liked because she was the teacher's pet and knew everything, but still had to show off just so she felt better than you. Oh, and she played the flute, an instrument of pure unadulterated high pitched evil."

Sienna interjected one more time. "Sounds kind of like Court-"

"Finish that sentence and the story ends there." Lacey threatened.

"Fine."

"Okay, so this little angel with the braids was living a happy life until she skipped her little mini-skirted, pink bloused way to her first day of middle school. Once she stepped into the hallways of junior high, she realized that not _everybody_ was an innocent little flautist like herself.

"In fact, everybody at this special little school was either a mean, provocatively dressed girl who looked like a raccoon because of her over usage of eyeliner and hated anybody smarter than her or a boy with a one-track, perverted mind who had the desire to do things with those braids of hers that she _really_ didn't want him to."

"What can you do with braids-?"

"You don't want to know, Sienna." The nonconformist glared. "Really. The braids and the flute had guys spreading around one of those 'one time at band camp' rumors. **(1)**"

"Oh…"

"Yeah."

"Needless to say, the little braided angel ditched the braids and the flute and blamed mainstream music and celebrities for the destruction of every teenager she would have to spend her school years with. So she decided to not have any contact or obsession with anything of that sort."

"Kind of extreme, huh?" Sienna asked.

"Yeah. She was dumber than she thought." Lacey smiled. "Anyway, so she went though like a three week Goth stage before realizing that she was allergic to a material used in eyeliner and ditched that look too. She kept having weird identity problems like this until deciding to just screw it and go with whatever she could find in her closet: otherwise known as all the remnants from all of her different appearance experiments. So she became her own person and it all went downhill from there… and that's where you get me!"

Sienna gave her a look. "That's the end of your story?"

"Told you it was pathetic."

"Well… it was _entertaining_." Sienna attempted to crack a smile. She'd just vented out her heart for that.

Lovely.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

"Hello and welcome to the Video Will of Tanya Tulasvies. Hopefully this tape has been at least put on a DVD so it can have a decent menu and some good editing, but if it doesn't I can't really do anything because if you're watching this, I'm dead."

Tanya sighs and shakes her head. "Yes, I know, such a disappointment that a person with such… _potential_ died so early. And in such a shabby state too. I at least hoped my last living moments could have been experienced in a decent outfit." The drama queen gestures down towards her nightgown, bathrobe, and then up to her bed head.

"But enough about me, let's talk about life _after_ me." She gives the camera a grim smile. "I'm expecting everybody to come to my funeral. That's right, _everybody_. I'm talking my teachers, my classmates, the mayor, my distant relatives, oh and my enemies, all of the contestants on this stupid show..."

She looks up at the camera from counting off people on her fingers and thinks for a moment.

"Actually, scratch that last one. I don't think even my _corpse_ would want to be with these mess-making lunatics for any longer than necessary." She shudders at the thought.

"But enough with the tear-jerking images," Tanya moves her hands as if she is trying to wipe away the thought. "If you find my body at this camp, then I would like to be immediately taken off the island and have the show _sued_ for as much money as it possibly can.

"If you can't find my body, chances are it is somewhere on the island in the possession of a crazy stalker named Maureen… um…" Tanya thinks for a moment. "Well, I actually don't know her last name. One second."

She knocks on the side of the outhouse. "Hey, stalker bitch?!"

"Yes?!" Maureen's voice comes from outside of the bathroom.

"Could you tell the public your last name so they can arrest you?!"

"It's Roman!"

"Maureen Roman, then." Tanya turns back to the camera. "I'm pretty sure it's spelled like you think it is. You can press charges on anything you want, because I'm pretty sure this freak's done everything in the book!"

"I haven't tried arson yet!" Maureen shouts.

"I would tell you to put her on death row," Tanya continues, completely ignoring Maureen, "but that's a little harsh. Plus, by some freak accident we might end up in the same place after death and I really don't want to see her there." She mutters something under her breath about being an angel followed by some camerawoman-related expletives.

"Wait, are you coming out then?" A thump is heard from outside the outhouse, followed by scratching on the wall.

"Not a chance, biatch!" Tanya hollers. She then mouths to the camera. 'Help me! See what I have to go through?'

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

It isn't every day that you're running from a wild swarm of bees and you trip over a rabid, hungry squirrel. It isn't every day that you were running so fast before tripping over the squirrel that you went flying at least a couple of feet at several miles an hour only to run into a tree.

Poor Kestrel and Joe Howlett. The two Deer guys had just experienced this.

The fortunate part about hitting the tree was that there was a pack of hungry animals surrounding the tree that for some reason instantly attracted the bees. The animals all started to run, the bees chasing after them instead of the two (now bruised) teammates.

The strange part about hitting the tree was the two making out teens that fell out of it on impact. The brunette on the blonde instantly separated from each other when hitting the dirt, both wide-eyed at the artist and geek being there.

"Jake? Jayna?" Kestrel questioned. "Why were you up in that tree?"

"Hungry animals." They answered in unison.

"Why were the hungry animals chasing you?"

"No idea."

"But the real question is why were you just devouring each other's faces?"

Jayna, Jake, and Joe Howlett all gave Kestrel a strange look. Joe was the one to speak up, "They were _making out_."

"I'm sorry, but is cannibalism legal now?" Kestrel asked. The others just shook their heads and didn't bother explaining. The idea was too complicated to get through his thick skull.

"So when'd you two hook up?" Joe asked the question that had been hanging in the air.

Jake shrugged. "Just now."

"We thought we were going to die." Jayna added in.

"This is _way _better than dying." Jake added with a smile, the two nature lover's hands subconsciously intertwining.

Kestrel gave them a suspicious book before whispering to Joe, "I think Minerva's been sending them text messages…"

* * *

They say in space nobody can hear you scream. This statement also applies from under the water.

There's no air for you to breathe, so you can't scream unless you're asking for a death wish. The water pushes around you, the pressure building so that every movement is unheard as the liquid falls above you. You can try to struggle, try to squirm, but after falling down a waterfall the rapids will just keep pouring and pulling you in until you're so deep in the river that you don't know if you landed stomach first or back first and if you're swimming up or down.

The deeper you get, the more likely you are to drown.

The worst part, though, is that you're trapped. The closer to the bottom you get, the more water piles on top of you. When you look in the direction that you think is up and you can't see a ripple from the thrashing currents, you know you're towards the bottom. Handfuls of mud prove it as you accidentally scrape the ground, hair swaying like it's its own independent creature blinding you as you try to swim in some direction.

And then a hand bursts out of the direction you thought was left but must be up just as you hit your knee on a rock and it scrapes through your jeans. You start to swim towards it, kicking your legs and pushing through the water as fast as you can. You grab it in a desperate last hope, even though you already know who it is.

Auburn hair bursts through the water's surface as a waterlogged body is pulled onto the grass. Water is spit out of a filled mouth as the soaked curls are flipped out of wide eyes that search for the rescuer.

And Carrie looks up at Irving, who is wearing a triumphant almost-smile on his wet face. "You're welcome."

* * *

Sometimes when you attempt to pull somebody into a sudden kiss, your aim won't be the best. Sometimes you're just a little bit off and your bottom lip hits their chin, or there are unfortunate times where your aim is terrible and you completely miss and accidentally get a mouthful of nose.

Fortunately, Haley Figgins was a good kisser, even in the weirdest of circumstances, so she only missed by a little bit.

That was how Joe Freeman ended up having to wipe spit off of his cheek as he trudged on through the woods behind a very confused brunette. No, it's not a very pleasant description, and even though he was just kissed by an attractive girl, Joe wasn't exactly pleasant either.

Mostly because she thought he was somebody else at the moment of lip-locking and he couldn't speak to her without stuttering like Porky Pig on steroids.

_Awk_ward.

When Haley had finally realized Joe wasn't Riley, she had instantly pushed him away (the unfortunate artist had landed in a bush) and started to attempt to spit all of his germs onto the ground. The kiss must have jogged her brain back into reality and her sudden unexplained hysteria had worn off.

That'd probably explain why she was frantically attempting to scrape her tongue and claiming that she had a "grody taste in her mouth".

As she stomped through the woods with Joe in tow, she could only think about how much she'd pay for a breath mint.

Of course, she didn't say that out loud. She didn't want to offend Joe anymore than she already had. Chances are when she started squealing "Gum! Gum! I need some really strong gum! Ew ew ew ew ew!" she'd already done as much damage as she could to his dignity and emotions, but no need to completely break the guy.

Joe Freeman wasn't as disgusted. Just completely offended. He was trying to remember if that bird that was sitting in the tree above their sudden liplock was a camera or not.

* * *

"I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, _so_ sorry!"

"Kit-Kat-"

"I really didn't mean it; it was all a total accident!"

"Kit-"

"I swear, if you have brain damage or something after this, I owe you my firstborn or something!"

"Kit-Kat, please stop. They either can't hear or comprehend what you're saying."

"Umbrella fish ultraviolet Memphis!"

Tom, Blair, Kit-Kat, Glisa, and Aaron were marching through the forest after their cliff fall. Their impact on Daphne and Morty had an unfortunate effect on the two unsuspecting Tortoises: Morty was unconscious and slung over Aaron's shoulder, and Daphne was completely disoriented and staggering around the forest blurting complete gibberish. Kit-Kat's conscious was bugging her about the fact that she believed they could've died from the fall, so she continuously apologized to the two even though she knew they couldn't understand her.

She already owed them $1000, a trip to Disney World, a pony, their weight in sugar cookies, her future husband, and her first child.

"Look!" Disoriented Daphne shouted, pointing a finger up to a tree. "A lion!"

Five heads turned to where she pointed, completely expecting an actual lion to be sitting in the tree considering Chris's torture methods. Instead they found a blue jay looking down at them confusedly.

"Have I ever mentioned that- that when I grow up, I wanna _be_ a lion?" The aristocrat questioned, dizzily fumbling over to the tree that the bird sat in and looking upwards, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue.

"Chica, what are you doing?" Glisa asked.

"Trying to catch a snowflake!" Daphne smiled, giggling almost drunkenly when the party animal tugged her by the elbow to continue following them. She waved a childish goodbye to the blue jay, though her hand was facing the wrong way.

"Dis way," Glisa pulled her along when she stumbled over a rock and began to turn the wrong way.

"But I wanna see the lion again!" Daphne exclaimed.

"The lion doesn't want to see you, though." Glisa insisted.

Daphne's lower lip jutted out. "The lion's a meanie. I think I need to go cheer him up and teach him how to smile."

"You know, Daphne, there might be a _lion_ back at camp." Tom improvised as Glisa muttered something about her being dumber than Kyra under her breath.

"Will he be nicer than the butthead over there?" She pointed back to where the blue jay was.

"Sure?"

"Okay. Now we have to get to the camp faster than a porky-pine on Flintstones vitamins."

Nobody dared to question that one.

* * *

"Okay here's the plan…" Sienna had picked up a stick and started drawing in the dirt beneath her feet, Lacey watching but not really paying attention. The queen bee began drawing a crude image of what was probably supposed to be a cave. She then added two stick figures inside the cave (one wearing heels, the other significantly shorter).

"I take it art isn't your strong point?" Lacey remarked.

"Shut up." Sienna replied, though it wasn't as cruel as she usually would have been. She'd added a stick figure bear into the picture as she spoke. "Okay, so here's you, here's me, and here's the bear outside of what's supposed to be-"

"Your drawings aren't that bad, I can tell what's what."

"Okay then," Sienna rapped the stick on the ground, the tip landing on what should've been Stick Figure Lacey's face. "You are going to sneak out of the cave and find a berry bush, where you should get some berries and bring them back here. I'll distract the bear by throwing a rock close to him, hopefully into a bush nearby, so he'll be distracted by it and think it's us.

"When you get back from berry-hunting (and you'd _better_ come back), we'll take two more rocks and rub the berries all over them. I think you'll probably be doing the rubbing since I don't want my hands to get stained-"

"I'm paler than you." Lacey interrupted.

"But I'm prettier, so I win." Sienna countered with a triumphant smile as she drew two rocks on her bad drawing. "So, once the rocks are covered in berries, one of us will roll one of the rocks out so it's near the bear. The bear will smell the rock and think 'Oh, this smells good.' That's when we throw the other rock as far away as possible. Hopefully the bear will either recognize the scent or appearance of it and run after it, and then we're free!"

Sienna put her hands on her hips and smiled, looking as though she was waiting for praise. Lacey just raised an eyebrow.

"I have a better idea." She got up and walked to the corner of the cave, picking up one of the large rocks that sat there.

"Oh, so you're suggesting that we switch roles for the first part?" Sienna asked.

"Nope. Better." Lacey poked her head out the entrance to the cave and then chucked the rock. She pumped her fist in victory when it made contact with something. "Come over here and see!"

Sienna walked over and cautiously looked outside of the cave to see the bear lying on the ground unconscious, the rock lying right next to him.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tanya has her hands together and her eyes closed, her face pointed upward towards the ceiling of the outhouse. Her mouth is moving rapidly, and she seems to be praying. She finishes off her prayer with something along the lines of "And make sure my Ipod goes to Rachel, since she really wanted it", and then looks at the camera.

"Okay everybody, these might be my last words. But, you know, I think I lived a good life. Sure it wasn't a long one, but I think I may have made the most of what I had- oh, a smudge." She frantically brushes a spot of dust off of the camera lense with her sleeve. "So no, the world is not a perfect place, and no, I am not on Broadway, but at least I'll be remembered as…" She swallows a sob. "As the girl who died on reality television…"

Knowing that she's showing a little too much weakness for her possible last words, she sits up straight and clears her throat.

"However, I will be strong. I will be brave, and I will not regret my decision because my family will be getting a huge sum of cash for my lawsuit against the show and arrest of a psycho killer. Hopefully they'll spend it on something good like a _personalized _velvet and rustic red sandalwood coffin with a golden finish, which they had better remember or I'll come to haunt them." Tanya pushes a piece of hair from her face and sighs.

"And now, cruel world, I believe it is my time to go. All good characters go out with a bang, and the finale is always the most dramatic with an unexpected death." She stands up confidently and turns towards the outhouse door. "_Au revoir_…" A fidget with the end of her nightgown. "…forever."

And then she burst through the door with a warrior's battle cry, a gasp in surprise from Maureen audible. The sounds of two pairs of running feet and then somebody falling to the ground with a yelp are heard.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"You realize that I think you're a total creep, right?"

Joe Freeman's jaw dropped, this sudden comment making him completely forget that he was talking to a pretty girl. "What?!"

"You're a creep." Haley replied with a stubborn pout and crossed arms.

Enraged, Joe's fear of girls completely disappeared. "_You_ kissed _me_!!!"

"You're the creep for making me believe you were Riley."

"I didn't say anything! I just stood there while you attacked me with your mouth!"

"You used your creepy nerdy magic on me and put me in a trance, didn't you?" she questioned.

"What?!"

"That's it." Haley snapped her fingers. "I've been hypnotized. Now every time you say 'Rutabaga' or something I'm going to stand up and make out with you!"

"That's crazy, Haley!"

"Exactly, which is why you probably thought I wouldn't think of it."

"I can prove it to you!"

"How-"

"Rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga!"

"Ew ew ew!" Haley covered her ears. "La la la la, I'm not listening-"

"It's not doing anything. Rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga-AH!"

Haley had pushed him. She'd pushed him hard. So hard in fact that he'd fallen onto his back and started to slide down the muddy hill that they were just standing beside. Unfortunately for Joe, the hill was steep enough for him to gain speed and keep on sliding farther and farther away.

Haley just stared after him before it kicked in: she may have just sent him to his death… and she was alone.

She started to bolt through the mud. "COME BAAAAAACK!!!"

* * *

"Kyyyyyyyraaaaaa?"

"Naked goriiiiiilllllaaaaaaaaa?"

"Do you _really_ think she will answer to that?" Russell asked Addy.

She shrugged. "Ad-Zan thinks so."

Within the several minutes it took for Russell and Addy to find a safe place to drop to the ground and attempt to find Kyra ('s corpse), Addy had began to talk in the third person.

"Furless moooooooonkeeeeeeeey?"

"Kyyyyyyyraaaaaaa?"

"Naaaaakeeed monk- holy shizzler!"

Addy and Russell both stopped dead in their tracks, their eyes widening to the size of plates.

Lying on the ground in front of them was a giant, motionless bear with a lump on its head the size of a baseball, a rock lying next to its head.

"Is it dead?" Addy asked with a slight eye twitch.

"I don't think so…" Russell said. He stared at the bear a minute. "I think it just started breathing again."

As soon as he said that, Addy went marching up to the bear, crouched down, and attempted to pick it up by the armpits.

"What are you doing?!" Russell shouted rushing over to push her away before the bear could eat her.

"Ad-Zan is going to nurse this bear back to health, of course!" Addy proclaimed, attempting to lift the fuzzy creature. She automatically collapsed into the dirt under its weight. "Ugh! This thing's heavy!"

"It's a live bear! Do you expect it to use its Kryptonian powers to lift itself into the air?"

Addy gave him a blank look. "Ad-Zan has no idea what you are talking about."

"Superman's planet?"

"Ad-Zan is not familiar with this Man of Super-ness. Remember, Ad-Zan has lived her entire life in the forestje-"

"Just forget it." Russell interrupted. "I'm going back to camp now, with or without you."

"Ad-Zan and her new animal companion Jane Two will meet you there!" The hyper girl grunted, falling to the ground again soon after. Russell shook his head disappointedly at her, walking back in the direction that they had originally been going.

* * *

"If there is one thing I regret in my life, it's signing up for this show."

Carrie glanced over at Irving. "What if you end up winning the money?"

"I'll probably still regret it. There're other ways to become known as a great soccer player. Plus, I highly doubt anybody involved with David Beckham's management watches a reality show set in Canada."

"Marie Claire's editor does."

"How do you know?"

"A celebrity in the magazine wanted to wear some of my shirts, so I got to talk to her just before I left for the show."

"Oh. That still doesn't mean David Beckham's manager watches it."

Irving and Carrie felt like they were walking in circles. They'd ditched following the river after their near-drowning experience, so they were now wandering soaking wet through the woods. At one point they were both going to risk taking off their shoes, but when they had hit the mud and rocks that idea was completely trashed.

"We have to almost be there, don't we?" Carrie asked.

"I hope so."

"I mean, how long have we been walking? Three hours?"

"Feels more like _thirty_ three. I wouldn't know, though. I'm so starving it's probably getting to my head."

"Me too. I would probably kill for Chef Hatchet's food."

"Ugh. I don't know about kill, but those liquidized eggs we had a couple days back are suddenly sounding really good."

"Who'd ever guess?"

"Yeah- HEY!"

Irving was suddenly knocked to the ground by something sliding through the mud they were walking in. Carrie watched him speed by, obviously accidentally stuck on top of the object. And from the back of the object's head it looked a lot like a head with three hairs in the back of it.

"Joe Free-ACK!"

Carrie was then knocked to the ground and landed in somebody's lap. She brushed her (now muddy) hair out of her face and looked up to see who it was only to shriek.

"Haley?!"

"Don't ask, just go! And don't listen to anybody if they say rutabaga to you!"

* * *

"Hey Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Jayna a traitor?"

Joe Howlett gave Kestrel a look. "What?"

"Is Jayna a traitor?" the artist whispered again, annunciating his syllables a little more.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because she's with a guy from the other team." Kestrel explained quietly, pointing his finger to where Jake and Jayna walked up ahead. "That's like a Keebler elf and one of the Rice Krispies guys. Total mutiny."

Joe, though amazed at the fact that the clueless dreamer even knew the word mutiny, gave a slight laugh. "I don't think it's wrong. LeShawna and Harold did it. Lindsay and Tyler, I guess. Plus this is the plot of tons of movies. If it doesn't work out, at least it was entertaining."

"Huh." Kestrel shrugged, watching as Jayna "accidentally" ran into Jake with her shoulder. "I guess you're right-"

"Is that a bear?!" Jake shouted, pointing into the woods. The three Deer followed his finger to a creature that was stalking through the woods with a bear's head… but it was on two human legs.

"Looks like the Monster from the Black Lagoon…" Joe Howlett whispered.

"Maybe Chris hired it and mutated even more defenseless animals!" Jayna suggested.

"No…" Kestrel's eyes bugged. "It's not her…"

"Huh?" Jake, Jayna, and Joe turned their heads towards Kestrel. The artist just took a few confident steps forward and cupped his hands to his mouth.

"MINERVA!!! SEND ME YOUR TEXT MESSAGES!"

Joe just slapped his forehead as Jake and Jayna looked on confusedly.

"MINERVA!!!" Kestrel shouted one more time. This time, the creature turned its bear head towards him. "YES, IT'S ME! KEITH PARKER! I'VE BEEN SENDING YOU FANMAIL FOR SIX MONTHS!"

From the distance, all that could be heard was a voice happily shrieking, "Kestrel!" The bear-human thing **(2) **then started to run at them. Jake, Jayna, and Joe all took several steps back, but Kestrel just stood there with his arms open wide. The creature dove at him and then seized him in its arms in…

A bear hug.

"You will be such a better Jane than the six-haired Anti-Jane was!"

"Addy?" Kestrel asked, his voice muffled by her arm.

"No! It's Ad-Zan now, queen of the jungle and finder of Jane's everywhere!"

"Oh. Sorry."

"Addy?" Jake spoke up from where the three campers at the scene with at least an ounce of common sense stood. "What is that on your back?"

"Oh, this?" Addy asked, jerking her thumb at the object that was weighing her down on her back. "This is Jane Two! He's an unconscious bear!"

Jake and Jayna ran, Joe Howlett on their tail. Addy and Kestrel just exchanged looks.

"What are they running from?"

* * *

When Kyra had dropped from Ad-Zan's mighty vine, she hadn't expected to end up landing a couple of inches from her head being skewered by an orange cone.

And then she realized that there were orange cones set up near the baseball field yesterday.

And she started to run.

When she burst through a bush and saw the baseball field, she ran straight to home plate and let out an excited squeal.

"I made it!" She jumped in a circle and chanted in a sing-song, "I made it! I made it! I made it!"

"Congratulations Kyra!" A voice exclaimed. Kyra stopped celebrating to see Chris standing in front of her. Chef Hatchet sat behind the fence on a bench that Chris must have just gotten up from. "You're the first to complete the challenge!"

"Yes! Yosh yosh!" the childish girl sung, doing a cartwheel across the field.

Moments later, Aaron with Morty over his shoulder, Tom, Glisa, Kit-Kat, and Blair casually walked out of the woods. Daphne followed, buzzing her lips with her arms out and screaming "I'm an airplane" as she did so. They all walked over to where they saw Chris and Kyra standing.

"Congratulations, dudes and dudettes!" Chris said. "You didn't get out of the woods first, but Kyra's already won it for your team so you're still good to go!"

"Um, hello?" Blair, the only Deer present in the group, cleared her throat. "What about me?"

"Oh yeah, you get immunity for being the first Deer out." Chris said. "But that's not really important, bra. What _is_ important is what the heck happened to Morty and Daphne?"

As if that was her cue, Daphne jumped onto Glisa's back with a crazed look in her eye. "You people promised me a lion to have and hold and call my own!"

"They were… um…" Kit-Kat tried to search for the right word as Glisa struggled to remove Daphne.

"Hit on the head." Aaron supplied, putting Morty down on the bench next to Chef. "Hit on the head by something _very_ large."

"Daphne, _su león_ _es _over dere!" Glisa pointed towards Chris. Daphne immediately hopped off and looked around before crossing her arms.

"Liar." She sulked. "I think you're just an apple cider juice monkey sock eggplant relish face."

Kyra suddenly jumped in surprise when Daphne said that. "You speak Kyranese too?!"

* * *

A couple of minutes later, Jayna, Jake, and Joe Howlett came running out of the woods. They finally stopped when they hit the center of the baseball field and began to pant, babbling something about Addy, Kestrel, a bear, and somebody named Jane.

Russell came walking out solo after them with his nose in a Justice League comic book. When Kyra asked him where Addy was, he just shrugged.

Sienna and Lacey walked out of the woods a few minutes after Russell. They seemed to actually be having an almost friendly chat, which confused the hell out of everybody who was already at the baseball field.

Addy and Kestrel came next, surprisingly bear-free. Jayna asked them something about Jane Two, and Addy (who was now not calling herself Ad-Zan because she was "exposed to civilization") said he started to wake up.

After a head count, they figured out they were missing five people. And that was when Irving, Joe Freeman, Carrie, and Haley came skidding out of the woods, instantly stopping when hitting grass. Irving and Carrie were both soaked with both mud and water, while Haley and Joe's backs and legs were coated in mud. Though Irving, Carrie, and Joe got up with a pretty typical "I've been through a lot of crap today" reaction, Haley instantly leaped to her feet and frantically ran towards the group.

"He's got claws in my brain!" she shrieked. "Claws I tell ya! Claws and rutabagas running down the insides of my head!"

"Um, Haley?" Russell questioned his sister.

"No, brother! Even you with your love of all things superhero-y can't stop this evil-doer!" She collapsed to the ground in front of everybody. "My brain is mush forever! I won't be able to control myself! I'll have to change my name! How's about Faley Higgins?! That's different!"

"Haley, calm down!" Jayna attempted to comfort her friend.

"It's not Haley, Jayna, it's Faley!"

"Faley, then, what's wrong?"

"It's-it's… that _cursed_, _rancid_ word!"

"What word?" the crowd chorused.

"Rutabaga." Joe Freeman answered in a surprisingly confident voice. "I don't know what's wrong with her but she thought I was Riley-"

"You dare speak his name?!" Haley- um- _Faley_ jerked a shaking finger at the comic artist.

"What's he gonna do about it?"

"Oh, when you get to Playa des Losers he's going to make you _pay_, cue ball! Do you hear me?!"

"Loud and clear, Haley, loud and clear."

The slap across Joe's face was loud and clear too. Unlike the last episode, though, this time the Tortoise's were on _his_ side. Tom grabbed Haley and yanked her away as Kit-Kat rushed to check his face.

When Daphne spotted Haley being held by the shoulders by Tom, she instantly snapped out of her concussion-like trance and clenched her jaw. "You're the one who bruised my chin!"

"Beat it, boyfriend hater!" The social butterfly snapped, trying to kick a foot out at the aristocrat. Tom pulled her back as Chef Hatchet got up and walked over to him. He grabbed Haley and carried her under his arm like a football, walking towards camp with her. She was screaming the entire way.

The others could only stare wide-eyed and slack jawed.

* * *

Everybody had gotten tired of waiting for Tanya to return from the woods and had headed back to camp, only to be shocked by what was there:

Broken cameras scattered the grounds, shoes and what looked like a bathrobe lay in shards. A hat that read "CAMERAWOMAN" in big white letters was crushed and stuffed with dirt. A clump of curly dirty blonde hair sat in front of the Confession Cam doorway.

And sitting in the middle of the wreckage on a lawn chair tanning was Tanya in a nightgown with a large pair of sunglasses over her face.

* * *

The moon was bright in the night sky as the thick smoke fumes from the campfire floated towards it. An eerie silence overcame the Devious Deer as they sat uncomfortably on the various trees stumps and logs.

One single member was isolated from the rest, sitting curled up on a stump alone near the edge of the fire pit: Haley.

Chef Hatchet had her lie in the First Aid Tent and had her sleep. Morty was two beds down, Daphne sat in a chair nearby icing her chin, and Joe Freeman had an icepack on his cheek. Kestrel and Joe Howlett stopped by once or twice to get painkillers for their bee stings.

When she woke up, she couldn't remember anything. The last thing she remembered was walking into the Mess Hall.

All eyes were on the outcast as Chris stepped up to the podium.

"Should I really bother saying everything?" he sighed.

"No." Six members of the team chorused, though a whimper came from Haley, a sympathetic "Um…" from Russell, and a confused look from Tanya.

"Okay then, you've all voted…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "Hitting somebody and flipping out over a boy is wrong, and borderline insane. You definitely deserve this."

Kestrel: "Not even the mighty Green Giant has ever slapped somebody with so much strength. I'm scared you'll slap me…"

Russell: He sighs. "I'm not sure what's going on with you, Haley, but I have nobody else to vote for and I think the resort will give you some time to relax."

Addy: "I don't know about you guys, but I'm voting for Jane."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Will everybody but _Haley_ please come up and get a marshmallow?" Chris ordered. The team got up, leaving the fun girl behind. Once they all had a marshmallow, they gathered around the fire as she rose to her feet.

"Haley, bra," Chris spoke. "I don't know what's going on, but you're the one to walk the Dock of Shame tonight."

Haley nodded slowly and walked to the Dock, turning around just before getting on the boat. "Goodbye guys. I'm sorry for whatever happened."

Tanya, Carrie, Jayna, and Russell had the guts to wave her goodbye.

**

* * *

**

Final Confession

Haley: She is sitting on a bench on the Boat of Losers, tears running down her face as the boat glides through the water. "Guys, I don't know what happened. I really don't. My head's killing me and my conscience is screaming. Whatever happened, I know I deserve this.

"I know you guys are in it to win it. Russell, I know you'll impress that girl of yours, Jayna, don't think I didn't see you with Jake before coming to the Ceremony, Carrie, Tanya, I wish you luck. I hope the rest of you do well too. I want to see three Deer in the Top Three in the end.

"As for me, I'm off to face…" A gulp. "_Him_ at the Playa. I hope I can write to you guys from there… if you want to hear from me, that is."

She gives one last wave. "Good luck everybody."

**End Final Confession**

_

* * *

_

Knock knock knock.

"Who is it?"

"It's Kit-Kat!"

"Who're you here for?"

"Blair!"

"Blair? Are you sure we're talking about the same person-"

"Shut up, Tanya." The door to the Devious Deer cabin creaked open and Blair walked onto the porch dressed in her pajamas. Kit-Kat stood in front of her with a tray in her hand.

"What's this?" Blair asked.

Kit-Kat just smiled. "Celebratory cookies."

* * *

In his Mess Hall that night, Chef Hatchet rummaged through the garbage until finding an opened can and plucking it from the bag. He placed a pair of glasses on his nose and turned the can, squinting when seeing the small letters he was looking for.

**AUNTIE JEAN'S OLD FASHION RUTABAGAS  
****GREAT FOR SOUP!  
****EXPIRATION DATE: 9/3/1972  
****WARNING: IF CONSUMED AFTER THE DATE SHOWN ON THIS CAN, CALL A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. SIDE EFFECTS OF EATING THESE MAY CAUSE CONSUMER TO TEMPORARILY APPEAR ATTRACTIVE OR DELECTABLE TO ANIMALS OR MAY CAUSE TEMPORARY INSANITY. DO NOT CONSUME AFTER EXPIRATION.**

"Oh…" Chef muttered to himself. "Guess I shouldn't have used these instead of potatoes in my soup yesterday."

**

* * *

**

1. American Pie reference. If you don't get it, you don't want to.

**2. I resisted the urge to call it ManBearPig, for those of you South Park fans who were waiting for it.**

**What is Final Confession?: A competitor's last words on the show before going to Playa des Losers. Generally shot right after they're voted off on the Boat of Losers.**

**Weird, weird, weird chapter here...**

**Seriously weird.**

**I can't say much else, but will probably add more here at another time.**

**Next challenge is a TDI classic!**


	21. Ep7, Pt1: Go On and Scream

**Reviews are awesome. Thanks for them. We're getting closer to 300 and a really bad "This is Sparta" joke.**

**In this chapter, Kyra plays Captain Recap along with Chris. I like hers better since she sees things that are behind the scenes, but it always feels necessary to add in Chris's. It's so girly that it almost burned to write…**

**I don't really think there's anybody that is still reviewing who hasn't done this, but if you haven't submitted a friend/family member/etc. this is your last chance. ****THAT CHALLENGE WILL BE NEXT.**

**Disclaimer: Yes, I own Total Drama Island, and when I'm sent to court I'll plead insanity and win. Haha, eat that Teletoon/Cartoon Network.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Go On and Scream**

"Last time on Total Drama Island: Again!" Chris smiled, standing in what was not the Dock of Shame, but what seemed to be the entrance to a field. "I was my lovely, courteous self and decided to give everyone a day off! The campers celebrated with a good ol' game of baseball."

_(Clips off hits, catches, outs, and runs from the game are shown ending off with Joe F hitting his homerun.)_

"The day ended off with all of the campers (except Tanya) eating… what's this?... real food! Of course, seconds later they all passed out."

_(Everybody eating and then dropping unconscious is shown.)_

"They all woke up the next day lost in the woods with some pretty unlikely companions. Then came the long journey through the forest which involved bears, bees, ravenous critters, waterfalls, giant cliffs, Ad-Zan and Jane, and… well, I think you get the idea."

_(Shots of the bear standing behind Sienna, Joe H and Kestrel running from the bees, Jake and Jayna surrounded in the tree, Carrie drowning, Morty and Daphne being crushed, and Addy on the vine with Russell and Kyra fly by.)_

"Along the way, new friendships were formed, conflicts were resolved, one relationship appeared, and one camper went kooky."

_(Lacey and Sienna venting, Blair and Kit-Kat laughing, Irving and Carrie actually having a conversation, Jake and Jayna holding hands, and Haley elbowing Morty and Daphne.)_

"Eventually it was Kyra who made it out of the woods first, though it was Haley who caused a scene when slapping Joe F across the face for no apparent reason. Ooh, harsh bra."

_(Kyra jumping for joy and the epic slap [complete with the deafening slapping sound] play)_

"Miss Figgins had walked the Dock of Shame that night, leaving the island with a heartfelt, expired food-induced goodbye."

Chris pulls out a remote with a single red button on it. "With one of their more normal campers gone, how will the Deer fair this challenge? Will the Tortoises reach new_ heights_ in challenge victory, or will they be _eaten alive_ by the under_dog_ Deer?

"Find out this time on Total! Drama! Island!" He presses the button and explosions erupt on the field behind him. "Again!"

* * *

The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the day just seemed to be perfect. It wasn't not too hot, but it was not too cold, and even the birds were chirping.

Naturally, the campers were glad about the weather and the fact that Chris didn't seem to be around, especially since yesterday's events.

Kyra was starting off her day sitting in a tree with a notebook on her lap, a pink gel pen writing across the page in a rounded handwriting.

_Dear Diary,_

_Yesterday was crazy! I've talked to everybody, and they seemed to have as crazy of a time as me!_

_Of course, spending the day with Russell wasn't all that bad. I like him. He's nice. Definitely somebody that I want as a friend. :)_

_Anyway, so last night we found out that the Deer voted off Haley. I thought she deserved it since she slapped Joe and everything. Poor guy. But it turns out, she didn't deserve it after all! Chris and Chef had called everybody into the Mess Hall and showed us a tape that she'd recorded on the Boat of Losers. I think they called it a Final Confession or something? It was so sad!_

_But that wasn't all. They then told everybody that Haley was acting so weird because of some expired onions or rutabagas or something like that and that nothing that she'd done was her fault!_

_You could see it on all of the Deer's faces. They'd made a mistake. I wanted to cry and I'm not even on their team._

_On a happier note, today is totally gorgeous. The sun is bright, the birds are singing… hey, I feel like a narrator for a story!_

_This morning I woke up bright and early (around 11-ish) and found that practically everybody was awake. Kit-Kat was helping Daphne out with opening some aloe since she'd gotten sunburned and her hands hurt from something she'd touched when she was speaking Kyranese yesterday. I think she might have tried to grab a porcupine! I tried to help them out, but when one of the bottles I tried to open accidentally slipped and rolled under Sienna's bed, nobody dared to go under there and risk her killing us. _

_I would've left then and found something better to do, but Jake and Jayna were sitting on the stairs of our cabin together bird watching or something nature-y like that, so I decided to be nice and not disturb them. They're really cute together even if their names are eerily similar. :)_

_It seemed cutesy lovey dovey was the theme of the day when I finally had the guts to sneak past them and walk down to the Mess Hall. Addy was gushing to Kestrel over this really pretty flower he'd gotten her from the woods. Tanya told him it attracted bees, but she still loved it._

_Morty's clothes came for him while I was in the Mess Hall. I got to get them from the UPS guy that brought them since he's still unconscious. We Tortoises have been taking shifts to watch him and make sure he's not awake since Chef's too lazy. It's my turn now, but Glisa keeps telling me that she'll do it whenever I say it is. She's probably been in there for like two hours now. She think she might've been speaking Spanish to him the last time I went in there even though she knows he can't hear or understand. Weird._

_Sienna and Carrie were arguing again earlier. Over what, I don't know. Something about Carrie almost drowning Irving? Who knows? Sometimes I think Sienna just makes things up. I'm not sure what got them to stop, but Kit-Kat and Daphne said they stopped a while ago. Girls and their drama._

_I think Joe F is better again. The area beneath his eye is a little bit swelled up, but it's not that bad. Haley must've hit hard! I talked to him this morning and he says he's fine. I think they're giving him tons of painkillers, so hopefully he'll be better soon._

_Ooh, gotta go! Russell's coming over here! :D_

_-Kyra_

"Kyra, Chef and Chris want everybody in the Mess Hall." The tall Deer camper said to the childish girl. Kyra quickly swung her legs over the edge of the tree branch and hopped off, landing gracefully on the ground.

"A challenge already?" she asked. "I actually thought we had a day off!"

"It doesn't look like one." Russell replied. Kyra pursed her lips in confusion.

"Really?"

"It looked like they had a letter."

Kyra quickly rocked back and forth on her heels before starting to skip across the field. "Come on then! We need to go see!"

Russell just raised an eyebrow before running after her.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Russell: "Having Kyra around is like having a little sister. I was always the youngest kid in my family, so it's a nice change." He thinks for a minute. "I hope she realizes that she's just like a sister to me, though…"

Kyra: She lets out a goofy giggle. "My diary's gonna hear _all_ about how he came to get _especially_ me."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

When Daphne pushed open the flap to the First Aid Tent, she hadn't expected to see Glisa still sitting in the chair beside the medical bed that Morty was unconscious on. The party animal didn't look up until Daphne closed up her umbrella with a slight flinch of her stinging hands.

"Oh, hey Daphne." Glisa smiled. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Hello Glisa," Daphne replied walking over to the table of medical supplies Chef Hatchet had in the corner of the tent. He'd told her that she could stop in here and get whatever she needed from the table anytime. It's not like he'd notice anything was missing considering he probably got most of it illegally anyway. She searched the table, frowning when what she needed wasn't there.

"Are you looking for de painkillers again?" Glisa asked. Daphne nodded. "Joe was in here before. I t'ink he brought dem to de Mess Hall."

"Why is he in the Mess Hall _now_?" the aristocrat questioned. "Lunch isn't for another hour or two, and breakfast ended a while ago."

"Tom came in here and said dat everybody had to go to de Mess Hall around… um… _¿hace cinco minutos_?"

"Huh. Nobody told me." Daphne said. "But why didn't you go?"

"_Somebody_ had to keep _un ojo_ on him, ¿_verdad_?"

After taking a minute to guess what she'd just said, Daphne gave her a puzzled look. "Weren't you in here the last time I was in here?"

"_Sí._"

"Wasn't that over two hours ago?" Glisa nodded. "But shouldn't Kyra be…?" When she saw Glisa fidgeting almost embarrassedly, Daphne's eyes went wide in realization. "Oh…" A knowing smile spread across her face. "You like him?"

"Don't tell anyone, _por favor_." Glisa begged. "I t'ink Kyra already has, and I don't want it getting around."

"Don't worry. I promise I won't." Daphne stepped towards the door and opened up her umbrella again. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to see what's going on in the Mess Hall."

"Tell me all about it when you get back!" Glisa shouted after her teammate as she walked out the door. She then looked back over at Morty and then shifted to a more comfortable position in the chair. He'd be up eventually. He had to wake up soon.

* * *

Chris waited at the front of the room as the last few campers filed into the Mess Hall. When Daphne walked into the room and reported that Glisa was still with Morty, Chris did a quick head count and made sure that they were the only ones gone.

"Okay, now that everybody's here." He dug in his back pocket as he spoke. "Courtney's law office called last night and said that she was still looking out for any chance to sue the show even though she's not on it. They had seen what happened last night and called Haley's elimination "under the influence of Chef Hatchet", and said that they were going to sue us for unfair treatment unless we did something about it." A quiet (chances are excited) murmur ran through the room at this news as Chris plucked out an envelope from his back pocket.

"So, last night we sent an intern to talk to Haley and asked her what she wanted other than to be back on the show. Her original answer was for Riley to disappear, but when we said we couldn't do anything about that she went with her second choice: to get in contact with you guys."

A few people gasped in disbelief at that. Several smiled. Chris ripped open the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper inside.

"So, without further ado I give you a letter from Playa des Losers from Haley. Russell, dude, since you're her brother and everything, want to read it?" Russell muttered something in return and scratched the back of his neck nervously. Chris cupped his hand over his ear. "What?"

"He says public speaking isn't his thing." Joe H spoke up for his teammate.

"Okay then, since reading is for ugly people, I'll have Chef read the letter to you!"

Chef instantly poked his head from the kitchen. "You callin' me ugly?!"

"Yes. Yes I am." Chris nodded, handing the letter over to Chef. The large man snatched the letter away and growled when Chris laughed and sat down at the end of the Deer's table casually. Chef trudged on out to the middle of the room with a sneer, dug through his apron pocket, and pulled out a pair of reading glasses. He placed them on his nose.

"Ahem…"

_Dear Deer (and Tortoises if Chris lets you read this too),_

_I hope you guys are having an awesome day on the island. The intern that came over here last night let me watch the footage from yesterday and MAN was I insane! I really don't mind that you voted me off now that I saw that. I would've voted me off too._

_But what I was really going to talk about: Playa des Losers. I never thought it could be so boring here! I mean, yeah, it's a beach resort and it's like totally gorgeous and all that, but do you know how hard it is to occupy your time with only five other people here, one of which you're not speaking to and one from the other team so you don't really know them? Really hard!_

_This morning I have been hanging out by the pool with Jolt. It's kind of boring considering Jolt always has his headphones on so you have to talk really loud to him the few times he's actually listening, but I don't really have any other choice considering Corin and Betsy are busy with their own things and Bren and He Who Shall Not Be Named aren't coming in contact with me (not that I'd want to come in contact with He Who Shall Not Be Named or anything)._

_I only talked to Corin once, and it was right before going to bed last night. She has this giant curtain set up behind the resort that she walked out to in the morning with her science supplies and some tools. I have no idea what she's doing, but she keeps rolling out from under the curtain lying on a skateboard with something weird smeared on her shirt. It kind of looks like grease, but it's green!_

_Betsy has been spending her time hitting on this attractive blonde waitress whose name is Amanda or Ashley or something like that. Even though her whole… um… sexuality thing wasn't a surprise to me, I didn't expect her to make it so obvious. I'm rooting for her though! Ashley/Amanda/whatever her name is keeps smiling back at her, so I think she has at least a little of a chance._

_When I got here, I thought Bren was attempting to kill me with his eyes. He had a smile on his face, but the look he was giving me was SO evil! I asked Jolt what was up with him. He says he's pissed at me all of the Deer for voting him off. I caught him writing revenge schemes in a little notebook when I went to get some breakfast. I'm pretty sure he might have spiked my omelet with something because my stomach is killing me!_

_I hope you're all doing well and I hope today's challenge isn't TOO insane! Hopefully Chris will let me write again soon!_

_~Haley_

Chef slammed the letter down on the table in front of Chris and then walked back to his precious kitchen as the campers laughed at him having to read the phrase "it's like totally gorgeous and all that". Several campers were just glaring at the front of the room as the host stood up again.

"What?" he asked. "You didn't enjoy your little treat from Loserville?"

"Was that _really_ all you called us in here for?" Blair asked from her seat right in the front.

Chris just gave her a winning smile. "Of course not! I have to reveal the next challenge.

The campers just groaned.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "I should've known." The tomboy puts her chin in her hands and blows her bangs out of her face. "This guy always has a trick up his sleeve. Letting us all hear Haley's letter was _way_ too nice."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"So, when we did _What Season is This Again?_ a couple days ago I know you all _loved_ watching the first season of Total Drama Island again, right?" Chris just laughed at all the negative responses. "Well, today we're going to be doing a Total Drama Island classic. Any guesses?

"The Big Sleep?" Joe F guessed from the crowd.

"Nope. If we were going to do that we'd make you guys do an eating challenge before that."

"Dodgeball?" Aaron asked rather hopefully.

"Nope. We already did sand ball."

"Paintball Deer Hunter?" Kit-Kat suggested.

"No. The whole Deer Hunter and then the team the Devious Deer would clash too much."

"Is it escaped psycho killer with a cha-"

"Don't waste your breath finishing the entire thing Kestrel, it's not that one."

"Aw."

"It'd better not be that stupid Tri-armed Triathlon one." Tanya said.

"Nope."

"Are you going to make us go back in the woods again?" Carrie guessed with a worried look on her face.

"No... well, actually maybe one of you will." Chris replied. "But not all of you! Even _I'm_ not that evil."

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Addy waved her hands around desperately. "Pick me! Pick me! Pick me pick me pick me pick-"

"What?!"

"It's Phobia Factor!"

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" Gasps (and one freaked out scream from Kyra) ran through the room which just made Chris chuckle. "What? You didn't see it coming?"

"No! There is no way I'm doing mine!" Blair shouted.

"I refuse to humiliate myself like that!" Carrie screeched.

"Oh god…" Aaron slammed his face against the table. "I'm going to be scarred for life."

"I kind of faced mine yesterday." Daphne insisted.

"You weren't aware of it so it didn't count." Chris replied. Daphne groaned.

"Um, Chris!" Tom raised his hand. "We have a problem!"

"What'd that be?"

"I'm fearless." He crossed his arms triumphantly.

"Liar."

"Nope, I'm telling the truth. I didn't fill out anything under "Phobia" on my application for the show."

"You're right. You didn't. But according to the reports we got back from home you're afraid of being eaten alive."

At those words, Tom let out a rather out of character yelp. "You told you that?!"

"Your parents." Chris smiled. "They're a pair of nice folks by the way."

"Traitors."

"Anybody else want to claim they're fearless?" Chris questioned. "Because if you didn't fill out anything on your application like Tom here, we've talked to _your_ families too." Nobody dared speak. "Okay then, the rules are similar to last year: over the next 25 hours you'll all have to face your fears. If you face it, you get a point for your team. If you don't, you don't. Easy enough, right?" Nobody responded. Most people were pouting, whining, or in Kyra's case almost crying.

"You have a couple of hours to do whatever you might need to prepare to face your fears: say your last goodbyes to some friends, attempt to bargain or make an alliance with me or Chef so you won't have to go through with your challenge (which by the way will get you disqualified or voted off a la DJ), have a good cry… whatever. We'll start with the first challenge at around 3:00 where I'll need… let me see…" Chris dug through his shirt pocket and pulled out a sticky note. "Addy, Jake, and Joe Howlett."

The three whose names were called stiffened in their seats.

"I need Russell after they're situated." The comic book lover jumped a bit where he was sitting. "Also, for the record, I checked the weather and tonight we should be expecting some _thunderstorms_," Joe Freeman yet out a squeak that sounded a bit like a scared puppy, "but tomorrow it should be _bright_ and _sunny_ all morning!" Daphne whimpered. "And to make it easier for the viewers at home, I'm expecting all of you to report what your fear is to the Confession Cam so we can put together a film reel of all of you saying your fears in a row just like they did last season at the bonfire. Got it? Good. I'll be in my trailer."

The host walked out of the room with a smile on his face. He seemed to be enjoying this way too much. The campers remained sitting in the Mess Hall for a minute in an awkward silence.

"Okay." Sienna spoke up. "Any volunteers to be the first one to use the Confessional?"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

**Question: What is your worst fear?**

Sienna: "Walking in a minefield with heels on. When Lindsay mentioned it last year, I _freaked out_!"

Kestrel: "Crows!"

Kit-Kat: "I think I've said this before, but baseball. Ever since my brother knocked out my tooth I've been paranoid."

Joe Howlett: "Heights."

Jake: "Heights."

Addy: "Heights! Ad-Zan wasn't afraid of heights of course, but I am!"

Joe Freeman: "Lightning!"

Daphne: "Intense sunlight, for obvious reasons. There was also one specific incident where I had to go to the hospital for a couple of weeks because of a really bad burn. Kind of ironic considering I burned a bit yesterday."

Irving: "A McDonald's super-sized meal. I actually _like_ the way I look."

Kyra: "Really deep bodies of water. Being near the shallow end of the lake is okay and I kind of wish we could go swimming, but I won't go anywhere near it if it gets deeper!"

Jayna: "Constant littering!"

Lacey: "No offense to married people or anything, but I'm really afraid of weddings. There's not really a reason. I can't even pass a church when one's going on without screaming it's that bad."

Aaron: "Sailor Moon. I'd rather not talk about why."

Russell: "Staying away from my comics for an entire day. That or getting them destroyed… again."

Carrie: "Yes, this probably will sound pretty pathetic when somebody else hears it, but wearing bland fashions. I tried it once and I felt like an insect!"

Blair: "Acting girly and wearing pink. I'd probably melt or something if I had to do that."

Tanya: "Chef's foot! Did you see that nasty thing last season?!"

Tom: "Well, I'm pretty sure you all heard it when Chris said it, but I'm afraid of being eaten alive."

Chris: "Because we couldn't get Glisa and Morty in here, I have to read off their fears." The host pulls out an index card. "Glisa is afraid of sheep dogs, and Morty's afraid of… um… steak sauce getting on his clothing?" He scratches his head. "This has to be a typo."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"I can't believe this! The crew would actually go as far as to put Irving in the woods with that British biatch?! They knew this would tick me off! I think they did it on purpose!"

"Oh, yeah, definitely."

"I'm sure this is all their stupid little plot to make me do something stupid so I'll look stupid on television."

"Oh, yeah, stupid, definitely."

"Don't they see that I'm _way _better looking than her? Plus, it's obvious brunettes are hotter than auburn-haired girls. I'm obviously- are you even listening?!"

"Yeah, sure, definitely."

Sienna just glared at the hyper girl. "Addy is the dumbest, ugliest girl on the island."

"Yeah, sure, definitely."

"You aren't listening!" Sienna was having one of those moments where she needed to whine… badly. Of course, the people she usually whined to were all busy. Glisa was with Morty. Kit-Kat was talking to Blair. Kyra was with Russell. Even Daphne was occupied with attempting to find as much sun block as she possibly could before her challenge.

She'd run into Addy on her way back to the cabin to hide her highest heels so Chris couldn't use them against her. The hyper girl had been sitting on a rock between the two cabins doing what looked like attempting to tie her legs in a knot. Sienna had said something along the lines of "What are you doing, you loser?" and then made some cruel remark about her Ad-Zan phase. Addy had just smiled and claimed she'd seen Bren do something like this back when he was on the island. Sienna had snapped something at her again, and Addy asked why she was so angry.

And that's how now the two were sitting at one of the picnic tables between the cabins, Sienna whining her brains out and Addy sitting there spacing out.

"Addy, are you listening to my venting or not?"

"Venting?" Addy had finally snapped back to reality and gave Sienna a quizzical look. "I thought you were _whining_! You know, my house had a problem with its venting-lation system, and it was _nothing_ like what you were doing."

"They're not the same thing, and I was _not_ whining." Sienna crossed her arms. "I was just saying how _horrible_ these people are for putting Irving with-"

"I think you're jealous." Addy smiled.

Sienna's eyebrows instantly lowered, her mouth going in a straight line. "I. Am not. Jealous. Sienna Van Der Woodsen does _not_ get jealous."

"Everybody gets jealous!" Addy said. She dug into her pocket and pulled out a flower. "See, I'm sure you are really jealous of my _beautiful _flowerje that Kestrel gave me."

As soon as she held the flower out at Sienna, a couple of bumble bees started to fly around her. The queen bee shrieked and fell off of the picnic table bench. She quickly then brushed herself off and gave the crazy girl a cold expression.

"Tanya's right for once," she said. "That thing _does_ attract bees." She turned sharply on her heel and headed towards her cabin, quickly adding in, "And I was _not_ jealous!" before slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Though only Jake, Joe Howlett, and Addy were need, only Glisa and Morty hadn't obeyed the announcement Chris had made and went behind the Mess Hall at 3:00. They were surprised to find three several hundred foot tall wooden poles and one bucket truck there when they arrived. The three who knew this involved their challenge paled.

"Wow, I didn't expect this big of an audience." Chris, who was leaning against the center pole with his arms crossed, smiled. "All the better for our three campers facing their fear!"

As he said this, Jayna leaned on the practically shaking Jake with a glare from Tanya, Joe practically fainted, and Addy tried to find her flower in her pocket.

"Since you three are afraid of heights, your challenge is a simple one." Chris began to explain. "You will each be lifted up in this bucket truck onto one of these wooden poles, where you must stand for _as long as you possibly can_. Only one of you will get the point for this challenge, so if you fall, quit, or pass out in fear you're out for good."

"Wait, wait, wait." Jayna interrupted. "Isn't this kind of unfair to them? What does this have to do with a fear of heights?"

"They're up really high in the air standing completely still and having to keep their balance. Chances are in order to keep their balance they'll look at their feet, which results in them looking down." The host gave the environmentalist a look that clearly read '_Duh_, bra.'

"Couldn't that be counted as psychological torture?" Tom asked from the crowd. Chris gave him the '_Duh_, bra' look and Tom shut up.

"Okay, so any volunteers to be the first one to ride the Bucket Truck of Doom up to their doom?" Chris asked. "It's operated by Chef Hatchet."

At the mention of his name, Chef gave them a spine-chilling smile and wave from the drivers' seat of the truck. At that moment, the only way he could be any creepier was if he asked them to climb into the truck because he had some candy.

"Okay, so I have to pick? Fine." Chris put out his finger and pointed between the three campers. "Eenie, meanie, miney… Joe."

Joe Howlett jumped. "Why me?!"

"Because your name rhymes with Moe, now get in the truck."

After a few minutes, Joe, Jake, and Addy were each standing on a wooden pole trying to keep their balance as Chris was being brought up to their height via the truck.

When he finally got up to the top of the poles (which must have been an eternity later), Chris gave them a good once over. Addy was a couple breaths away from hyperventilating. Joe would have said something rude if he wasn't having so much trouble keeping his balance. Jake was attempting to wave Jayna without looking down.

"You guys are looking like you're having the time of your lives." Chris laughed. "I'm sure the cameras in the trees will catch a great HD shot of the sweat running down your faces. The challenge will officially start when I say-" As if on that cue, Joe H's arms flailed and he toppled off the side of his pole. Chris, Addy, and Jake watched wide eyed as he fell down to the ground with a rather comic whistling noise and hit the grass with a rather deafening thump. The crowd of campers turned spectators cringed.

Chris looked up to the camera with a shocked expression. "Um… we'll be right back."

The image flicks to a set of rainbow colored bars with the words "We're sorry, we're experiencing minor technical difficulties. Please wait." printed over them. While cheesy elevator music plays in the background,

A minute later, the screen is back to Chris, Jake, and Addy in the places they had been. Joe was back on his pole looking completely dazed but with surprisingly better balance than earlier. He had a clump of grass on his head and dirt all over his face.

"Okay, so as I was saying, the challenge will officially start when I say it does," Chris said, "which, by the way, is now." Addy screamed at that, realizing that she had nothing to hold onto. Chris began to slowly be lowered down in the bucket. "Oh, and don't look down." The last thing the three saw was his evil smirk.

And then they looked down.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Jayna: "This is just cruel and unusual punishment, even worse than the whole eating the toxic fish thing back in _What Season is This_. He is putting Jake through something that he totally did not deserve!" The environmentalist sits there fuming, before quickly adding. "Oh, and Joe and Addy too. Can't forget they're on my team."

Kestrel: "I think I saw a few bees flying up towards Addy when she was up on that pole." He gives the camera a worried look. "I really hope Tanya was wrong and they weren't up there because of the flower!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Did you miss me?" Chris asked as he stepped out of the bucket once it got to the ground.

"No." Chorused the campers.

"I figured that." Chris said. "But let's get down to business: where's Russell?" The tall comic lover stepped from the crowd only after being pushed by somebody else. "You look like you just peed yourself."

"Did you touch my comics?" Russell's partially mumbled words slurred together in fear.

Chris smiled. "Of course we did!" Russell gasped. "I had some interns go into your cabin and put most of them in a bag. They're bringing the bag into the middle of the woods as we speak."

Russell marched up to Chris and grabbed him by the collar. "If you damaged any one of my first editions I will make you pay the fines." The threat came out a bit less scary than he hoped considering he had a panicked expression on his face as he said it.

Chris just smirked. "Chillax, bro. They'll be fine… unless you try and cheat that is." Russell raised an eyebrow. "The cameramen and I have a couple of comics with us and lying around camp just incase you suffer from extreme withdrawal, but mostly because we're paranoid of you going insane like your sister. If you attempt to touch one of the comics or somebody else's without quitting the game, we burn one of yours."

Russell's eyes widened. "You wouldn't!"

"We would." Chris smiled. "Welcome to the second season, dude. When you redo a challenge, it has to be twice as hard as the first time."

Russell looked as though somebody had just ripped out his heart as he sulked back into line.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Russell: "When I was younger, some of my comics were burned by some kids at school. They actually had me _watch_ while they burned the only thing that I really was proud of at that time." He grimaces. "Haley was involved, and it was a pretty scarring experience. I don't know if the fact that she's not here makes this whole challenge harder or easier."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Aw, Russell, are you okay?" Kyra asked when he'd walked back into the group. Russell didn't answer. "Is there something wrong? They're just comics, right? It can't be that bad. I don't-"

"Stop, please." Russell snapped, shocking the childish girl. Kyra's eyes went as big as dinner plates, but just got wider when a hand poked Russell on the arm.

"You know, I still have some of Kit-Kat's celebratory cookies in my cabin if you want some. They could always double as sympathy cookies."

Kyra sneered. It was Blair.

Russell turned to the tomboy with a questioning look. "What?"

"I have cookies. You look like you need them. Do you want some?" Blair repeated.

"Why would you ever offer me-?"

"Because cookies are delicious." She explained. "And I know that if I was facing my fear (which I'm not yet), I would want cookies. Plus, we Deer have to stick together, right?"

Russell gave her one more tentative expression before finally nodding. "A cookie would be nice."

"Awesome," Blair said. "I need to get out of here before Chris can get to me anyway."

Before they could walk away, a hand grabbed Blair by the back of the jacket. The tomboy turned her head to see a familiar childish girl glaring at her.

"What's the big idea taking him away for cookies while I was in the middle of talking to him?" Kyra asked.

"I saw that Russell didn't want to talk about it, I need to get rid of these cookies before they go bad, and I want to escape Chris." Blair said. "I'd say this works out."

Kyra glared even harder. "Why can't you give somebody else cookies?"

"Because he's facing his fear right now and obviously in serious comic withdrawal right now and looked like he could use a cookie."

The Tortoise girl just gave her a defiant stare. "I don't like you anymore."

"I can see that." Blair nodded, the insult sliding right past her.

"I don't trust you either and I think you have other thoughts than cookies."

"Ha! You do realize who you're talking to right?"

"I think you're eviler than you look."

The tomboy rolled her eyes. "Definitely."

Kyra just pointed at her own eyes with two fingers, and then turned them around to point at Blair's. "I'm watching you."

"What_ever_."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "What was up with Kyra? Did I have 'suspect me of something stupid' written across my chest or something? She was so untrusting!" The tomboy crosses her arms. "I don't know about what she thinks, but there's not really anything there at the moment with me and Russell. He's nice and all, but do you really think _I'd_ fall for somebody like Kyra obviously has? No." She shakes her head. "All this over a stupid cookie…"

Kyra: "Blair's not bringing Russell for cookies. She has an ulterior motive… I don't know what that means, but she does." She sneers at the camera, a foreign expression compared to her usually pleasant ones. "Blair is evil, I just know it. Ever since she hit me in the face with a sand ball. Yes, I was fine with her the next challenge, but she's evil! She's going to ruin my friendship with Russell by butting in!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Okay, Mr. Fearless, you're up." While Jayna and Kestrel had stayed behind to watch the three stand in place on the poles, the remaining campers and Chris had walked down to the Mess Hall. Tom stepped confidently from the group. Chris just gave him a look. "You look chipper."

"I don't think you can legally have somebody literally eaten alive, so I'm just excited to see me not have to do anything." Tom smiled.

Chris smirked. "You're right, we can't have somebody _literally_ be eaten alive." When Tom triumphantly put his hands on his hips, he pulled out an object from behind his back. "We can, however, _virtually_ do it."

Tom's arms fell limp when seeing the virtual reality goggles in the host's hand. An intern came out from the kitchen wheeling what looked like a high tech barber shop chair. The chair had a pair of gloves strapped to its arms that had what looked like little electronic sensors attached to them. The back of the chair was bumped and it had a seatbelt that went around the waist.

"So, Mr. Confident, you willing to sit in the chair?" Chris asked.

Tom actually hesitated for a moment. He was fully aware of his competitors and teammates watching him think, but that didn't really matter right now. All that mattered was his fear…

He sat in the chair and slipped his hands into the gloves. They fit tightly and were heavy weight, and the little dots on them pressed into his skin. The intern fastened the seat belt, positioned his feet so they were flat on the floor, and then placed the virtual reality helmet over his eyes.

"Are you ready to be eaten alive?" Chris asked Tom.

Tom swallowed the knot in his throat. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Press the button." At this order, the intern pressed the on button.

The gloves suddenly tightened, the chair suddenly adjusted itself to an awkward angle, and Tom started to fidget.

"Oh my god, are those bugs?!" he asked, obviously to himself. "And vultures?! And… ah! Oh my god, I can feel it! Ah! AAAAHHH!"

"Okay, Josh, you stay here in case he wants to quit. The simulation lasts about fifteen minutes." The intern gave Chris a thumbs up. "Meanwhile, I'm going to need _Kyra_ down at the lake. And bring your bathing suit."

Kyra screeched.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Chris: "How did we afford the virtual reality gear? We had Chef do some… odd jobs." The host laughs hysterically. "He looked _so_ friendly in his Ronald McDonald costume when the kiddies ran up to him."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Is this really _safe_?"

"Yes Kyra, people go swimming underwater all the time."

"But… in a lake this deep?!"

"Kyra, Geoff and Bridgette swam in this lake all the time last season."

"But it's so deep!"

"It's only like six feet max."

"But it's SCARY!"

Chris just gave her the '_Duh_, bra' look. "You do realize I don't care, right?"

Kyra stood awkwardly in her pink and white swimsuit on a rowboat in the middle of the lake with Chris and a cameraman. She was staring wide-eyed at the lake beneath them, bouncing up and down nervously with her top teeth practically clamped onto her bottom lip.

"All you have to do is stay underwater for one minute," Chris said. "That's it. Then you can get a point for your team and go get some cookies with Blair and Russell."

Kyra froze. She'd forgotten about Russell and Evil Blair for the moment.

"B-but it's dark…" Kyra whimpered, looking down at the water once again.

"Yeah, duh, it's water, are you going in or not?!" Chris asked.

Kyra looked at the water one more time and then looked up to where a couple of her teammates stood on the shore. She took a deep breath and then hopped over the edge of the boat, plunging into the water.

It was darker than she'd thought it was when she made the mistake of opening her eyes. Her vision was just this foggy murky color, somewhere between gross green and fog white and black, deep dark black, the same color as the room when she woke up from a nightmare.

The pressure changed and water filled her ears and covered her in icy cold, no, _colder_ than ice water. Her ponytail whipped around her as she floated, pale skin looking unreal and out of place and fake in the lake water.

Oh, how she wished the water was clearer

Suddenly, she wasn't floating. She was sinking. This was just like a nightmare she'd had once. She was alone, with nobody around her. Her friends, her family, gone, gone, nobody could help her now. They were all off at home or eating cookies with Evil Blair-

Russell. Russell was with Evil Blair while she sank in a lake in the dark all alone with no air in the silence. Cookies. She wanted so many sympathy- no, evil- cookies right now. She wanted cookies and she wanted to eat them with her friends on the Tortoises team and her friend Russell and she wanted Evil Blair away.

The water was so dark and deep.

She couldn't see the boat above her.

She screamed and clawed, trying to get out of the dark to her friends.

And Kyra emerged from the water screaming after 54 seconds. She failed her challenge.

When the boat pulled up to the shore she headed straight for the Devious Deer cabin.

**

* * *

**

Bum bum BUM! Cue sort of cliffhanger!

The TDI classic turned out to be the in my opinion the most overused challenge in all "Starring You" fics: Phobia Factor! It was too fun to pass up writing though. And didn't you love eerie similarities between Carrie's waterfall scene last chapter and Kyra's underwater scene this one? Speaking of which, the run on sentences during Kyra drowning were intentional.

Other than the group confession, a lot of characters had only one or two lines this chapter. Off the top of my head I know Irving, Lacey, and obviously Morty don't have any other than the confession. Sorry if that annoys you, but they all get there parts next chapter!

**So, who's side are you on: Team "She Stole My Friend!" Kyra or Team "I Wanted to Know If He Wanted a Cookie" Blair. This is so better than Team Jacob and Edward.**


	22. Ep7, Pt2: Friends Help in a Time of Need

**I am so, so, so, so, SO, SO, SO sorry for the wait between these chapters. Anybody who sticks with me is a saint. Also, sorry for the extreme length of this chapter… it's frickin' huge. 40 pages in word with the Author's Notes... longest yet. Ugh.**

**But onto a coolor and less procrastination involved note:**

**I seriously cannot believe this story's made it this far. Chapter Twenty… over 250 reviews… and still only on the seventh challenge. March 3****rd**** was technically the one year anniversary of TDI: A! and I was completely unprepared. And then GossipQueen101 (who was the one who reminded me of the anniversary) and I brainstormed and came up with this lovely idea:**

**The TDI: A! **_**Behind the Scenes Extra. **_**This will take place as one chapter after a reward challenge that happens halfway through the story. It's a behind the scenes look at the campers who are still in the game at that time including:**

**-Deleted scenes  
****-The campers interviewing each other  
****-A look into Chris's personal trailer  
****-Any reactions and regrets to certain campers being voted off  
****-What happens when the cameras aren't rolling  
-Questions from the readers/viewers**

**And lot's more! Eventually I'll be asking for viewers' questions to ask the campers during that special one (long) chapter segment, but not until it's closer. For now, the poll on my profile involves this if you haven't checked it out.**

**Oh, by the way: writing with a black eye is NOT fun. It's my good eye too. Oh, and the lame title will make more sense by the end. You will also hate me by the end of this. I promise!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Friends Help in a Time of Need**

"Oh no… oh _hell _no…"

"Oh yes." Chris McLean gave Aaron a smile of excitement. Only a few people had stayed behind to watch Kyra and see what she was doing. The rest had come to the boathouse to watch big bad Aaron conquer his fear.

Most of the objects in the room had been pushed against the walls, the only ones in the center being a chair, a television with several VHS tapes beside it, and a strange object that was covered in a red curtain. Most of the campers had no idea what was the problem, but Aaron looked like somebody had a gun to his head.

"You aren't going to…" He started, but then trailed off before he could finish the sentence.

"I am…" Chris nodded.

"You aren't!"

"I am!"

"No way!"

"Yes way! To face your phobia, you have to watch…" Chris walked up to the television and lifted up one of the video tapes. Aaron cringed at the image on the front. "The complete series of the English dub of Sailor Moon."

The leather jacketed teen dropped to the ground. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"And to make it better," Chris walked over to the mysterious red curtain. "We have our own Sailor Moon to watch with you!"

The host yanked the curtain off of the object and Aaron shrieked. Standing there was a young blonde woman wearing a complete Sailor Moon costume, her blonde hair in the iconic pigtails.

"In the name of the moon!" She pumped her gloved fist and Aaron backed away from her.

"Not Sailor Moon!!!" Aaron shouted. "Please, please, _please_ not Sailor Moon!"

"Aaron, meet Ashley… or Sailor Moon if you'd prefer." Chris said, putting a hand on the cute blonde's shoulder. "She'll be accompanying you in your Sailor Moon watching… if you choose to face your fear that is."

"Not this! No, not this!" Aaron blocked his eyes when looking at the girl in the Sailor Scout costume.

"Hey, man, it could be worse." Chris shrugged. "Originally we were planning on having your sister dress as Sailor Moon, but we couldn't find a costume in her size."

Aaron's eye actually started twitching at that. "You… would've had my _sister_ do it?"

"Yeah."

The overeater actually shivered in disgust. "Do you even _know_ what kinds of disgusting mental images that sentence came with?"

"Um… I'm guessing bad ones?"

After shuddering a few more times, Aaron surprised the host by walking over and sitting in the chair even as "Sailor Moon" started prancing around him. "Well, pop in the first tape. I think I'll be able to tolerate this crap after all."

Chris just gave him a look. "You aren't afraid?"

"Compared to having to see my sister in the costume, this is a piece of cake." Aaron seemed fully confident, even when he flinched as the Sailor Moon theme song started playing.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Aaron: "Yes, I was terrified. But when Chris said he wanted to have my sister in the costume…" The expression on his face said it all: he wanted to carve out his eyes with a spoon. "Frickin' disgusting…"

**End Confession Cam**

_

* * *

_

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The ticking from the little clock beside Chef Hatchet's medical bench seemed to echo through the entire First Aid Tent. It's constant repetitive ticking made Glisa want to flinch with each and every tick.

It'd been seven hours and twenty seven minutes since Glisa had entered the tent for her shift of watching Morty. Technically she should have been out of there six hours ago. But she liked being here, and not only because it got her out of her phobia challenge for the moment.

The silence was deafening though. She needed music, and she needed it fast.

She'd run and get her violin, but it was still wrecked from the whole snake debacle during the talent show.

About an hour ago, Chef had walked in here and dropped a bag on the ground, did a pulse check on Morty, and walked out. Glisa had been eying that bag ever since she started longing for music. A lot of people carried around iPods, right?

Within a minute, the Mexican girl had unzipped the bag and started rustling through it.

"Come on, _hombre, _tons of people carry around dere iPods. Be one of dose people, _por favor_." She plucked a pair of shorts from the bag that were blocking her view of its bottom, but stopped when hearing something fall to the floor from one of their pockets.

It was an orange pill bottle with a handmade label on it reading "Through the Woods, 30 pills, totally not roofies". There were only nine in the container.

"Why would he carry dese around?" Glisa asked, obviously not making the connection between the pills and the last challenge. She chucked the pill bottle over her shoulder and continued to dig through the bag. After clearing away several objects, Glisa shrieked in delight.

A black iPod Touch lay on the bottom of the bag.

She quickly pulled it out and turned it on, not caring what song was on. It was still music.

"TROGDOOOOOOR! TROGDOOOOOOR!"

Glisa screeched in terror at the screaming from the Ipod, dropping it to the ground in an attempt to cover her ears.

"BURNINATING THE COUNTRYSIDE! BURNINATING THE PEASANTS!"

Glisa dropped to the ground and attempted to press the next song button on the screen with her knee so she didn't have to uncover her ears. No luck.

"BURNINATING THE PEOPLES! AND THEIR THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!"

The party animal winced when she quickly uncovered one ear and pressed the next song button on the screen.

"STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE! BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART!"

"Eek!" Glisa yelped, pressing random buttons on the device. She'd change the song, but the volume was still blaring. "Where's de volume button on this thing?!"

"BUT IS HER SWEET EXPRESSION! WORTH MORE THAN MY LOVE AND AFFECTION!"

"Ah! Did it just get louder!?" Glisa kept pressing the buttons all over the touch screen, but that just opened up the Internet, logged her onto Youtube, checked the closest flight to Toronto, and put a very disturbing picture of Chef Hatchet in his duck floatie as the iPod's screensaver.

A hand on her shoulder and a friendly voice speaking over the music startled her. "DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?"

"_¡SÍ!" _She handed over the iPod before even checking who her savior was. After a few moments, Diana Ross's voice was completely silenced and she sighed in relief. "_Gracias,_" She turned around to thank her savior only for her eyes to bug out in surprise.

It was a very conscious Morty.

"Morty?!" She quickly got to her feet. "When did you wake up?! Does anyt'ing hurt? _¿Cómo te sientes?_" She put up four fingers. "_¿Cuántos dedos puedes ver?_"

"I'm fine, just really sore." Morty said, having no idea what she'd just said to him in Spanish. "I woke up a minute or two ago when this hit my head." He held up the orange pill bottle she'd chucked over a shoulder a few minutes ago. Glisa looked sheepish. "And not even a coma patient could stay unconscious through music that loud."

"It's not mine!" Glisa put her hands up innocently. "I took de iPod out of Chef's bag! I have _way_ better smell den dat!"

"I think you mean way better _taste_." Morty corrected with a friendly smile.

Glisa blushed. She'd been attempting _not_ to embarrass herself. "_Si_, right, dat."

"Why were you going through Chef's bag anyway?"

"Oh, well I'd been here so long and it was so quiet dat I just _needed_ some _música_."

"I guess that makes sense." Morty shrugged, his nose slightly scrunching when he felt how sore his shoulders were. "But wait… how long have you been here?"

Glisa bit her lip in embarrassment. "Um… _seis horas_."

Morty's eyes went wide. "_Horas_ means hours, right?" Glisa nodded. "Why-?"

"Dat's what a good friend would do, _¿verdad?_" Glisa interrupted before he could jump to any conclusion. "I couldn't just leave you here alone and asleep."

"Thanks for the company, I guess. That's really nice. I owe you one."

"It's noth-" Glisa was interrupted by her own stomach growling. She was this close to slapping her palm to her forehead.

Morty just smiled at that. "Miss lunch?" She nodded. "Well then, Glisa, would you do me the honor of eating in the Mess Hall with me?"

She stopped herself from squealing… just barely. But she kept her cool (actually, in her mind she had mixed up the phrase and thought she lost her hot) and gave him her best flirtatious smile. "I'd love to."

They walked out of the tent blissfully unaware of what was going on with the other campers.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Glisa: The party animal is swaying in her seat humming a flowy tune. After a minute she gives the camera a spaced out laugh, a look of utter bliss and a bright smile on her face.

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"And when I was seven, I'd actually thought I was the Green Lantern because I'd won a decoder ring in a cereal box. My sister has footage of me running around in my pajamas with a green napkin tied with eyeholes poked into it on my face shouting 'In blackest day! In blackest night! No evil shall escape my sight!'" **(1)**

Blair gave a smile to the suddenly talkative Russell as they sat on the porch of the Deer cabin with Kit-Kat's tray of celebratory-turned-sympathy cookies sitting between them. She wasn't really expecting to have to actually _listen_ to him talk considering he barely spoke a word around her. Fortunately his stories were actually pretty funny.

"And did you know my audition for this show was in the bathroom?! I didn't have the guts to do it myself, but Haley kind of just barged in there and…" Russell had shoved a cookie in his mouth before he could finish his sentence, obviously panicking without his comics.

"Sisters. Who needs them, right?" Blair related.

"You have a sister too?"

"Yeah. She's _way_ worse than Haley though." She explained. "Think the prissy "I'm Better than You" type. She totally hates me."

"That sucks." Russell replied, looking up when seeing something running towards them in the distance. "Hey… is that-"

"RUSSELL!!!"

"Kyra?" The tomboy and comic lover chorused as the childish girl ran full speed at them in her pink and white bathing suit, her wet ponytail flapping around behind her like a flag.

"Hey, slow down!" Blair shouted, eyebrows furrowing when the other girl seemed to pick up speed.

"Um, Kyra?" Russell warned as she got closer and closer. "Kyra, you're going to run into-"

"AGH!" Russell flinched when Kyra pounced on Blair, causing the tomboy to skid across the porch before hitting the railing on the other side.

"Don't take my friend away from me!" Kyra screeched. "You can't! He actually listens to me and he's nice and liked my story and-"

"Get off of me!" Blair shoved Kyra off of her and got to her feet. Kyra slipped on the puddle her dripping wet hair had left behind when she'd slid across the floor.

"Kyra, are you okay?" Russell asked, getting up to look at the long-haired girl who was now on her back.

Blair just sneered. "Is _she_ okay?! She just attacked me!"

"Something could actually be wrong," Russell insisted, leaning down over Kyra. "It could be like what happened to Haley-"

"Russell!" The comic geek's eyes bugged as a pair of slim arms clutched him in a bone crushing hug. "I thought I'd lost you to that evil, _evil_ Blair!"

"I'm right here you know!" Blair shouted.

"Do you hear something?" Kyra asked Russell.

"Why I ought to-!"

"Kyra," Russell interrupted Blair as he attempted to push Kyra off of him. "Do you feel okay? Maybe you want to go see Chef in the First Aid Tent so he can… I dunno, take your temperature or something?"

"Nope." Kyra said. "I'm perfectly fine now that you're away from that evil witch-"

"You know, my fist has been just dying to meet some skin _all_ week. I think Knuckles and your cheek would be the _best_ of friends- OH MY FRICKING GOSH!"

Blair was interrupted by Kyra leaping at her and clamping her teeth around her wrist.

"What the hell are you doing?! Get off of me you… you… ANIMAL!!!" Blair attempted to shake Kyra from her wrist. The childish girl just bit harder. "You freak, I said GET OFF OF ME!!" It wasn't until Blair kicked Kyra in the chest with one of her heavy combat boots. The brunette let out a deafening shriek as she fell onto the plate of cookies.

The tomboy cradled and examined her wrist. Indents surrounded it like a gauntlet.

Blair swore.

Russell panicked.

Kyra didn't react at all.

The sympathy cookies crumbled to bits beneath her.

* * *

"You aren't _serious_."

"I'm Chris McLean. I'm always serious."

"But… but this doesn't even make sense! I'm afraid of wearing… ugh, it hurts to even think about them… bland fashions! Not… _this_!"

"Would you stop whining and put the thing on?"

Carrie muttered under her breath before walking into the bathrooms with the bag Chris had handed her. Five minutes later she emerged dressed in an entirely new… um… "outfit".

The first thing everybody's eyes were drawn to was the beige potato sack worn like a dress over her body... an ugly, itchy dress that reeked of spuds. On her feet was a pair of hiking boots with highlighter yellow laces. The moss green boots had to be at least nine sizes too big and were caked in mud from the soles to the tongues. A hairnet pulled back her auburn curls and a pair of lime green swim goggles covered her eyes. Other than these strange pieces, the only articles of clothing she was wearing on her body were her underwear.

Sienna cracked up laughing. "Oh… oh my god…" She wiped a tear from her eye. "This is great!"

Instead of snapping something back, Carrie was trembling in her hiking boots. She was rubbing her arms up and down as if she had goosebumps.

"Are you okay?" Kit-Kat asked from the crowd.

"It… it burns…" Carrie's voice shook.

"Okay Carrie, your challenge is to stand 20 hours in bad fashion." Chris announced. "We'd do 24, but that'd be too close to the end of Russell's challenge."

Carrie could barely keep her balance she was so afraid. "I can't stand it… I qu-"

"Don't!" Tanya and Lacey, her only two teammates who remained in the audience, chorused.

"It's not _that_ bad…" Lacey clearly lied. "Heck, I think they wore potato sacks on one episode of I Love Lucy and claimed they were designer fashions!"

"Have some confidence!" Tanya encouraged. "You pulled off the Katie and Sadie thing with," she pointed a slender finger at the currently laughing Sienna, "_that_. _That_ is even dumber than a potato sack! Don't let the potato sack let you down!"

Carrie was still shaking… that is until Sienna started to laugh again.

"You know, that should be part of your new line Miss _Famous Designer_." The queen bee mocked. "I'm sure that fans would love you then!"

At that, Carrie finally put her booted foot down. "I'm doing the challenge."

Sienna immediately stopped laughing. "Huh?"

"Start the clock, Chris." The designer marched confidently past the host. "Carrie Madison never backs out from a challenge."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Sienna: "'Carrie Madison never backs out from a challenge.'" The queen bee rolls her eyes. "Blah blah blah… confidence and cockiness are two separate things, bratty Brit." She crosses her arms over her chest. "Plus, we all know I would've pulled that look off _way_ better than she did."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"How do you think they're doing up there?" Kestrel tried to squint past the sun to see the top of the poles that towered above him.

"I'm sure they're doing great." Jayna, who had plopped herself at the foot of the center pole (which just _happened_ to be Jake's), smiled. "I know he'll win."

Kestrel gave her a confused look. "Who's 'he'? Joe?"

Jayna shook her head. "Of course not."

"Wait…" Kestrel looked back up at the poles and seemed to count the people on them before exclaiming, "But Jake's not on our team!"

"Yeah… but we are kind of an _item_ now. I have to support him."

Kestrel gave her a confused look again. "…An item? You mean… like an _inanimate object_?! Who put a spell on you?! Why are you-?"

"No, no, no! Not like that! I mean like a _couple_."

"Oh! Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"

"I'll try and remember to next time, okay?" Jayna smiled, leaning her head back on the pole. Eventually the artist lied down in the grass nearby facing upwards so he could attempt to watch his friends (and Jake, who he didn't think he'd mind if he actually knew him) face their fear. It wasn't until a few peaceful, nature filled minutes later that Kestrel jumped to his feet.

"Somebody's falling!"

"What?!" Jayna jumped to her feet. Kestrel pointed a finger at one of the end poles where the silhouette of a person was flailing their arms. "Who is that?"

"It's either Addy or Joe." Kestrel squinted again. The figure's arms flailed again, dropping something that was in their hand.

The environmentalist and artist watched the object float to the ground as the person above squirmed. It eventually floated in front of their faces and then slowly fell to the ground in front of them.

It was a flower.

"Isn't that…" Kestrel fell silent as a group of bees surrounded the flower. "Darn it, Tanya was right! It does attract bees!"

That was when above, the figure that was now revealed to be Addy fell off of the pole and came hurtling to the ground with a piercing squeal. She hit the earth at full speed, freckled face landing in a cloud of dirt. Jayna and Kestrel rushed over to her.

"Are you okay?!"

"Oh my god!"

"Do you need an ambulance?!"

The hyper girl surprised them both when she pushed herself up on her own. She shook out her hair and wiped off the dirt from her clothes before speaking up.

"I don't think I'm afraid of heights anymore."

* * *

"Okay Kit-Kat," Chris positioned the blonde girl at the pitcher's mound. "All you have to do is stand here with this big glove to protect you," He plopped a baseball mitt onto the pastry chef's hand.

"O-o-okay." Kit-Kat replied. "Th-that's easy enough-"

"I'm not done yet." Chris interrupted. "Now, while you stand there Chef Hatchet here is going to be shooting baseballs at you from home plate through this ball launcher. You have to catch ten to w-"

A mouse-like shriek was the last thing anybody heard from Kit-Kat before she collapsed to the ground.

Chris laughed. "I love this show."

* * *

When the troop of campers who were sticking around while waiting for their challenges (Sienna, Tanya, Joe F, Lacey, Irving, and Daphne) followed Chris back to the Mess Hall for Irving's challenge, they hadn't expected the sight they were greeted with.

The first thing everybody noticed was that Tom was still screaming and hooked up to the virtual reality gear in the corner even though it had been well over fifteen minutes since they'd put him in it. Chris rushed over and shut the machine off.

"Bugs! So many bugs!" Tom screamed as Joe and Daphne started trying to yank the goggles off his eyes. Irving and Sienna clawed at the restraints holding him in as Chris looked around the room.

"Where is that stupid intern…?" He put his hands on his hips before calling. "JOSH?!"

"Huh?" The intern that had been in charge of Tom poked his head out of the kitchen.

"Didn't I tell you this things ends after fifteen minutes?!"

"Yeah. And?"

"After the first sitting it just goes on repeat! Ths is psychological torture! We don't need any lawsuits due to mental trauma, bra!" Chris shouted. "What were you doing back there?"

"Making these guys lunch." The intern jerked a finger over his shoulder. As if on cue, two unexpected faces walked out of the kitchen with sandwiches.

Morty and Glisa.

"You're alive!" Joe exclaimed when seeing his once unconscious teammate. Sienna started whistling catcalls at the pair. When Glisa gave her a dirty look for it, the brunette just gave her a friendly wink.

"When did you wake up?" Irving asked.

"A little while ago." Morty shrugged as he and Glisa took a seat at one of the tables.

"I'm alive!" Before anybody could continue to question the ladies' man, Tom had shot out of the chair he'd been in. "I'm not being eaten! Hallelujah!"

"Yeah, yeah," Chris said from his position scolding Josh the intern. "That's not important though. The important part is that you just scored a sweet point for your team!"

Tom glared at the host until his team started to congratulate him, causing him to break his angry expression.

"Did I give you permission to be happy?" Chris interrupted the cheering a minute later. "The only reason we came in here in the first place was for Irving to do his challenge."

All of a sudden, the doors to the Mess Hall burst open. In walked Chef Hatchet with one McDonald's bag, one Happy Meal container, and two drinks on a tray in hand.

"Sit down at the table, soccer boy." He pointed at Irving and then at a seat at a nearby table.

Irving paled and pointed at the McDonald's bag. "Is that…?" Chef nodded up and down in a creepy fashion. Irving looked like he'd hurl but sat down anyway. Chef plopped the bag and the larger soda down in front of him and then sat down by Morty and Glisa (who immediately moved away) with the Happy Meal. As Irving stared down the bag with a disgusted look on his face, Chef took a four-piece chicken nuggets and a Hot Wheels toy out of his box.

"Well?" Chris asked the jock. "Are you going to even open the bag?"

"Do I have to?" Irving questioned.

"If you want a point you do."

"Ugh…" The athlete reluctantly reached a hand into the bag, squirming in his seat. His teammates (and Tanya and Lacey) just watched with wide eyes. What could be in that bag? Eventually Irving pulled out an extra large box of fries, a Big Mac, and a little apple pie. His face was turning green.

"That's _it_?!" Tanya asked.

"What do you _mean_ 'that's it'?!" Irving asked. "Look at it!"

"It's a burger and fries." The drama queen crossed her arms. "That's pathetic. I could-"

"Hey! McDonald's is a perfectly reasonable fear!" Sienna defended. "Maybe he's afraid of… um…" She looked to Irving for support.

"It's disgusting," He answered, "and I actually _like_ the way I look."

Sienna had nothing to say to that. Tanya was still unimpressed.

"You're actually _afraid _to eat it?" Joe F asked. Irving nodded. "Wow, you are so _not_ American, knowwhatImean?" A few other campers (and Chris) chuckled a little. Irving still looked like he'd vomit.

"Are you going to eat it or not?" Chris asked, tapping his foot in impatience.

"Um…" Irving's eye twitched a little.

"You can do it!" Glisa cheered.

"It's just a meal!" Daphne supported. "It's not like there are twelve of them!"

"Yeah! It's just a little burger!" Morty encouraged.

"Do it for the team!" Tom exclaimed.

"Well… I guess if it'll help us win…" Irving clutched the burger with two hands, shuddering a little at its greasiness. "Ugh. I think I'm going to regret this." He slowly brought the burger to his mouth and took a tiny bite. He chewed with an exaggerated facial expression on his face as if he was being forced to eat nails instead of a hamburger. Finally he swallowed.

Only several more bites, a box of French fries, and a soda to go.

* * *

The sun was starting to set when Kyra burst into the girls' side of the Tortoise cabin and flopped onto the nearest bed, soaking the sheets in both water from her bathing suit and tears.

She wasn't sure what was going on. Russell and Blair had both run away with terrified looks on her faces. She barely knew what had happened there. All she could really remember was going underwater during her challenge and then suddenly hitting the Deer cabin's porch. The rest was just an adrenaline-fueled blur.

Fight or flight came to mind. She guessed she'd done both.

The water… the dark, scary water… it kept flashing before her eyes. Her heartbeat went wild whenever she thought about it. She didn't know what she was doing anymore because she was so terrified.

She got up and changed her clothing, remembering that the water on her bathing suit had come from the lake.

A pack of gum was sticking out of one of the girls' bags. She took a piece and chewed, trying as hard as she could to get that disgusting taste out of her mouth. She probably should've thought about what she was doing before biting Blair.

She wanted to say it was worth it though. She hoped she proved she was serious that she couldn't take away her friend.

But really who was her friend now? Blair was probably running to wherever the rest of her team was to tell them all about what happened. What if they all believed her? They all had to face their fears too. She'd proved that people weren't in their right minds when they had to face their fears.

She could see it now: the Tortoises all surrounding her and saying how stupid she'd been to do that. Blair would be leading them all, showing them her wrist and saying she'd do that to them.

The dark water in her thoughts was rising.

Kit-Kat, Daphne, Glisa, and Sienna would be so afraid they wouldn't let her sleep in the cabin that night. She'd have to lie on the porch in the cold rain. Hadn't Chris said it was supposed to storm that night?

The water in her head was up to her neck by now.

She'd go to dinner and there would be no food left. Chef Hatchet would probably not give her any if he had it. He'd serve everybody else something delicious and give her wood chips or something.

And all of her friends would laugh and point. It would be like living one of her nightmares.

The water in her thoughts was over her head as Kyra dug through her bag. She pulled out a pen and flipped her journal to a random blank page.

_Dear Diary,_

_Tomorrow morning I'm going to make everybody believe me. I'm the good guy. Blair's just making me seem bad._

_Hopefully she'll get voted off tomorrow._

_-Kyra_

* * *

"_Amara! Michelle!"_

The girl dressed like Sailor Moon pulled a Kleenex from the box as Sailor Uranus and Neptune died on the screen. She blew her nose in a rather unladylike fashion.

"Could you pass the tissues over here?" She nodded and passed them over to Aaron, who was blinking back the tears in his eyes. He pulled out a handful of tissues from the box and wiped his nose. "Damn anime…" That was when he saw the camera in the corner of the room. "Get that out of here!" He hopped out of the chair and chucked the tissue box at the camera. "Stop filming! I was _not_ crying over stupid Sailor Moon!"

* * *

"Come on Irving, just a few more fries!"

"You can do it!"

"Go Irving!"

Irving took another sip of the soda, drinking it right to the bottom where there was just ice. All he had to eat was about five fries and the pie and he'd be done.

He finished off the fries with a disgusted frown and picked up the little pie box. His slid the pie from the container and took a bite.

This was the fakest apple imitation he'd ever tasted.

"I think this might be worse than Chef's cooking." Irving muttered as he took another unenthusiastic bite.

"Tch." Chef rolled his eyes. "Yeah right."

Irving was down to the last bite of his pie when the door behind him opened and somebody shrieked at the top of their lungs.

"SHE'S GOING CRAZY!!!"

Startled by the outburst, Irving accidentally spit the last piece of pie out. It went rolling across the floor in a half chewed blob until hitting Chef Hatchet's shoe. He turned around to see Blair run into the room, Russell close behind.

"Who's going crazy?" asked Joe.

"Kyra!" Blair ran a nervous hand through her bangs, pushing them out of her face. "Just look what she did." The tomboy jerked out her wrist.

"Are dose teeth marks?" Glisa asked.

"Damn right they are." Blair nodded. "The little spaz bit me!"

"I'm sure she did it for a good reason." Daphne said, quickly adding an "I hope" under her breath.

"She also pounced on me and scraped me across the cabin porch." Blair continued. "The whole time she was screaming 'Don't take my friend Russell away from me!'"

"She squished the sympathy cookies." Russell mumbled.

"Where is she now?" Chris questioned.

"I think she's still at the cabin." Blair replied. "Why? Are you going to check her for rabies?"

"No, I just-"

The door opened again and in walked a soaking wet Jayna, Kestrel, and Addy.

"Addy?" Lacey questioned.

"I fell." Addy explained. "Oh, and it's raining." A crash of thunder proved her point.

"Wait. It wasn't thundering a minute ago…" Jayna's eyes widened. "Jake's still up on that giant pole!"

"… and Joe." Kestrel added in.

"What if Jake-"

"… and Joe." Kestrel added one more time.

"-gets shocked?!"

"There would have to be lightning for him to get shocked." Daphne pointed out.

As soon as she said that, the sky outside lit up with a flash of lightning. Jayna's eyes went wide. Joe F jumped into Sienna's arms in fear a Scooby Doo-like fashion. The queen bee dropped him immediately.

"JAAAAKE!" Jayna shouted.

"…and Joe." Kestrel added a final time.

"Hey Chris?" Irving asked as Jayna panicked. "Do I get a point now?"

"Um… yeah, no."

"What?!"

"You didn't technically _finish_ the meal." Chris said.

"Yeah I did!" Irving picked up the bag and showed him. "There's nothing in here. Not in any of the boxes, not in the bag, not in the drink-"

"You didn't finish the pie."

The jock lowered his eyebrows into a glare. "Excuse me?"

"You didn't finish the pie." Chris pointed to the piece of half-chewed apple pie on the ground. "Unless you eat that, you lose."

Irving's throat ran dry. "Are you serious?!"

"Yep."

The jock sneered and walked over to the pie on the ground. He picked it up and looked at it, then wished he hadn't.

There was a hairball stuck inside the fake apple.

"I'm not eating this." He said, jerking it in Chris's face. "Look at it! There's hair in it! Is the pie even part of the meal?"

"Considering Jake and Joe are out in the storm, I think you don't have it that bad." Chris shrugged. "It's just a little… okay, a _big_ hairball on a gross little pie."

Irving gave the host one last glare, the pie one last disgusted look, and then popped it into his mouth.

He was in the First Aid Tent with Kit-Kat five minutes later due to extreme vomiting.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Daphne: "_Ew_. That was just… _yuck_."

Blair: "Are they ignoring this whole Kyra might have rabies thing?!"

Jayna: "Jake, I hope you're okay!" the environmentalist clasps her hands together. "I'll be praying for you!"

Kestrel: "… and Joe."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"This is insane." Jake muttered, rubbing his arms and shivering as the cold rain poured on him. "We shouldn't have to do this."

"You said it man." Joe H nodded from the pole a few feet away from him. "I think my fingers just went numb from the cold."

"No offense, but I'm surprised you're still up here." The nature lover said. "You're not exactly coordinated, especially not when compared to Addy."

"I honestly haven't been seeing straight since I fell." Joe admitted. "I have no idea how I'm staying up here."

"How many fingers am I holding up right now?" Jake asked just for kicks, holding out two fingers.

Thunder cracked above them.

"Um… five?"

Lightning flashed and both teens tried as hard as they could to stay warm. It wasn't going to happen though.

"Hey, what's going on down there?" Joe pointed down to the ground near the cabins where one figure under a bright yellow umbrella and another unprotected stood.

* * *

"This is crazy!"

"No, _this_ is Total Drama Island."

Joe F clutched the metal pole he'd been given so tight that his knuckles turned white. "But… I could die."

"Not necessarily." Chris shrugged. "But maybe. If you do you signed some contracts and liability wavers."

"But…" The thunder crackled overhead just as Chef Hatchet in his Bucket Truck of Doom pulled up beside the host and comic artist. "What's he doing here?!"

"You didn't think we'd just let you stand on the ground with that, did you?" Chris asked.

"Yes!"

"Too bad! Get in the bucket!"

Joe swallowed heavily but stepped in the bucket on Chef's truck, nervously twiddling his fingers around the metal pole as he did so. When the truck started to bring him upward, his knees started to go weak.

The truck brought him higher and higher until he was at the same height Jake and Joe H were at.

"This is way too close to the cloud!" He said to himself. "I'm going to get shocked! I'm going to die! This is worse than being in an open field! I'm going to-"

Thunder cracked interrupting him. Less than a second later, a bolt of lightning struck his metal pole.

Joe screamed as a jolt of electricity ran from his head to his toes. Though he didn't know it at the time, one of his six hairs turned white.

* * *

That night at Camp Wawanakwa not many people slept. A few didn't sleep because they were forced to face their fear. A few didn't because they knew they had to tomorrow.

Kyra was up all night due to nightmares about water and Blair plaguing her mind. Her whimpering kept Glisa, Daphne, Sienna, and Kit-Kat (who'd regained consciousness from fainting a little after dinner) up as well.

Aaron returned to his cabin right before everybody attempted to sleep with a victory for the Tortoises. He was kept up by his growling stomach though. Tom was awake because of the feeling of bugs crawling up and down his spine and something tearing at his skin. Joe F and Morty slept, though Joe kept waking up because his feet were tingling because of the shock.

Irving was in the First Aid Tent with a case of food poisoning. It turns out it wasn't the hairball that had been his downfall, but a poorly made apple pie. He knew there was something wrong with those fake apples!

Russell was up all night because he didn't know the location of his comics. He'd seen an issue of Batman in the Mess Hall at dinner, but he'd resisted picking it up because he knew it was a trap planted by Chris. Kestrel slept pretty well, though Russell's constant shifting on his creaky mattress had kept him awake for a few hours.

The garbage bag/Kleenex box pajama ensemble she was forced to wear kept Carrie tossing and turning due to discomfort and thoughts of major magazines putting her on the Worst Dressed List. Addy was sore from her fall from the pole but she eventually fell asleep. Blair was awake for a while because she had kept her eye on the door, afraid Kyra was coming to bite her again. Tanya and Lacey slept soundly. Jayna, however, spent a good half of the night by the window watching the rain pour down on Jake. She flinched every single time the lightning flashed, just waiting for it to strike him.

Jake shivered the whole night through but somehow managed to keep his balance through the wind, chill, and rain. Joe H was obviously still seeing double from his fall because whenever Jake took a glance at him he was just kind of swaying in place. The rain didn't seem to be doing much to his balance at all.

Tomorrow would definitely not be a good day.

* * *

It was nine o'clock the next morning when Chris instructed Jayna and Sienna to come down to a field behind the amphitheater where the Talent Show was held. He told everybody else to go to breakfast. A couple of campers went to watch the challenges anyway.

The sun was bright in the sky as the two girls (and Tanya, Blair, Lacey, umbrella-holding Daphne, Aaron, Tom, and Kyra who had all decided to come along for either moral support or entertainment) passed by Jake and Joe H's wooden poles. Chef Hatchet was delivering them some slop- I mean breakfast via Bucket Truck of Doom. As expected, Jayna stopped to talk to Jake before Chef yelled at the group to continue on.

When they got to the field, Chris greeted them with his signature smirk. Two large buckets and a pair of shoes were at his feet.

"You all look terrible." He said. "I take it you couldn't sleep?"

"Hey, I got some sleep!" Tanya insisted. Lacey nodded in agreement.

Chris gave her a look. "You still look terrible. And speaking of you, spectators have to stay at least five feet that-a-way from this spot." The campers who weren't Jayna or Sienna took a few steps back. "Okay, now that that's covered, Jayna you're first."

The environmentalist stepped up to the host. When he picked up the buckets, she instantly realized what was in them. "Oh no…"

Each bucket was filled to the rim with trash. Balls of paper, crushed cups, fast food bags, soda cans, glass bottles, banana peels, the list was endless. Jayna's knees went weak.

"Jayna, your challenge would have lasted the whole time like Carrie's or Russell's if Chef Hatchet wasn't so lazy that he won't clean up all the litter." Chris explained. "So you lucked out. Your challenge now is to continuously litter from once you have these buckets in your hands to the end of Phobia Factor. If you run out of trash, just stop by the Mess Hall and somebody will load your buckets. Got it?"

Jayna had paled. "I can't litter! That's bad for the environment! The earth, it won't-"

"Yeah, yeah, nobody cares." Chris waved his hand in an "I don't give a damn" motion. "Will you do the challenge or not?"

Jayna thought about it for a moment. "Can I stay in one spot while I… ugh, it hurts to say this… _litter_?"

Chris shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"Okay then. I'll do it." Chris handed her the buckets and she removed a piece of trash from one of them. She cringed as she did it, but she dropped it to the ground in front of the host. "I'm sorry earth! I'll help you out later, I promise."

With that she walked off, apologizing every time she dropped a piece of trash. Everybody knew she was going to go sit by the wooden poles again.

"Sienna," Chris called. "You're up!" As the queen bee pretentiously walked up to him, the host bent over and picked up the crimson high heels from the ground. "Put these on."

Surprisingly enough, Sienna did as she was told with no protest. She must have been admiring the shoes. "How high are these?"

"Six inch I think." Chris replied. "But that's not the point. Your challenge is to walk through this minefield to that flag," he motioned behind him to the red flag waving in the distance, "with those heels on."

Tanya pointed a finger. "Haaaaaa!"

Sienna shrieked. "What?! But if I stepped on one I could die!"

"Probably not die." Chris… um… reassured. "Just paralyzed for life, burned badly, or just in general traumatized."

Sienna's jaw fell loose. "WHAT?!"

"Well, if you don't step on the mines you won't have to worry about that."

"Again… WHAT?!"

"Your challenge starts in fifteen seconds if you want to take it."

"But…" Sienna's eyebrows furrowed. "What if I do step on a mine?! I could-"

"Thirteen seconds."

"Come on Sienna! You need to win!" Aaron shouted from the sidelines.

"Just imagine you're on a runway or something!" Daphne encouraged.

"I can just see it now." Tanya snickered to herself. "Boom!"

Sienna gave the drama queen a glare. "Excuse me?!"

"I believe I said boom." Tanya repeated.

"Ten seconds." Chris chipped in.

"That's just evil!" Sienna pointed at Tanya.

"You did it to Carrie."

"Carrie deserved it."

"Eight seconds."

"She deserved it for what?"

"For… for being her!"

"Five seconds."

"That's a pretty stupid reason."

"Why do _I_ deserve it?"

"You're mean."

"So are you!"

"Three seconds."

"You know what I have to say to that?"

"Oh please tell, Oh _Great_ Tanya."

"Boom."

"Ugh!" Sienna stomped her heeled foot and crossed her arms. "I'll do it!" She marched past Chris in the direction that he'd told the spectators to stay away from. When she looked at the grass, she really had no idea if there were really mines in this field. Even if there _were_, nobody had said they were active.

"Here's to hoping they aren't…" she muttered to herself before taking a step forward. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the boom.

Nothing happened.

She slowly opened her eyes and made sure that both of her feet were still intact and then took another step forward. When she didn't blow up, she took one more step, this one much more confident than the rest. Still no explosion.

Now bursting with confidence, the queen bee started practically leaping through the minefield. She already had the idea in her head that there really weren't any mines underground and that Chris had just said it to scare her.

Tanya, realizing that her team didn't have any wins yet, wanted to see if the field actually had some mines in it.

She had to think quickly.

"Oh my god, is that Irving with his shirt off?!"

Sienna immediately stopped and rapidly turned around. "Where?!"

"Right there!" Tanya shouted, pointing behind her. "He's going up that hill! He looks like he needs help!"

"Sienna, don't!" Tom shouted.

"It's a trick!" Aaron agreed.

Sienna crossed her arms and glared at Tanya. "Tch. I'm not going to fall for that."

"Oh my god, is that…?" Tanya pretended to block the sun from her eyes and squinted. "It's Carrie! On the same hill! And she's-"

"GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU POTATO-SACK WEARING SKANK!!!" Sienna zoomed past Tanya and ran out in the distance to where she'd been pointing. The drama queen just snickered.

"Well," Chris looked after her with a disappointed look. "I guess she _technically_ ran in the opposite direction of facing her fear… which could kind of be considered running away from it…" The host thought for a moment before cupping his hand around his mouth and shouting to Sienna, "EPIC FAIL, BRA!"

The brunette still seemed to be searching for Carrie.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tanya: The redhead is cracking up on the toilet seat, her eyes watering from excessive laughter. After a moment, her laughing causes her to fall off of the seat. "Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" she hops to her feet with a face of disgust. "Who gets all of this crap on the floor?!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Well, well, look who's so rebellious and confident now."

"T-T-Tanya, I've n-never actually done anything bad to _you_, so p-p-_please_ shut up." Lacey was literally shaking in fear.

"What's your problem?" Blair elbowed Tanya in the arm. "She's obviously trying as hard as she can not to run away right now."

"She kind of looks like she's going to collapse." Tanya observed when Blair had pointed out the nonconformist's shaking legs, wide eyes, and skin practically as pale as Daphne's.

The dirty, ruffled white dress wasn't helping her situation any more. This distressed garment was obviously made for somebody at least a foot taller and with a lot better posture. The fact that it looked like it had been in a dumpster for the past twenty years probably contributed to its homeliness too.

Overall, Lacey just looked like a terrified little kid playing dress-up. When Chris McLean walked up to her, his lips curled into a pleased smirk.

"This is even better than I thought it'd be." He snickered. Lacey opened her mouth to crack something back at him. All that came out was a strangled, terrified whimper. "All you have to do is walk down the pretend aisle, and that's it. You can run if you really want to."

There were chairs set up in groups with one aisle running between them in the grass beside Chris. This setup could easily be seen as children playing airplane or just a game of musical chairs gone wild. Lacey was still terrified though. It was too similar.

"Lacey, it's just some chairs!" Blair pointed out.

"Yeah, (I can't believe I'm saying this but) what she said!" Tanya chipped in.

The spectator Tortoises were silently watching (except for Kyra, who had snarled a little at Blair speaking), all keeping back any laughs about the setup. Three out of four of them had already gone through their challenges. It was harder than it looked.

"There is n-n-no way I can do this." Lacey said, giving Chris, Tanya, and Blair a kicked puppy expression. "It's too-"

"CHRIS! Have you been messin' with my iPod?!" All heads turned to Chef Hatchet, who was running up to the host with a black iPod in hand… in only a towel.

"I haven't-" Chris was interrupted by a high pitched scream in terror. Next thing anybody knew, Lacey had thrashed her way through the mock aisle to the other side.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, _ew_!" She covered her eyes. "What is _wrong _with this show?!" She immediately started walking towards the bathrooms, already starting to shed the dress.

"Does she even realize she just finished the challenge?" Chris asked. From the way Lacey slammed the bathroom door, everybody guessed no. "Okay, well Blair's challenge is next so I'm going to go have to make an announcement. You dudes can just head towards the cabins."

As the few campers that remained in the small group began to drift in the direction Chris instructed, Kyra smiled a smirk that was too cruel for her sweet face.

It was time.

* * *

"So… why does _everybody_ have to be here to see this?"

Blair crossed her arms and raised a bitter eyebrow at Chris McLean, who stood across from her in front of the cabins. Circled around them were most of the other campers and Chef Hatchet. The only people missing were Jake and Joe H since they were obviously still doing their challenge; Jayna, who refused to move because she was padding the ground beneath the poles with litter in case Jake fell; Lacey, who was burning the dress she had been wearing behind the communal bathrooms; Irving, who was still in the First Aid Tent; and Sienna, who nobody had seen since she'd run after "Irving" during her challenge.

"To make a long story short," Chris replied. "Your challenge was supposed to be a long one like Carrie's or the height challenge or Russell's, but our UPS delivery of the supplies we needed for your challenge didn't come in until this morning. So to make up for the time, we figured we could just make you do your challenge with everybody staring."

The tomboy rolled her eyes. "That's _so_ nice of you."

"I know, I'm a saint," Chris grinned as Chef Hatchet handed him a stack of hot pink fabric. The host jerked the pile out to Blair. "Here ya go."

She sneered as she took the stack, and then looked down to see what it was.

Hot pink clothing.

Blair shrieked and dropped the pile to the ground. "No! No, no, no! I'm not embarrassing myself like that!"

Chris just smirked. "Blair, your challenge is to wear these _lovely_ items of clothing and act like the most feminine girl you can be for a half an hour."

Blair looked distressed. "But… in front of _everyone_?!"

"It'd be on TV anyway." Chris shrugged. "It's just kind of humiliation in advance."

"That doesn't make it any better!"

"I never said it did."

"Well then there's no way I'm doing thi-"

"DON'T!" Addy, Kestrel, Tanya, Russell, and Carrie shouted in sync from the surrounding circle.

"Chris is just being a jerk!" Addy said.

"Yeah. He's just trying to make the clothes look like scary monsters that'll melt your brain and eat you as soon as you put them on-"

"KESTREL!" Addy clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shut up! We _want _her to do the challenge!"

"Blair, they're just clothes!" Carrie shouted. "Extremely tacky ones at that, but that's beside the point! I'm wearing a potato sack! You can wear some pink clothing for a half hour!"

"But… they're _pink_!" Blair screeched. "And I have to be _girly_!"

"Blair, we need to point!" Tanya insisted. "Addy's already failed hers, we all know Joe doesn't have enough coordination to stay up there longer, I'm sure Jayna's already planting a tree to apologize to nature for littering, I saw Russell attempting to bribe Chef this morning for an issue of Batman-"

"I wasn't!"

"Nobody cares Russell." Tanya stated. "But think about it: the Tortoises already have a point from Aaron, Irving, Tom, Chrome Dome-"

"I have a name you know!" Joe F interrupted.

"You have ugly hair that I'd fix but I'm afraid to touch. That's all that matters."

"But… we have Lacey's point!" Blair pointed out.

"That's _one_." Tanya crossed her arms.

"But… Carrie's definitely going to get hers! And maybe Kestrel…" Tanya, Russell, and Carrie all gave her a look that clearly said 'Kestrel? Really?' "Okay, maybe not Kestrel, but the rest you'll probably get one… except Tanya."

"Come on Blair!" Addy encouraged. "Just take one for the teamje! We'll make it up to you if you win!"

"Yeah! Definitely!" Carrie agreed. She turned to Addy and whispered under her breath, "_We will?!"_ Addy just shrugged.

"How will you make it up to me?" Blair, stubborn as always, crossed her arms.

"Um…" Carrie exchanged glances with Addy, her look clearly saying _'You came up with this!'_

"We'll keep Tanya away from you for a day!" Addy shouted.

Blair's expression lightened at that. "Really?"

"Totally!"

"Only if I win?"

"Yep."

"You promise?"

"Sure."

"Chris, I'm doing the challenge."

* * *

"Two aces."

"One two."

"Two threes."

"Two fours."

"Bullshit!"

"Darn…"

"One five."

"Two sixes.

"One seven."

"Bullshit!"

"That's it, where is she?!" Tanya slammed her cards down on the ground as Kestrel and Addy high fived.

"Don't be such a sore loser Tanya." Addy teased.

"It's not that, it's just that I'm sick of waiting for her!" Tanya insisted. "She's been in that bathroom for forty five minutes."

Though nobody would really admit it, Tanya was right. Chris had sent Blair into her cabin to change over a half an hour ago. The campers had all given up on waiting for her but were forced to stay in case she decided to finally come out. Doing practically nothing for forty five minutes was not fun.

"Can't you get her out of there?" Tanya marched up to Chris, who was currently lounging in a chair with an umbrella over his head. "It's been forever!"

Chris lifted his sunglasses up on top of his head. "Get who out of where?"

Tanya gave him a look of disbelief. "_Blair_!"

"She's still in there?!"

The drama queen was practically fuming. "Yes," she spoke through gritted teeth. "She's been in there for forty five minutes."

"Oh, yeah, right." Chris slid his sunglasses back onto his nose and then walked up to the Devious Deer cabin door. With the gracefulness of a rhinoceros, he pounded on the door. "Blair, get out here right now or you lose your challenge automatically!"

"But… I look ridiculous!" The tomboy's wavering voice sounded from inside.

"That's the point!" Chris said. "Now get out here or you lose!"

The door to the cabin swung open, hitting the host in the head, and out stepped… um…

"Blair?!"

"Like oh my god, don't you guys just, like, _totally_ _love_ these shoes?"

Standing on the porch of the cabin was what could only be described at the anti-Blair. Her familiar blue bangs had been side swept so they weren't too far into her lined eyes, a decorative pink barrette clipped onto the side of her head the bangs weren't swept towards. Face glitter donned her pale face and her lips were pouted outwards in a totally uncharacteristic expression. She was dressed in a pink halter top and an equally pink miniskirt, her slim hand propped up on her jutted out hip. Topping off the whole outfit were pink high heels and a sequined purse that she held in the crook of her arm.

The campers gaped.

Chris gaped.

Blair giggled.

"You guys are, like, _soooo_ funny!" She slowly walked down the cabin stairs, obviously having a hard time in the shoes. When she reached the ground, she strutted her way into the middle of the circle of campers and struck a pose. "So, like, oh my god, did you know that there was a buy one get one sale on shoes _and I missed it_? I am, like, _soooo_ pissed!"

Nobody got up from their spots on the ground. They were all too shocked to even breathe…

All but Kyra.

"Wow, you really are a girl!" She commented, sounding as naïve as a toddler. Blair glared at her but didn't break her act.

"Well, like, of _course_ I am." Blair swung the bag over her shoulder and struck another pose. "Could a boy work these heels like I do?"

"Well," Kestrel interrupted. "Maybe if I tried hard enough-"

"No! They couldn't." As if to prove her point she walked across the circle, sashaying her hips. About halfway through her walk she stumbled, but continued to walk anyway. She stopped in front of where Tanya was sitting. "Oh my god, it, like, totally sucks that you spilled that all over your shirt."

"What?!" The drama queen hopped to her feet and attempted to brush off her shirt. "Where is it?! Where?!"

"Oh, my bad, guess it was just a shadow." She waved her hand in a casual manner and walked away. "Sorry!"

"I hate you." Tanya muttered, crossing her arms and brushing off a spot on the ground to sit on.

"You have to admit," Carrie spoke to the drama queen. "She _is_ doing a pretty good job." She watched as Blair bent over and said something to Morty, cocking one leg up in the air. Glisa sneered at the tomboy from the spot beside the flirt.

"Yeah," Tanya agreed with a stubborn pout on her face. "She didn't have to take it out on me though."

"Didn't you kind of expect it?" Carrie asked, adjusting her potato sack dress.

"Still."

"You know," Blair put her dumbest look on her face as she put her hands on hips in front of Daphne. "If you got a tan, you'd definitely be, like, _totally_ one of the prettiest girls here!"

Daphne rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

"No problem!" Blair smiled widely as she strutted across the circle again, this time standing in front of where Kyra between Kit-Kat and Joe F. "You know," she looked between Joe and Kit-Kat, "I'd be, like, really careful if I were you."

"Why?" Kit-Kat questioned.

"Because there's, like, a leash law that says you, like, have to keep your puppy on a leash if it isn't properly trained." She gestured towards Kyra, whose jaw dropped in offense. "This one looks like she _bites_. Wouldn't want her to gnaw either of your faces off."

"Why are you being such a meanie?!" Kyra asked, her eyes sparkling with the hint of tears.

"I'm, like, totally not being a meanie!" Blair said. "I'm just, like, _warning_ them!"

"Tch! No you're not!" Kyra shouted. "You're acting just like Sienna!"

Blair stayed silent. Somebody behind her whispered, "Ooh, diss."

"It's- it's not nice to make fun of somebody when they're not here." Blair tapped Kyra on the nose with her index finger and then moved around the circle. Kyra resisted the urge to bite off the finger and just kept her kicked puppy look on her face. She knew if she acted out now her plan would be ruined. When she spotted an object she could use behind Kit-Kat, she inconspicuously picked it up and hid it behind her back for the next time Blair walked over here.

In the meantime, the… um… tomboy was telling Joe "how, like, _totally chic_" the white streak on his hair looked. The comic artist's eyes bulged and he ran off to the bathroom to check out his head, completely unaware of the streak she was talking about.

"He really didn't, like, know that was there?" Blair asked, watching as the teen ran up to the bathroom door.

"It's obvious he dyed part of his hair so it'd look like mine." Aaron proudly pointed out the white stress streak in his hair. "Clearly I'm his idol-"

"HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" The campers looked over towards the communal bathrooms, where Joe F had just kicked an ash covered Lacey out the door. The brunette shouted some expletives at the door before marching towards the gathering of campers.

"Like, oh my god, your clothes and, like, your hair and stuff are, like, _totally_ ruined!" Blair commented, pointing at the ash coating the nonconformist.

Lacey gave the tomboy's appearance one long look before shaking her head. "I don't even want to know…"

"What happened to _you_?" Tanya asked when Lacey plopped herself down between Carrie and Kestrel.

"Long story short, I burned the dress, the fire was big, I was in the bathroom trying to wash the soot off, and Charlie Brown kicked me out."

"That is, like, a totally traumatic story!" Blair faked a sniffle. "I am, like, _soooo_ sorry for you!" The pink-clad girl turned around. "Does anybody, like, have a tissue or something?"

"I do!" Kit-Kat pulled out a little packet of Kleenex.

"That's, like, great!" Blair started to make her way across the circle to the pasty chef. That was when Kyra threw out the piece of her plan…

A stone.

The tomboy didn't see the rock in her path and her heel caught on it, sending her face planting into the dirt. Kyra let out a small giggle. As soon as she laughed, Blair hopped back up.

"Who just laughed?!" She shouted. When seeing Chris lift his sunglasses from the corner of her eye, she cleared her throat. "I mean… like, who laughed?"

Kyra tried to hide her next laugh, but Blair saw her raise her hand to her mouth.

"I, like, knew it was you!" Blair pointed her finger, the purse hanging from the crook of her arm swinging in the arm movement. "I'll bet you, like, put that rock there too!"

"Why would I ever do that?" Kyra asked, her bottom lip quivering.

"I don't know, cuz you're, like, a… a… I don't even know!" Blair threw her hands up in the air in anger. "All I know is you're, like, acting so weird. I, like, don't know you all that well or anything… ugh, forget it! Why are you doing this?!"

"Blair," Tanya warned, "the challenge-"

"I don't really care about the challenge, I'm tired of this!" Blair dropped the purse and kicked off the heels in one quick movement. "What have I ever done to you? You were perfectly fine with me a few challenges ago!"

Kyra opened her mouth to speak, to give everybody the "poor me" speech she had built up in her head. The words had built up in her throat but didn't come out leaving her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. It was just like she was under the water again… no way to talk.

"Um… I…"

"Well?" Blair put an impatient hand on her hip, the hand that Kyra had bitten. "I want an answer. I'm not here to make enemies."

"I… I…" Kyra blinked back tears. "It… I…"

"Well? I'm waiting!"

"It's always about you!" The childish girl got to her feet and stood around eye level with the tomboy. "I want the boy and he goes to you, the one who looks like a boy! I offer sympathy and he goes to you! I ask him if he's okay, and he runs off with you to your cabin! Well ya know what? _You're_ the reason I couldn't stay underwater for those few seconds! I was so scared you'd take away the first friend on the island that listened to me and it was dark I…" That was when the tears started pouring. "All I had last night were nightmares! Nightmares about deep water and you as an evil octopus like Ursula from the Little Mermaid and that's all I can think of! And I want to say I'm sorry, but I'm not!"

The childish girl stormed off in tears to the Tortoises' cabin leaving Blair, the other campers, and most of her teammates' impressions of her behind.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Blair: "I… um…" The tomboy scrambles for words. "I… I don't even know what to say anymore."

Russell: "What did I ever do to be in the middle of _this_?" He cups his chin in his hand. "I should've just stuck to not talking like I did for the first few days."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"I have to follow up to _that_?"

"What do you mean 'follow up to'?"

"She was actually doing _well_ for a while!" Tanya pointed out. "Plus she went out with a bang."

Lacey rolled her eyes at Tanya from her spot at the Devious Deer table in the Mess Hall. The drama queen was sitting at the front of the room in a wooden chair while the campers who'd come from the last challenge (minus Blair, Kyra, and Joe F) were at their teams' table.

"Okay," Chris walked through the door (fashionably late as always) and walked to stand in front of Tanya. "You ready for your challenge?"

"No."

"Great!" Chris turned back towards the door. "Oh Chef!"

The door from the kitchen swung open and in walked Chef Hatchet with a bucket in his hands He sat in the wooden chair that was set up across from Tanya with a sinister smile and plopped the bucket in front of her.

"You know what happens next, don't ya?" Chef asked, lifting up one of his feet and starting to untie one of his boots. Tanya nodded nervously as Chef pulled off the shoe and then the dirty sock underneath revealing his foot.

"Oh dear god!" Tanya instantly put a hand to her nose and scooted her chair backwards. "When was the last time you've washed that putrid thing?!" Chef shrugged and pulled off his other boot and sock. "That smell! It's _terrible!"_ Behind Chef, the campers were all reaching for their noses. Kit-Kat and Daphne actually left the room in disgust.

"Oh, I know about the smell." Chef snickered as he put both of his feet in the bucket of water, pulling out the sponge and bar of soap floating in it and handing them to Tanya.

"Oh god…" Tanya's eyes bugged at the sight of the items. "I have to- _wash those?!"_

"What'd you think we'd make you do?" Chef asked. "Kiss them?"

"Oh dear god, don't make me hurl!" Tanya gagged a bit.

"Hey, the thought of your mouth touching your feet doesn't make me smile either." The cook sneered. "Who knows where that's been?!"

"Tanya," Chris spoke up. "Your challenge is quite obviously to wash Chef's feet."

"I don't get a gas mask or something?" Tanya's eyebrows furrowed.

"Couldn't afford it with all the money we spent on the virtual reality machine."

The redhead grumbled but took the sponge and soap from Chef. She gave them a long look. "Do I really….?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Tanya!" Addy waved her hands around in the air. "I had an idea!"

"Does it have _anything_ to do with the challenge?" Addy nodded her head rapidly. "Then spill it!"

"If you wash his feet, the smellje'll go away!"

"Huh." Tanya smiled at her teammate. "That actually makes sense for once."

"I know. Unbelievable right?" Addy grinned proudly at her idea.

"Definitely." The drama queen started to lather up the sponge and then looked at her enemies.

Chef wiggled the warty appendages back at her.

And then she started to scrub. Carrie and Glisa ran out of the room green-faced as the smell started to carry even thicker into the air. The rest of the campers just stared in amazement and abhorrence.

Slowly the almost green feet started to turn to the same color as the rest of Chef's skin. Some of the boils and warts crusted off into the water, causing Tanya to gag but still continue with her job.

Ridding the universe of these disgusting abominations would get her one step closer to her perfect world after all.

When she was fully done with one foot and was starting on the other, however, Tanya's first obstacle entered the room.

"Okay, so I checked everywhere and Irving isn't out there- what the hell is that terrible smell?!"

A queen bee going by the name Sienna Van Der Woodsen still wearing a pair of hot red six inch heels.

The brunette's brown eyes went wide when seeing the sight in front of her. "Are you… _washing his feet_?"

"Shut up Sienna." Tanya ordered as she scrubbed the fungus/barnacle/wart _things_ from in between Chef's toes.

"And I almost missed this?!" Sienna excitedly sat down at the Tortoise table, slender fingers still clutching her nose. "You're like his maid!"

"Did I not just say shut up?" Tanya snarled.

"This is called revenge miss 'I'll say boom during a challenge involving mines'."

"It got you to fail, didn't it?"

"Oh, I'll bet you'll get warts on your hands now!" Sienna smiled at the thought.

"They'll look like little toads!" Addy smiled in agreement. "That'd be _uber_ cool!"

"Addy! You're supposed to be on my side."

"Sorry Tanya," the hyper girl replied, "but Sienna and I ventilated yesterday."

"Vented." Sienna corrected.

"Close enough."

"Addy!" Tanya almost dropped Chef's foot in shock. "She's on the other team! And she's _Sienna_!"

"Hey, I was just trying to _medicinate_ like Bren used to do. She talked to me!"

Tanya grimaced at Addy. "I thought you were on my side."

"I am."

"Then why were you talking to the enemy?"

"Everybody else does it." Addy crossed her arms stubbornly. "What are you? Heather?"

Tanya glared at Addy, but that only got her to scrub harder. When one final piece of grime flaked off a couple minutes later, she dropped the foot back into the bucket.

"Done!"

Chef lifted his feet out of the bucket and examined them thoroughly. He then turned to the crowd to give his verdict. "Sparkling."

Kestrel, Russell, and Lacey (the only Deer left at the table other than Addy) clapped and cheered for the drama queen as she stood up and ran to the sink in the kitchen. Addy just stuck out her tongue at the redhead as she passed.

"That's how we Deer do it!" Tanya shouted from the kitchen, the comment obviously directed at Sienna. The queen bee just frowned, taking her place with the other Tortoises that were still in the room.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tanya: "Ugh! That was disgusting!" She wipes her hands off one more time on the toilet paper roll that is hanging beside her. "It was, however, one step closer to a perfect world."

Sienna: "This isn't a win for her. No way. I've got Addy now… I think." The queen bee doesn't look very confident in that fact. "I'm not exactly sure. She's kind of unpredictable. _But_ I do have a much better team. 'That's how Deer do it' she said. Well, we'll show her how Tortoises do it when we win this challenge."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Father, I know this isn't like me to ask for things, but could you _please_ do this one thing for me.

"Yes, I know you're a very busy man but this could be a threat to my health. If you could see the shade of my skin right now…

"Sigh. Yes, I know you're _very_ occupied right now, but can you imagine what wonders this would do for your reputation in the public eye? Total Drama Island is a very popular show. Viewers would probably admire you for your kindness to your one and only daughter.

"Yes, I know they think highly of you already. If you think about what this could be seen as! They could think more of our family than the Vanderbilts!

"… Thank you so much!"

Daphne pulled the cell phone away from her ear and handed it to Chris. "It's for you."

Chris just raised an eyebrow as he put the phone to his ear. "Hello?" His eyes went wide at the voice on the other line. "Oh, hello Mr. Sherman sir!" He marched away from the crowd of campers in front of him.

"You called your father?" Kit-Kat questioned.

"Yes." Daphne nodded.

"Do you really think what he says can overpower Chris's lawyers?"

"This challenge could be a threat to my health." Daphne pointed out. "You can already see what happened to my skin from the woods challenge. Any more damage could land me in the hospital."

Before Kit-Kat could answer with a sympathetic statement, Chris snapped the cell phone closed and tucked it back into his pocket. "Daphne, you're excused from your challenge due to lawsuit and health risks and a very persuasive father. Instant point for the Tortoises."

"What?!" The six members of the Devious Deer all had matching gaping expressions.

"Hey, I can't fight a man with as much of a good reputation as Mr. Sherman." Chris shrugged. "Anything bad said about me from him and my reputation's down the drain."

"_What_ reputation?" Aaron questioned from the crowd.

"Exactly." Chris said. "Can't get any lower than that." A few campers stifled a laugh at that completely true statement. "Kestrel, you're up."

The artist jumped as the host led the group around the building. Meanwhile, Joe Freeman tried to catch up from where he'd been examining his hair in the bathroom.

"Hey! Hey guys! She was right!" The comic artist took a place in the group beside Morty, Glisa, and Aaron. "It took me a while, but I finally got the spot in the mirror just right and one of the hairs on the back of my head _is_ white!"

"Well one of us could've told you that." Morty commented.

Joe gave him a look. "What do you mean?"

"It's been like that since you came back from your challenge last night."

Joe's expression fell. "What?!"

"It's probably from de lightning." Glisa pointed out.

"Don't worry." Aaron clapped the smaller male on the back. "I approve. Now I'll have a white streak following."

Joe laughed at his teammate's comment as Sienna casually slid back to where they were standing.

"Hey Joe," the queen bee spoke. "You want to do me a favor?"

The comic artist glared at the queen bee. "Why would I ever want to do something for you? All you are is mean to me."

"I know, I know." Sienna put up her hands in defense. "But wouldn't you like to get back at Tanya for the whole portrait of her thing from a few episodes back?"

"Um…" Joe took a look at the redhead who was walking a few feet up ahead. She was talking to Kestrel with a smug look on her face. "Yeah. I do. She almost got me voted out!"

"Good, now here's what I need you to do…"

* * *

"This… is… SO COOL!!!" Kestrel had an expression of utter joy on his face as two interns finished covering him from neck to toe with bird seed and maple syrup to keep the seed stuck to him. The artist, who was tied to a short wooden pole that raised him just off the ground, flapped his arms around in excitement. "It's like I have a second layer of skin! Maybe I'll shed it off like a snake!"

"Kestrel, you do realize why we're doing this?" Chris questioned.

"Are you turning me into a snake?" The artist questioned, his elated expression not fading.

"No, you have to sit through five minutes of being pecked by your fear-"

"CA CAW!!!"

"Oh! There they are now!"

Kestrel's eyes widened as an intern propped a helmet on his head and a swarm of crows flew towards him.

"AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Joe Freeman opened up the door to the guys' side of the Devious Deer's cabin and crept inside, ignoring Blair's groaning in frustration from the girls' side.

"This is so wrong…" he muttered to himself.

"_In order to get back at Tanya," Sienna had explained, "you have to hit her team."_

The comic artist looked around the room at the three sets of bunk beds, each with only one bed made. He walked over to the first bunk, took a guilty pause, and then started going through their belongings.

"_Obviously the three Deer guys are geeks, right?" Sienna had said. "So since they're geeks, obviously somebody other than Russell's bound to have a stash of comics, right?"_

"_Do you really believe dat Sienna?" Glisa had questioned._

"_Oh yeah. Nerds always have comics."_

_Joe F had just rolled his eyes but went along with it._

The tag on the inside of the first bag said Russell, so the artist moved onto the next bunk since he knew all of Russell's comics were gone.

"_Then what're you going to do once I get you a comic?" Joe asked._

"_Well, while you're getting a comic I'm going to get a fishing rod from the boathouse." Sienna had said. "You'll meet me between the cabins and I'll show you from there, okay?"_

Joe smiled in delight when he lifted up the piles of clothing stacked under the bed. A pile of comics just like Sienna had said.

He plucked the first one off of the pile and ran out the door.

* * *

"AH! CAN I SHED THIS SKIN OFF YET?!"

"Not yet!" Chris stared down at the stopwatch in his hand and then took a glance back up at the clueless artist. Kestrel was still strapped to the pole, but now instead of maple syrup and bird seed covering him _crows_ were pecking at his skin.

There wasn't really any way they could damage him other than some bruises since they probably wouldn't be able to get through his clothing or the helmet, but the whole experience looked life scarring.

"HOW MUCH LONGER?!" Kestrel screeched as the birds pecked at the helmet, the sound echoing through his head.

"Ten seconds!"

"THAT LONG?!" Kestrel's voice was vibrating as the many crows pecked at his skin at the same time.

"And you're done in five, four, three, two, one… good!" The same two interns that'd covered Kestrel came out from behind the Mess Hall, this time with scarecrows in their hands. They waved the scarecrows around until all of the crows flew away. Kestrel was left covered in remnants of bird seed and a slimy coat of syrup.

"That was the most terrifying thing I have ever done." The artist said as the interns untied him from the pole. When the ropes loosened, he landed on his feet and stretched his arms out. "Fortunately now that I've shed my skin I'll feel rejuvenated."

"Um… okay…" Chris gave the artist a wary look. "Glisa, you're up. Chef should've set up an area for you by the Arts n' Crafts Shed."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Kestrel: "I'm completely disturbed and amazed by that challenge." The artist adjusts his glasses and then examines the skin on his arms. "Who knew a snake looked so much like a human?"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Aw! Look how cute!" Addy and Kit-Kat had walked up to the pen that Chef had set up by the Arts n' Crafts Shed, reaching their hands over the fence. The big noses of three sheep dogs sniffed their palms.

Glisa, however, had attached herself to Morty's arm and was cowering in fear. The flirt was trying to tell her they were just dogs, but she had actually whimpered in a scared response.

"You're afraid of dogs?" Kit-Kat asked as the smallest sheep dog, obviously a puppy, licked her hand.

"Not dogs." Glisa muttered. "Sheep dogs."

"Why sheep dogs?" Daphne asked as she walked up to the pen, poking a finger through one of the holes in the fence. Even Tom and Aaron had walked up to see the dogs, but the party animal had stayed as far away as possible.

"Dey're really scary. I t'ink it's dere-"

"Achoo!"

"-hair or somet'ing. Either dat or dere tongues-"

"Achoo!"

"Do you mind?" Glisa glared at the sneezing culprit: Lacey, who was standing in the middle of the group of Deer nearby the dog pen.

"I'm allergic to dogs." The nonconformist explained. "Achoo!"

"You want to go see how Jayna's doing?" Carrie offered. Lacey nodded and they walked off in the direction of the giant wooden poles.

"Okay, so enough with the explanations." Chris said, stopping Glisa from continuing. "Let's get to sheep dogging. Glisa, you have to stay in that pen with the dogs for five minutes to get the challenge. Think you can do it?"

"No." Glisa replied, unconfident for once.

"Glisa, you can do this!" Kit-Kat encouraged from the pen.

"They're just dogs." Tom pointed out. "I know you're afraid and all, but this one's just a puppy-"

"But look at de other two!" Glisa shrieked, practically wrapping herself around Morty's arm. "Dey're huge!"

"Glisa, I think you're cutting off the circulation in my arm." Morty commented.

"_Lo siento_." Glisa loosened her grip on his arm but didn't let go.

"You know, you could always just do the challenge." Morty said. "We'll all be right here watching. It's just five minutes."

"_Pero…_" Glisa unlatched from his arm in disbelief. _"Los perros…"_

"They're harmless." Aaron pointed out from over by the pens.

Glisa gave the sheep dogs one look and then looked to the faces of her teammates.

"Fine."

* * *

"I knew she'd do it." Sienna smiled as she sat on the roof of the Arts n' Crafts Shed when Glisa climbed into the dog pen. Joe meanwhile was struggling to safely get onto the roof with the fishing rod between his teeth, the comic dangling from the hook on the end of it. "She's totally going to win this."

Joe finally managed to hike a leg over the gutter and make it onto the roof. He let out a breath of air and practically collapsed behind Sienna.

"Oh, good, you're up here. Now get up." Sienna instructed.

Joe sighed. "This is so not worth it."

"You can't get out of this now that you're in it."

"This is way too much work for just a little revenge though, knowwhatImean?"

"Yes I know what you mean, now get over here!"

The comic artist joined her at the edge of the roof, fishing pole in hand. She snatched the pole from him.

"Watch carefully." Sienna then cast the line well over the heads of the campers watching Glisa cower at the dogs nearing her. She handed it over to Joe. "Now reel it in, but make sure nobody can see the string. And make sure it passes by Russell. He'll grab it and lose his challenge."

Joe gave her a look. "What are you going to do while I do this?"

"Go down there and make sure you don't get caught. Duh."

Joe was going to argue with that logic, but she had already left.

"How did I get into this…?" He started to wind up the fishing line and watched the comic drag across the ground. Russell seemed to draw towards it almost instantly.

Once the comic was at the tall brunette's feet, Joe F just waited for him to pick it up. Instead, he just glared at it.

"This is a Wolverine comic Chris!" Russell shouted. "That means it's Marvel! I only read DC comics! Good try!"

Joe just slapped his palm to his face. Figures.

* * *

"Ah! It's touching me!"

"Relax, Glisa. It's a big softie."

"But it's still touching me, Kit!" The party animal tried to back away from the sheep dog in front of her, but she just hit the side of the pen. The dog then sat on her lap. Glisa couldn't move. "What do I do?"

"You have one minute left." Chris announced.

"Just let him sit on you for the next minute, Glisa." Morty said. "Then you'll be done."

"Um… I don't know…" The dog cocked its head to the side in confusion as Glisa tried to get it to slide off her legs. The other dog was sitting beside her, the puppy curled up between its paws. Glisa tried to stay calm.

When the dog that was sitting on her lap leaned forward and licked her on the nose, however, there was no way she could stay in there. She bolted over the edge of the pen in an instant, wiping her nose frantically.

"It licked me! Get it off! Get it off! Dere's spit on _mi_ _nariz_!"

The dogs just looked up at her longingly. She didn't give them a second glance. There was still thirty seconds on the timer.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Glisa: "Ugh… dere is no way I can ever go near one of dose! I know dey are just dogs, but dey are so scary!"

Kit-Kat: She is sitting in the outhouse with the sheep dog puppy on her lap, cuddling him against her. "I don't know how she could ever be afraid of this! He's so adorable!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

When Carrie and Lacey made it to the giant wooden poles, they were surprised at the sight they found. The grass around the poles was coated in at least a foot high of litter, the layer looking almost like snow. Jayna was sitting against Jake's pole pulling litter casually out of her bucket, saying sorry each time it hit the ground.

"Don't you think you might want to spread out the pollution?" Carrie suggested to the environmentalist as Lacey tried to see if Joe H could see her middle finger from that high up.

"This causes a cushion so if Jake were to fall (which he won't) he won't hit his head like Addy did." Jayna explained.

"You know, I think Addy's just kind of like that." Carrie pointed out. "No head trauma there."

"You can't be too sure." Jayna shrugged.

"Hey, he's falling!" Lacey shouted. Carrie and Jayna both looked up in shock, the glare from the sun shining into their eyes.

"Which 'he' is falling?!" Jayna asked, hopping to her feet. "It'd better not be Jake!"

"It's-"

THUMP!

THUMP!

"Um… both."

* * *

"Okay Morty, I'd hate to compare your challenge to Kyra's considering all the trouble it's caused, but you have to swim underwater in this pool of steak sauce for one minute."

Morty's dark skin had paled at the host's words as he stared at the pool beside him. It even had a high dive, which seemed to be the only way in. "I can't do that!"

"Why steak sauce?" Aaron asked, resisting the urge to dip his finger in the ingredient. "You don't like steak?"

"When I get steak sauce on my clothes, I feel like a tyrannosaurus rex is getting ready to eat me." Morty explained with wobbly knees. "And there's nothing more terrifying than the thought of being eaten alive."

"Oh yeah." Tom nodded in agreement. "That was like _hell_."

"Think about it though Morty." Daphne spoke. "We have five points now and the Deer only have three. But we have no idea if Jayna, Carrie, and Russell will get points for their challenges and bring them up to six."

"Oh!" Joe F (who was back with the group) caught onto what Daphne was saying. "So if you win this, it'll be a tie and it'll be up to Jake to win-"

"Which he will since the other Joe is a klutz." Sienna pointed out.

"Hey, you don't know that!" Kestrel defended his friend.

"Yeah they do." Russell replied.

"-and then we'll have won the challenge!"

Morty seemed hesitant. "But the T-Rex…"

"Isn't real." Glisa stated. "Dere's no way it can eat you if it doesn't exist."

Morty took a deep breath. "I'll do it." He walked over and started to climb the ladder to the high dive.

It wasn't until he was to the top of the diving board that he realized how full the pool was. As soon as he was under, he'd be coated in the steak sauce. Then he'd practically be a T-Rex's appetizer.

He saw his teammates down below, though, and thought about now having to vote somebody out.

"C'mon Morty!"

"You can do it!"

"Go Morty!" He couldn't help but pick Glisa's voice out of the crowd. "You've got dis Morty!"

At that he took a running start and cannonballed into the pool, much to Aaron's approval. A minute later he emerged, dark hair slicked to his face with steak sauce and a victory in hand.

* * *

"Attention all campers who are not in the heights challenge, please report to the Mess Hall immediately!" The loudspeaker rang with Chris's voice. "We might have a winner!"

The host stepped away from the speaker and stood in front of the crowd already in the building with their lunches. "Since the only campers missing are Blair, Kyra, Carrie, Lacey, Jayna, Jake and Joe H… oh, and Irving, but he's probably still vomiting in the First Aid Tent-"

"Too much information!" Tanya exclaimed.

"-We'll start the official tally." Chris finished. "Tremendous Tortoises, you scored points from Tom's virtual reality experience, Irving's food poisoning Aaron's Sailor Moon fangirling-"

"That didn't happen!" The overeater interrupted.

"Yeah, whatever, we have film, Joe's shock from lightning, Daphne's call to her daddy, and Morty's swimming. That totals up to six points in the challenge."

The Tortoises clapped as a picture of a yellow tortoise popped up in the corner of the screen and a number six covered it up.

"Devious Deer, you scored points from Tanya's foot scraping, Lacey's… um… whatever that was, Kestrel's "skin shedding", and Russell's comic deprivation- here you go by the way." Chris picked up a sack from the table beside him and tossed it to the comic book guy. Russell caught it with a large smile forming on his face. "That totals to four points." A blue deer's head popped up in the corner of the screen with a four. "If Carrie comes back still in her potato sack and Jayna is still littering, then that would also be six-"

"Out of the way, we have two delirious campers coming through!"

"Nah, Joe's just always like that."

"Shut up Lacey."

"I thought you were half unconscious."

"Well speak of the devil, look which dudes and dudettes decided to show up!" All heads turned to Carrie, Lacey, Jayna, Jake, and Joe H who had entered through the Mess Hall door. Jayna still was emptying out her litter bucket and was walking beside Jake, who looked like he wanted to comment on the pollution but was in too much pain to do so. Joe H looked just as bad, his eyes not even focusing as he walked beside Carrie and Lacey.

"Who won the challenge?!" Addy asked.

"Nope, nope, not yet bra!" Chris interrupted. "First off, Carrie's still in her sack?"

"Right." The designer nodded.

"And Jayna's still littering?"

"Unfortunately." The environmentalist said, leading Jake to his team's table.

"Then that's two more points for the Deer." The four above Chris's head turned to a six. "_Now_ you can say who won."

"Okay." Jayna stepped up to the front of the room. "The winner of the heights challenge… by about half a second… was…

…

…

…

"Believe it or not, Joe Howlett."

The Deer erupted into cheers as their logo in the corner of the screen turned from a six to a seven.

"Tortoises, I'll see you at the campfire tonight." Chris said to the sulking team. "I hope you have a plan on who to vote off."

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tom: "I can't believe we went through all that to lose! We were ahead for so long! And how did Jake fall before the clumsiest person here?"

Jake: "For the record, Joe wasn't fully conscious the entire time we were up there. Since he fell before the challenge, he was seeing stars the whole time." The nature lover looks distressed. "I just hope I'm not the one to go home tonight because I fell first by half a second."

Morty: "Jake said he trusts me to tell him who to vote for since he wasn't down here to watch." He is now dressed in a pair of new pajamas so he could get out of the terrible stained clothing. "The problem is, I have no idea who to vote for! Nobody's done anything really bad today or yesterday. Well, except maybe…"

**End Confession Cam**

_

* * *

_

Bang bang bang!

"Kyra open up!"

_Bang bang!_

"Let us in!"

_Bang bang bang!"_

"KYRA!!!"

Kit-Kat put a hand on Sienna's shoulder. "Let me do this."

Sienna moved away for the blonde pastry chef, who politely raised a fist to the door.

_Knock knock knock._

"Kyra sweetie, could you let us in? We just lost the challenge and Glisa smells like dog."

No reply, just a glare from Glisa.

_Knock knock knock._

"Kyra?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" The four Tortoise girls exchanged looks because of the muffled voice coming from inside.

"Kyra," Kit-Kat called softly again. "Sweetie, we know you're upset but we have to get inside-"

"NO!"

"Kyra, why are you-"

"YOU GUYS DIDN'T DEFEND ME AGAINST BLAIR!!! YOU'RE NOT MY FRIENDS, SO I'M NOT LETTING YOU IN!!!"

"Kyra, why would we be your _amigas_?" Glisa asked in a soft voice.

"REAL FRIENDS PROTECT EACH OTHER!!! YOU DIDN'T HELP ME IN MY TIME OF NEED!!!"

"Kyra, we couldn't answer Blair's questions for you." Daphne said. "We didn't know why you were mad at her."

"YOU SHOULD'VE! YOU NEVER EVEN ASKED ME!!!"

Daphne, Kit-Kat, and Glisa frowned. She was right. Sienna, however, wasn't catching on.

"Well, Kyra I wasn't even there, so can I come in?"

"NO! NONE OF YOU CAN COME IN! THIS CABIN IS ONLY FOR GOOD FRIENDS ONLY!!!"

That last shout practically shook the roof of the cabin off. The boys' door opened and Tom and Joe F poked their heads out.

"Everything okay out there?" Tom asked.

"Not really, as you probably can see." Daphne replied.

"Well, since Irving's in First Aid and Jake's getting some ice for his head we have more room in here." Joe offered. "Wanna come in?"

The answer was a unanimous yes.

* * *

When night fell, the eight campers who were sitting on the guys' side of the Tremendous Tortoises' cabin filed into seats around the blazing campfire. Irving and Jake were already there, both looking very under the weather.

The ten campers waited until Kyra finally made her way to the fire pit, clutching a pillow to her chest. Her bloodshot eyes and tear streaked face shone in the light of the fire. She sat far away from the others and buried her face in her hands.

When Chris showed up, they were already ready to hear the votes.

"Tremendous Tortoises," the host spoke solemnly, "welcome to your third Marshmallow Ceremony. So far you've only lost two campers, two of which weren't on the best of terms with the lot of you. Tonight, you will lose another teammate, and chances are they are a friend."

Kyra cringed at the word. The Tortoise girls fidgeted.

"You've already voted…"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Glisa: "It was _loco_ out dere during dis challenge, but you were de most _loca_ dat I have ever seen you. I t'ink voting for you now will be for de best."

Joe Freeman: "Out of all of the people on our team, I think we all know that it will hurt the most to see you go. Sorry about this."

Kit-Kat: "Sweetie, this will give you some time to think about what you're doing. When I see you again, whether it's at the Playa or in the audience of the final two, I'm sure you'll be back to normal. I'll miss you."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Will Daphne, Joe, Morty, Aaron, Irving, and Tom please come get your marshmallows?" Chris handed them their tasty treats and waited for them to sit. "Now, Sienna, Kyra, Glisa, and Jake. You all lost your challenges. One of you got nine out of eleven votes."

Chris held out the plate with the three remaining marshmallows on it. "Will Jake, Glisa, and Sienna please get their marshmallows? Kyra, it's time to say goodbye."

The childish girl was already crying when she walked the Dock of Shame. She didn't say a word as she got onto the boat and waved a sad goodbye.

"We'll miss you!" Several members of the team called out as the Boat of Losers sailed away.

Chris just gave the team and solemn look. "The second strange elimination in two challenges and another camper leaving who will definitely be missed." The campers stayed quiet. "Now go back to your cabin and get a good, _fearless _night's sleep."

**

* * *

**

**Final Confession**

Kyra: She is still crying into the pillow she had brought from her cabin as she sits curled up on the boat seat. She looks up at the camera with big, watery eyes. "I… I'm… I…" The words struggle to come out. "I really have nothing good to say. I'll see you guys when you make it to the Playa. Thanks for a great time other than the last few days."

The camera cuts as her tears start to fall again.

**End Final Confession**

* * *

**1. Green Lantern oath. I don't own that.**

**I told you that you would hate me!!! Sweet little Kyra!!! But before you throw flaming pitch forks at me, let me make you one promise: this is NOT the last you will see of Kyra. I can't tell you how she'll show up again, but we will see her again! Whether she's returning in a style a la Eva and Izzy, or if she's interning a la Owen, or if she's writing letters like the one Haley did I can't tell you, but she's doing something!**

**Now you may hate me for whatever you want.**

**Oh and for the record, Sailor Moon Ashley that was hanging out with Aaron is in fact the girl Haley mentioned Betsy was after in the last chapter. **

**Also, the songs screaming from Chef's iPod are "Trogdor" by Strong Bad (no, I don't listen to that. My brother does) and "Stop! In the Name of Love" by The Supremes.**

**The next challenge is the friends/family/etc. one! I'm starting to write as soon as possible (not now of course considering it's past 5 AM and I need sleep)! And after that are two equally cool challenges, one involving swinging from a giant chandelier and one involving road rage!**


	23. Ep8 Pt1: Guess Who's Staying Past Dinner

****

Thanks so much to all who reviewed! They really got me pumped to write this chapter up. Unfortunately it took a little longer than it should have due to me working on… um… another TDI-related project of mine that you don't need to know about yet. And f**or all who might be wondering on exactly how long it'll be before the newly revealed Behind the Scenes Extra is written, here's a general summary of how I have the next few episodes planned out:**

**Next Challenge: Long awaited ninth challenge I've been hyperventilating about  
****Tenth Challenge: Involves road rage, really nothing special  
****Eleventh Challenge: Readers vote somebody off  
****Twelfth Challenge: Has a game-changing surprise  
****Thirteenth Challenge: Readers vote somebody off, a challenge I think you'll really like, and another huge twist  
****Fourteenth Challenge: Another surprise… or two… or three  
****Behind the Scenes Extra!**

**After that all the challenges keep going as usual. I have a couple times you guys can vote in there too. ****But for now, here's the next chapter!**

**Warning: There're a whole lot of one-challenge characters (and maybe some we'll hear from later) to keep track of in this one. There'll be a list at the end of the chapter for if you get confused.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One: Guess Who's Staying Past Dinner**

"Last time on Total Drama Island: Again!" Chris stood on the dock with a plastic shopping bad in hand. "We got up close and personal with a sugary sweet diary entry from Kyra and the discovery of Glisa creepily stalking- I mean _watching over_ an unconscious Morty."

_(Footage of Kyra writing and Glisa explaining her situation to Daphne rolls)_

"I then read the campers a special letter from Loserville from our one and only Haley to get an update on how the voted off campers are doing. They seemed pretty okay. Still boring as heck though." The host rolled his eyes.

_(Unaired footage from Playa des Losers shows Haley and Jolt lounging by the pool, Corin shiftily looking around her before carrying off some supplies to a large sheet set up behind the resort, Bren writing in a notebook with a sinister smile on his face, Betsy chasing after a girl in a Sailor Moon costume, and Riley sulking under a palm tree flash onscreen)_

"But back to the more interesting stuff. The challenge was revealed to be a Total Drama favorite: Phobia Factor! Needless to say, it was a great day for the viewing audience because of all the failures."

_(Shots of Sienna running in the direction Tanya is pointing, Glisa hopping out of the dog pen, Kit-Kat fainting, and Addy falling off the wooden pole show)_

"There _were_ a few wins though, surprisingly enough…"

_(Joe shocked by lightning, Irving eating the disgusting pie, Jayna littering, Kestrel getting almost devoured by crows, and finally Morty diving into the steak sauce)_

"Besides the challenges though, the drama was heating up as Kyra went cuckoo after failing her challenge. She became paranoid and actually _bit_ Blair. When they got into an argument, it all seemed to be over for the seemingly innocent girl."

_(Kyra biting Blair, the confrontation during Blair's challenge, and the Tortoise girls locked out of their cabin)_

"And when the Tremendous Tortoises lost the challenge, it _was _all over for Kyra as she was sent packing. Hopefully the crew over at the Playa can cheer her up." Chris laughed. "I doubt that…"

"With the loss of one of their nicest campers, will tensions grow on the Tortoise team? What will be the challenge for today? And most important of all… what will the campers have to use _these_ for during their challenge?" Chris dug into his shopping bag and pulled out a pair of handcuffs and a blindfold. A cameraman whistles off screen. "Push any kinky thoughts involving these items out of your head and find out on the next exciting episode of Total Drama Island… Again!"

* * *

The sun was just peering over the horizon and Camp Wawanakwa had never looked more peaceful. After all of the humiliating experience from the two days passed, everybody just wanted a good night's rest. And for once, there wasn't a bullhorn or a steam roller or a helicopter coming to wake them up.

"Ah… ah… ACHOO!"

There was however, one nature loving camper who had unfortunately caught a cold from his night spent in the rain.

"ACHOO!"

Jake flinched as Joe F, who was sleeping in the bunk beneath him, jumped upward in surprise at the sneeze and hit his head on the bottom of his mattress.

"Sorry!" Jake leaned down with an embarrassed frown. "I must've caught a... ah… ACHOO!" Several of his teammates groaned and pulled their pillows over their heads to try and block his sneezing out. "A cold."

"It's fine, I guess." Joe replied groggily, rubbing the throbbing spot on his head. "You _did _spend last night in the rain. I'm sure Chris was going to wake us up any-"

As if on cue, the sound of the microphone connected to the loudspeaker being pressed too close to somebody's mouth squeaked through the air. "Good morning campers! Breakfast is in a half an hour, so anybody who wants to shower better get their butts in there."

A harmonized groan rang through the camp.

* * *

"Isn't this too early to be up?" Blair whined as she waited in line for the showers.

"We're on Chris's time schedule, remember?" Carrie dully replied. "The bloke's off his rocker."

"Actually, she's right." Kit-Kat said from her spot in front of them in the line. "Kyra had an alarm clock that she left behind. It's a little over two hours earlier than we usually wake up."

"Ugh." Blair practically collapsed. "It's too early!"

"Kyra had an alarm clock?" Carrie questioned. "That's actually pretty… um…"

"Smart to have?" Kit-Kat finished. "Keep in mind it plays the Teen Titans theme song at full blast every morning. Sienna's trying to figure out how to shut if off now."

"ARGH! FORGET IT!"

The three girls turned to see a bright yellow and black alarm clock go flying through the window of the Tremendous Tortoise cabin. The clock hit Russell, who was walking near the Deer cabin, in the head. Sienna stomped out of the cabin in a huff, carrying her signature outfit with her. She walked to the back of the line and crossed her arms in frustration. The little alarm clock could still be heard screaming "T-E-E-N-T-I-T-A-N-S! Teen Titans! Let's go!" even from the line.

"You look like you're having fun." Blair rolled her eyes.

"Hmm, forget that bee thing I said earlier about your clothing." Carrie said, observing the queen bee's black nightdress. "You actually looked good in yellow."

"I don't really care what you think." Sienna sneered, and then quickly added, "But thank you."

"Ugh, who's the wise guy that left this in the showers?"

"Ah! My eyes!" Blair covered her face in disgust as Tanya marched out of the showers wearing nothing but her towel. She was holding out a baseball cap like it was a dead animal.

"Oh ha-ha, because I'm sure if you were doing the same it'd be _such_ a pleasant sight." Tanya sneered in Blair's direction. "But I'm serious, who put this in the showers?"

"What is it?" Kit-Kat asked.

"Maureen's baseball hat." She turned the hat so it was facing them, revealing the familiar white letters reading "CAMERAWOMAN". "I stuffed it with dirt the other day and now it's back to haunt me."

"Creepy." Kit-Kat commented. "But can I use your shower stall?"

"Oh, go ahead." Tanya said. "I'm off to question the boys."

As she stomped off, Carrie called after her, "Try and put on some clothing before you go in front of them!"

* * *

"Are you actually mad at Tanya?"

"What do you think Kestrel?"

"Um…"

The artist really had no clue what Addy's opinion on the drama queen was at this point in time. He just made a face of confusion at the hyper girl who sat across from him on the stairs to the Devious Deer cabin.

"Well?" Addy asked.

"I have no idea." Kestrel replied.

"Well I don't either!" Addy threw her arms up in the air. "All I did was listen to Sienna ventilate-"

"Vent?" Kestrel hesitantly corrected.

"Yeah, that," She waved her hand casually, "and Tanya yelled at me. But she talks to Sienna all the time."

"Tanya's never actually _nice_ to Sienna though," Kestrel said. "Maybe she's just mad at you for being nice to her?"

The pair was silent as Addy considered this. "…Or maybe…" she considered, "Tanya's just mean."

"Huh." Kestrel nodded. "Maybe. She's kind of nice to us though."

"She wasn't all that nice to me yesterday when I told her I was talking to Sienna!" Addy pouted. "I don't think she actually likes us-"

"'scuse me, coming through," The sound of a cabin door opening and several plastic objects falling to the ground caused the artist and hyper chick to turn around. "Crap, could you grab those for me?"

There stood Lacey with an armful of CD's, three of which had fallen to the floor behind her teammates. Kestrel picked the fallen CD's up and handed them back to her.

"What're you doing?" Addy questioned.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Lacey replied, attempting to balance the three cases on the other ones.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have asked."

"Good point. It doesn't matter." The brunette shrugged, almost losing another CD. "Kestrel, is Joe still on your side of the cabin?"

Kestrel and Addy exchanged a confused look before he answered, "I think he is, but why-"

"Okay, thanks." Lacey turned away from them and kicked the door to the guys' side of the cabin a few times. "Knock knock!"

"Nobody's here if you're who I think you are." Joe H's unenthusiastic voice replied from inside.

"Hey, I'm actually doing something nice for you, so open the door. I have my hands full." No response, just the creak of somebody sitting up on a mattress with rusty springs. Lacey rolled her eyes. "_Please_?" After a moment, the door squeaked open and she walked right in. "Took you long enough."

"It's too early to argue with you." The movie geek replied from inside the cabin. "Oh, and watch out for the shoes in front of you-" THUMP! CRASH! "Forget it."

"By the way, your Aerosmith CD is so badly scratched it almost busted the ancient walkman I've been using."

"Good."

Addy and Kestrel just watched in shock as the door shut.

"Were they actually just having a _conversationje_?" Addy asked, her brown eyes wide.

"I think so." Kestrel answered, his face showing a lot less disbelief than Addy's.

"What the hedge maze is going on?"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Addy: "Okay, so first there's that and then Blair told me at breakfast that Carrie had actually _complimented_ Sienna on her outfitje?" The freckle faced girl's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Weeeeird…"

Kestrel: "I might not be the brightest crayon in the box, but I can tell when somebody's using somebody when it's obvious. Even though it's something as little as music, Lacey's definitely using him." The artist adjusts his glasses in thought. "Now if only I could tell if Tanya is using us…"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"Do _you_ even know what this is supposed to be?"

"Nope." Irving grimaced when Chef plopped a spoonful of what might have been grilled cheese that had gone through a blender onto his plate. "But I don't have to eat it, now do I?"

"No, I guess no-"

"ACHOO!"

Irving stopped mid-sentence when a flurry of nasal wastes flew in his direction, splattering across his plate. He turned to the camper beside him with a glare. Jake gave him an embarrassedly guilty smile.

"Um… sorry?"

The jock gave him a look that was somewhere between a sneer and a "whatever" face and then turned to Chef. "Please say I can get another plate?"

"Even _I'm_ not cruel enough to make ya eat snot." Chef nodded as he spooned a clump of the questionable substance onto Jake's tray. The nature lover walked past the disgusted athlete towards the Tremendous Tortoise table. When Jayna cut in front of him with a slightly distressed look on her face, he instantly stopped.

"Are you okay?" She asked. "I heard you sneezing this morning. What's up?"

"I think I just have a co… co… CACHOO!" Jake sneezed away from Jayna, just missing a passing Carrie with the spray. "A cold."

"Do you need something for it?" Jayna questioned. "I'll bet Kit-Kat makes a pretty good chicken soup even though she's a baker and not a cook. And Glisa might know her way around the medical tent and might be able to find you some aspirin since she was there so long yesterday. I'm sure one of us could get them to-"

"Jayna, I'm fine." Jake put a hand over her mouth. She stopped talking with a surprised squeak. "It's just a runny nose. My arm wasn't cut off."

"You're sure?" Jayna asked.

"Positive." Jake smiled.

"Okay then." She leaned upward to kiss him on the cheek only for him to hold her back.

"Ah… ACHOO!" When he turned back from his sneeze, he just gave her an apologetic smile accompanied with a shrug. She smiled and blew him a kiss from a distance instead before walking back to sit at her table.

When Jake got to the table he walked straight into a milk chug-off between Aaron and Joe F. The nature person just rolled his eyes good-naturedly as Tom, Morty, and a slightly disgusted Kit-Kat cheered their teammates on. Sienna and Daphne looked on with disgust while Glisa was too busy trying to keep her "breakfast" on the plate as it was bouncing up and down.

"Who's winning?" Jake asked Kit-Kat as he sat in the cleared space between her and Morty.

"I don't know." Kit-Kat shrugged. "I'm definitely cheering for Aaron though."

"Because he seems like he could do better because he's bigger?"

"No. I just like Aaron better." The pastry chef smiled and then went back to cheering on the overeater. Eventually it was the larger teen that slammed his glass down first.

"The reigning champion!" He threw his arms in the air. Kit-Kat clapped for him as he took mock bows. "Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week."

"Rematch." Joe told Aaron, his eyes glaring but a smile spread on his face. "Tomorrow morning. I'm definitely going to beat you then."

"You're on, little man." Aaron agreed, wiping the milk moustache from his upper lip.

The next few minutes were pretty much eventless. Everybody was attempting to eat the sludge on their plates (which by taste might actually have been seafood and not grilled cheese), which stopped moving if you stabbed it enough. Chris entered as he usually did mid-meal with his usual door slam.

"Morning campers! I'm sure you all enjoyed your early wake up call."

A harmonized zombie-like moan sounded in reply.

"I'll consider that a yes." The host smiled. "And I hope you're all done with your gruel, because it's time to head down to the lake!"

The campers-turned-zombies groaned once again.

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tom: He glares at the camera. "Screw you Chris McLean."

Joe F: "At least the food wasn't good enough to want to keep eating." He shrugs and then frowns. "Unfortunately it's the _only_ thing we have to eat."

Blair: The tomboy seems to have collapsed onto the floor of the outhouse. "Too. Freaking. EARLY!"

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

The sun had finally rose when the campers stood (or collapsed in a heap on the ground if you were Blair) in a clump on the dock impatiently waiting for Chris to announce a challenge.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" asked an impatient Sienna.

Chris smirked. "Just wait. It'll speak for itself."

Another minute of silence passed before Daphne pointed into the distance. "Is that a boat?"

All heads turned to where the edge of the lake met the sky. A dot was quickly growing on the horizon until getting close enough for the shape to be made out as a small boat. An unfamiliar figure stood on the deck…

…unfamiliar to all but one camper.

"Is that…" Tanya cupped her hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun. "Rachel?"

"Rachel?" questioned the other campers.

"Tanya!" The boat pulled up to the dock and the newcomer walked over to the drama queen and gave her a hug. The campers stared. "It's like you've been gone so long!"

"Wait... there's something familiar about her." Addy observed "Rachel" with narrowed eyes and her tongue sticking out of her mouth. "Are you guys related?"

"Rachel's one of my many siblings." Tanya commented, slipping away from her sister's arms and straightening out her clothing. As she spoke, she almost instinctively stood on her toes and straightened out Rachel's shirt collar. "The big question is why the _hell _are you _here_?"

"Chris asked me to come." Rachel smiled.

All eyes turned to Chris McLean. He just changed the subject by pointing towards the lake. "Is that another boat I see coming?"

As soon as he said that, another boat pulled up to the dock and a girl in a pink sweater stepped off of it. She was fairly attractive with light brown hair and generous curves.

"Hey, when'd you get that white piece of hair?" Several people stared in disbelief as she put one hand on her hip and casually pointed at Joe Freeman with the other.

Joe froze up at the sight of her. "I… I… I, um, l-lighting."

"He got shocked by lightning to win his challenge." Aaron translated.

"Oh. That makes sense I guess." The girl shrugged as Aaron pushed Joe from the crowd. The comic artist nervously began fiddling with his clothing.

"H-h-hi J-Jamie." He stuttered with a meek wave. Jamie walked up to him and slapped the palm of his waving hand, obviously mistaking it as a gesture for a high five.

"It feels good to be standing here with the future winner of Total Drama Island." She winked at Joe as another boat pulled up to the dock.

Off of this boat stepped a male with a baseball cap propped on his ink black hair. He stopped and examined the crowd with teal blue eyes before shooting a crooked smile in the direction of a certain pastry chef.

"Hey Kathleen."

Kit-Kat's eyes bugged in horror for a moment. She looked like she was about to say something before crossing her arms over her chest and turning away from the newcomer. Her lower lip was jutted into a pout.

"Kat, please don't be like that. I've told you I'm sorry a million times!"

"I don't want to see you right now." Kit-Kat replied, still not looking the newcomer in the eye.

"But Kat it's been, what, eight years? I've told you I'm sorry so many times-"

"Kyle, I still don't want you here. This show is my chance to do what I want and help out Mom. Go away."

"I can't." The newcomer, now defined as Kyle, answered. "I was invited by Chris."

Kit-Kat didn't answer him, so Kyle took the liberty to introduce himself to a few of her teammates. "I'm Kyle McCartney, Kathleen's older brother. Hopefully she hasn't told you too many bad things about me since they're not true-"

"Oh RUUUUUUUUSSSSELLLLLLL!"

All eyes turned from Kyle to the new person on the dock only to be surprised by the sight of… a second Russell?

"Shelly?" The actual Russell cried.

"That's right babe!" The Russell-look-a-like exclaimed in a distinctly feminine voice before running up to the comic addict and grabbing him in a bone-crunching hug. "And I can't wait to express our _looooove_ to all of your teammates!"

Everybody on the dock was gaping at the sight (except for Chris who was, of course, laughing his head off) of Russell being hugged by his clone. The two were practically identical in hair style, wardrobe, and glasses choice. The false Russell, however, had a more feminine facial shape and was quite a bit shorter than the original.

"I can't wait to see your cabin and tell all your teammate about our first date and our first kiss and go skinny dipping in the lake-"

"Sh-Shelly!" Russell struggled to speak through his doppelganger's grip. "Shelly!"

"What is it honey lumps?" Shelly asked, thankfully releasing the brunette.

"We still aren't dating." Russell muttered, back to his shy self in front of the few new people on the island.

"Oh, sugar lips, stop being in denial!" Shelly grabbed his hands in her own. "You know you secretly have a shrine of me in your closet that matches the several I have of you in mine! I've tried to find it on those nights that I sneak into your room to watch you sleep, but you've got it hidden real good-"

"You watch me sleep?" Russell squeaked out in fear.

"Of course I do, my azure eyed Adonis." Shelly smiled. "I can't tolerate being away from you for so long! I have to be close to you, even when you're deep in sleep!"

"Whoa," a new voice interrupted the reluctant love fest, "did I get off on the wrong island or something?"

Standing on the dock was a curly haired brunette wearing a t-shirt and jeans. She was looking onto the situation with Russell and Shelly in a creeped out fashion, her eyes widened in shock and her upper lip upturned in a grimace.

"Tara?" Jake stepped towards the newcomer.

"Jake!" Tara walked across the dock up to the nature lover. He held up a hand as if to high five her or maybe put a hand on her shoulder, but she grabbed him in a hug instead. "I've missed you! We have this huge new project going on involving humpback whales that you would just be crazy about!"

"I'm sure I would be- ah- ACHOO!" Jake stumbled from Tara's grasp in time to turn his head to sneeze. "Sorry about that. Spent two nights ago in the storm-"

"I think you might need these." A poke on his shoulder had Jake turning around to be face to face with Jayna holding out a package of Kleenex. He pulled several from the pack and blew his nose in them with an embarrassing trumpeting noise.

"Thanks."

"It's the least I could do since you won't let me help you in any other way." Jayna replied, giving Jake a smile before standing back in the crowd. Jake then turned to Tara again.

"I can't wait to show you some of the animals there are on this island. They're some of the strangest I've ever seen!"

His nature loving friend smiled in excitement as they stood with the other campers whose friends had arrived.

The next boat pulled up and a blonde, green eyed male stepped onto the dock. He gave the cast a charming smile that highlighted the light sprinkling of freckles on his tan cheeks.

"Now where's my favorite younger sister?"

Nobody responded.

"Come on Addy, I'm not embarrassing at all. You could at least say hi."

"Ugh, fine." Addy walked out from her spot hiding behind Kestrel to approach the teenager on the dock. "Hi Chris. How's your rat?"

"Hey, don't talk about my girlfriend like that!" Her brother shouted. "Chelsea's never mean to you!"

"Not when you're watching she isn't!" Addy argued. "But behind your back, she's an evil sea witchje winding her tentacles around me and making fun of me while she squeezes my insides out!"

An amused smile spread across her brother's face accompanied by a slight laugh. "You always knew how to tell a story, Ad."

"You never did." Addy sneered.

As the Meisner siblings walked over to join the other pairs already lined up, a tall bespectacled male with spiked rust blonde hair stepped onto the dock from another boat. He was tucking a cell phone into the pocket of his pants, muttering something about not getting any service.

When he finally became aware that he was on the show, he scanned the crowd with a playful smile. "Huh, guess he's not here."

"Hey! I'm right here!" Morty, who was in the front row of the waiting campers, glared with a smile. "It's not my fault we can't all be giraffes like you Axel."

"You know I'm just joking, Small Fry." The newcomer 'Axel' and Morty met up and did a fist bump.

"Me too, Tree Trunk… though you _do_ look a lot smaller on my laptop."

"Web cams do that to you." Axel shrugged as they joined the group of already partnered campers and their guests.

The next person on the dock was an attractive male with dark hair and amethyst eyes that looked too good to be his true color. He looked secure in his stride as he walked across the wooden planks beneath his feet, though he didn't give off an overconfident vibe.

"Jonah?" Carrie questioned in a disbelieving tone.

"Who else?" The newcomer smiled as the designer walked towards him. He seemed to be reaching out to embrace her, but she just put a hand friendlily on his arm.

"Have the fans figured out I'm not even in the country anymore?" Carrie asked with a laugh.

"I doubt the barmpots **(1) **have." Jonah replied. "There was a person with a sign that said '_My lovely Miss Carrie, it's you I want to marry_' standing outside the boutique the other day."

"Aw, poor guy must've been so disappointed when he found out I wasn't there."

"Who said it was a guy?" Jonah grimaced. Carrie made a similar face and then they both laughed. "It's been boring without you."

"Same to you." A smile spread across Carrie's face. Meanwhile another dark haired, violet eyed being stepped onto the dock with a thick soled high heel. This newcomer, however, was definitely female.

The tall, tan, and curvy stranger got the attention of every male as she walked her way down the dock, though a word was never uttered from her scarlet lips. The grace in her stride just oozed a feeling of seductive mystery that any man or boy would want to get his hands on.

One of the campers in particular had his eyes the size of saucers and his jaw practically on the ground. The mystifying new arrival just flipped her long, ink black hair over her shoulder nonchalantly.

"Aaron," was the suave greeting she gave him.

"Veronica," Aaron replied, the fact that he was totally turned on by her presence clear in his voice. She walked over towards the group of other newcomers. Aaron followed like a lost puppy, his eyes clearly craned onto the sway of her hips as she walked. Kit-Kat gaped at his actions from her spot next to her brother before crossing her arms and putting a _totally not jealous_ pout on her face.

"Well, does every guy on this island get a girl like that?" A shaggy haired, blue eyed male stood on the end of the dock looking approvingly in the direction of Veronica. The cocky smirk on his face combined with his outfit clearly shouted "I'm a rebellious jerk", as did his gait when he started down the dock. "Ladies, I'm Jason, recently single due to an incident I really don't want to talk about, and if any of you are over eighteen I just might be interested."

A few eye rolls and one "damn it, just two years off" were the only reactions to Jason's assertive flirting.

"Wow, tough crowd." He smirked. "I like that."

"Ugh, will you just shut up already." Joe H stepped up to Jason and glared. "I'm sure Chris didn't send you here to get arrested again."

"Do legal rules really apply on this island? I mean, where the hell is this place anyway?"

"Did you burn down the apartment yet?"

"No, but I did burn down all of your movies with the help of all the hot girls I've had over."

"And I've been telling the world that you're secretly gay through the Confession Cam."

There was a pause between the two before they surprisingly high fived and started to laugh.

"Let me guess," Blair said from the crowd. "Your unlikely best friend from back home?"

"Older brother." Joe replied.

Blair rolled her eyes. "That's kind of cliché."

"_Blair Myracle_, stop being so mean to everybody! Do you know what mom's saying about you?" All eyes turned to the girl stepping off of the newly arrived boat with a handbag thrown over her arm.

"Is that your sister?" Joe asked Blair.

"Yep." The tomboy replied, a slightly venomous tone to her voice.

"And you think _I'm_ cliché."

Blair's sister was very blonde and had a perky demeanor to her. Her dark eyes were narrowed in frustration at Blair, who was making a very similar expression back. When the newcomer realized most of the others' eyes had turned to her, a bright smile spread across her face that quickly made her seem as innocent as Kit-Kat.

"Oh, hey everybody," That smile stayed on her face as she approached the campers, the locket hanging around her neck glinting in the sun. "I'm Juliet. Nice to meet you."

"_You're_ related to _Blair_?" Tanya asked, her jaw dropping in disbelief.

"Oh, you mean _Blake_?" Juliet put a hand on her hip. "Yeah, that's my little _brother_."

"Yeah, and that's my older snob of a sister." Blair commented, going to stand next to Juliet. She glanced between Juliet and Tanya before smirking. "Sister snob, meet my replacement snob for my time on the show."

"Wow, such a _great_ relationship with your teammates." Juliet rolled her eyes. "It's a wonder why you haven't been voted off yet."

"I know, right?" Tanya smiled. "Finally somebody sees where I'm coming from!"

"Tanya!" Rachel elbowed her sister in the arm.

"Ladies, ladies, ladies," a new voice interrupted. "There's no need to fight over me before I've even arrived."

Already walking down the dock was a well-built tan male with spiked red hair. He stepped up to where the Myracle-Tulasvies sisters conversation was going on and gave the four a smile, giving each girl a once over from their shoes to their hair. When he got to Blair, he paused.

"You're a girl, right?"

"As much as she wants to deny it." Juliet answered for her sister.

The smile spread across the newcomer's face once again and he gave Blair the same once over he gave the other three girls. When he got to Blair's face, she already had her fist drawn back.

"You wouldn't punch a stranger, would you?" The new redhead questioned.

"Considering that stranger's a douche, then yes."

"I'm still a stranger."

"Fine then, what's your name?"

"Todd Sherman at your service."

"Okay then Todd, how'd you like a black eye or two to show- wait a second." Blair dropped her fist. "Sherman?"

"Oh my god!" Tanya exclaimed in realization. "Sherman as in related to _Daphne_ Sherman?"

"No shit, Sherlock." Todd smirked, pretending not to hear the sound of a pair of Mary Janes walking across the dock behind him. It was until the shadow of Daphne's umbrella passed over him and the ashen-skinned girl was standing next to him that he even acknowledged her existence.

"Daph."

"Todd."

"You should see all the attention Dad's getting from sharing that he got you out of that challenge. He was pissed at first until you pointed out that all the attention he'd get."

"That's nice." Daphne said, making her way towards the edge of the group of already partnered campers.

"Okay, you stand over there!" Todd shouted to his sister as he slid himself in between where Veronica and Jamie were standing. "I'll be over here with these lovely ladies." Jamie giggled at him, causing Joe F to sneer at the redhead. He opened his mouth to say something, but the smile Jamie flashed in the direction stopped his speech completely.

The next newcomer on the dock was a male with long black hair. Heavy black eyeliner and lipstick covered his pale face. In his hands he was holding a-

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?" Sienna exclaimed, clinging to the arm of the camper to her right. When she realized that camper was Jayna, she gave her an awkward smile before switching over to the camper to her left (who _conveniently_ happened to be Irving).

"What, you've never seen a snake before?" the newcomer raised a dark eyebrow as the huge, forest green snake started slithering up his arm, twisting around his upper arm.

"Nocturne, how are you not burning?" Kestrel ran towards the Goth with the snake, a frantic look on his face. "We need to get you some shade now!"

"Kestrel," the be-snaked newcomer, obviously Nocturne, said, "It's fine. I have new vampire sun block."

"Oh, phew," Kestrel wiped his forehead in relief. "I wouldn't want to see you burned to a crisp."

"Vampire?" Jonah questioned.

"He's a bit bonkers, but you'll get used to him after a half hour or so," Carrie replied. "In other words, don't ask."

"Are you going to suck the blood out of that snake?" Kestrel asked.

"No, I found him on the boat over here and figured I thought he was cool. I was thinking about keeping him-"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A green-eyed brunette male rushed up to Nocturne and removed the snake from his arm, quickly releasing it to slither into the wild. "Snakes are a very important part of the environment. They eat rodents and insects which prevents the need for chemicals used in the soil and air to help get rid of them. Not to mention the fact that they prevent anemic biodiversity in an area." **(2)**

Nocturne glared at the newcomer. "How do I know that's true and you're not just being mean?"

"Trust me. I'm probably the person here that the most informed about the environment." The newcomer turned his head towards where the six un-partnered campers were standing. "Isn't that right, Jayna?"

"This is why I hate you, Baxter!" The environmentalist shouted back.

"You didn't think that when you dated me, darling!"

"I have bad taste in guys!" Several campers gasped and turned to Jake, whose mouth was wide open in shock. Jayna's eyes widened. "_Had_ bad taste in guys. I meant _had_!"

Baxter gave a stiff laugh and walked over to where Jake stood. "You're Jayna's new boy toy, are you?"

"Yes I am." Jake said, standing up tall and confident.

"You're dating her?" Tara exclaimed from beside Jake.

"Yeah," Jake replied, "I thought you could tell."

"From what? The fact that she gave you a tissue?"

"Haven't you been watching the sh- ah, ah, ACHOO!"

"Ugh." Baxter dug into his pocket and pulled out a tissue. "Here. 100% recycled material."

"I wouldn't trust that, Jake." Jayna stomped up to Baxter with a glare. "He's probably _lying_. Since that's what _liars_ do, they _lie_." She gave a triumphant grin towards her ex. "Isn't that right Baxter?"

The teen just shrugged nonchalantly. "Hey, you're the one who believed it."

"You no-good, lying, good for nothing but the environment, waste of precious air-"

"Whoa, those are some big words for a fit bird like yourself." A new voice tried to interrupt.

"-selfish, careless, kindergarten-aged maturity level, brainless- I have no idea who you are, but did you just call me a bird?"

Jayna (and most of the other campers) turned to the handsome, black haired teen who had spoken with a British accent standing on the dock grinning at Jayna.

"Well I was just saying how you're a bit of a dish is all." He said, the smile not leaving his face.

"Are you making fun of her?" Baxter questioned. Carrie, Jonah, Irving, and the newcomer laughed from their spots on the dock.

"Harper, stop confusing them. You're in Canada now." Irving walked over to the newcomer and exchanged a fist bump and a masculine pat on the back with him. "They just don't get slang."

"Wait… are you _encouraging_ him to insult me?" Jayna asked.

"Not at all!" Harper spoke up. "I was just commenting on how I find you attractive."

"Oh," Jayna smiled. "Sorry but I'm taken."

"That's fine. Plenty of other girls here to chat up." Harper turned to Irving. "Any recommendations mate?"

"I'd recommend you don't touch de _bonita_ _chica_ with de multi-colored shirt and cowboy boots if you want to get off of dis _isla_ in one piece." A long shadow stretched over Irving and Harper's heads as a thickly accented voice sounded. The two Brits turned around to find a brown skinned man with a buzz cut and several tattoos (the most apparent being a cobra swirling around his left arm) standing behind them.

"Hehe," Harper nervously laughed. "Can do."

"Dat's what I t'ought."

"EDDY!" Glisa quickly ran across the dock and hopped into the air, clamping her arms around the intimidating newcomer's neck in a tight hug. "_Te extraño tanto_."

"_Yo también, _Glory_. Tú estás haciendo bien aquí, ¿verdad?"_

"_Por supuesto, Eddy!" _**(3) **Glisa laughed.

"_Your_ name is _Eddy_?" Harper questioned.

"It's _Eduardo_. Only Glisa calls me dat." Eduardo glared. "And didn't I already talk to you?"

"Don't be such a ruined activity!" Glisa laughed, giving her brother a playful elbow in the arm as she dropped back to the ground.

"I think you mean spoil sport." Kit-Kat corrected.

"Right. Dat's what I meant-"

"LAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

All voices went silent at the strange sound filling the air.

"Was that a bird?" Kestrel questioned.

"LAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

"Maybe a dying one." Nocturne commented as a boat stopped at the end of the dock. A tall, gangly male stumbled off of it, his bushy head of blonde curls bouncing as he tripped. Most of the campers and guests just gave him an eye roll.

Lacey however had a bright smile spread across her face. "Dave!"

The newcomer looked up with wide gray-green eyes. "Lacey!" He then proceeded to launch himself across the dock and rather clumsily engulf the much smaller teen into a hug. "I missed you! I'm so excited to be here! Oh, and Ozzie's been using your room even though I told him not to. He's putting magazine cutouts of Gerard Way all over the walls." **(4)**

"Ugh, damn it!" Lacey instantly slid out of the hug. "I told you not to let him touch my room!"

"Well maybe if you didn't mess up before you left and make mom and dad remove the door I could've-"

"You guys are related?" Sienna interrupted the rather strange argument. Dave and Lacey gave her a confused look.

"Of course," Dave said. "You couldn't tell?"

"Yeah sis, you couldn't tell?" Sienna's face quickly curled into an expression of frustration at the sound of the new voice.

"Tyler…" she sneered. "Of course _you're_ here."

"Of course," A cute teen with shaggy brown hair made his way down the dock to stand in front of the queen bee with a smile. "Who else would be able to tolerate you for an episode?"

"I don't think _I _can tolerate _you_." Sienna glared.

"My girlfriend knew you'd say that."

"Of course she did." Sienna rolled her eyes.

"She's great, isn't she?" Tyler followed Sienna as she marched across the dock to the partnered up campers. He gave Veronica a wink when they passed by her.

"Well Chris, who'd you send for me?" Tom, the only remaining un-partnered camper, questioned.

"Well, she was supposedly to be here already…" Chris looked out into the distance. A boat finally appeared on the horizon a moment later. "That boat had better move faster."

Eventually the boat pulled up to the dock and a skinny girl with red-tinted brown hair stepped down. She had at least ten piercings in each ear and a casual smile on her face.

"Well Tom, what'd you say this time that caused everybody to move away?" She laughed, putting her hands on her hip. "Nothing like what you said to Lorraine when she-"

"Okay, nobody needs to know about that." Tom interrupted the girl.

"Oh come on, it's not as bad as what _I_ said to her." She crossed her arms triumphantly. "But seriously, why're you alone?"

"Because you're last to arrive, Liz," Chris, ever the impatient host, explained. "Now would you get over there so I can explain why you guys are here?"

"Fashionably late as always." Liz smiled, walking over to the group with Tom. "This is gonna be fun."

"Okay," Chris stood in front of the group. "So now that you all have a friend/family member/worst enemy/crazy stalker/ex/whatever else there is with you, you're probably wondering why they're here."

"To torture us?" Addy asked.

"To scare us?" Russell questioned, Shelly wrapping herself around his arm.

"To hang out with us?" suggested Morty.

"Ha! Who are you kidding?" Chris laughed at Morty's suggestion, "The first two might apply, but _dude_. Do you _know_ me?"

"I tried." Morty shrugged.

"Well, they're here _of course_ for a challenge!" the host exclaimed. "The challenge is called Two is Better Than One and will be three parts long. Since the first part is probably going to take a long time and we're required to provide you with both lunch and dinner since we have guests, only the first and second parts will be done today."

"Wait," Kit-Kat said. "Does that mean-"

"Yes, our nineteen guests will be staying overnight. Technically they'll be staying until the Bonfire Ceremony tomorrow night where somebody will be voted off." Chris explained. "We'll have sleeping bags, cots, pillows, and whatever else you prefer set up in the Mess Hall after dinner for them since we are _not_ letting them sleep anywhere near you guys. Teens and their sexual tension, if you know what I mean?" The host gave the group a wink. Several of them gagged in response.

"The first challenge will be starting as soon as possible, so if you guys could go meet Chef Hatchet out by the Mess Hall I'll meet you there!"

**

* * *

**

Confession Cam

Tom: "If this challenge is working together to do something, Liz and I have it in the bag. We are so going to win this for the Tortoises."

Jayna: "Hopefully this challenge involves being _against_ our guest considering there is no way I'll be able to work with that lying, heartbreaking, backstabbing, immature-"

Joe F: "I can't believe Chris brought Jamie here!" The comic artist's brow is wrinkled in a mix of stress and excitement. "Out of all people, he had to bring the girl I have a crush on? I'm a bundle of nerves around her, knowwhatImean?"

Blair: "Juliet? Really Chris?" The tomboy crosses her arms. "I'll work with her just so I won't get voted off if I really have to, but I won't like it."

Jayna: "-bragging, stereotypical, embarrassing, way too easy to make fun of-"

Tanya: "Chris definitely made the right choice when sending over Rachel. I think we balance each other out well." The redhead pauses for a moment before adding, "Plus I think she'll listen to me if I have to boss her around in the challenge. A lot of the newcomers seem like easy competition anyway… though I do like Blair's sister."

Aaron: "Veronica..." He visibly swoons just at her name. "She's here! With me! And she… she said my name!"

Jayna: "-plus, what guy is named Baxter Worthington and isn't British? He should sound like Irving's friend!"

Carrie: "It's great seeing Jonah again. I just hope he hasn't changed his mind on the whole 'not meant to date' thing now that I've been gone. He doesn't really think when the situation calls for it."

**End Confession Cam**

* * *

"You're here already?" Chef Hatchet asked when the groups started arriving. He was carrying a box out to a picnic table behind the Mess Hall. When seeing that the number of campers had doubled, he groaned. "It just kicked in that guests mean that instead of 19 of you fools there're 38."

"Wow, I didn't expect you all to make it here in one piece." Chris rode up behind the campers on a golf cart driven by the intern who'd almost gotten Tom eaten alive. "I thought one of you dudes would've clawed each others' eyes out by now."

"He needs a golf cart to go from the dock to here?" Axel questioned.

"He needs a golf cart to go from here to the bathroom." Morty responded, pointing to the communal bathrooms less than twenty feet away.

"As for your challenge," Chris walked over to the box that Chef Hatchet had just put down and pulled out one of the objects inside. "Each camper and guest group will need a pair of these."

The campers all stared at the object he held up.

Handcuffs.

"Yay!" Shelly exclaimed, grabbing (once again) onto Russell.

"No way, Chris!" Addy shrieked. "I'm not handcuffing myself to… the other Chris!"

"What?" Addy's brother asked in complete shock.

"Same here." Blair agreed. "I don't want my eyes clawed out."

"Like I'd want to be stuck with you anyway." Juliet glared.

"Rules first, whining later." Chris insisted. The girls just pouted. "You and your partner will be handcuffed together by some body part and will have to make it from here to the top of the giant cliff on the other side of the island by running through the woods. Ribbons tied around trees will show you the route. The two paths are nearly identical for each team, but we had to separate you guys because it would be way too many people on one path at a time. So Tortoises, look out for the yellow ribbons, Deer the blue.

"Along the way you guys will have to make it through four obstacles along the way: monkey bars, a rock wall, one of those wire spider web mazes, and… well, I'll leave the last one a secret for you guys. You can work with other groups of partners to help you through the obstacles, but in the end you can only move on if you and your partner make it to finish line.

"You guys will get to pick the body parts you want to handcuff together at the Mess Hall. There's a booth set up between the rock wall and spider web maze where an intern will have keys if you want to change the body part before the maze and the last challenge. It can be any part you want. A wrist and a leg, two legs, a foot and a ponytail-"

"The first guy to handcuff themselves to their partner using an explicit part gets twenty bucks!" Liz called out. Tom snickered beside her. Chris McLean glared. "Sorry, go on."

"As I was saying," Chris glared, "if you can't stand your partner for that long, get lost, or can't figure out how to get past the obstacle there's always the Loser Key available. Just shout to the cameramen and they can give it to you. Using the Loser Key puts you and your partner out of not only this challenge but the other two parts too. If you can manage to make it to the end of the course, you'll move onto the second, much easier round of the challenge. Got it?"

"No!"

"Good. Come up and get your handcuffs."

After taking a few minutes to decide which body parts to handcuff together, the nineteen groups lined up in front of their team's path. Jake and Tara, Tanya and Rachel, Tom and Liz, Kestrel and Nocturne, Irving and Harper, Morty and Axel, and Carrie and Jonah had thought of a similar method: locking the handcuffs around their ankles and running in a three legged race style. Jayna and Baxter, Russell and Shelly, Joe F and Jamie, Sienna and Tyler, Joe H and Jason, Daphne and Todd, Kit-Kat and Kyle, and Blair and Juliet had locked their opposite wrists to each other so they could run side by side. Glisa and Eduardo, Addy and Chris, Lacey and Dave, and Aaron and Veronica had locked the same wrist together so they would have to run one behind the other or… something.

"Okay, on your marks…" Chris stood on top of the picnic table with a starter pistol in hand. "Get set…" He loaded the pistol. "G-"

"ACHOO!"

"Jake!"

"Sorry."

Chris sighed. "I swear I can't have any dramatic tension around here." _CRACK!_ "Go already."

The groups ran off with that gunshot, Eduardo picking up Glisa so he could run without having to worry about her, Aaron nervously asking permission before picking Veronica up bridal style, and Lacey hopping onto Dave's back before they went down the path.

Chris laughed at the pairs running off into the woods… that is, until a crow with a bullet through its wing landed on the ground in front of him.

"Again?" he shouted. "Why do they even give me the gun if they know it's going to cause lawsuits?" When noticing that the camera was on him, he gave it his trademark smile. "Oh, right, ahem…

"How will this first part of the challenge go over? Who will finish the obstacle course? Will Juliet and Blair get over their sibling rivalry? Will Joe F work up the courage to speak full sentences to his crush? Will Shelly get over Russell?" The host laughs sadistically. "I highly doubt that.

"As for you watchers who might be having trouble remembering who's who, here's a handy dandy list for you:

**Connected by the Ankles (three-legged race style):**

**Jake and Tara (friend)  
****Morty and Axel (friend)  
****Irving and Harper (friend)  
****Tom and Liz (friend)  
****Tanya and Rachel (sister)  
****Carrie and Jonah (friend, ex)  
****Kestrel and Nocturne (friend)**

**Connected by the Opposite Wrists (right and left):**

**Joe F and Jamie (crush)  
****Kit-Kat and Kyle (brother)  
****Daphne and Todd (brother)  
****Sienna and Tyler (brother)  
****Russell and Shelly (stalker)  
****Joe H and Jason (brother)  
****Blair and Juliet (sister)  
****Jayna and Baxter (ex)**

**Connected by the Same Wrists (left and left or right and right):**

**Aaron and Veronica (longtime crush who possibly doesn't know he exists)  
****Glisa and Eduardo (brother)  
****Addy and Chris [not McLean] (brother)  
****Lacey and Dave (brother)**

"We'll be back after this commercial break!"

**

* * *

**

1. Barmpots- British slang for idiots not used as a serious insult.

**2. True fact. Snakes, no matter how disgusting, are good for the environment.**

**3. –"I missed you so much."  
**– "**Me too, Glory. You're doing good here, right?"  
**– "**Of course, Eddy!" (Note: I did the Spanish myself. That means it's probably not completely right, but it's close enough.)**

**4. Ozzie is one of Lacey's other older brothers.**

**This chapter was seriously supposed to be a lot longer than it was. Most of the groups were supposed to have been past the rock wall by now. Then I realized it might be a bit easier to just leave the chapter as is and do the entire first part of the challenge all in one chapter.**

**As for the chapter itself, lots and lots of new faces here... and of course the aftermath of the phobia challenge on one camper, the mysterious reappearance of Maureen's hat, Kestrel (and maybe Addy) realizing that Tanya might not be looking for friendship and just a way to get farther in the game, a not-so-subtle reminder that the Deer guys have that stereo (keep that thing in mind. It comes into play in the next episode!), and a milk chug-off.**

**With the guests: if certain aspects of the character (whether it's their relationship with the camper or a piece of their personality) aren't mentioned yet, I didn't forget them. They just haven't come out yet. We'll figure them out in the upcoming chapters. **

**Sorry for making Baxter such an utter jerk. I was really hoping to be able to write one of the characters that way, and though Todd was pretty close, he wasn't the right kind of jerk. ****As for the over usage of British slang with both Jonah and Harper (but more with Harper) I really like writing such English characters. I'd have Carrie and Irving use it more but it sounds kind of funny when I write it for them. Plus, I'd need to somehow translate for them in or after the chapter.**

**The next chapter should be up must faster than this one now that it's summer and it's a pretty easy to write chapter. I won't start writing until after my birthday (on Monday) unfortunately. Oh, and Happy Independence Day in advance for American readers!**


End file.
